by Linsey Hall
I rubbed my temples, but felt nothing. Though I moved my arm, I couldn’t feel my fingertips against my temple. Because I was currently an apparition? My mind was inside this ghostly body in my old home, not in my real body back in the pool.
I tried to ignore the pain as I watched my dad speak to young me. She was so young that it was hard to think of her as myself.
“And whenever you need to return home, you use the locket.” He held open his palm, and the small golden locket sat inside.
“How?” she asked.
“You press it against your heart, like this.” He held the locket up and held it against his heart. “And think of your mother and me. It will open the locket.”
“Okay,” she said.
My dad hooked the locket around the neck of my younger self. The smile on my face was so big that I ached to be her again. But my dad’s face was grim, no longer painted with a comforting smile for my younger self. Worry and concern shadowed his eyes.
Something was wrong.
Of course it was, if he was giving me a locket to help me find my way home. He feared we’d be separated.
“Okay, kiddo,” he said. “What do you say we do a puzzle? Your mom will be home soon, and maybe we can surprise her with the last piece.”
A memory of letting my mom put the last piece in the puzzle blasted through me, the same tearing pain that came with every other old memory I’d had since I’d awoken in the field at fifteen. I ignored the pain and watched them set up the puzzle on the coffee table in front of the fire. On the mantle behind them was a framed photo. My dad, me, and a pretty red-haired woman.
My mother. My heart ached. I’d never seen her face before.
Would she be home soon? I wanted to stick around long enough to see her. That would be okay. I’d only been here a minute.
My chest hurt as I watched. At first, I thought it was sadness. But after a moment, I realized it was lack of air.
I was drowning back in the pool.
I remembered what Aethelred had told me about the Nullifier’s power. I was immortal, protected from time and decay, but not from trauma. My lungs filling with water definitely qualified as trauma.
With one last look at my dad, I pulled myself away from the vision.
Nothing happened.
My lungs continued to ache, and I was still in the living room. I tried again, closing my eyes and envisioning my body back in the pool. I strained to leave the memory, but I was caught there, held tight by invisible ropes tied tight at my arms.
Panic fluttered in my chest as wild as the pain. Something had trapped me here, inside my mind, while my body died in the Pool of Memory. My greatest fear of late had been that I’d be immortal, forced to watch my friends and family die.
Little had I known that my end would come far sooner.
My vision darkened as I struggled to escape the memory. My father and younger self blurred as I went totally blind, my consciousness floating in this strange half-world created inside my mind.
As I was about to pass out, cold water filled my mouth and swirled around my body. I thrashed and kicked, struggling to reach the surface. My toe brushed one of the rocks below, and I kicked again, catching it enough that I could push myself off.
I broke the surface with a gasp, my eyes filmed with water. I choked and blinked, trying to clear my blind eyes as I swam the short distance to the steps. As I scrambled up them, I caught sight of Aidan, straddling another figure and strangling the life out of it.
“What’s—” I coughed, spitting up water. “Going on?”
Aidan jumped off the body and rushed to me, sweeping me into his arms and out of the water. His warm strength sent a rush of comfort through me.
I glanced at the body and realized it was a smoke demon. A few feet away lay a red demon, the kind who wielded a fire sword. His blade lay at his side, extinguished.
“They were trying to kill me,” I murmured. “They were holding me under, weren’t they?”
“Yes,” Aidan said. “Victor Orriodor’s seer must have found you and sent them. I heard voices and came in.”
“Thank you.” I kissed him hard. “I tried to escape the memory, but I couldn’t.”
“I’m glad I heard them.”
“How did they get in? Didn’t Ophelia say this place is protected?” I pushed at his chest, and he took the hint, letting me down. I knelt at the smoke demon’s side and inspected him.
A charm hung around his neck. It was a simple bit of stone with a hole drilled through.
“There’s one on this demon too,” Aidan said from where he knelt by the other demon.
I glanced over and noticed the same charm tied around his neck. I yanked the one off the smoke demon’s body, and Aidan did the same to the fire sword demon. I inspected the charm more closely, finding a strange swirled symbol carved into it.
“Penatrist charms,” Aidan said. “Very rare. They allow the wearer to bypass protective spells and enter protected areas.”
“Victor Orriodor is collecting all kinds of valuable charms these days.”
“He is, indeed.” Aidan stood. “I can’t imagine he has many more of them, but we should get out of here. The seer can only see your location when your concealment charm is nullified by your fluctuating power. Let’s get somewhere new and hopefully have some more time before he finds you again.”
“And sends more freaking demons after me.” I rose and kicked the body of the smoke demon, immediately regretting it when my toe hurt. “Why didn’t he come himself?”
“Either he’s busy or he doesn’t want you to nullify his power.”
I grinned, liking that he might be wary of me. “Let me get dressed.”
Aidan glanced down, as if realizing for the first time that I was nude. Or perhaps now that I mentioned it, he felt it okay to look. His eyes darkened, but he said nothing. Smart man. He’d no doubt noticed before, but my safety had been his first concern. A girl had to like a thing like that.
I clipped the locket around my neck. “Search their pockets for transport charms. One of them should have one if they wanted to get back.”
Aidan patted down the bodies as I dragged on my clothes. As I was strapping on my daggers, Aidan held up a small black stone.
“Got it. Here.” He handed me the stone. “Keep it on you, in case the worst happens.”
Meaning that the demons managed to get me in an unescapable position. I took the charm from him. “Thanks.”
By the time I was ready, the demons had begun to disappear. They’d be nothing but a memory in a few moments.
I nudged the handle of the demon’s fire sword with my toe and said, “That’d make a nice addition to my trove if I could figure out how to control the flame.”
Regretfully, I turned from the blade. I didn’t know how to control it, so I’d be bringing a fire hazard into my lovely trove.
Not worth the risk.
“Is that what fills your trove?” Aidan asked. “Weapons?”
“And other things.” Maybe I’d show Aidan sometime, but I wasn’t ready yet. Troves were personal.
“You get what you needed from your memories?” Aidan asked.
“Yeah, I think so,” I said. “Let’s get out of this place and find a quiet spot so I can try to open the locket. I think we’ve got a little while before Victor Orriodor realizes his goons have failed.”
“Yes. It’d take a while to kill you. You’re too tough to go easy.”
I grinned. “You say the sweetest things.”
“Only the truth.” He held up the penatrist charm and peered at it. “And I doubt he has any more of these. They’re rare enough that I’ve never even seen one.”
“I suppose a guy in your business would want to keep track of those.” Aidan ran a security company, protecting things and people for vast sums of money. Charms that could break through his work would be of definite interest to him.
“Yes. We try to keep an eye out for them on the black market. They only come up
for sale once every decade or so.”
“And he used two at once.”
“It was good timing. You were alone and distracted. It’s what I’d do. He’ll probably never get a better chance.” His gaze was calculating.
I’d forgotten how cunning and scary Aidan could be, since he was always on my side. But if he wanted something, he’d be ruthless in getting it. Like I was. We probably both had decent insight into Victor Orriodor’s mind, though we lacked his sociopathic edge.
We left the Pool of Memory and found a nearby marble bench, shaded by a gnarled tree. Wildflowers bloomed around the base of the bench.
I took a seat and removed the locket.
“I’m going to shift,” Aidan said. “To be safe.”
“To better protect me.”
He nodded.
“I’m figuring you out,” I said.
“I don’t mind.” Magic swirled around him, bringing with it the sound of crashing ocean waves and the scent of the forest. A gray light glimmered, obscuring his form.
A moment later, the griffin stood in his place. His golden gaze met mine before he began to pace in a circle around the tree.
I pressed the locket to my heart and thought of my father. It was easy to think of him as I’d just seen him. Only the barest headache pinged at my mind. Perhaps because I’d already unlocked that memory.
I tried to think of my mother, but the pain came. I envisioned her face in the picture I’d seen in my memory. Her bright green eyes and red hair. My stomach churned as I poked at the corners of my mind, trying to pull on the elusive threads of memory that might lead to something more than just her face.
The scent of vanilla hit my nose. It made my heart ache and my brain throb. But it was my mother’s scent. I knew it, as much from my shoddy memory as I did from the pain that indicated I was on the right track. My head only hurt when I was thinking about my past.
I held on to that scent of vanilla and the memory of my father, wishing I could see more of my mother than just a photo in my head.
Nothing came, but the locket warmed in my hand. I squeezed it tighter, thinking of my parents. Wishing I were with them.
The locket clicked in my hand, a little vibration of something opening. My eyes popped open. The memories faded. I opened my fist and looked inside.
The golden heart was cracked open at the seam. I pried it apart and peered at the interior. There was nothing but more etching, the gold incised with unfamiliar lines. I squinted, trying to make out the design.
“A map,” I whispered as I stood. “It’s a map.”
A swirl of light surrounded Aidan, and he transformed back into himself.
“It’s a map!” I held up the locket. “And it’s going to take me home.”
5
“Here you go.” Ophelia handed me a brass-rimmed magnifying glass.
Aidan and I had found Ophelia and Nuria after I’d made my announcement and showed her the locket. She’d taken us to an enormous library that had soaring ceilings and walls covered with massive bookcases filled with scrolls.
“It’s a projecting glass,” Ophelia said. “Hold the locket so that the engraved map faces the wall, then hold the glass in front of that.”
I did as she said, directing the locket at a small strip of blank wall near the door. As soon as I raised the glass in front of the locket, light shined from it, projecting a series of squiggly lines on the wall.
“Wow,” I said. The map was intricate and beautiful, but entirely foreign. “Where is that?”
“The outline looks like Inismor, the largest of the Arran islands,” Aidan said.
“On the west coast of Ireland?” Ophelia asked.
“Yes,” Aidan said.
I traced the outline of the island, searching for something familiar. On the western edge, there was a small cove. The image of soaring cliffs and a crashing cobalt sea flashed in my mind. Pain followed, an agonizing sword through my brain.
“I see it.” I rubbed my temple. “An area near my house, I think.”
“Where?” Aidan asked.
“There.” I pointed to the little cove. A small symbol, like a flared Celtic cross inside a circle, sat right near the cove.
“Good. Then we know where to go.” Aidan looked at Ophelia. “Thank you for the help.”
“It is our pleasure,” Nuria said. “I’d hoped Cass would never need to use the locket, but we cannot always have what we want.”
Like my parents.
“Thank you.” My tight throat tried to strangle the words. “Without you, I wouldn’t have found my way home.”
“Eventually, you would have,” Nuria said. “But I’m glad I could help.”
Aidan and I said our goodbyes and made our way back to the plane. The trip across the island and over the sea in our little boat was uneventful.
I hadn’t yet noticed a trend with why the demons appeared when they did, and that scared me. It meant that my power was fluctuating wildly without me even knowing. Ever since I’d taken the Nullifier’s power, I’d felt like a magical mess, but this confirmed it. I had no control. This wasn’t normal magic I’d been saddled with.
By the time we boarded the plane, it was night again. We’d decided not to use the transport charm so that I would have it in case of emergency. I needed answers fast, but with Victor Orriodor’s demons hot on my trail, I needed an escape route more.
“If the seer spots me while we’re in the air, could the demons transport into the plane?” I asked.
“No,” Aidan said. “I’ve only heard of a couple cases of supernaturals dumb enough to try to transport into a plane, and they’ve always missed it. Too fast for them to catch. They always end up outside, a few thousand feet back.”
“And then splatted on the ground below.”
“Yes.”
“Good.” I stared at the locket in my palm. “I’m going to try to remember my past.”
I took a seat, and Aidan knelt at my knees. He was so tall that his face was still level with mine. His big hand cupped my cheek. “Are you sure? Doesn’t it give you terrible headaches?”
“Yes. But I need to know what I’m walking into. And a lot of my problems now are because I don’t understand where I’m from.”
“Just be careful.”
I nodded and leaned forward to kiss him. His hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, holding me firmly in place as his lips moved expertly on mine. Heat coiled low in my belly as his tongue parted my lips.
I kissed him back, throwing myself into it. If I had more time and no sword hanging over my neck, I wanted to spend a week with Aidan. Doing this. Hanging out and watching bad TV and eating take-out and doing more of this, this, this.
Regretfully, I pulled away. “As much as I’d like to continue that, my life is kinda on the line here.”
He nodded ruefully. “Agreed. Be careful.”
I nodded and leaned back, closing my eyes. Rustling sounded as Aidan moved away. I felt something at my waist and opened my eyes to glance down. Aidan was belting the seatbelt around my waist.
My mouth tipped up at the corner. “Thanks.”
“Safety first.”
“You’re a good guy.”
“Best you ever met.” He grinned.
“Cocky.”
He shrugged, his smile devastating, then turned and went to speak to the captain.
I was grinning as I closed my eyes again. For good measure, I raised the locket to my chest and pressed it against my heart, having no idea if it would work.
Everything I was doing now felt awkward and strange, like I was stumbling blind through a room looking for a key. It was there, the answers were there. I just had to find them.
But I didn’t only want to find answers. I wanted to know why I couldn’t remember. There was too much at stake, too much locked inside my mind, for me to go piecemeal, trying to remember bit by bit. I needed to know why I’d lost my memory so that maybe I could undo the damage.
I racked my
brain, thinking of anything that might provide a clue. Every memory that I’d had before I was fifteen came from the nightmares that had started earlier in the summer, when Victor Orriodor had reappeared in my life.
I played the important memories over in my mind like a horrible movie, trying to reach the end where the answers lay. The memories started with Nix, Del, and me being held captive in his basement dungeon. There’d been other girls, too, who’d been taken away and not come back. And if they had come back, they’d worn collars. Those collars were the end of a girl, sapping her will and freedom, more so than even the dark cells that caged us like beasts.
I’d been taken from the cell at one point. The Monster had wanted to steal my root power. Whether he’d succeeded or not, I didn’t know. My locket had protected me from dying, but my memory didn’t answer whether he’d stolen my root power or destroyed it. He’d thrown me back in the cell after, a piece of trash to him.
But we’d escaped, my deirfiúr and I, killing a guard and racing through the dungeon to freedom. It was how I’d gotten my Mirror Mage powers, stolen straight from one of the bastards who’d imprisoned us.
When we’d reached the main floor of the Monster’s home, we’d escaped out into the desert. I knew now that it wasn’t any ordinary desert. It’d been a waypoint, a place between earth and the heavens and hells.
That was where my memories ended. That was where my answers had to lie. I strained to remember what happened as my deirfiúr and I had stood on the steps of the Monster’s mansion, staring out in horror at the endless sea of sand that rolled into the distance.
Agony pierced my head as I tried to remember. I gagged and doubled over in my seat, but didn’t let up. I forced my mind to stay with the memory of that moment, trying to push forward into what had happened next. Nothing came except more pain, but I continued on.
Normally, I would retreat by now, giving up on finding the memories. It was too painful. Too hopeless.
But I had no more time for hopelessness. All I had time for was perseverance and commitment.