The thud of boots on hardwood floors draws our attention. Axton appears, stopping short in the doorway when he sees us. It’s hot outside and he has his hair tied up in a small bun. His white tee shirt isn’t fitted but clings just enough to give me a glimpse at the lean body underneath. If his height wasn’t intimidating enough, the scowl on his face would be.
A curt nod is thrown in my direction, and he grunts. “You have the run of the place except for my room and the music room.” Before I can assure him that I have no reason to go into his space, his gaze brushes over me to focus on his sister. “The guys are coming over. Jude too.”
Dani frowns back at him. “Seriously? You’re partying tonight? You can’t take a night off to get prepared for the baby?”
Long arms fold around each other, making his biceps fill his sleeves. “I’m prepared.” He jerks his head toward me. “She’s here. I have a room full of diapers and bottles and all that other baby shit. And we have an album to work on.”
Dani starts to speak again, but he cuts her off. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. I’m just warning you that Jude is coming, like you asked me to.”
With that, he stalks off.
The guys are coming? So, the band? Of course, I was aware they’d be around and I’d be meeting them, but I didn’t imagine it’d be my first night here.
Dani regards me. “He’s not always like that. Moody, yes, but not a dick. He hasn’t had much time to deal with this new…situation he’s in.”
“I can’t imagine suddenly becoming a parent overnight.”
She drops her voice. “He’ll never admit it, but he’s scared.” She massages her temples with a sigh. “Shit, I’m scared for him and Caden.”
Reaching across the table, I pat the back of her hand. “I’m sure his son will win him over. Babies are good at that. And I’ll take good care of Caden, make sure he feels at home and loved.”
Dani studies me for a moment. “I wasn’t happy when Ax said he got a nanny. People should raise their own kids, in my opinion, but I like you. I’ll feel better knowing he has someone around who is good with children. Let me give you my number.” She pulls out her phone. “If you ever have any trouble, or just need someone to talk to when Ax is being an ass, you can call me.”
We swap phone numbers, and I promise to keep in touch.
“Oh! I almost forgot,” she says, as she’s getting ready to leave. A white envelope is placed in my hands. “Here is a key to the front door, and a check for your moving expenses.”
“I brought a suitcase and a few boxes,” I point out. “In my own car.”
“You were hired and expected to start in two days. I’m sure you incurred some expenses moving so quickly, breaking a lease, whatever. Just consider it a sign-on bonus. If you give Ax’s manager your bank account details, they can direct deposit your weekly pay. There’s also a credit card in there for anything you need to buy for Caden or, you know, around the house.”
“Do you usually handle stuff like this for him?”
Placing our coffee cups in the sink, she shrugs. “I work from home as a technical writer. It leaves me time to play assistant to him sometimes. He doesn’t need me as much since he has Milo. But like I said, if you have any problems that you don’t want to talk to Axon about, just shoot me a message.”
As soon as she leaves, I head back to my room. I’m not hiding exactly, but I need a few minutes alone to think before I have to face Axton again.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about meeting the rest of Tragic, but I’m determined not to show it. I’m going to be professional. After all, I’m an employee here, as simple as that. My job may not officially start until tomorrow, but there’s plenty I can do today. Like unpacking and taking stock of the baby’s room to see if there’s anything else I think he needs.
The unpacking doesn’t take long, and it’s still early afternoon when I finish. My stomach growls. Time for a break and some food. I should run to the bank and deposit the check Dani gave me, so I’ll just stop for a bite while I’m out.
Opening the envelope she handed me, I shake out the key and add it to my key ring. Don’t want to forget and lock myself out. That wouldn’t be the greatest way to start here. I add the credit card to my wallet, then pull out the check.
Holy shit. Four grand for moving expenses? There’s no doubt this job pays well, but still. It feels like I’m taking advantage.
Looking around my new room, there’s one thing I’d like to get that I didn’t bring. A television. My old one was a dinosaur and had a black spot forming in the middle of it. Okay then, lunch, bank, and shopping it is.
My car is stuffed with bags and packages. It wasn’t exactly a shopping spree, but between the check Dani gave me and the fact I don’t have to shell out anything for rent this month, I was able to get a few things to make my new room comfortable. The television, a pretty comforter set for the bed, some cheap pictures for the walls. If this is my new home, I want it to feel like it.
Some of the bags also contain basic groceries and necessities. One glance at the fridge and cupboards before I left revealed plenty of baby food and formula, but little else.
Another car is parked in the driveway when I pull in, and a guy steps out. He’s not as tall as Axton, but well over six feet with a muscular build. His smile is friendly when he approaches me.
“Hey, you must be the nanny. Moving in?”
“Yeah, I’m Naomi. Nice to meet you.”
“Jude,” he supplies, and watches me pull a couple of bags out of the front seat.
Now I recognize him. He’s the drummer of Tragic. “You don’t have to do that,” I add, as he opens my back door, picks up the large television box, and follows me inside.
“There’s something you should know about me from the beginning, Naomi. I’m a nice guy. You’ll just have to deal with it. Since we’ll be spending so much time together.”
My attempted reply is quickly cut off by Axton, who steps into the room. “Cut your shit, Jude. She’s here for my kid. Don’t fuck with her.”
“Don’t mind him. No one ever taught him to share,” Jude says.
Such a glare would intimidate most people, but Jude just laughs as Axton snatches the TV from him. The bags in my arms grow heavy, reminding me I’m just standing in the living room watching their exchange, and I move toward the kitchen while Axton stalks down the hall.
I take a moment to put away the milk and a few other perishables in the fridge before I turn to go back out to my car for the rest.
Jude walks into the kitchen with another guy behind him, both loaded down with bags from my car. They’ve brought in everything. “Oh.” I step back. “Thanks, you didn’t have to do that.”
Jude grins at the other man. “She says that a lot.”
“You just met her.”
“And she’s said it twice.”
I’m regarded by both of them as he sticks out his hand. “I’m Elliot.”
“Naomi. It’s nice to meet you. Thanks for the help.”
“No problem.”
The thud of boots refocuses me on my task, and I work to put away the groceries. I didn’t get much. Just some basics, and my cold brew coffee because I’m never going to learn to drink it hot.
The hair on my neck bristles at the sound of Axton’s voice. I imagine he has that effect on a lot of women with that deep tone, but I’m affected for a different reason. It’s so tense when he’s in the room.
“Brysen isn’t coming.”
“That’s what happens once you have a baby,” Jude quips, and I don’t miss the way Axton’s lips press together at the thought.
Elliot grabs a beer from the fridge. “We’ve been busy as fuck for months and we’ll be on tour in less than a month. You can’t blame the guy. He has a family.”
Leaving them to their conversation, I grab a few of the bags left and escape to my room. Relief is instant when I shut the door. I’m not afraid of them or anything, but it’s been an ext
remely long day on little sleep and tomorrow is going to be even more stressful.
I need a break.
Instead of unpacking my purchases like I planned, I root around in the bags to find my bathroom stuff, then run a bath. My phone gets propped up on the table beside me, and my favorite playlist of slow songs plays as I sink into the hot, scented water.
I’m not sure what I’ve gotten myself into here. Taking on not just a baby, but a very pissed off new father. My promise to Dani is fresh in my mind, to take care of Caden, make sure he feels loved, and the best way to do that will be to help him bond with his father. I’m sure once Axton holds him, he’ll see how lucky he is.
My eyes start to drift shut after about twenty minutes and since I have no desire to make headlines for drowning in a famous musician’s tub, I get out and dress. When was the last time I was in pajamas before ten o’clock at night? I can’t even remember.
Plugging my phone in beside my bed, I climb under the covers. Falling asleep in a new place is usually difficult, but tonight I have no such struggle. I’m out almost instantly.
A bray of laughter wakes me, and it takes me a few moments to realize where I am. A peek at my phone shows me it’s just past two in the morning. As much as I want to go back to sleep, my throat feels like paper. I should’ve thought to grab a bottle of water before bed, but I didn’t, and drinking from the bathroom faucet isn’t appealing. Besides, I live here, and I can’t just hide in my room to avoid Axton or his company.
Music pours in when I open the door. Something bluesy I don’t recognize. Groggy and bleary eyed, I walk down the hall. It’s necessary to go through the living room to get to the kitchen. There was a small bit of hope residing in me that they’d be in his music room or out on the back patio, but that dies when Jude’s voice speaks up at the sight of me.
“Aww, she has ducky pajamas. Lookit.”
It’s not just the guys sprawled around the living room. Two women with less clothes on than off surround Jude on the couch. Another woman wearing a tiny thong turns to look at me from her place straddling Elliot’s lap, unabashed by the fact her tits are out. An overpowering scent of alcohol and perfume smacks me in the face. Surprise momentarily nails my feet to the floor until Jude pats his leg. “Room for one more, sweetheart.”
“Hard pass.” I don’t get the words completely out when a beer can flies across the room, bouncing off his chest. It draws my attention to the person who threw it.
Axton sits in an oversized armchair, his long legs outstretched, boots resting on an ottoman, a bottle of some type of hard liquor tucked in his crotch. He points at Jude. “No fucking the help. Leave her alone.” His intoxicated gaze lands on me. “You could make us something to eat. I’m starving.”
Anger and embarrassment war inside me, heating my skin. Maybe I should be worried about the situation I’ve suddenly found myself in, surrounded by drunk men, but the way he spoke about me and to me overrides everything.
Axton stares up at me, a clear challenge in his eyes. The corner of his lip curls up, the closest thing to a smile I’ve seen from him.
At this moment, the reason I wanted this job fades into the background, behind the beating of the blood in my ears. “I’m not your cook or your fucking maid,” I snap. He continues to stare up at me, as if he can see every thought in my head, but there’s no way I’m going to let him see how unnerving his scrutiny is. For a few long seconds, I keep my gaze locked on his.
The air in the room seems to thicken around us. No one speaks and I wonder if they can feel it too. Not just the tension but the crackle of static that permeates our surroundings. Maybe it’s the animosity or simply hate. I don’t know, but I know it’s different than anything I’ve experienced before, and he’s not the first person I’ve despised. Nor the second.
Finally, satisfied I didn’t back down from him or show the slightest sign of intimidation, I walk away.
Jude’s laughter trails behind me. “Dude, I like her.”
The fridge is cool when I pause and press my forehead to it for a moment, getting myself under control. All that for a bottle of water. I’ve cursed at my boss, my famous, rock star boss who I’m sure is used to everyone falling at his feet when he speaks. That’s never going to be me. I couldn’t change that if I wanted to, and I don’t.
Calling me the help. The way he told his bandmate not to fuck me. As if I belonged to him. Like if Jude had gotten permission, I would just provide that service as well. No one owns me.
A few deep breaths, and I feel more or less in control again, determined not to say a word to any of them. Grabbing my bottle of water, I walk through the living room, not once glancing in any direction but the way I’m headed.
Judging by the sounds I heard coming from the couch, Jude was too busy getting a blow job from one or both women to comment. Whatever the other guys were up to, I don’t want to know.
After a long, cool drink from my hard earned refreshment, I fall back into bed. It’s hard not to stew over the anger, but I shove it aside by running through the tasks I need to do when I wake up, assuming I’m still employed.
I need to make a couple of bottles of formula, get a baby bag together with diapers and stuff. With no idea how long we might be at the child welfare office, I’d rather be prepared.
3
Axton
My head thumps, but not half as hard as my heart. Today is the day that I pick up Caden, and it’s a hell of a lot harder to pretend none of this is happening. My mind has raced between self-assuring thoughts that it won’t matter, my life won’t change, and I have everything under control to near panic when the truth seeps in.
I don’t want this.
Maybe I am truly my father’s son.
My stomach roils as I drag myself out of bed, shower, and dress, but it isn’t the alcohol I drank last night, it’s nerves. And dread. And whatever the fuck else I’m feeling that I can’t even identify.
Naomi sits at the kitchen table, eating an English muffin when I enter and start the coffee machine. She throws me a wary look but doesn’t say anything. Silence reigns while I down a bottle of water, then pick up the cup of coffee.
Finally, she asks, “Would you like me to install the car seat in your car?”
Shit. I didn’t even think of that. The lawyer Milo hired to represent me will be meeting us there, and I figured I’d have Naomi do the same, but if the baby is going to be with me, I’d rather she be as well. I have no idea what I’m doing.
“Yes, you’ll ride with me to pick him up. We leave in an hour.”
I can feel her gaze on my back as I let myself out the back patio door and I swear I hear her mumble a sarcastic, “Yes, sir.”
A cool breeze greets me. Flopping down in the lounger in the shade, I try to get my thoughts together. It’s happened so fast. Everything was going great. We finally got our big break, our last album produced a single that went right to the top, and the EP album has done the same. We have the festival tour, studio time, and another tour lined up. We were making it. We still are, I guess, but for some reason, this feels like an ending.
The end of Ax and the beginning of Dad.
Last night, I saw the beginning of it. The guys all together, chicks on the way, and they kept turning the subject to Caden. Like I’m the first guy to ever knock someone up.
My phone beeps with a text from Dani.
Dani: Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?
Me: I think the lawyer and nanny will be enough.
Dani: Fine. I’ll be at your place when you get back.
There’s no point in arguing with her.
By the time I’m ready to go, Naomi has the car seat strapped into the backseat of my car. A bag with a purple fish stamped on it hangs over her shoulder, and she places it on the floorboard between her feet.
The only other sound until I turn on some music is the click of her buckling her seatbelt. At least she dislikes me enough to keep quiet because the last thing I want right now
is conversation.
The drive isn’t long, about twenty minutes, and we pull into the lot of a Child Welfare office.
“Do you know how this works?” she asks, as we exit the car.
“No idea.” It seems strange. I’m just going to go pick up a baby. Like maybe they would’ve just handed him to me out a drive-thru window. I guess it isn’t this easy for most people. That’s what the lawyers and Milo have done, paved the way, made it a simple process.
Naomi falls into step beside me, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. A wave of anxiety crashes over me when we get to the door, and I pause, closing my eyes. My chest tightens and dread feels like a physical creature, crawling over my skin.
All the things I’ve been telling myself all week. The things I’ve been stressing over, the loss of my identity and freedom. The stifling of my career and lifestyle. They’re nothing to the true fear I carry. The real reason that this is the worst thing that could’ve happened to me and that baby.
Soft skin brushes down my arm and a voice floats to me. “Are you okay? Do you need a minute before we go inside?”
Shit.
Taking a deep breath, I force my eyes open and find compassionate brown ones staring back at me. I have to get my shit together. “I’m fine,” I snap, pulling open the door so fast she has to step back quickly.
“Mr. Todd.” A man in an expensive suit approaches me as soon as we step through the door. “I’m Harold Gale, your representation. Everything is in order. This should be a very smooth process.”
A glimpse of blonde hair catches my eye as a woman sticks her head out of a nearby doorway then quickly retreats. She must’ve learned to whisper in a fucking shooting range because her hiss of, “Oh my god, it’s him. He’s here,” echoes down the hallway.
The last thing I want is to deal with some fan shit when I’m barely stumbling through this as it is. One glance at the lawyer, and he nods in understanding, then disappears into that room. A few seconds later, a different woman emerges with him.
Vote Then Read: Volume III Page 311