by Dexx Peay
Elias and I went out to lunch to grab some burgers and shakes.
“Tell me more about living in NYC,” Elias said.
“Sophomore year is much harder than freshman year, I’ll say that much.”
“Tell me about it,” he replied.
We were both in our sophomore year, so I could easily relate.
“How is it being popular in high school? Don’t let people there know who your big brother is.”
“Why? My big brother is a real life genius. That’s pretty wicked.”
“Wicked?”
“Wicked.”
“Whatever,” I laughed. “Have you thought about what you wanna do when you get out of high school? That time is going to creep up on you.”
“I’m still unsure Marcus. Maybe that whole college life isn’t for me.”
“Well, just know that I support you whether you decide to go to college or become a mechanic at that nasty ass shop outside of town.”
He laughed. “You mean Rusty’s Auto Shop?”
“Yeah, haven’t you noticed how gross the outside is?”
“Point. “How is Delilah doing?”
I choked and spit my food back onto my plate followed by some uncontrollable coughing and laughs. I forgot all about her that fast since I been home.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no it’s just that… Delilah and I just broke up.”
“Well, what did you do to her? I thought she was pretty cute and had a nice accent.”
“It was because I broke up with her for Monica.”
“And I though high school kids had drama.”
Little did he know the older he got, the worse it became.
I wanted to tell my family about who I really am. I wasn’t sure how they’d would view me if they did. It was a miracle Elias and I have been even talking like this. If it wasn’t for Dad leaving, I’m not sure I would be having a conversation with him about his future or girls for that matter. I picked around my chips. My appetite didn’t match his.
After we ate, we started to drive around the town. We looked behind department stores, near the school, liquor stores, everywhere. We couldn’t find him. I was getting tired and so was Elias. I told him we could search again later tomorrow before I left.
“Any luck?” Mrs. Perry said when I walked inside to pick up Katie.
“None. Hey Dalton,” Elias said.
Katie looked so cute. Poor thing was knocked out on the couch. Her bags were already packed waiting by the door. Elias grabbed all of Katie’s things and walked outside.
“I have no idea what to do Mrs. Perry.” I plopped down on the couch across from Katie. “I can’t leave here knowing he is still out there. With Dad gone and Mom being a mess, my brother and sister have no one. What should I do?”
She came and sat next to me. She put her arm around my back and placed her hand on my shoulder.
“That is a question I can’t answer for you. You know what you have to do, just trust your instincts.”
“I have no idea. My mind is so crazy right now. I just need to get some sleep for now.”
“Well...go get some rest. I baked some chicken and rice for you and the family.”
I grabbed Katie and the dish and went back to the car.
When we got home, I put Katie in her bed. Mom was asleep, finally, and Elias said he was tired. I told him I had to make a call and I would be outside. I undressed down to my gym shorts and nothing else. I walked outside and flew onto the roof. I pulled my phone out and called Dylan. It rang and I hoped for an answer but got nothing.
I called Monica next.
She answered.
I didn’t say anything at first. I just let out one long breath.
I started to sniffle and wipe my nose as it started to run.
“What happened Marcus?” she asked.
I didn’t say anything.
I just cried.
She stopped talking and just listened to me cry.
“I can’t do it Monica,” I cried. “I can’t save everybody.”
“Marcus, just because you can fly doesn’t mean you have to play Superman. You have to slow down and prioritize.”
“I can’t...I can’t….” I cried.
I did more crying than talking to the point she started to cry. I spent most of my night on the roof crying half-naked. I couldn’t ask for a better person to be in my life at this moment than Monica. She was the only woman I felt comfortable crying my eyes out to. Dad used to tell me when I was in middle school that if I ever found a girl I didn’t mind crying in front of, marry her. Although I wasn’t quite ready for marriage — never even thought about it — but I didn’t want to lose her again.
I woke up still on the roof with the phone lying next to my ear as it rested on the shingles. Snow covered the roof except the area I fell asleep on. I wasn’t sure how I slept on the roof because my body was sore and my face had a pattern of slight indentations. I grabbed my phone and jumped off the roof.
I rang the front door and Mom answered.
“Don’t ask.”
Her face went blank and I could feel her eyes follow me until I got to my room. I put on a shirt. I walked back out and into the kitchen where Mom was making pancakes.
“Where is Elias?”
“Bathroom, giving Katie a bath.”
She looked at me and I rested against the counter.
“What happened yesterday?”
“No luck. I’m going to drive around today and check some of his old hangouts before I head back to school.”
She loaded all the pancakes on an aluminum dish and put them in the oven and started cooking sausage and eggs.
“I promoted Mitchell yesterday,” I said.
She stopped scrambling eggs and her body sank as she held the edge of the stovetop with the spatula still in her hands. I walked over and put my arms around her shoulders.
“Marcus what were you thinking? We can’t afford to promote anybody there,” her voice grew louder. “Hell Marcus, we can barely afford to keep the staff we have now.”
Mom never cursed; at least she never did around me. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. I was too focused on my own emotions and what I had going on in my world that I forgot that when something happens, everyone is affected.
“Mom I know but trust me I have an idea. If we increase our marketing and make the restaurant more appealing on paper, I know we can increase sales. I have plenty of ideas and already started handing out assignments for the employees. They all agreed to help out in what—”
She exhaled and chuckled. “I forgot I had a genius of a son.”
She put the finished eggs and sausage on plates, walked back to me and started to run her thumbs on the space near my nose as her palms relaxed on my cheeks. I closed my eyes and nestled myself inside her affection. There is no love like a mother’s love, her touch reminded me of that.
Her forehead met mine and she kissed me on the cheek.
“Get your brother and sister. Time to eat.”
Mom fixed us all a plate and we took our spots in the living room. We never had the typical kitchen or dining table adorned with fancy table settings and decor; all we had was a leather couch and a coffee table and that was first come first serve. It was always weird to me when I ate at Dylan’s house for family dinners and sat at a table. I’d choose the floor any day. Guess that’s what keeps me humble.
Later that day I drove around town once more. It almost felt like all or nothing. Instead of just the typical spots I checked parks this time, still...nothing. The sun rose in the evening, just to set as more snowflakes started to trickle. I drove downtown and parked the car on the side of the road outside the local candy shop. I walked around to clear my head while I checked some of the bars. I pulled up a picture of Dad on my phone so I could show the owners and bartenders if they had seen him.
The city had its fair share of bars and I knew nothing about where people liked to hang so I just
went inside them all. There were a few I could walk in while others I couldn’t get past the door. I was getting frustrated and further away from the car.
I ended up on Main Street, where there was another bar. I looked up and looked down at my phone. I went to the door. There was no one there, so I walked in and took a seat at the bar. There were only two other people occupying the space; an older lady puffing on a cigarette as she swirled her finger around the edge of her dark liquor filled glass, and a man in a business suit drinking beer as he watched ESPN on the flat screen. The bartender had his back to us, restocking shelves with various size and colored bottles.
“What you drinking this evening,” he said, back still turned. Before I answered, he turned to face the bar. “Whoa there pal I’m gonna to need to see some ID.” I pulled it out and handed it to him. “You’re only nineteen. I’m gonna to have to ask you to leave,” he said, pointing to the door.
“Actually. I’m not here to drink, I’m just looking for someone and wanted to know if you could help me out.” I pulled out my phone and handed it to him. “Please tell me you have seem him around.”
He looked at the phone and smirked then handed it back to me. He picked up his beer bottle and took a sip. I put the phone in my pocket.
“Thanks.” I got off the stool and started for the door.
“Yeah, I’ve seen him.” I turned around. “Comes and goes. Drinks vodka all the time. A lot of vodka. He lingers around the corner sometimes.” He continued drinking his beer.
“Thank you. It’s appreciated.”
I walked out the door and went around the first corner that led to a thin space separating the bar and a firm. There he was...my dad...sitting there—leaned back on a trashed can with a bottle of vodka in one hand. I could have cried seeing my father on the streets like he had no home.
“DAD!” I called out.
His head jumped up and fell back down. I doubt he knew who I was. I walked over to him, bent down and picked him up. He reeked of all kinds of dirty drinks and sewage.
“Madatsyuuu” he slurred.
He put his arm around me, and as I lifted him off the ground, his mouth tried to meet the bottle as I held him up. I purposely dropped him and he fell back to the ground. Vodka splashed out the bottle and he began drinking again.
I turned around and paced.
My fists balled up.
I exhaled a few times—punching the air.
I growled.
Then I stomped over to him and the bottle flung out his hands into the brick wall. He flinched.
“Get up Dad,” I yelled.
He waved his hand at me and laid down in the snow.
“Dad!” I yelled.
All the snow in the alley melted. I walked over to him and grabbed his torn and muddy linen button-down shirt at the collar. I lifted him off the ground and shoved him on the vodka-infested wall.
“Dad look at me!”
He tried to turn his head a few times. My frustration turned to anger and I slapped him.
“Look at me dammit! It’s me Marcus, your son.”
“Ahh,” he grunted.
He started to ramble about nothing.
It was just sounds no words.
I had no idea what to call a person when they’ve past the point of being drunk but Dad reached it.
“Dad you have a wife, three kids and a business to run. Your family is losing their minds and I’m not quitting college like you did to come back and take care of them while you roam the streets and make out with whatever alcoholic drink you can get your hands on.”
I threw him down on the ground and bent down to him.
“This is what I am going to do Dad. I am going to get the car and I am going to throw your drunk and smelly self in the back seat. I’m going to take you home, shower and feed you, while you sober up. You are going to talk to your family and together we are going to figure this thing out...and you are going to get yourself help—professional if needed.”
He nodded up and down, then laid back on the ground. I left to get the car. Drove back and parked it. I walked over to him, picked him up and took his shirt off. He had gotten smaller. It was clear the alcohol become his breakfast, lunch and dinner, with a few snacks in between. I took his shoes and socks off and left them in the alley, put him in the back seat and drove home.
I called Elias on the way so he could get a hot shower running and meet me outside to help out. Dad was passed out when I pulled up. I got out and woke him up. He was still slurring words and trying to figure out how he got to where he was and why he didn’t have the feeling of a bottle in his hands. I was relieved a little because he wasn’t a violent drunk.
Dad was never violent.
Elias helped me get Dad out the car and into the house. Mom held both hands over her mouth and her tears flowed like raindrops as we carried him into the house.
“I’m going to get him cleaned up Mom,” I said as we walked past her and into the bathroom. “Elias can you go get him some clean clothes?”
I spent the next thirty minutes scrubbing every crack and crevice of his body, every hair on his head and every space under his filthy fingernails. He was falling over, the drunkenness was so strong. I was practically showering with him. I got him dried off and clothed, then carried him to his room and laid him on the bed. I walked out to talk to Mom and Elias.
Mom rushed me and wrapped her frail arms that wouldn’t stop shaking around me. She kept thanking me for bringing Dad home. I told her that I shouldn’t have had to do that.
I was pissed.
Happy.
Thankful.
“Where was he?” she cried.
I sat her down on the couch. She cried uncontrollably. I calmed her down. Elias took Katie to her room and came back out.
“He was on the streets next to a bar downtown. He didn’t even know who I was Mom. I don’t know what to do. He’s lost so much weight. He needs to eat. He needs to get all that poison out of him and get lots of rest. Elias can you go order some pizza?” I handed him my phone and debit card.
I rubbed my forehead. “I can’t go back to school right now Mom.”
“You have to Marcus,” she said drying the tears from her eyes. “I need you to Marcus, you have done more than enough already. This is my problem I will take care of it from here.”
“What are you talking about Mom?” I grabbed her hands. “You guys are my family and whatever problems any of you go through, I go through. I don’t care that I’m away at college, my family comes first….always.”
“I love you so much Marcus.”
“I love you too Mom. Just let me help and don’t worry about me, I promise I can take of myself.”
“I got a cheese and a pepperoni,” Elias interjected. “Andddd an apple pie.”
“Who told you to get an apple pie?”
“I was craving something sweet.”
“I bet. Something sweet on my money.”
The pizza came and Elias and I didn’t waste any time. Mom stood in the doorway of her bedroom, watching Dad rest while nibbling on a slice. Mom had convinced me to go back to school and that she would take care of him. I told her that if for any reason she needed me back that I would be there in a flash.
I pulled Elias to the bedroom. He took a seat on his bed and I took a seat on mine. “You’re going to take care of everybody right?” I cautioned.
“I promise.”
“You know you can call me right? I want you to call me. I wanna know what you’re going through and what goes on around here. You can always call for advice or whatever else a big brother can help with. Now give me my card back punk.” He reached in his back pocket and gave it back to me.
I told Mom and Katie bye.
Dad was still passed out.
I walked outside and down the street until I disappeared from any houses, then took off into the sky.
I got back to my room and was ready for some well-needed rest. I took my clothes off, showered, got some clothes
ready for the morning, then did some homework. I sent a quick text to Monica and told her I was about to go to bed. I turned off all the lights and walked to my room until a knock at the door told me to try again.
“Who is it?” I said walking to the door.
“Sam,” he said.
I answered the door and Sam was standing there with Hudson behind him. I couldn’t see but I knew it was him by his huge tan shoulders that Sam’s body couldn’t hide. Sam walked in and Hudson stood there—bloody. His face had a cut under the eye. Either he had been in a terrible car accident or a brawl.
“Hudson what happen to you?”
“Dylan,” he replied.
Hudson walked inside and took a seat on the couch. I got some ice out the freezer, put it in a Ziploc bag and covered it with a towel. He put it up to his scared and discolored face that had anger written all over it.
“I don’t stand a chance against anybody without my sister,” Hudson growled.
“He’s right Marcus,” Sam confirmed.
Life was great right now.
This is EXACTLY how I pictured being nineteen when I was a kid—protecting everyone from everything.
“Guys I’m not even going to lie to you, I don’t have a clue of what to do.” I took a seat.
“We have to get his parents involved,” Hudson said. “This is only going to get worst and I’m not going to be his personal punching bag.”
“NO!” I dismissed the thought. “We can’t get his parents involved in it just yet. Both our families have so much going on right now, they don’t need this added stress and plus, you don’t know his dad.”
“So what do you suggest then?” Sam asked.