All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information contact
Dee Kelly www.dkellyauthor.com
This book contains mature subject matter and is not appropriate for minors. Please note this novel contains profanity, sexual situations, and alcohol consumption.
ISBN – 978-1-64136-534-5
For my readers – After The Illusion Series, you asked for something lighter and I said I would try. This is me trying. I hope you fall in love with Declan, Holly, and their friends as much as I did.
Nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret. ~ Jean de La Fontaine
one
Holly
I woke up with one thing—or rather, person—on my mind. Declan. Two years after our breakup, he’s the last person I should be thinking about. No one frustrates me more or gets under my skin as much as he does, but Declan threw down an invisible gauntlet last night and my mind hasn’t stopped spinning since.
Deciding some exercise is exactly what I need, I throw on a cute pair of flip flops that match my sundress and take a final, approving glance in the mirror. With my sunglasses on and my purse in hand, I’ve decided to walk to the store. Hopefully, the walk will help clear my head and provide a much-needed clarity after my ex’s public declaration of love and devotion to me late last night.
An hour later, I realize walking to the store was the first in a succession of three rapid-fire mistakes. Juggling three bags of groceries in front of my face while entering the elevator would be my second. Not lowering them to make sure the coast was clear before the elevator doors closed behind me was my third. An unfortunate trifecta, to say the least.
“Hey, Holly.” The smoothness of his voice drizzles over my body like hot, melted butter.
“Declan,” I reply coolly as the elevator ascends. I’d prefer to call him an asshole, but I do my best not to engage.
Then, as if Satan himself is laughing at me for being stupid enough to get in an elevator with my ex, everything begins to shake, rattle, and sway.
“Fuck!” I scream, scrambling to put my groceries down and take hold of the safety rail. The lights flicker on and off as the elevator comes to a sudden halt. Soon, we’re in total darkness as we continue to shake. Declan knows better than anyone how terrified I am of earthquakes and is by my side instantly. His hand covers mine, and for once I don’t push him away. If I’m going to die, being touched by Declan James is not a bad way to go.
The shaking only lasts about a minute, and the backup lights have already come on. I reach over to push the emergency button and rattle off our building information to the dispatcher. I’m not sitting in this elevator with him any longer than I have to, but I’m told it could be up to an hour-long wait.
“Relax, Holls, it’s just another day in Cali.”
I try not to look at him because those cerulean eyes and jet-black hair of his make me weak in the knees and wet in places Declan shouldn’t affect me anymore. “Look,” he says, weakening my resolve not to look at him, “they’re saying it’s only a 4.6. That’s nothing. We’ll be out of here in no time.”
Taking the phone he’s holding out to me, I’m looking at the webpage he’s got up when it rings and a photo of a beautiful blonde pops up on his screen. No matter how long it’s been since we’ve been apart, seeing other women with him always stings.
“Take your booty call hotline back,” I grumble as I shove his phone at him. With a casual shrug, he dismisses the call.
“That was just work.”
“You don’t owe me any explanations, Dec.”
“What if I want to?”
Gripping the rail of the elevator car, I take a deep breath. Losing my shit on him is not going to be productive. “You lost that right two years ago.”
He loosens his tie, something he does when he’s stressed. It’s a sexy fucking move and always turns me on, and he knows it. “We both needed a break.”
“Says the man who’s slept his way through half the state.”
“That’s not true and it’s not fair.”
“Sorry, maybe I should say half the co-eds in the state. Would that make it more accurate?” My anger is growing by the second. I hate how much I continue to let him get under my skin.
“You’ve had your fair share of one-night stands, Holls.”
“Says who?” I snap back.
With wide eyes, he inches closer. “Says all those guys going into your apartment.”
“For someone who knew me so well, you don’t seem to know me at all. I may invite someone in, but that doesn’t mean I spread my legs and offer them an all-night pussy buffet. I have standards, Dec. Maybe you should get some of your own.”
He laughs and flashes me a brilliant smile. His dark-framed glasses give him this whole sexy geek vibe, making him even hotter. God, I hate him … almost as much as I used to love him. “You said pussy. You must be really pissed at me right now, you hate that word.” He continues laughing, and it annoys the hell out of me.
If we’re going to be here a while, I might as well get comfortable. Kneeling down, I dig through my groceries and pull out two bottles of water. I’d rather keep them to myself and let him suffer, but I don’t want to give him a reason to talk to me more than necessary. Then I find the chocolate chip cookies and open them up. These he doesn’t get.
“Water?” I ask as he sits down next to me.
“Sure, thanks.”
He waits for me to offer him a cookie and shakes his head when I don’t. “I’m good enough for water but not for cookies?”
“You said it, not me.”
“Come on, Holly, you know they’re my favorite.”
“Are they? I thought blondes with big boobs were your favorite?”
Bitter much? Yeah, I am. After we broke up, Declan seemed to develop a type—a very specific one: big-busted blondes with long legs and teeth too white to be natural. Considering I’ve got dark-auburn hair and green eyes, I’m not sure what he was even doing with me in the first place. I used to consider myself pretty until the one man I thought loved me more than anything started dating the complete opposite of me. I know I’m self-deprecating, and no man should tear down my self-confidence, but Dec isn’t just any man. Once upon a time, he was my world.
He bumps my shoulder with his, and his eyes reflect a rare sincerity that catches my attention. “You’ve always been my favorite, Holly. Chocolate chip cookies are a close second, and shapely blondes, while nice, are nothing in comparison.”
Groaning, I hand him the bag of cookies; he can have them all if it will shut him up. After he takes a bite, he moans appreciatively, reminding me of the sound he used to make when he was turned on. I wonder if he still sounds that way … Dammit! I hate him for making me think of those times while I’m stuck with him and have no escape.
“Holly, for real … are you ever going to forgive me? I miss you.”
As his words trail off, the regular lights kick back on and the sound of the elevator coming to life is music to my ears. The voices of the LAFD come through the intercom letting everyone know the building and elevators have been cleared. We both stand, and before I have a chance to grab my groceries, Declan scoops all three bags up and holds on to them.
“Why do you always have to try to be such a gentleman? I already know your true colors, Dec, you don’t need to impress me.”
The doors to the elevator slide open, and he follows me down the hall to my apartment. When I open the door, he takes the bags to the kitchen and hops up on my counter. He’s so annoying.
“When are you going to stop acting like you don’t care about me anymore? I made a mistake, I fucked up and misread a situation, but I still think it was for the best. I’ve grown, Holly, and so have you. I’m not trying to impress you, I’m being the same Declan I’ve always been.”
He jumps down and heads to the door. “I’m not giving up, Holls, and the sooner you realize that the better.”
Wh
en he closes the door behind him, I release a frustrated scream. Declan James is going to be the death of me.
“Go across the hall and ask Declan for some batteries,” Sage, my best friend, says as she laughs hysterically.
“Don’t be a bitch, Sage. I’m not in the mood. Besides, it’s his fault I’m horny in the first place.”
“Come on, Holly, you know Declan would give you a mercy fuck if he knew your vibrator was out of juice.” She’s still laughing.
“So now I need a mercy fuck?” I screech into the phone.
“Stop it. You know I didn’t mean it like that. You and Declan may be over but your sexual chemistry is still hotter than ever. Both of you should stop being stubborn and at least agree to be friends with benefits.”
The doorbell rings, and the thumping of packages hitting the ground echoes through the hall. My delivery guy sucks—he could at least wait for me to open the door. When I do, I glance quickly into the hall to be sure no one is around and bend down and pick up the boxes.
“Damn, I miss that ass.”
Declan. Who did I piss off to deserve the karmic retribution of seeing him twice in the same day?
“See!” Sage screeches into my ears. “Now, tell him your vibrator is out of juice and you need a fix.”
While Sage is screaming, Declan is trying to take my packages from me, his smirk more than proving he heard Sage through the Bluetooth in my ear.
“I’m going to have to call you back,” I say, effectively hanging up on her.
Declan is tugging on the boxes, so I let him carry them inside. The sooner he gets his way, the sooner he’ll go home to his revolving door of tramps.
Declan James is my kryptonite. He’s the asshole who used to be my best friend until he broke my heart. He’s also relentless. After the lease was up on our old place, he tracked me to my new building and discovered the terms of my lease. Don’t ask me how; he probably fucked the leasing agent, too. The next thing I knew, he was my new across-the-hall neighbor. Asshole.
“Where do you want them?” he asks, flashing me his dimpled smile.
Bastard.
“On the table would be great.”
After he sets them down, he takes a seat and looks up at me with his sex gaze. It only fuels my already super-charged hormones. This is going to be a long freaking day.
“You know, Holly, I’m much better equipped for your needs than a vibrator. Want me to help you out of your bind?”
“Not even if you were the last man on earth and my vagina would atrophy without you.”
His laugh makes me tingle all over. The laugh I fell in love with at fifteen, the one that used to make me smile. Until he broke up with me to be a manwhore. Now that laugh reminds me of all the reasons Declan James needs to stay out of my life.
“I did it for us, Holly. I know you’ll never believe it, but I swear we needed time apart so we could be better together.”
With a roll of my eyes, I pour myself a cup of tea. “Keep telling yourself that, Declan. In the meantime, get out of my apartment, okay?”
He steps behind me and pins me between him and the counter. Dropping his mouth to my ear, his husky voice washes over me like a million rays of sunshine. “I still love you, and I always will.”
My hands tremble against the counter, but I won’t let him suck me in. I’ve tried so hard to get over him. “You can love me from afar, Declan. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”
He caresses my arm as he backs away slowly. I hear the door open, followed by his words, “I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth if that’s what it takes.”
“Yeah, and what about all the other women? You’ve got a rotating succession of them at the snap of your fingers.”
“You’re the one who owns my heart. All you have to do is tell me to stop, Holly, and I will.”
I flip around to face him, nailing him with a steely gaze. “Are you saying you won’t have sex with anyone else if I tell you not to?”
“If there’s a chance for us to be together again, I won’t.”
“Prove it.” I’m pissed, finally letting my anger lead the discussion.
“Sure. Define sex and name the terms,” he says, shrugging casually with his hands in his pockets.
“Fondling, penetration, stroking, oral, and anal. Also, no dating, kissing, or flirting. Other women in general are completely off limits.”
Declan needs women and sex like he needs air; I can’t see him agreeing to my demands.
“Porn?” he replies with a smirk.
“No live webcam porn where you can interact with the people on camera.”
His mouth drops. “Do you think I do that?”
“Wouldn’t put it past you.”
“Do you do that?” he asks with a slow, decadent smile.
“Ew, Declan, don’t be so nasty.”
Laughing, his eyes light up. I hate the way he makes me feel inside when he does that. “You’re the one who brought it up, Holly. But okay, I’ll play. What do I get in return?”
This is where it gets tricky. Once I let him back into my life, I’ll never want to let him go. Even worse, I’m not even sure I want him back in the first place. “What would you want in return? Not saying I’ll give it to you, but hypothetically speaking.”
“You in my bed, every night for the rest of my life.”
“Not happening,” I retort, but he’s not fazed in the slightest.
“Didn’t think it would, but I had to aim high, right? How about your friendship, and at least one date a week, plus sex with each other when you need it?”
“When I need it?” I ask with a raised brow.
Leaning against the doorjamb, he crosses his feet in front of him. “If I asked for sex when I need it, we’ll never leave the apartment.”
His words make me blush.
“How long do we play this game?”
Stalking toward me like a man on a mission, Declan grabs my hand, placing it over his heart. “As long as it takes for you to realize you’re the only one who has ever owned my heart and you’re the only one who ever will.”
The frantic beating of his heart under my palm makes me want to fall in love with him all over again. The truth is, I miss him. I’ve never missed anyone the way I miss him and he only lives ten feet away.
“Holly, the two of us are meant to be. What will it hurt to try again?”
“You … I …” Releasing a frustrated sigh, I pull my hand away from his chest. I can’t think with Declan touching me. “If we try this and it doesn’t work out, you need to move. Those are my terms. When it ends …”
“It won’t,” he emphasizes.
“When it does—”
“If it does,” he corrects, moving further into my personal space.
“You’ll move and leave me alone. Losing you once nearly killed me, Dec, losing you twice would …”
“Holly,” he says, his lips hovering a breath above mine, “I’m not stupid enough to lose you twice in a lifetime.” His lips cover mine in a soft, quick kiss. When he pulls back, he smiles bigger than I’ve seen in ages and walks away.
“Tomorrow night, seven p.m., my place, for dinner, friendship, and our first grownup date,” he says before closing the door behind him.
I’m still standing in the middle of my living room, stunned, when there’s a knock at the door a few minutes later. Through the peephole I see Declan standing there holding another box. When I swing open the door, he passes the box to me. “We didn’t discuss my rules. You can’t date, either. The rules you set for me apply to you as well. Self-satisfaction is important, you should find something in here that will fit your vibrator. Unless you’ve changed your mind. I’m happy to take care of your intimate needs, Holls.”
Pulling a pack of AA batteries from his box, I hand it back. “I can take care of myself, Dec, I have been for a long time now. See you tomorrow.”
two
Declan
Some people call me an asshole. Others, a
scrumptious piece of ass. Without a doubt, I’m both of those, but I’m also an idiot. Two years ago, I lost the love of my life, and tonight I’m going to explain to my followers how I got myself into this ridiculousness in the first place. Call it step five thousand and fifty of my “Get Holly Back” campaign.
“Welcome to another edition of The Funhouse. Today is Tequila Tuesday, and our topic of the night, ladies and gents, is passion and women. Not just women, but the woman, my woman. That’s right, you heard correctly. Before we get started, it’s time for you to catch up because this is shot number six right here,” I say, tossing back the prelude to my seventh shot of Patrón. I’m pretty sure from some of their comments already, they’ve been hitting the bottle longer than I have today. Either that, or I’m drunker than I thought.
“The worst part about the process of dating anyone are the mistakes we make along the way. That’s what dating is, right? Trial and error until we either fuck up too much, get fed up with someone else’s shit, or if we’re lucky, we find the person who adores us in spite of our idiocy. I had one of those once … a girl who loved me despite my stupidity.
“Until I made that one relationship-altering mistake. It was a fuckup of epic proportions. I cannonballed into the conclusion pool like a MoFo. Instead of listening to reason, I swam in the deep end for a while. By the time I realized what an idiot I was, the love of my life had already slipped through my fingers.”
Pausing momentarily, my eyes flick down to watch all the comments pouring onto my live feed. I guess you could say I’m a bit of an internet celebrity. Back in college, I started talking to the world about my thoughts and opinions, and people started listening. The next thing I knew, I had millions of followers, advertisers, and groupies. The whole thing is very strange, but the money and perks have by far exceeded any job I could ever land. In fact, if I live modestly and invest wisely, I’m completely set for life at the ripe age of twenty-five. Now that live-streaming with comments on social media is the new trend, I give my fans at least one live feed a week. If they want anything else, they need to hit up my channel because that is my bread and butter.
Vote Then Read: Volume III Page 46