The main course was served and Todd acted as though he had spent all day slaving away in the kitchen.
“I must say—” Blake dabbed his lips with a white cloth napkin. “Todd, you prepared and flavored this fried fish almost identically to the one at Joel’s Seafood Pub in Santa Monica. Have you ever been there?”
Todd gulped like a goldfish and said, “No. This is my grandmother’s recipe.”
“Well, it’s really delightful.” Blake took another stab at his fish and chewed rather sensually. “Mmm—I’m impressed.”
Holly popped a skinny fry into her mouth to prevent herself from giggling. “Todd is just full of surprises.”
“I know,” Blake took Todd’s hand from across the table, “that’s why I love him so.”
“Oh stop.” Todd looked away as his face turned a pale pink.
“Excuse me for a moment. I have to use the little boy’s room,” Blake said.
As soon as he was out of view, Todd whispered, “So…what do you think?”
Before Holly could give him an answer, her cell phone rang. “Hold that thought for a second.” Jake was calling. “Hey there, what’s up?”
“Darlene—” Jakes breathing was heavy and erratic. “I really need your help.”
In alarm, Holly asked, “What happened? Is everything all right?”
“The city is threatening to shut down the group home.”
September 15, 2013
Sparks101.com- I Teach Women How Men Think
How to behave when meeting your girlfriend/boyfriend’s parents
Class is now in session.
So you’ve made it to the most critical step in your relationship: meeting the parents. Consider yourself lucky. These days, most relationships don’t make it this far. If you’ve never gotten to this point, there are just a few guidelines you should follow to ensure that everything goes smoothly. Meeting the parents can make or break you. A majority of sons and daughters will consider their parent’s criticism, so my philosophy on making this meeting successful would be to keep it simple.
Dress Appropriately: It’s a matter of respect. Unless your boyfriend/girlfriend’s parents are hippies, it’s best to dress to impress. Ladies, do not dress in anything too skimpy. For example, there is no need for your boobs to be hanging out of your dress. Your boyfriend’s parents don’t care how proud you are of your cleavage. This only gives off the impression that you have no class. Oh and by the way, if you’re going to wear jeans, make sure they fit. The ‘rents have no interest in seeing your hot pink thong or your ass crack when you bend over. Trashy! Guys, don’t even think about wearing holy jeans or that old t-shirt. You best shave before you go as well. Don’t dress as if you’re going to the beach either.
Keep the Conversation and Behavior Appropriate: If the f-bomb slips out even once, there is a high chance you will be kissing your relationship goodbye. Also, don’t overdo it with the booze and let yourself get sloppy. You are supposed to be on your best manners, so put on your best act if you can.
Don’t Show up Empty Handed: You don’t have to bring a gift or anything expensive, of course, that’s not to be expected. What is appropriate to bring to a family function might be a bottle of wine or anything edible. If your boyfriend/girlfriend insists that you don’t bring anything, do it anyway.
Lend a Helping Hand: Before and after a get together, ask if there is anything you can do to help. Usually your help won’t be needed, but it’s always nice to ask. This shows that you have some manners.
Be a Little Mysterious: You should behave the same way as you did on the first date. The one thing you don’t want to do is reveal too much too soon. Try to keep the conversation simple by only talking about things that are interesting and impressive. Do not tell your boyfriend/girlfriend’s parents how you were an alcoholic or drug abuser way back in the day, no matter how proud you are of redeeming yourself. This will only wave red flags. Stick to neutral topics and it’s best only to open up about yourself when the questions arise.
Don’t get Cocky: Don’t think you’re the funny guy/girl by telling embarrassing or inappropriate stories about your girlfriend/boyfriend in front of their parents. Skip the dirty and racist jokes as well. You don’t know them, so you don’t know how they are going to react. You might find it humorous at that moment, but later on, you’re going to pay for it. Once again, if you are going to tell stories or be a wise guy, make sure they are appropriate in nature
Class dismissed.
Lesson 12
The city was threating to revoke Jake’s business license and shut down the group home if he did not comply and catch up on delinquent property taxes. The city had been warning Jake for months and only now was the city making good on their word. If he didn’t come up with a quick fix solution, everything he had worked so hard for over the last ten-years would be history. That’s when Jake swallowed his pride and called Darlene, with the intention of putting her magnificent writing skills to good use. From what he knew about her so far, Darlene had a way of influencing people through her words. All Jake needed her to do was write an article about how important the group home was to the community and publish it. God only knew that these poor children would be thrown into the system if the group home went under. Yes, this was his desperate plea to get people to donate what they could before midnight on Monday.
After Jake proposed his plan of action, Darlene made it known that she had better tactics than just a meaningless public plea. This somewhat eased his frustrations. Darlene said that the solution was as simple as setting up a yard sale that Saturday at the group home. She would take care of all the details and figure out a game plan by the end of the week. Little did Jake know how resourceful Darlene was when it came to dealing with time constraints.
***
In order to prepare for what was coming, Holly took it upon herself to show up at the group home before the yard sale started.
“Thanks for coming so early. I really appreciate the help,” Jake said to Holly as he hauled an old tube television to the front lawn. A couple of teenage boys were trailing behind him, carrying large cardboard boxes.
The day was definitely going to take some team effort and luckily, many of the kids were willing to help.
“I’m praying this whole thing works out,” Jake mentioned. “This would be a lot of effort for nothing.”
Holly laid out a dozen or so DVD movies on a card table and replied, “Hey! Only positive thoughts, please.” She was secretly having the same feelings as Jake. She could only hope that things would turn out as planned.
“So you posted the ad online and plastered it all around the city right?” he asked.
“Done and done.” Actually, she went above and beyond, but only time would tell if her efforts would pay off.
Holly looked around at all the junk strewn around the lawn. Surrounding her were bicycles, toys, books, clothes, broken down appliances, things that she was sure no one would ever want to buy.
“Jake, can I ask you something personal?” Holly emptied out a box of video games. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
He was in the middle of fixing a broken bicycle chain. “Sure. What's up?”
“How did you let this whole situation happen in the first place?”
Jake took off his glasses and wiped the sweat from his brow. A streak of black grease had spread across his forehead like Indian war paint. “Honestly, you wouldn't believe all the ridiculous red tape I have to go through every month to keep this place running. Between the government and stupid city fees, it’s so overwhelming that it’s easy to fall behind, especially when the home is non-profit.”
“So how are things going to change once you get caught up? How is this not going to happen again?” Holly didn’t want to pry into his personal issues, but it couldn’t be helped. It was in her nature to interrogate. As a matchmaker, she had to get down to the source of the problem and fix the glitch before it spun out of control like a derailed rolle
rcoaster.
“I've got to do things differently that’s for sure,” he answered. “Starting by hiring someone to handle the finances.”
By seven that morning, the yard sale was ready for business. Things started to look grim after a half hour had passed and still no one had shown up. That’s when Holly’s worries began to kick in. The kids, Jake, and Martha, stood around watching for cars like vultures waiting for their prey. Holly glanced at her watch every thirty seconds, as though doing so would change the situation.
Jake threw his hands up in defeat. “Well, it looks like we’re doomed.”
“It’s only been thirty-minutes, Jake. Just be patient a little longer,” Holly replied. “People will be swarming this place in no time.”
With the morning as still as it was dark, the neighborhood felt devoid of life. A hushed silenced seemed to have fallen over the entire street. Presumably, people were still sound asleep. Just when all hope seemed lost, a silver BMW made its way toward the group home at approximately seven-fifty.
“Oh, well we all know it will be a cold day in hell before that person stops here.” Martha guffawed. She was dressed appropriately that morning in blue jeans and an old Looney Tunes t-shirt that had been washed so many times that Tweety was no longer distinguishable. “When we see the first bucket of rust—then we are in business.”
“Hmm…I don’t know. You might actually be surprised,” Holly said.
Everyone watched with a growing sense of urgency as the BMW got closer to the house. The vehicle finally stalled beside the curb of the group home with its engine purring like a kitten. The moment of truth would be if someone actually got out of the car. Chances were that the person would take one look at all the worthless crap spread across the lawn and end up driving away.
The BMW’s ignition cut and out popped a familiar woman dressed in a red Gucci dress and Jackie-O style shades.
“Excuse me. Is this the McCluskey Group Home?” she asked Jake.
“Yes,” he answered, initially confused. What kind of women dressed like that would even think twice about coming here, he thought.
“Oh, good. Then I have the right place.”
Marilyn McLaughlin: Forty-two. Net worth: 13 million. Her husband had died in a plane crash three-years ago.
“Darlene—darling.” Marilyn kissed Holly on both cheeks.
“Glad you could make it,” Holly answered.
“I never pass up a good bargain. You never know what kind of treasures might be found,” Marilyn mentioned as she began to browse.
About ten-minutes later, another slew of luxury vehicles pulled up beside the curb.
Anna Bain: Thirty-two. Owner of Bain Winery in Napa Valley, California. Net worth: Nine million
Jeanne Duffy—fifty-five: Self-made millionairess. Net worth: 17 million
Brenda Farnsworth—thirty-seven: Real estate broker. Net worth: 3 million
Lynn Gallagher—twenty-nine: Day trader. Net worth: 8.5 million.
That morning, millionairesses showed up to the yard sale like flocks of geese, some even with their families and guests. Holly had called everything into action only a few days before hand, summoning a meeting with some of her most affluent millionairesses. These particular women never passed up assisting in a good cause, even if they knew that most of the items would be worthless junk.
Forty-something year old Jan Kelly, who had eyes that were as green as early spring grass, handed Jake three one-hundred dollar bills for a set of chipped, china dishes. Jake felt slightly guilty about taking her money when he knew those dishes weren’t even worth a quarter of what she had just paid.
“Oh, you are so precious,” said Lisa Rinaldi. She pinched the cheek of a spunky ten-year old kid named Jared. She was a financial planner originally from Houston, Texas who helped the wealthy invest their money wisely. “How much is he?”
“Um—not for sale,” Martha responded quite quickly. “But you always have the option of adopting.”
“Hmm…” Lisa winked at the boy. “Tempting.”
Sharon Hansen, a thirty-nine year old stockbroker from Beverly Hills, bought seventeen paperback books and willing paid one-hundred-fifty dollars for the transaction without thinking twice.
Jake approached Holly as she was accepting seventy-five dollars for a pair of vintage roller-skates. “Baby, where did you find all these rich women?”
Holly shrugged as though this was an easy everyday routine. “I have my ways.”
“Well, your ways just might save this place.” Jake softly kissed her lips and whispered, “Thank you. You know I’m going to have to repay you for all this.”
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her lips against the shadowed hollow of his neck. “You don’t owe me a thing.”
“Oh barf!” commented Julie, an eight-year old blonde who was once abandoned and left for dead by her drug addicted father.
Jake broke from Holly’s embrace. “I’ll think of some way to make it up to you,” he said with a sneaky smile.
A countless number of women showed up throughout the morning. A few arrived in fancy sweats with the words Juicy or Sexy spread across their butt or chest. Five-hundred dollars was just a drop in the bucket to these women. Eventually people from the neighborhood took notice and got involved. The front of the group home began to look like some runway fashion show.
The yard sale turned out to be a huge success. Nearly every single item was sold by the end of the afternoon. Jake had made enough money to keep the property running.
Later that day, Jake and Holly lounged on the chairs in the backyard, celebrating a job well done. The two sipped on sweet tea and enjoyed homemade turkey sandwiches that Martha had prepared for lunch.
Jake was bursting with excitement, bubbling over what had just taken place. “I just can't get over it. It’s like some miracle happened today.”
“What’s not to believe?” Holly asked, proud of herself. “You pulled it off. That’s all that matters.”
“You mean we pulled it off.” Jake took a large gulp of tea from his glass. “The fact that you could convince these extremely wealthy women to even bother looking at all that pile of shit on my lawn just blows my mind.”
“Ah, it was nothing.” Holly stared off into the vast backyard, which was riddled with playground equipment: a jungle gym, slide, swings, some teeter-totters, and a tetherball pole.
“I'm so blessed to have you in my life,” Jake said, looking at her as if she was some great treasure and nothing else in the world mattered to him but her. In his heart, he thought himself the most fortunate man even to know her. “Seriously, where did you come from?”
Holly swallowed down a lump of guilt forming in her throat. A dating website that is paying me to date you, her head said. “Oh you know—LA,” she kidded.
“It’s funny. People have told me horror stories about dating websites to the point where I was too terrified to try. Now that I’ve met you, I think they have it all wrong. You might be the best thing that's ever happened to me.”
Dr. Adams had warned Holly about this part, the part about someone getting in deep. Jake had strong feelings for her; there was no question about it. It poured out of him every time he spoke. Holly had admittedly grown attached to him. She felt something with Jake that she never knew she craved: Security—but she had to set those feelings aside and keep her eyes on the prize. Amid her doubts, Jake pressed her fingers against his mouth and kissed them one by one. She felt a responsive tingle run all the way up her arm. It was almost as though his mouth stole pieces of her soul every time his lips touched her skin. For a geek, he sure was an amazing kisser and she often fantasized about what kind of lover he would be. Such naughty thoughts that she knew she shouldn’t be having. It’s been said that when a man can kiss well, he is usually good at many other things— physically. For a brief, dizzying moment, she thought about pulling him in and just kissing him for an endless amount of time.
Holly snapped out of her daze and released
her hand from his grip. “Wow. Okay—”
“What's wrong?” Jake asked, caught off guard by her abrupt apprehension.
“Oh… nothing.” Holly smiled uneasily and stood up. “I just remembered there is somewhere I have to be.”
“Right this minute?”
Holly tried to pull herself together. A noise in her head had drowned out everything except the thumping sound of her rapidly beating heart. “Yeah. I have an appointment. I'll call you okay?” She delivered him a quick kiss on the lips.
“All right then. Thanks again for everything,” Jake said, disappointed by her rapid departure.
***
That Monday at the office, Holly tried to cool her heels, but it was useless when all she could think about was Jake.
“So I heard the yard sale was a huge success,” Emma said, taking a seat on top of Holly’s desk. Her pregnant belly was as around as an Earth globe.
Holly sat down and replied, “That's an understatement if I ever heard one.”
Emma giggled like a twelve-year old girl who had just heard a dirty joke. “Once again, it was Holly to the rescue, aye?”
Before Holly could comment, Chris approached the two of them and announced, “Hey, Holly. You have a visitor.”
“Who is it? Please don't let it be someone I despise,” Holly replied. “I'm so not in the mood today.”
Chris grinned. “Oh, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
The three of them walked to the front of the office to welcome their visitor. Holly’s heart fluttered like a wild bird when she caught a glimpse of him standing in the doorway. Emma nearly forgot how to breathe. Whenever he made an unexpected, rare appearance at the office, Emma headed straight to la-la land.
The Experiment Page 23