But one thing I’d tried really hard to do was not let that get in the way. Because loss taught me brutal lessons about never taking anything for granted. So, I took a gulp of coffee followed by a deep breath and met my mother’s concerned gaze. “I’m so-so,” I finally said.
“So-so? That tells me almost nothing,” my mother said with a hint of a smile.
“Okay, okay. It’s a guy thing.”
My mother sipped her coffee slowly, her gaze considered. “Since you’re giving me next to nothing, I’ll guess. You like someone, and it’s not going well?” At my nod, she continued. “I doubt you want advice from me, but if there’s one thing your dad and I got right, it’s commitment. There is no perfect in love. Ever. People screw up all the time. Even after they get things spectacularly right sometimes. If it matters, then do something about it. Whatever you do, don’t write someone off if they screw up. If it’s worth it, most people figure it out.”
“Why would you think I’d write someone off?” I asked, knowing by the sting in my heart she’d zeroed in on a genuine possibility.
“Because you have a stubborn streak. So does your brother. It’s possible you got that from me,” she replied with a teasing smile.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek and rolled my eyes. At that moment, Nancy stopped by our table. “Y’all need anything else?” she asked.
When we both shook our heads, Nancy shifted gears. “And when is Mack coming home?” she asked, referring to my older brother.
My mother beamed. “Soon, I hope.”
Nancy beamed in return. “Well, I know y’all will be glad to see him. I sure will.” Pausing, she glanced away when someone called her name from the counter. With an apologetic smile, she looked back at us. “Cranky oven today. Apparently, I’ve got the magic touch. Good to see you both,” she said before hurrying away.
My phone buzzed after that with a text from Dani asking me to cover a shift after one of the waiters had to leave early. Looking up at my mother, I said, “I’ve gotta go…”
I meant to thank her, but emotion rushed through me, startling me with its intensity. This was nothing more than coffee with my mother, but it meant so much, even more so for how mundane it was. No matter what, she was always there. Even when all she did was remind me not to be too stubborn. Whether or not Dawson figured it out wasn’t so much the point. I was teetering on shutting him out.
With my words falling short, my mother reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry so much, Evelyn. If it’s going to work out, it will.”
“That’s all?”
Sadness flickered in her eyes. Because I knew, and she knew, just how things couldn’t work out. Sometimes you lost people, and it was just random bad luck. When things didn’t work out, life kept on whether you wanted it to or not.
On the heels of that flash of sadness, my mother smiled, her eyes twinkling. “Yes. But you already know that.”
One night when I had worked late yet again, I was returning to my cabin. The ache of missing Dawson had morphed into a dull, throbbing pain. The lights interspersed throughout the trees guided me back to my cabin. I willfully attempted not to even look in the direction of Dawson’s cabin, yet my eyes swung in that direction when I heard the leaves rustle.
I recognized his silhouette in the darkness immediately. He was backlit by the light from his porch, and my eyes soaked him in—the clean line of his jaw, the slope of his strong shoulders, and the easy way he moved, grace and strength spun together.
That crack in my heart stung. My throat hurt, and my eyes pricked with unshed tears. Trying to breathe through the emotion, I looked away. Before I took another step, I heard him exclaim. It sounded as if he were in pain.
My feet turned on their own, and I hurried up the path toward him. “Are you okay?”
Silver-gray eyes met mine, glinting just barely in the light cast from the porch. “Copperhead,” he muttered, his tone low and pained.
I realized he was cradling his arm, and my eyes flicked to his wrist. Even in limited light, I could see it was already swelling. I forgot about my cracked heart and my wounded pride. “We have to get you to the hospital now.”
“Aw, fuck.”
Out of habit, he started to reach into his pocket with his right hand and then swore, shaking his wrist free.
“I’ve got my phone,” I said quickly, yanking it out of my purse. “Who should I call?”
“Jackson. It’ll be faster for him to drive me,” he murmured. “Be careful, I don’t know where the snake went.”
Tapping Jackson’s contact on my phone screen, I waited, glancing around while the phone rang in my ear. Copperheads were abundant in North Carolina. They tended to hide away, but if they felt threatened, they would bite.
Jackson answered. “Jackson here.”
“Jackson, it’s Evie, and Dawson told me to call you. He got bit by a copperhead.”
“Where are you?”
“On the path in front of his cabin.” Pausing, I glanced at Dawson. “Can you walk?”
His features were taut as he nodded. “Of course, I can walk.”
Jackson must have heard his reply. “Meet me at the lodge. Go to the back.”
“Okay. We’ll be there in a few.” Ending the call, I stepped closer to Dawson. “Come on,” I said, threading my hand through Dawson’s elbow on the side opposite from his injury. “How do you feel?”
“It stings like hell. Can’t fucking believe I did that.”
“What happened?”
“I left a few things under the porch over the summer. Hell if I know why I decided to deal with it tonight.”
I was quiet, uncertain of what else to say. I told myself he would be okay. He had to be okay. Copperhead bites didn’t usually kill unless someone had an unusual reaction to them.
It didn’t matter what I told myself. I was scared and worried for Dawson and didn’t like seeing him in pain. That worry smashed up against the confusing feelings I’d been carrying inside ever since our last night together.
I practically dragged him down the path to the lodge. Jackson was waiting at the back door, illuminated by the light above it.
As usual, Jackson was all business when it came to anything emergent. As soon as we reached him, he held the door open and gestured us through. I had to force myself to let go of Dawson’s arm. His eyes met mine as I stepped back, and for a moment, the distance fell away between us.
Then he was turning away as Jackson pulled him into a small room beside Dani’s office.
“Let’s take a look. We need to get you to the hospital just to be safe. Wade’ll be here any minute, so I’ll clean it while we wait,” Jackson said.
I wanted to stay so badly, yet there was nothing for me to do. I stood there in the hallway, practically bouncing on my feet with the urge to follow them into the room. I needed to stay sane and not do anything stupid. As I stood there waiting, Wade came in from the front. “Where’d Jackson take Dawson?”
I gestured to the room by Dani’s office. Wade stepped in, his voice carrying to me. “I’ll drive. You guys ready?”
When they filed out, Dawson’s skin pale, I swallowed against the emotion thickening in my throat. “Do you guys need me to do anything?”
When Jackson shook his head, I nodded, not sure what else to say. Watching as they walked out, I told myself I didn’t need to get my hopes up again. All over a snakebite. “Can you call, and let me know if he’s okay?” I asked Wade as he passed by.
“Of course,” came his easy reply.
I waited until the taillights of the emergency vehicle disappeared down the drive before I left. The ache in my heart throbbed with every step on my way back to my cabin.
23
Dawson
My wrist and hand throbbed with a dull, beating pain. Beyond being flat pissed off at myself for being so fucking stupid as to reach under my porch in the darkness, the only thing I could think about was Evie.
The moment I’d seen
her come running up the path, my emotions slammed into each other, pressing tight together before expanding abruptly. I’d been doing my damnedest and working like a wild man to avoid her.
Seeing her had split all the feelings I’d been trying to hold at bay wide open again. Her concerned gaze, the feel of her hand curled around my elbow, the arch of her brow, the curve of her lips—all the small things that made me miss her so fucking much.
I just got bit by a snake and didn’t even care. My head was pounding, and I was exhausted. I had Jackson here being all practical, and Wade driving us to the hospital
“I don’t need to go to the hospital, guys. Just give me some ibuprofen, and I’ll be fine.”
Jackson was in the middle of dabbing antiseptic over the two puncture marks and looked up, arching a brow. “We’re going to the hospital. Just to clear you. They’ll probably take a look and tell you to monitor it.”
I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I wanted to go find Evie. I wanted to tell her I was sorry for being a fucking idiot. Everything hit me so abruptly, my emotions were almost pummeling me with clarity.
This snakebite was just a nuisance. Unfortunately for me, I had two friends who gave a shit and weren’t going to let me blow it off.
“I’m not gonna die from this fucking bite.”
Jackson eyed me. “Just get it checked. You have no idea if you’re going to have a reaction.” His gaze shifted to Wade, ignoring me. “Van outside?”
Against my preference, I was hustled into the emergency vehicle, not that we needed it. Over the next few hours, I was checked out, the puncture site was disinfected thoroughly, and I was given some prescription-strength ibuprofen to help with the swelling. The whole thing started after ten o’clock at night. I wasn’t going to fess up, but I knew what had me so distracted and led me to randomly decide to clean out my summer gear from under the porch in the dark.
I didn’t want to think, and the only way to keep from thinking was to keep busy. Flipping through the channels hadn’t kept my mind off Evie, so late-night cleaning had seemed just the thing.
Trying to wrestle against my feelings for Evie was practically a full-time job and was wearing me out. Now, I simply wanted to see her. When they finally let me go with orders to monitor the swelling and pain and call if it didn’t improve, Wade drove us back to the lodge and walked me to my cabin.
“You need anything else, man?” he asked as I pushed the door open.
“Nope, I’m all set.”
When he was quiet for a minute, I sensed he wanted to say something else, but he apparently thought better of it and nodded. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Will do.” Watching as he walked into the darkness, I turned and closed the door behind him. I sank my hips onto the end of my bed and glanced at the clock above the door. It was past midnight, and I wanted to go see Evie. Not because I wanted her to take care of me, but because I craved being near her.
It didn’t seem too practical, or fair, to go banging on her door now. She’d been coming home from work when she saw me. I didn’t even like thinking about the fact that I’d been paying more than usual attention to her schedule. I hated how aware I was of everything about her. I knew I’d hurt her, and I hated that too.
Although I was still leery about the occasional darkness that claimed me—the brutal clarity that struck me tonight was I didn’t want to regret my lack of courage about her. If I didn’t tell her how I felt, I knew beyond any doubt that letting her go would rank as one of my biggest regrets. I couldn’t even fathom feeling anything close to the way I felt about her for anyone else. Maybe I would suck at this, but I had to give it a chance. I wasn’t even letting myself screw it up.
I barely slept that night. My wrist hurt like hell, and I tossed and turned with thoughts of Evie spinning on a loop. Ibuprofen took the edge off the pain, but that was about it. Come morning, I inspected the area while I was showering. My hand was swollen on the outer edge of my lower palm and wrist on the back. The bruising was a mottled purple, yellow, and green.
Whether it was rational or not, I decided to try to find Evie this morning. As I stood outside her door, my heart kicked against my ribs hard enough to make me feel a little sick. This was my own doing. I’d never been afraid of a woman before. I didn’t suppose it was fear of Evie specifically. It was fear of seeing the pain I had put in her eyes. After I knocked, I waited just long enough that I thought perhaps I’d missed her. But then, I heard footsteps. My heart started beating so hard I wouldn’t have been shocked if I cracked a rib.
The door swung open, and Evie stood there. Her hair was damp and drying around her shoulders. My eyes coasted over her—absorbing the way her brows arched like wings, the curve of her cheek, and the slight tilt to her lips. I wanted to see her lopsided smile so fiercely it was almost a visceral pain.
“Hey, I was hoping to talk to you,” I said quickly.
Her mouth opened and closed, and her cheeks flushed before going white again. “Are you okay?” she asked sharply.
“Yeah,” I replied, lifting my wrist. “It’s sore, but I’m fine. That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”
“We don’t have anything else to talk about, Dawson. I have to go to work.” She reached to the side, shrugging into a jacket she pulled off the hook by the door and grabbing her purse.
She dashed past me so quickly, she stumbled slightly. When I caught her arm, she shook me free immediately. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she said quickly before hurrying away.
I wanted to chase after her so badly, but I had to forcibly order myself not to. I needed to figure out a way to get her to listen, but it wasn’t going to work if I was pushy and demanding, especially not when she had somewhere she needed to be. Glancing at my aching wrist, I sighed and turned to walk down to the lodge. I could at least grab some breakfast.
Minutes later, I stepped through the back door into the staff kitchen. Warmth washed over me in contrast to the cool and crisp autumn morning outside. Dani was pulling the coffeepot out with a mug in hand. She glanced over when I came in the door.
“Morning, Dawson,” she called.
Evie was nowhere to be found, but then, she was probably already up front in the restaurant.
“Mornin’, Dani,” I called in return as I strode over to the counter, reaching for a mug on the shelf above the coffeepot. “How’s it going?”
“Busy. How’s your wrist?” she asked, stepping to my side as I took the coffeepot she handed over and filled the mug.
“Sore, but I’m fine.”
Dani narrowed her eyes. “Are you working today?”
Shifting my shoulders to loosen them, I shrugged. “Maybe.”
Dani rolled her eyes. “You are such a man.”
“Uh, I am a man, so that only stands to reason. How late is Evie working today?”
Dani arched a brow before pausing to take a sip of coffee, making me wait for her answer. “She’s here for the breakfast and lunch shift. Why is it any business of yours?”
I knew without knowing that Evie must’ve spoken to Dani about us. Regardless of the details, Dani likely had an opinion of her own. Heading her off, I said, “I fucked up. You’re welcome to share your opinion about it.” Turning, I leaned my hips against the counter and took a sip of my black coffee, the bitterness suited to my mood.
Dani sighed softly. “You did fuck up. For what it’s worth, I told her I thought you really liked her, and that I didn’t think it was just about fun for you.”
Her words bit sharply. The dull ache along the back of my wrist throbbed deeply. The pain was akin to that in my heart. And it was all my own damn fault.
I gulped my coffee and held Dani’s gaze even though I wanted to look away. “She thinks it was just fun?” I asked. Dani’s face softened as she nodded slowly. “Fuck,” I muttered, just as the door to the restaurant kitchen swung open and Evie hurried through. She’d braided her hair, the braid swinging as she jogged to the storage pantry.
&nb
sp; Simply seeing her sent a sharp, burning pain through my heart while I felt cold everywhere else.
“Need some help?” Dani called as she set her mug on the counter behind her and walked briskly to the pantry.
I couldn’t hear Evie’s reply, just the murmur of her voice. A few seconds later, she was hurrying back out, carrying a large can with Dani right behind her. Evie’s eyes locked with mine, and the look there sent chills through me. I saw nothing but hurt mingled with anger in her gaze. She quickly shuttered it and looked away.
I waited a few moments longer after they both disappeared into the front, hoping Dani would return so I could ask her advice, but she didn’t. As usual, she was swept into the morning. A glance out the windows told me the parking lot was full, so I knew the restaurant was busy.
Coffee in hand, I decided to search out Jackson. I needed something to distract me from Evie. The fear that I’d lost her for good had my heart aching and a sense of panic churning in my gut.
24
Dawson
“Come again?” Jackson asked, looking at me. He held a massive gray rabbit with floppy ears in his arms.
“I need some advice about Evie,” I repeated, feeling beyond foolish.
Jackson turned and set the rabbit onto a stainless-steel examination table. Angling back to face me, he rested his hips against it and stroked the rabbit’s back. “Well, this is a first,” he finally said with a glint of humor in his eyes.
“The first and only,” I said flatly.
Given how prone I was to teasing, I didn’t think I could be too bitter about him teasing me. At that moment, there were footsteps out in the hallway. A few seconds later, Lucas appeared in the doorway.
Vote Then Read: Volume III Page 142