What was he thinking? Had their time apart given him a chance to reconsider too? What if he changed his mind? Doubts like acid melted away logic and common sense.
Because it was like meeting a stranger and then being shocked by how quickly you can grow to need someone you barely know and don’t know if you can trust.
The only way you could keep reassuring yourself was with constant proximity.
Touching the other person often.
Making love, turning it into a mating frenzy.
Witnessing the truth in their own mating frenzy.
Talking together for hours about how to handle the overwhelming, life-changing experience you were both going through.
The precious newborn cord between her and Oberon felt broken, but it couldn’t be, could it?
Finally, the city came into view. Several minutes later, she landed in the courtyard in front of the palace and shapeshifted. The world spun, and her legs buckled.
Exclamations came from nearby. She turned her head toward them, working to focus her eyes, and the world spun again. Well, fuck. That was inconvenient.
Someone bent over her, blocking out the sun. “Oh, dear lady, are you hurt?” A woman’s voice.
“I should’ve showered and eaten,” she said. Her tongue felt too thick, and the words kept slurring. Frustrated, she tried them again. “Should have. Should. Have. Goddammit.”
Then strong arms came around her. Picking her up, Owen said, “Welcome back, your grace. I’m so sorry you’re feeling poorly.” He raised his voice in a shout. “Get his majesty!”
That made her lift her head. “He’s here?”
“Yes, your grace,” Owen told her as he carried her rapidly up the palace steps. “He and Robin arrived a few hours ago—”
A boiling hurricane exploded out of the palace front doors. Oberon roared, “What did you do?—Kathryn!”
She cringed from the noise. Suddenly he loomed right beside them, and with tense, gentle care he took her from Owen.
“You’re heavy lifting,” she reminded him.
“The. Fuck. I. Am.” His quietly spoken words came out with the force of bullets. “We haven’t seen each other for a few fucking days—how the fuck did you drop so much weight?”
“I should’ve–sh-should have showered and eaten,” she told him. “But I couldn’t stop. When I crossed over to Earth, I got too far away from you. There was this crazy animal in my head, clawing to get back. I couldn’t stop to eat. I just had to get back as fast as I could.”
“You flew all that way—twice—without eating? I don’t even want to talk to you right now.” His growl sounded low and vicious even as he cradled her close and ran up the stairs.
Someone kept pace with him. Owen was still with them. Oberon rattled off orders for food and fresh clothes, and Owen swung away and disappeared.
As Oberon approached the doors to the King’s apartment, the waiting guard opened them, Oberon strode inside, and they shut again discreetly. “You crossed over to Earth without telling or asking me—”
The world was beginning to stop spinning. “That’s not true—I wrote you a letter. I’m so thirsty.” Her nose wrinkled. “And gods, I stink.”
“You really do,” he said. “And you look like shit. You’re not making a whole lot of sense either.”
In his bathing room, he set her on the fancy carved bench beside the clean towels, and he went to open the flue to let water gush in. Now there were two clean robes on the bench instead of one, she noticed, and soaps that smelled pleasantly like jasmine and lavender had been placed beside the cedar-and-citrus soap.
She struggled to get out of her clothes. Her arms felt like rubber. After a moment he knelt in front of her to help. His face was tight. He was so furious.
Once she had her clothes off, she went to the sink and turned the lever. It wasn’t like the sinks she was used to. The lever pulled up a metal slide, and water from an open pipe gushed in.
She stuck her head all the way under it, and the shock of cold helped to clear the last of the dizziness and confusion. Drinking until she couldn’t hold any more, she came up gasping for air.
He had kept one hand on her bare hip the whole time, presumably to keep her from collapsing again. When she finished, he was waiting with a towel and wrapped it around her, tucking the ends into her hands so she could hold it herself.
She met the lion’s hot golden-black gaze. Paradoxically, she felt better than she had in days. “Spit it out.”
He laughed, and that was really a growl too. Then his hard hands clamped on her shoulders, and he hissed, “You went to Earth without me!”
“Well, yes…” She blinked and frowned. Maybe she was still more confused than she realized. “And now I’m back again?” Without her conscious volition, her voice trailed upward, turning it into a question. “Could you sense when I was gone?”
If anything, that fanned the flames of his rage higher.
“NO!” he shouted. She could feel each of his fingers separately as they dug into the soft flesh of her upper arms. “I just found out a few hours ago when we returned! We met Annwyn’s party, and then Robin and I pushed as hard as we could to get back—I pushed him to transport me the last of the way here, and even though he wasn’t ready to, he did. And you weren’t even here. You left me a fucking letter and went to fucking Earth, where anything could have happened to you. And if it had, I wouldn’t have known. You could have disappeared. And I wouldn’t. Have. Known.”
Ah. She began to get an inkling of why he was so angry.
“How long were you there?” he demanded. Possessive jealousy burned hot in his eyes.
Her cold, wet head was starting to make her shiver. Just as she became aware of it, he flung a warming spell at the gigantic bathing tub and gave her a rough nudge toward it. She complied, dropping the towel and letting herself topple in.
Blissful, blissful warmth. The water closed over her head, and then she bobbed to the surface. She told him, “I’m not sure. Maybe I was there a half an hour? They wanted me to slow down, shower, and eat something—they said, and rightly so, that I had all the time in the world on that side of the passageway, but Oberon, a part of me was in this perpetual panic.” She waved the fingers of both hands at her head. “I had all these crazy thoughts running through my head—I’d traveled too far away from you, and you were going to change your mind about us, I just knew it.”
He stripped off his own clothes with angry movements as he listened, and once he was nude, he grabbed a couple of bowls of the scented soap to set at the side of the tub. Every part of him was beautiful. His masculine frame was long and broad enough that they carried the heavy muscles with what looked like weightless, catlike grace.
Then he dove in and joined her.
“I’m glad it was so hard for you,” he said flatly, swiping his wet black hair back from his face.
“Now you’re just being mean.” Swimming over to him, she cuddled against his torso, and they both groaned as they came skin to skin.
“I feel mean.” Hooking an arm around her neck, he glared into her eyes. “Did you pause to reconsider?”
“I’m never going to lie to you.” She met his gaze steadily. “I did some quick soul-searching. I think that’s part of why I felt so panicked afterward.” His breath shook out, as if she had physically struck him. As gently as she knew how, she added, “I’m not sorry, and I didn’t do it because of anything you did—I did it for my sake. This is the most extreme life decision I’ve ever faced, and I didn’t want to be second-guessing myself later when it would be too late to do anything about it. And as hard as it must be for you to hear, I’m not sorry about telling you now. I want you to know you can rely on me for having made my choice.”
She watched as he closed his eyes and absorbed the blow. Then he growled, “You will never, ever do that again. You will never make such a drastic trip without talking to me first. You never use a crossover passageway without me. You never go someplace where I d
on’t know where you are, or if you’re safe or in danger—or if you’re even alive.”
Gently she rested her fingers against his mouth.
He stopped, looked at her again, and said with a quiet edge, “You should not look so peaceful when I’m yelling at you.”
“You can yell at me all you need,” she told him. “I didn’t know the trip was going to hit me that hard. When I started out it was a simple, easy plan—I was going to cross over to tell them we needed large shipments of food as quickly as they could get it to us. I would make sure they had the money to cover it, and then I would be back. It didn’t make sense to wait for you when Robin had to recover and so many people were arriving and there was a food shortage happening right now. So this was something I thought I could do for everyone. I didn’t make the trip so I could reconsider everything, and I didn’t know I was going to panic. All that just happened.”
“You’re not going to disarm me with your naivete and altruistic motives,” he growled. “There’s no room for misunderstanding right now. I need you to spell everything out.”
The beginnings of a smile trembled at the corners of her lips. “You know how to nurse a grudge, don’t you?”
“I really do,” said the King of the Daoine Sidhe. “And I know how to keep a war going for years on end. Give me what I want, Kathryn.”
Opening her eyes, she gave him a direct look. “Don’t ever let yourself doubt me. I am really, truly wholeheartedly here—because I want to be. I will never make a decision like that again without talking things over with you first. I’m never going to use a crossover passageway without you again. I’m never going to disappear so that you have no clue whether I’m safe or in danger or if I’m even alive.”
“And you will eat regular meals, gods damn it,” he said. “This weight loss is for shit. You will let me keep you safe.”
“I will let you keep me safe,” she agreed. Twisting so that she came face-to-face with him, she wrapped her legs around his waist and hugged him with her whole body. “And you will let me keep you safe too. You are still my chosen mate, Oberon, and I really missed you.”
At that, the last of his anger bled away. Cradling her close, he kissed her.
That was setting a lit match to tinder that had been dry for days. They ate at each other, tongues dueling as they desperately worked to deepen the kiss. He was so damn slippery and hot. Every tight, rock-hard muscle she rubbed against made her hunger spiral higher. She sucked at his earlobe, his neck, while his hard hands roamed everywhere.
It wasn’t comfortable. Maybe someday they would achieve the easy, comfortable kind of lovemaking that could happen on a lazy winter afternoon, but right now they were far from that. This was too elemental.
He lifted her to the water’s edge and pushed her back, so he could come between her legs to lick and explore every part of her. He knew just what to do with that clitoris of hers, and it was so extremely pleasurable she nearly leaped out of her skin with every jolt.
She wanted to relax, but she was too wound up and couldn’t take it. Pushing him away, she slid underwater and down to caress and lick his cock, one hand braced against his thigh.
Grasping her by the hair, he pumped into her mouth, short, shallow jabs that indicated his own urgency, but it wasn’t a position either of them could hold for long. After a moment he pulled out and urged her to the surface.
“No,” he said. “Not like that, not this time.”
“Then how?” she asked, stroking his cheek.
“Face-to-face,” he whispered. “I want to look into your eyes when I come.”
“I want that too.”
In response, he picked her up in his arms and used the steps to walk out of the bathing tub. He carried her so easily, this time she didn’t even bother to bitch at him about the heavy lifting.
When he reached the great bed, he let her legs slide to the floor as he yanked back the bedcovers and tumbled down with her, and their urgency shifted into coupling. Using two fingers, he eased into her passage, stroking out the evidence of her arousal and preparing her for him.
She twisted under his attentions, burning up as if she had a fever. She loved it when he worked her. With little nips along his bicep and pectoral, she took his erection in her hand and pumped it.
She wasn’t the only one who felt feverish. Heat poured off his tight body. He pushed his hips to the rhythm she made with her head, until finally, with a muttered curse, he pulled away and spread her legs wide to enter her. From that point on, they shot even further out of control. The animal that lived in her, the one that had panicked so badly when she had gotten too far away from him, clawed and cried out to him.
And his animal answered, pinning her down, thrusting harder and deeper until he pistoned with such a relentless, driving force that when she climaxed, it shot through her with the force of a bullet. More climaxes came, each one higher than the one before, until they were almost unendurable.
The extreme ecstasy would have been a terrible, lonely thing to experience on her own, but he was right there with her—his back arching with each spurting gush. She adored watching him lose control. They pushed each other on until they simply couldn’t go any further, coconspirators to the end.
Afterward, they lay entwined. The sheets were damp. She thought about suggesting they move into the Queen’s bedroom, where the bed would be dry. A giant yawn cracked her jaw. Maybe she would in a little bit.
Oberon shifted to rest his head on her shoulder. With an exhausted sigh, he pressed his lips to her shoulder and muttered, “God, I’m finally home.”
He’d already been back at the palace all day.
Warmth spread through her as she realized he meant her. Then she realized something else. Even at his angriest, even when she had hurt him the most, he had taken such great care with her. Holding her, paying attention to every detail, seeing to her needs. He knew exactly how strong he was and how to rein that in and control it when it mattered.
They wouldn’t always get it right. They had each made some pretty big mistakes already, but that was the moment she knew everything was going to work out beyond anything she could have hoped for.
He had a heart as big as it was wide, her lion. As big as Lyonesse. No wonder his people adored him.
No wonder she did.
She would always remember this exact moment, when she lay warm and easy and close to sleep as she fell in love weightlessly with her mate.
Epilogue
Three months later.
The lion lounged in the sun at the top of the cliff, soaking in the afternoon warmth as he looked out over his city. The rebuilding was going very well. They still had a lot of work to do before winter came again, but he was confident now that they would manage to finish the most urgent repairs before the first frost.
Most importantly, they had a plentiful supply of food until they could generate enough on their own. After he had cast daily spells to make adjustments to the weather where they were needed, conditions had stabilized, and healthy crops grew in the farmers’ fields throughout Lyonesse.
For almost everybody in his demesne, the worst of the crisis was over.
He was very aware of the woman who climbed the path toward him. Anticipation thrummed through his body, light and golden like salveri wine.
As Kathryn grew near, she said with a smile, “You look comfortable.”
I am. He blinked at her lazily. How was your session?
She assumed her doctorly give-nothing-away expression. “It was fine.” He growled so softly it was nearly inaudible, and she tapped him on the nose. “Stop that. No matter how many times you ask, I’m not going to talk about it.”
Suppressing a sigh, he replied, I do understand, but all I ever want to know is if I should be concerned about him and do something to help.
Amber eyes narrowed as she looked out over the water, she paused a little too long for his liking. Then she told him carefully, “It’s only been a few months, but I don’t think s
o. I will tell you this much—Robin’s no longer giving me the silent treatment. He has started talking, and even though it’s difficult for him, that’s a very good sign. He’s trusting me, and he’s no longer keeping everything bottled up inside—he’s letting the poison out.”
He relaxed again. I’m glad to hear it. Thank you.
“You’re welcome.” She threw herself down beside him and burrowed into his mane. “Mmm, you’re all yummy and warm. Why did you want to meet up here?”
The temptation was too much to resist, and as he shapeshifted, he slipped his arms around her. “Because you and I never get enough time to ourselves. I had the kitchen pack a picnic. It’s waiting in the shade behind us.”
“What a thoughtful idea—thank you,” she said. “I’m famished.”
“So am I.” He kissed her swiftly and then stood to pull her to her feet. “Come on.”
As he led her to the picnic, he watched her face light with pleasure as she took in the charming scene. He had spread out a large blanket, and a basket full of food waited for them along with a bottle of wine that rested in a bucket filled with ice from the palace’s underground store.
Settling on the blanket, they unpacked hard-boiled eggs, ribs cooked in a delicious sweet and smoky tomato sauce—barbecue sauce, she called it—and roast chicken, slices of cheese, olives, and a small jar of caviar from Earth, with packets of salt bread.
“This is quite a feast,” she said, surveying the bounty.
“We deserve it.” He reached for the bottle of wine to open it. “We haven’t yet had a chance to take that camping trip we talked about, but this is the next best thing.”
“It’s beautiful.” Her eyes widened as she looked at the wine he poured into goblets. “And we get to enjoy some salveri? I thought you only had five bottles left.”
“I did. After this, there will be four.” Smiling, he handed her one of the goblets.
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