“You have no idea what you’re in for,” Holly said, shaking her head in vexation.
As far as Holly could tell, Jake was down-to-Earth, intelligent and a great conversationalist. She also discerned that he was a great listener, and very well mannered. Throughout the evening, Holly spoke openly about things that she was never comfortable enough to talk about with past test subjects. The more in depth their discussion got, the more Holly realized that Jake was an exceptionally interesting nerd with a heart-of-gold. Never once did she catch any strange vibes that had her questioning his motives. Jake was just a normal guy looking for love in all the wrong places.
“Whoa,” Jake said, glancing down at his watch. “I didn’t realize it was so late.”
“Oh. Should we get going?” Holly asked.
Jake stretched out his arms and yawned. “Yeah. I have to work early tomorrow. We have a bunch of new kids coming in.”
“Well then, I hope I’m not being too presumptuous when I say that this introduction went far beyond both our expectations.”
“And since we both feel the same, let me ask you this.” Jake leaned in close to Holly. “Would you like to go on a real date sometime?”
For the first time throughout this entire experiment, Holly was pleasantly caught off guard. “I think I would like that.”
Holly’s meeting with Jake got her wheels spinning. If she could make this newfound friendship go in the direction she desired, it was bound to make writing history.
May 28, 2013
Sparks101.com- I Teach Women How Men Think
10 Signs that He is not Interested
Class is now in session.
A man doesn’t necessarily have to express verbally that he’s not interested in you. Most of the time, his actions will speak louder than his words and yes, when feelings are not mutual, it can be a huge let down.
A majority of single women are clueless about the subtle hints that a man will give when he wants nothing more than to be friends.
# 1 Not Interested: He ignores your texts and phone calls- He doesn’t just flat out ignore you, he just happens to call and text when it’s absolutely necessary. This means there won’t be any incessant texting back and forth anytime soon. When a man is interested, he will go out of his way to get your attention. Even if he’s busy, he will try to make contact if he is interested. Straight to the point, if he wants you, he will let you know.
# 2 Not Interested: He never tries to make a move- So you get to the point where you’ve hung out with a guy you’ve been into for the longest time, and he’s been leaving you on the edge of your seat. You’re waiting for the moment when he’s going to make a move. You wait and wait—days—weeks—months. I hate to break it to you, but it’s never going to happen. Please don’t hold your breath. If you’re lucky, the most you will ever get out of this guy is a hug, which only means he wants your friendship. He will probably avoid physical contact with you as much as he can. He is not attracted to you in any other way and he doesn’t want you to get the wrong impression.
# 3 Not Interested: He always talks about himself- When a man is truly into a woman, he will ask her many questions. If he thinks she’s girlfriend material, he’s going to want to know everything about her. Then there are those men who like to talk strictly about themselves. This would be because he really doesn’t care what you have to say or what’s going on in your life. He might ask you how your day was and so forth. Then after you answer those questions, the conversation goes straight back to him. If you try to elaborate on something going on in your personal life, he seems bored and uninterested. You know what I say—move on.
# 4 Not Interested: He never asks you out on an official “date”- You’ve hung out with him numerous times—for coffee, a drink at a bar, but has he ever asked you out on a real date? I’m sure the answer to that is probably—no. This should automatically tell you that he likes paling around with you and he has never really thought of you more than anything but a friend. He has such a good time with you that it’s as though you are one of his very best guy friends. Oh, let’s not forget about the ones who try to avoid hanging out with you alone, the man who wants to hang out in groups or the one who doesn’t want to hang out at all.
# 5 Not Interested: You flirt with him and your intentions go way over his head- This type of guy is like trying to move a brick wall. You can try every trick in the book, but you are never going to win him over. He’ll never be interested in you, no matter what you try to do. When you put him on the spot, you will only make him feel uncomfortable. Usually if a guy wants to hook-up, he will take the bait—if he doesn’t then it should be your clue that it’s time to find someone else who is worthy of your time.
# 6 Not Interested: He curses in front of you- This is a Sparks101 deal breaker. Every man, at least before he gets into a relationship, should never curse in front of a woman. This is a total sign of disrespect. When a guy is really trying to impress a woman, he will be on his best behavior. Carelessly throwing the f-bomb at you or letting it slip, is pretty much a guarantee that he’s not worried about winning you over.
# 7 Not Interested: He occasionally flakes out on your plans- There you are, all ready to hang out and at the last minute you get a phone call from him. He’s calling to inform you that plans have changed, and you won’t be seeing each other that day. He’s done it on more than one occasion, so isn’t it obvious or are you that dense? If he were really interested in you, he wouldn’t be pulling these kind of stunts. You are partially to blame for his behavior because you’ve let him get away with it so many times before. The truth is, he’ll continue to treat you like shit just because he knows he can. I will say this though, in my experience, I have had a man go out of his way to try and redeem himself. Although, that didn’t necessarily mean he was doing it to show that he was interested in me. He just felt guilty.
# 8 Not interested: He reveals personal, not so flattering, information about himself- When a guy first opens up to you and lets all the skeletons out of his closet, that’s not something he’s going to reveal to a woman he has strong feelings for. It just means that he’s comfortable enough around you to tell you his personal secrets. More than likely, he thinks of you as his good friend, not someone he wants to get into a relationship with. Like it or not, get ready to know all his dirty laundry.
#9 Not Interested: He never wants to hang out longer than planned- Ah, the unmistakable clock-watcher. If he says he’ll hang out with you for an hour or two, that’s exactly what you are going to get—no more, maybe less. When your time is up, he’s out faster than lighting. Don’t bother trying to make him stay longer. He’ll come up with every excuse in the book not to stay. “I have work to do— I’m tired—I have to get up early.” Most of the time, he’s just bullshitting you. He has better things to do than hang around a girl that he’s not attracted to.
#10 Not Interested: You are in a crisis and he leaves you to fend for yourself- Take for example the time my friend was hanging out with a man she very much wanted to date exclusively. One night, she became slightly intoxicated after drinking with him for hours at a bar. By the time he wanted to leave, she was still a little buzzed and not able to drive home. Did he care that she might have gotten into her car and drove home drunk? Absolutely not. He said he had to go and took off—just left her there in the parking lot all by herself. That was the first time since meeting him that she knew that he didn’t give a rat’s ass about her. At first, she didn’t want to believe it. When a man was as attractive as he was, it was hard for her to pull away and move on.
Class dismissed.
Lesson 9
The next morning at the office, things started rather rapidly. From the get-go, Chris and Emma had been experiencing heavy call volume. Unfortunately, these calls consisted mainly of meddlesome people with the intention of getting Holly on the phone. This was as close to celebrity status Holly thought she was ever going to get.
By noon, things slowly started dying down. A f
ew new millionairesses had trickled in and out of the office and when things got quiet, Chris went home feeling as though he had come down with the flu.
“I know I ask you this expecting a different answer every time, but how did it go last night?” Emma asked Holly.
Holly sat at her desk, focusing on a couple of new male recruit headshots. “You can read about it on the blog.”
“It hasn’t been posted yet.” Emma stood up from her chair. “And I’d rather hear it from you anyway.”
Holly removed her eyeglasses and sighed in irritation. “He was decent, but totally nerdy. Some might say he’s cute, but he’s definitely not my type.”
“Well, you weren’t expecting to go on any dates with Mr. McDreamy, so what are you complaining about?”
“I know and I’ll give him credit—he was a lot better than half the guys I’ve been out with thus far.”
Emma seated herself on top of Holly’s desk. “So does that mean you are going to see him again?”
Holly shrugged, deeming the question trivial. It really made no difference to her whether she did or didn’t. “Yes. He did happen to ask me out again.”
“And?” Emma asked as her eyes probed Holly for answers.
“It might happen,” Holly replied. “We just haven’t set anything up yet.”
“Oooooh—sounds like he might have potential.”
With a huff, Holly said, “Listen, don’t get so involved in this whole charade, okay? I’m just in this race for what’s at the finish line.”
“Oh, yes—that proverbial carrot dangling in front of you.”
“One million of them.”
“By the way—” Emma hopped off the desk and made her way to a pile of mail. “A special delivery came for you,” she said, handing Holly a small baby-blue envelope.
Holly glanced at the return address. “Wasn’t Jessica Garman the one who swore up and down that we would never find her a match?”
“Then last year we set her up with Bryan Mills.”
“They hit it off and I never heard from them again.” Holly paused. “No way—this isn’t—is it?”
“Just open it.”
Holly methodically tore open the envelope and pulled out a blue and white card that read: You are invited to the wedding ceremony of Jessica Cynthia Garman and Bryan Kenneth Mills.
“Yay! I knew it.” Emma jumped up and down in delight. “She was like one of the toughest nuts to crack. Who would have thought that it would only take a year?”
“And she was so jaded when we first met her.”
Jessica Garman was a young, petite, raven-haired, lawyer from Chicago. When Jessica first came to Holly, she had just finalized a divorce from her husband of five-years, whom she had caught cheating on her. A friend had referred Jessica to Quality not Quantity, with the intention of trying to get her out in the dating field again. When Jessica enlisted in the club, she came with a seriously broken heart, although she always put on a smile and did her best to appear as if she was doing fine. Holly sensed the woman’s spirit was heavy with hurt and anger. Jessica also bared major trust issues and vowed never to marry again. It seemed to Holly that with Jessica’s frame of mind, being a member of the club was contradictory. The whole point as to why millionairesses signed up with the club was for the intention of finding true love. Holly wasn’t too keen on working with someone so damaged and closed-minded.
Every man Jessica was introduced to during the first few months wasn’t good enough by her standards. Just when Holly was about to throw in the towel, she presented her with a recruit named Bryan Mills. He was a construction worker, one of those men who looked like he worked on a crew and moved heavy machinery by hand. He had burly shoulders, black-hair, sparkling brown eyes, along with a ' stache and goatee. Holly never imaged that Bryan would be anywhere near Jessica’s type. Her history proved that she was used to dating sophisticated and well-educated men, but the moment Jessica met Bryan, her whole world changed. The two ended up having a lot in common. Bryan had recently divorced after catching his very young wife in an affair. On the down side, he did bring with him a young daughter, which at first Jessica was apprehensive about.
The two fell in love with the help of Holly’s magical matchmaking powers. Six-months after they were officially set up, they considered their relationship serious and dropped out of the club. Holly rarely heard from Jessica after that point.
Emma gave Holly a high-five. “Another job well done.”
“I’m really happy for her. Bryan is a good guy.”
“So when’s the big day?”
Holly glanced at the card and said, “This weekend. I must have been a last minute invite.”
“Oh!” Emma’s eyes went as big as half dollars. “You should totally take the new guy.”
“Yeah right.” Holly found Emma’s suggestion ridiculous. “And blow my cover? I don’t think so.”
“So you’re going alone?” Emma asked, shaking her head in disapproval. “Holly Sparks, CEO and matchmaker going solo to a wedding? Good God—what will people think?”
The question left an unsettling feeling in the pit of Holly’s stomach. “Of course, I’m not going alone. I’ll bring Todd of course.”
“Yeah. How could I forget? Everyone knows you’re the infamous fag hag.”
“Hey! Be nice.” Holly swatted Emma’s arm with a file folder. “I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. And Todd is a good enough date as any.”
***
Jessica’s wedding took place at the waterfront Marriot Hotel in Marina Del Rey. The ceremony was on the rooftop with hundreds of guests in attendance. The scenery was breath taking with the beautiful marina, coastline, mountain and city views.
If Holly hadn’t known better, she would have believed that Todd almost looked straight in his three-piece suit. Many attractive female guests eyed Todd like hungry carnivorous birds, ready at any second to peck at his flesh and gnaw on his bones. Of course, Todd paid no attention to this. He was too busy checking out the males.
Holly hadn’t seen Jessica until the minute she sauntered down the aisle in an exquisite silk gown with a sweetheart neckline. She looked radiant and Bryan was nearly glowing when he saw her approaching.
The reception was just as elaborate and glamorous as the ceremony, the ballroom bathed in candlelight.
Holly tried to enjoy herself despite all the romantic stuff happening around her. The interesting conversations going on with the guests at her table helped to take her mind off her own worries.
In the middle of dinner, Jessica stood up with a microphone in hand. “Before we do speeches, I wanted to recognize a special guest here tonight. Believe me when I say that if it wasn’t for this person, Bryan and I would have never met. Would you all give a huge around of applause for Miss Holly Sparks… who’s sitting at table seven.”
Everyone turned around and applauded Holly as if she had just discovered the cure for cancer. Holly just froze, unsure of how to react to this sudden announcement.
“Holly, will you come up here and speak for a moment?” Jessica asked. “Bryan and I owe you so much.”
“Wow, girl.” Todd nudged her in the side. “You’re being honored—go.”
In a nervous stupor, Holly stood up from her seat and said, “Nah. You don’t owe me anything. You paid in full, remember?”
The guests chuckled as if they had been cued do to so.
Speaking in front of a bunch of strangers was harmless—nerve-racking, but harmless. At least she’d be able to show off the navy blue Versace dress she happened to purchase the day before the wedding.
Holly approached the head-table and Jessica graciously handed her the microphone. “Please bear with me.” Holly flashed the audience an uneasy little smile. “I wasn’t expecting to make a speech tonight.” She paused to gather her words before she turned to the couple and said, “Well, what can I say—Bryan and Jessica are a match made in Holly heaven.”
Once again, she had the crowd snickering ami
ably.
“I wish you two all the best. As a matchmaker, I can only hope to be in your shoes, maybe, one day.”
Jessica moved her mouth close to the microphone and said, “She just recently broke up with her boyfriend.”
The guests moaned a momentary sigh of despondency, which nearly made Holly red in the cheeks.
Holly shrugged it off as though it was no big deal. “Hey, even matchmakers make mistakes sometimes.” She lifted her champagne glass and announced, “So I’d like to make a toast. To Jessica and Bryan—may they have a lifetime of wedded bliss.” Holly took a large gulp of her champagne—the alcohol burned like fire on her breath.
The guests clapped in approval and Holly finally felt it safe to make her way back to her table. The moment she sat back down, a large middle-aged woman with steel-gray hair and a prominent mole on her cheek, gently touched her arm.
“You’re Holly Sparks? The one who writes the blog?” the woman asked, smiling like some creepy reptile.
Holly really wasn’t too keen on this whole being recognized matter. Keeping her identity discrete was becoming harder with the increasing popularity of the blog. She would have to find a way to ensure that this didn’t happen at the wrong place or the wrong time, but for now, she digressed. “Oh yes, guilty.”
She shook Holly’s hand as if it was on fire. “I am such a huge fan. It’s an honor to meet you.”
“Oh—now admirers,” Todd whispered giddily into Holly’s ear.
Holly listened to this lady go on for the next hour about how she read Holly’s blog religiously every day, and how it gave her some sort of deliverance from the doldrums of her life. All Holly could really do was smile and nod, smile and nod. The woman talked like her mouth was running out of time. It wasn’t until the bride and groom had their first dance that this woman finally excused herself to go mingle with guests. Although Holly could breathe again, a feeling as though she didn’t belong at this event besieged her. Todd had decided to socialize with other guests and left her to her lonesome self. Holly’s despondency was short lived when he came skipping back to the table like a show horse. By the elated smile on his face, she would have guessed that he had suddenly been transported to Gay Man’s Land
The Experiment Page 17