Nate deserved better.
I bit off another piece of chocolatey peanut goodness and crunched on it while a woman pushing a cart down the aisle did her best to pretend I wasn’t there. Her best wasn’t good enough, though, because I caught her judgmental “call security, stat” side eye as she passed. When she caught me looking back, she pushed the cart faster, away from the crazy hobo camping out in front of the Lean Cuisines.
Whatever. She didn’t belong in this aisle anyway, if the titanic-sized rock on her left finger was any indication. The family-size Hungry Man’s, that was where she belonged. And if she tattled and had an employee ask me to leave, my answer would be that I was indecisive and still debating between the angel hair pasta with shrimp or the lasagna frozen dinners. No harm, no foul.
The sad thing was, I technically didn’t even need to be here anymore, since Paige kept the kitchen fully stocked and there were grocery stores much closer to her place. Our place, I silently corrected. But I couldn’t bring myself to break my weekly visits, and for some reason tonight I had no desire to leave. They’d have to kick me out.
After shoving the rest of the chocolate in my mouth, I balled up the wrapper and tossed it into the shopping basket ass-planted next to me. Then I ripped open another one. My phone displayed the screensaver when I hit the home key, which meant no messages. No phone calls. No emails. Nobody by the name of someone that rhymed with “great” trying to get in touch with me.
With a grunt, I dumped my phone back in the basket, and when I looked back up, I almost choked.
Standing just under the meals-for-one sign, like I’d willed him into existence, was Nate. Scruffy Nate with hair that needed a trim, but hell, it was hair that was made for running your fingers through it. In black pants, a white collared shirt, and grey suspenders, he looked every bit how I remembered him from the last time I’d seen him, but he was different too. It was in his eyes. Where I’d expected to see them lit with fire, there was no anger, no hurt. His expression was open and curious and…something akin to amusement?
Probably because he’d just caught me in the middle of gorging. I quickly swallowed and wiped my mouth. And then…yeah, and then I just stared at him, because not one word came to mind. What did you say to greet people again? It started with an H, I knew that much, and I sounded it out so whatever letters came after it would show up.
He didn’t say a word as I stumbled over mine. Instead, he sat down on the other side of the aisle, leaned against the glass door, and crossed his arms.
“H-hi,” I said finally. There, fuck. Was that so hard? Apparently not, because then I couldn’t shut up. “I was just thinking about the second time I ever saw you and how I’d been cursing that stupid sign up there and calling Target an asshole for trying to make a dating aisle in the middle of the frozen foods section. And then half of me thought it was genius and that I should set up shop here because at least then I wouldn’t starve. And then you showed up and said something about my pants making you hungry, and honestly, I was just grateful I was wearing fucking pants, even though I’d forgotten to throw on a bra that day. Not that you knew that, because I was holding on to those pizzas like a life raft, but yeah. Tit bit nippily that night, but don’t worry, I remembered to wear one tonight. I think.” I held open the collar of my shirt and peered down at my white lace bra. “Yep, all tucked in.”
Nate tilted his head to the side as he stared at me. Well, stared at my face, not the boobs in question. God, why was I thinking about that instead of the fact that he was there, in the flesh, sitting across from me and memorizing my face?
This had been all I’d fantasized during my waking hours, when I hadn’t been consumed with the setup of my company, which was working under the name Sayonara Spinsterhood and Sweatpants because, well, Paige.
I cleared my throat and tried again. “I mean, hi.”
He nodded toward the chocolate bars in my lap. “Can I have one of those?”
My eyebrows shot up, and when I saw that he was serious, I nodded mutely and then slid an unopened one across the aisle.
Peeling off the wrapper, he kept his eyes on mine and then took a bite. And then another, his crunching the only sound I could hear. When he’d finished, he licked his fingers one by one, and I could only watch in fascination because something about it was almost intimate, but then again, it called to mind nights in his bed, and on his table, and on the rug.
Focus.
“Can I ask you a question, Shayne?”
“Yes.”
His hazel eyes pierced mine. “Is your phone broken?”
“Is my… What?” So not what I thought he was going to ask.
“Your phone. Broken? What about your car? Your legs? Email? Note-taking abilities? Messenger owl? All of that broken?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about why you didn’t track me down, Shayne. I’m assuming you didn’t want to, since I’m easy to find.”
My mouth opened and closed several times, but I couldn’t squeak anything out. Had he wanted me to go after him? And why the hell? I’d not only embarrassed him, but fuck, had it been me, it wasn’t something I could probably get over even with an apology.
But then again…Nate wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met.
“Nothing to say now?” he asked, but he wasn’t mad. No, nothing on his face was accusatory. Merely curious.
“Excuse me, but you two need to move.” A woman in a red shirt and a nametag that said Manager stood above us with a disapproving expression. “We don’t allow loitering on the premises.”
“We’ll be gone as soon as I get what I came for,” Nate said, his eyes still on mine.
“You need to leave now before I call security to escort you off the—”
“Can you just give us a minute,” he said, finally snapping his head up. Then he held up his hand and said, “I’m sorry, but that woman over there did something super shitty that she needs to apologize for, and I’m not leaving until I get it.” Then he looked back at me and said, “Anything you want to get off your chest, Shayne?”
“Sir—” the manager started again.
“Five minutes,” he said, and she huffed but shut her mouth and looked in my direction to hear whatever apology he was waiting for.
“You want me to say I’m sorry for hurting you? Nate…I could never apologize enough for what I did. It’s all I think about. If I could take it all back—”
“You wouldn’t, because I wouldn’t let you,” he finished.
I shrank back. “Excuse me?”
“I’ve already talked to Ace, and I’m well aware of why you did what you did. That’s not the apology I’m looking for.”
Blinking, I said, “You don’t want me to tell you I’m sorry for hurting you? If that’s not what you want from me, I don’t know what to tell you. Whatever it is, I’m sorry, a million times over. Had I known you wanted me to, I would’ve begged you to talk to me, to take me back and try to understand, but you deserve someone who wouldn’t lie to you in the first damn place.”
“Aha,” he said, pointing at me and looking up at the manager. “You see that? That was like some kind of backwards apology shit.”
She shrugged and said, “I’m gonna have to agree.”
“What?”
I tossed my chocolate bar into the basket and crossed my legs. “Why don’t you just tell me what it is you want, and I’ll repeat it back to you then.”
“Okay, here you go: ‘Nate, I’m so sorry I made you think I didn’t give a fuck about you. I must’ve lost all brain function during my weeks-long stay in the hospital, because anyone who’s seen a romcom knows that at the end of the movie, the person who did the wronging is the one that goes after the wrongee. So I apologize for fucking up the formula and making you chase me here. Please take me back.’”
I gaped at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you on drugs?”
“Say it, Shayne.”
“You want to be with me?
Like, really want to be with me?” There was no way he was being for real about this. Or is he?
“I’m not fuckin’ around,” he said.
“But…seriously? Is this a joke?”
Nate threw his hands up. “Is it so hard to believe that somewhere along the way I fell for this crazy girl with the big smile that has a tendency to trip over her two left feet and somehow still make that look hot? That I might actually care enough about her to understand that even when she has good intentions, it can somehow skew into what-the-fuck-were-you-thinking territory, and even knowing that, I see where her heart is?”
“Nate, listen. That crazy girl you met that was letting loose on a pantsless Metro ride? That’s not really me. That’s me plus two liters of vodka and a heap of peer pressure. The girl who falls all the time? Yeah, okay, but I don’t see how that’s even remotely attractive. The girl in ice cream pajama pants eating candy bars in the middle of a store that, yes”—I looked up at the manager—“I plan to pay for. Yeah, that’s more who I am. And that can’t possibly sound appealing to you in the long run, not really.”
“I already know all that about you—”
“But did you know I order really embarrassing drinks at coffee shops?” I asked, getting to my feet as he followed my lead but stayed across the aisle. “Ones with ten names in them that end in the word frappuccino. And sometimes I wear my jeans every day for a week because they get more comfy and I’m lazy and hate to do laundry. Oh, and I still listen to NSYNC CDs, especially the Christmas album, even when it’s not Christmas because they put me in a good mood and I can do all the dance moves, not that I’d ever show anyone outside of the shower. I like the smell of musty spaces mixed with mothballs because it reminds me of my nan’s attic, which is super weird because most girls want candles that smell like roses or cookies. I don’t like to watch Disney movies because they make me cry, something you’d probably be ecstatic about getting out of. I’m a shitty cook, no matter what my friends say, which is why I’m always in this damn aisle, but I can bake a mean pina colada cake, so you know you’ll probably end up diabetic. You’re a fit guy, so you’ll want me to go hiking or running with you, and you should just know right now that my idea of exercising is walking in heels at work. Which I don’t plan to do anymore anyway.”
He crossed the aisle. “Shayne—”
“There’s more—”
His finger went to my lips, and I fell silent. Then he brushed a stray curl from my face, and his hand cupped the side of my neck. “I promise never to take you roller blading or hiking or anything else that might require a fully padded body suit. The music thing…eh, we’ll have to compromise on it, but I’ll never complain about being fat and happy as long as you don’t.”
I sniffled. “But what about the mothballs?”
With a long sigh, he shrugged. “You’re a freak. Guess I’m sorta into it.”
“Uh, you’re both freaks,” a voice behind us said.
Our heads jerked in the direction of the manager, who was backing away as if she was ready to get the hell out of our way in case she caught something infectious. “We close in half an hour, so just”—she waved her hand at us—“keep it PG.”
“People,” Nate said, shaking his head. Then his gaze traveled down between us, and he licked his lips. “I’ve missed those pajama pants.”
“I missed these suspenders,” I replied, snapping one like a rubber band.
His dimples deepened, and then he cupped my face, his forehead resting against mine. Such a simple act, but it was all that was needed to have the anxious nerves evaporating like the ocean on your skin under the hot sun.
“Nate?” I said, breathing him in and opening my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
And then he kissed me, and it was butterflies, and fireworks and explosions, but most of all, it was the assurance that he knew who he was kissing, really knew, and wanted to anyway. My hands threaded through the soft strands of his hair that now sat just above his collar, and his stubble grazed against my cheek as our tongues tangled. And then it occurred to me that this was the first time I’d ever been able to do this with him in public. To do more than hold his hand, without a wig, without a hat, just open and exposed and without any other cares in the world.
And it felt fucking fantastic.
When he pulled away, he kissed the tip of my nose and then lifted his eyes to the sign above him. “You know…I think that sign’s a little misleading.” He looked behind me to make sure the coast was clear and then pulled a Post-it pad out of his pocket, along with a Sharpie. After scribbling something across it, he peeled off the sticky note and slapped it on the sign, right over the word “one,” so that it now read:
MEALS FOR TWO
“Much better,” I said, my arm going around his waist as his wrapped around my shoulders. We stood there looking at his handiwork until the intercom came on, alerting shoppers that the store would be closing soon.
Nate picked up his empty basket and put it underneath mine to share. His brow wrinkled as he looked up and down the aisle at the selections behind the frosted doors. Then he winked at me and said, “There’s nothing here that’s appealing to me anymore. I’m suddenly in the mood for ice cream.”
“Yeah, that sounds good. We can stop by Licked if you— Ohhh,” I said as my brain finally picked up what he was throwing down, which should’ve been blatantly obvious by the way his eyes never left by pants. “Lead the way home, then, Mr. Ryan.”
EPILOGUE
Six Months Later
“WHY THE HELL am I blindfolded? It’s not like I don’t know where my new office is. Or the fact that the girls will be there, because I did invite them for drinks, ya know.” Shayne sounded faux annoyed as I led her up the sidewalk and into the building that housed her new business, Happily Ever After, Inc. I halted her so I could open the door and took a moment to admire the way her long blue dress molded to her body like a second skin. As she brushed past me, I stepped in behind her, and then grabbed her hand as we walked over to the bank of elevators.
“I figured you missed wearing disguises,” I said, punching the up button, and the doors immediately opened.
“Aren’t you hilarious. If I fall on my face—”
“Do you honestly think I’d let you fall?”
Her teeth came out to bite her bottom lip as a smile threatened to break free. “Maybe…if you needed a good laugh.”
“Nah. The only way I’d let that happen is if I hit the ground first.”
“Aww. So you fall, I fall. That’s so cute.”
“Well, more like you fall, I try to hold us up, but yeah, something like that.”
She giggled as we reached the seventh floor, and I held her around the waist as we exited the elevator and headed to her new office.
“You ready?” I asked when we came to a stop in front of the door.
“I think I’m gonna spew I’m so excited,” she said, holding her stomach, and then she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Can I take the blindfold off yet?”
“No.”
“Okay. What about now?”
“Nope.”
“Now?”
“Shayne,” I growled.
“Okay, okay.”
I rapped on the door three times and then pushed it open. As we entered, I took off her blindfold and flipped the light switch.
“Surprise!”
Shayne jumped about a foot as the thunder of voices vibrated across the room. The space was packed with people, all new clients and former ones that had made the jump from HLS, as well as Shayne’s girlfriends, and even her—
“Mum? Dad?” she said, her eyes wide before she ran straight into their open arms. “Oh my gosh, what are you doing here?”
“We couldn’t miss our baby girl starting her new business, now could we?” her dad said, kissing her temple. He was about the same height as Shayne, with the same eyes, but that was where the similarities ended. She had her petite mom’s col
oring, right down to the ivory skin and wild red curls, though she kept hers cropped just above her shoulders.
Shayne was shaking her head in disbelief. “You flew all the way across the Pacific just for this?”
“Of course, baby. Not to mention there was someone we’ve been dying to meet.” Her mom looked over at me before stepping forward and holding out her arms. As I embraced her, she said, “So good to finally meet you in person, Nate. You’re so handsome. That video chat thing doesn’t do you justice.” Then she pulled back and looked up at me. “And look, you’re even taller than our Gracie girl. Garry, can you believe she found someone bigger than she is?”
“Mum!” Shayne protested.
“Oh, darling, I don’t mean big as in your thighs,” she said, and then turned to me and whispered, “She’s so sensitive about her legs, you know.”
“Uh, Carolyn, why don’t we let Shayne make her rounds and catch up with her later, hmm? I’ll get you some punch. We’ll see you in a bit.” Garry put his arm around his wife and led her over to the banquet table that the girls had set up with finger foods, desserts, and drinks.
Shayne rounded on me and shook her head, though she had a huge grin on her face. “Let me guess. That was all your idea.”
“Guilty.”
“You’re pretty amazing, you know that?”
“Why yes, I do.”
She playfully slapped at my chest and then frowned. “Is my makeup all smeared now?” she asked, her beautiful eyes looking up at me as she swiped underneath her eyes.
I shook my head and brought her hand to my lips to plant a soft kiss across her knuckles. “Nope. You’re perfect.”
She beamed and then leaned in for a kiss—
“Oh, break it up, you two, and come greet your guests,” Paige said, as she came up beside us and stole Shayne away. “Nice touch with the blindfold,” she called out to me over her shoulder.
Hooker (L.A. Liaisons Book 2) Page 21