I look at Declan, hoping he’ll see the apology in my eyes before answering Stephan.
“We can have lunch and talk things out. Stephan, you should know it’s not going to change my mind, but we should have a conversation. How about Wednesday. We can meet at our usual spot at noon?”
“I’d like that. Thank you. I’m sorry for interrupting your evening. Have a good night, everyone.”
Once he leaves, you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Declan storms out right after him, and I hear his apartment door slam shut.
Sage’s arm is on my shoulder immediately. “Go to him, Holly, or this will only get worse.”
“Damn, girl, that guy was smoking hot” Baxter says.
“Right? I thought it was just me,” Heather adds.
As I walk to the door, I hear Baxter reply, “Girl, you’re twelve. Leave the men for the grownups and find yourself a Beckham brother.”
Knocking on Declan’s door doesn’t get me any results but turning the knob does. It’s an asshole move, but I know if the situation were reversed he’d do the same to me. I find him sitting on his couch, bent over, head in his hands.
Perching myself on his coffee table in front of him, I pull his hands from his head and hold them in mine. “Talk to me, Declan.”
When his baby blues meet my eyes, it’s heartbreaking how gutted he is. “Tell me about him.”
“There’s not much to tell. Stephan and I went out a few times. He wanted a more serious commitment and I didn’t. We ended things. After the two of us made our arrangement, he called wanting to try again and I told him no. Actually, I told him I was seeing someone else.”
“You did?”
“Of course.”
He blows out a breath. “Did he know about me when you were dating? How long did you date?”
He’s jealous; it’s more of a turn-on than I would’ve expected. “He knew a little bit about you. That we had been in a long-term relationship and that I’d been hurt. I guess we dated for about three months?”
“So it was a relationship?”
“No, we dated casually. There was no exclusivity, no expectations.”
“But you had sex.”
“Yes, we had sex. He’s a nice guy, Dec, but he isn’t you. That’s the problem, no one has ever been you.”
A glimmer of hope sparks in his eye. “Then why did you agree to lunch?”
“For the same reason. He’s a nice guy who stood awkwardly in a room filled with my closest friends and my date. Poor Stephan doesn’t know we’re already exclusive, so he put his heart on the line and tried in his own sweet way to get me back. That man came armed with flowers, dressed to the nines, and a plan to woo me. I can’t give him my heart, but I can give him my time and an explanation.”
He inches closer to me, and I bite down on my lip. It’s a nervous habit and he knows it. With his thumb, he pulls my lip away from my teeth. “Why can’t you give him your heart, love?”
“Because it’s always belonged to you.”
He reaches around me and palms the back of my head. The look in his eyes is one of pure adoration as he pulls me to his lips and kisses me tenderly. It’s slow and innocent and exactly what I need from him. As the love simmers between us, his kiss becomes more passionate. His tongue greets mine in a languid stroll of reconciliation, pouring his heart into every stroke.
“Wow.” It’s the only word I can say when we part.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you? I wanted to throttle him. Jealousy isn’t an emotion I enjoy, Holly.”
“I don’t like being jealous, either, Declan, but you have to trust me, just like I have to trust you.”
“Yes, I know. It would be easier if I knew what the fuck you were keeping from me, though.” He mutters the last part, but it stings nonetheless.
“Can we go have a nice night? I feel like we’ve made huge progress tonight and I don’t want to spoil it with things from the past.”
“Of course.”
When we stand, he pulls me into a hug. “Declan, just give me a few more dates before we delve into the painful stuff, okay? I want to enjoy us for a bit longer.”
“You can have as much time as you need. Don’t worry, Holls, there’s nothing you can tell me that will make me love you any less.”
It’s not his love I’m worried about. It’s his anger at the lying that has me scared.
twelve
Holly
“I can’t believe you talked me into going to a gay bar to celebrate moving day. I love you, Baxter, but not having the opportunity to get laid after a night of grinding on the dance floor sucks.”
“I love you, too, Sage. Besides, if you really think about it, Declan probably won’t be the only straight wingman there. Plus, bi guys totally go to gay bars, too.”
“Oh fuck, that’s a good point. How hot would that be?”
“Really hot,” Declan says, wagging his eyebrows at her.
“You’re such a jerk, Declan.”
“You love me, Sage, admit it.”
“Yeah, yeah, but you’re still a jerk.”
When we make it into the club, the place is hopping. Baxter is in eye candy heaven. A couple of months ago, he and Bobby broke up again because the guy is a cheating whore. Bax has been in a serious funk ever since.
Today, Baxter and Sage finally moved into the apartment next door to Declan and me. We’ve been in the same building for a while, and the office promised us as soon as a vacancy became available one of us would be moved next to the other.
As we climb onto our bar stools, we pair off. Baxter wanted to use Declan as a pretend boyfriend in case he decides he’s not ready to hook up with anyone. Sage and I are on Bax’s left and Declan on his right. It kind of sucks I won’t have his flirting or his constant touching tonight, but I know he’ll make up for it when we get home.
Sage is moving in her seat to the steady thumping of the music. “Let’s get drunk and dance our asses off!”
I don’t bother screaming back at her; instead, opting for a thumbs-up. My phone vibrates, and I pull it out of my pocket.
Declan: You look fucking hot tonight.
Hell yeah. He’s going to flirt after all.
I miss your touch already.
Declan: You won’t be missing it later when you’re begging me to let you come.
Promise?
“Are you two sexting right next to me?” Sage asks, feigning disgust.
“Maybe.”
Looking over my arm, she reads the thread. “Holy shit, that’s hot.”
The bartender lines up four shot glasses and fills them with tequila. We all toss them back at the same time, and he refills them immediately.
“I haven’t seen you here before. Is it your first time?” the bartender asks Bax.
Baxter flashes him a beaming smile. “First time in a while. I used to come here with my ex until I needed some breathing room.”
The bartender returns the smile and leans over the counter, closer to Baxter. “That explains it.”
“What time are you off tonight?” Bax asks, and I admire his forwardness.
Get em, Bax!
“That depends,” the man drawls.
“Hmm, on what?”
“What time I’m getting you off,” he answers.
For once, Baxter seems shocked. “That’s totally hot, but I’m not that easy. I’m more of the dating type.”
“Too bad,” he says, licking his lips.
“You could always change,” Baxter sasses.
“So could you,” the bartender replies flirtatiously.
“Ha, not likely. I like you, though. We could be friends. If you want my number, let me know. We could have fun together.”
This guy is seriously hot. Sage and I are watching their exchange with baited breath. He’s tall, dark, and handsome, with some serious muscleage going on. He could toss Bax around and do him dirty just like he likes. If only he gave off the monogamous vibe.
“I�
��ll keep that in mind. Another round in the meantime?”
We toss our shots back once more, and he refills them before checking on his other customers.
My phone buzzes again.
Declan: Was it just me or was that guy perfect for Bax?
In all the ways except the one that counts.
Declan: We’ll find him one eventually. Anyone is better than that asshole Bobby.
True.
So are you done flirting with me?
Declan: Do you have any idea how nice your ass looks perched on that stool?
Probably not as nice as yours does considering the group of guys behind you haven’t taken their eyes off of you.
Declan: They can look but they can’t touch. The only one who gets to touch is you.
And Baxter, you are his boyfriend tonight.
Declan: True, but Baxter doesn’t make me hard. You on the other hand already have me thankful I’m tucked up under the bar.
My eyes dash over to him and he smirks at me. Fucker.
“Ready to dance?” Sage asks.
“Yeah, sure.”
“We’re going dancing, save our seats. Unless someone hot comes up and you have to have him. I’m all for that, but when we come back we get to sit on your laps instead.”
“Or the hot guy can sit on my lap,” Bax counters.
“Yeah, or that, too. Remember, find a hot guy with a bi friend.” Sage is already slurring her words a bit. She’s always been such a lightweight; then again, Declan can be, too. When he tips up his fifth shot and winks at me, I’m pretty sure he’s heading to the drunk side.
We’re not three feet from the bar when she grasps my arm tightly. “Oh shit, Holls. Fuck, look who’s staring this way.”
I’m peering out into the crowd and my eyes lock onto Bobby’s almost immediately. “Shit, this is so not good. Let’s get out of here.”
We turn around to find Declan and Baxter with their heads together—probably so they don’t have to yell—but if anyone didn’t know them, it would look extremely intimate. One of the problems Baxter and Bobby had was Bobby always thought Declan had a thing for Bax. It probably didn’t help that Bax told him he’d been in love with Dec when we were younger.
Sage and I walk over and tuck ourselves into their huddle. “Don’t turn around, but Bobby is here and he’s staring right at you. He looks pissed.”
Baxter’s eyes fill with fear at my words as Declan’s fill with anger. “Bax, play this cool. Bobby is not going to wreck our night. Let me lead on this one. Don’t let him get to you.”
Sage and I move off to the side a bit, and Declan turns their bar stools sideways. He places one hand on Bax’s knee before covering Baxter’s hand with his free hand on the bar.
“Is it wrong that I’m totally getting off on this?” Sage whispers loudly in my ear.
“No, because I am, too.” I know it’s all a farce, but it’s hot because Declan is a good man who will do anything to protect his best friend. Thankfully, Baxter has long been over Declan. They may joke, but at the end of the day, Baxter loves Dec and me being together.
Bobby moves toward them, and Dec sees it out of the corner of his eye. They laugh at some joke and Declan brings his fingers up to trace Baxter’s lips. Sage and I move closer, captivated by what is going on. Baxter’s face flushes, and when Bobby is within hearing distance, Declan practically growls at Baxter. “You’re a fucking sexy piece of man meat, Baxter Ross.”
Bobby’s face contorts angrily as Declan’s hand moves to the back of Baxter’s head. Before my mind can process what is going on, Dec’s tongue is in Bax’s mouth and they’re going at it. I’m decidedly turned on, and so is Sage.
“Fuck me, Holls. Think it would be that hot if we kissed?”
“Nope,” we both say at the same time.
Baxter is playing along, weaving his fingers through Dec’s hair. They look like they’re really into this kiss, and for a split second my heart drops.
“What the fuck is going on?!” Bobby screams at them. Dec moves away slowly, licking his lips in the sexiest way before turning his attention to Bobby.
“I’m not sure that’s any of your business.”
“I knew there was something going on with you two. The whole time you denied it up and down. Explain yourself, Baxter.”
Baxter looks up at him in a lust-filled daze and shrugs. “What I do with my life is none of your business.”
Yes! He’s finally sticking up for himself. Declan stands, looking smug, and the bartender is watching it all play out. He seems highly amused.
“Bobby, I think it’s time for you to go,” Dec says, moving in front of Baxter.
Bobby shoves Dec out of the way, but Declan has lightning-fast reflexes. He punches Bobby and has him laid out on the floor before Bobby knows what hit him. Baxter looks proud but also torn. Declan is pissed. “It’s me or him, Baxter. Don’t you dare go back to him, I’m not joking.”
Sage grips my arm. To anyone else it looks like a lover’s quarrel, but that’s not what this is at all. Declan just put everything on the line to protect Baxter; if he goes back to Bobby, it will kill their friendship.
The bouncer comes up and the bartender points to Bobby. “Only him. He started it.” With a nod, the bouncer escorts a screaming Bobby to the door.
“I wasn’t going to go to him,” Baxter says as the bartender brings ice to Declan for his hand.
“Yeah, I figured,” Declan says as Baxter pulls me to him.
“Your man can kiss.”
Declan smiles, and the bartender looks at him in amusement. “You’re not gay?”
“Nah, just helping my buddy out tonight. Bobby is an ass.”
“Bi?” he asks with a raised brow.
“Don’t I fucking wish,” Sage says. “How about you, sexy? Are you bi? Maybe bi-curious?” She flutters her eyelashes at him, and he releases a full-bodied laugh.
“I’m as gay as they come, sweetheart.” Then, he writes on a napkin and passes it to Baxter before going to help another customer.
I read it with him since he’s still got me wrapped in his arms. “Any enemy of Bobby is a friend of mine. Call me for friendship, and maybe more … Zander.”
“Holy shit, Bax! He’s got a Z name. Isn’t that like the holy grail for you?” I’m so excited for him, I kiss him on his cheek.
“Well, kissing Declan used to be the ultimate holy grail, but this is now since I can scratch that off my list.”
Declan and Sage are chatting, so I pull Bax into a huddle-type hug. “Are you okay after that? I know you used to have feelings for him, and I’d hate to think—”
He places his finger to my mouth to hush me. “I love you, Holls, and thanks for worrying about me, but you don’t need to. Declan can kiss, but his rod of steel didn’t even make an appearance while he kissed me. I know he’s not gay, and even more, I’d never want to be the cause of breaking you guys up.”
“How do you know his rod of steel didn’t make an appearance?”
Baxter feigns an exhausted look. “Come on, Holls, you know me better than that. I couldn’t let my one shot slip past me. Before we broke apart, my hand accidentally-on-purpose ghosted over his cock.”
I bust up laughing. This is the Baxter we all love. “Really, nothing?”
“Not even a teepee tent,” he adds sullenly.
His tone concerns me. “Are you sure that you’re fine with this?”
“Sweet cheeks, I’m more than fine. Declan not rising to the occasion might be a slight blow to my ego, but it was to be expected. Even so, I’m not sure there’s a better feeling in the world than knowing your best friend loves you enough to do what Declan just did. We hit the lotto with him, didn’t we?”
“We sure did, but we also hit the lottery with you and Sage.”
“What the hell, Bax? You going to hog my girl all night? She should be over here kissing me and making me all better.”
“Excuse me, and here I thought you were a tough guy.”
<
br /> Sage snorts and swaps places with me. Declan wraps his free arm around me and pulls me close. “Need some TLC, sexy?” I ask him.
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” he murmurs as he nips my ear.
“I’m sure sexy piece of man meat is willing to help. What do you say, Bax?”
This time, Declan blushes as Sage and Bax laugh with me.
“That was the best fucking line ever. We’re going to be old and gray in our wheelchairs still laughing at this story. But in the meantime, you tend to the big baby while Sage and I hit the dance floor.”
As they shimmy away, I lift the ice pack off Declan’s hand. He must have hit Bobby harder than I realized. His knuckles are bruising, and one of them is popped open and bleeding a little. I bring his hand to my lips and kiss him carefully.
“Are you okay? I don’t think it’s broken or anything.”
“I’m fine. It’s just a little sore, but it was worth it to lay that fucker out once and for all.”
“What about the kiss? Was that worth it?”
“Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe you should kiss me so I can be sure I’m still playing for the right team.”
He weaves his fingers through my hair and fuses our lips together. Our tongues meet in an explosive dance. The music and the club fade away, and it’s just the two of us and our ignitable passion. He moves my hand to his dick and he’s hard as a rock. Groaning, I pull back from our kiss.
“Yup, pretty sure I’m still Team Holly.”
“Tell me the truth and I won’t be mad. You felt nothing when you kissed Baxter?”
“It was like kissing anyone else for the first time. A little awkward, until we found our groove. I got more of a rush from knowing we were pissing Bobby off, though. It wasn’t bad, and I could even see enjoying it if it were someone other than Bax. I’d do anything for him, but as far as sexual favors go, kissing him is where I draw the line. I was more worried I was hurting you.”
“Nah, I knew what and why you were doing it. It was hot in a strange kind of way. Baxter is a little too close for comfort. If you’d been kissing Zander, I could have been really into it.”
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