“By you,” Nate shot out. “You’re a despicable human being. I saw what you did to them. There was no respect that I could see.”
“That wasn’t me. I didn’t kill them,” Williams shouted. “When will you get that through your thick skull? But I suppose I shouldn’t expect you to understand. Most people don’t. They’ve always thought I was strange, but the dead don’t judge. They listen—always—no matter what I say or what I’ve done. No-one was being hurt.”
“See, that’s where the problem lies, Williams. And you still don’t see it. You did hurt people. Those photos of you playing dolls with their loved ones’ bodies will live with them forever. You were their funeral director. They trusted you during a time of unbearable grief, and you shattered that trust.” He eyed Williams, searching for any hint of remorse. The lack of any emotion but those of self-pity and righteousness infuriated him. “Judging by the photos on your website, you’ve been doing this for a long while, but then you wanted more beautiful bodies to play with. Women that hadn’t died of natural causes were infinitely more attractive than ones ravaged by illness. You have to admit you enjoyed playing with them just a little bit more.”
“That may be so, but I didn’t kill them,” he repeated in a tired voice. “Why do you think you finally stumbled across that evidence? Why would the killer be so careless when up until then you’d found nothing? Because someone planted it to frame me. Open your eyes, O’Leary!” Williams’ voice shook with passion and his gaze bored into him. “The real killer is out there ready to strike again if he hasn’t already. But while you’re stuck like a broken record believing I’m the guilty party, there’s nothing you can do about it, and more women will die.”
Suddenly, Williams’ form started to waver and his mouth curved up in a beatific smile. “It looks like I’m out of here. At last.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “I said what I needed to say. Now, you need to act on it.”
“Wait,” Nate reached out a hand to stop him, but his fingers closed on air. He blinked. The man’s presence was gone as if it had never been there. He shook his head at the craziness. Had he imagined it all? Glancing around, the colors and outlines of figures that were clear just moments ago blurred and softened, merging back into shapeless blots of nothing. Confusion set in as he whirled around to find a focal point and failed. He was alone. The only thing holding back the panic he sensed waiting in the wings was his iron will.
Was he in some mad dream of his own making? Williams was right when he’d accused him of accepting things at face value, of resting on his laurels. But why would anyone dig deeper? The man was scum. The cigarette butt found at the scene belonged to Williams. No doubt about it. The DNA result was conclusive. Without it, he would have walked.
Nate shuddered at the thought. No family should have to live through that particular pain. It was a torturous hell with no escape. What were a few niggles eating away at him compared to the peace the conviction gave the affected families? There was no contest.
He’d done the right thing—hadn’t he?
God. What was with this doubt all of a sudden? Williams had been a consummate liar in life, and it seemed death had only enhanced that particular asset. A wave of exhaustion, the magnitude of which he’d never known, crashed over him. His eyes grew heavy and suddenly it became too much effort to keep them open. As he gave in to the urge to sleep, a two-word litany ran through his head, accompanying him into oblivion.
What if?
Chapter Two
Kelly woke suddenly and peeled her cheek from the vinyl chair. Something felt different.
Blinking rapidly to clear her sight, she pulled herself upright and cast a glance over the still figure of her partner. No change. He lay there as he had since the day they’d stabilized him. Nothing looked out of place as she swept her gaze around Nate’s utilitarian hospital room. The machines still bleeped and blinked, recording his body’s every function, and saline dripped steadily into a line keeping his body hydrated. Nothing had changed, including her wishful thinking.
With a groan, she dug her fingers into the back of her neck in a desperate attempt to loosen the knotted muscles before giving it up as a lost cause. She glanced at her watch and her heart thudded heavily in her chest. Day six. Time marched against him. Each passing minute was another nail in his coffin. Even the media had packed up a couple of days ago. It seemed she was the only one holding out hope. Apart from a quick shower and change of clothes at home, she’d been here, hoping to witness the miracle of him opening his eyes again.
She leaned over and stroked her fingers through his thick, dark hair. “Come on, Nate,” she whispered in his ear. Her voice thickened with unshed tears. “When you wake up, you’re going to owe me big time for all this leave I’m taking to look after you. I’m thinking dinner at that fancy restaurant on the waterfront. And then, we’ll go to the nightclub across the way—the one we’re always being called to. I can’t wait to watch your tight, little butt wriggle to the music.” She laughed lightly. “You profess to hate dancing, but I’ve seen your toes tapping to the beat a time or two. You can’t lie to me. I’m a cop remember?”
She studied his face for any signs her teasing had gotten through to him, but his features remained impassive. There wasn’t even a hint of the frown she usually found on his face when he looked at her. She couldn’t believe she missed that forbidding expression. Lately, she’d wondered if the frown was an act intended to mask his thoughts from her. She snorted. More than likely, it was her overactive imagination.
“I’m a pain in his ass and that’s the end of it.” The idea hurt—not that she’d ever admit it to anyone. Especially Nate. She’d rather have her incisors pulled out with pliers.
She rose from the chair to ease her stiff limbs, and the vinyl creaked in protest. Raising her arms over her head, she stretched to loosen the kinks in her back. Cartilage popped and she groaned aloud in relief. The hospital had provided a bed, but she’d shunned it for the chair, being able to move it closer to Nate and listen to the reassuring sound of his breathing. She needed to see the strong heartbeat register in steady blips on the machine.
A nurse bustled in pushing a trolley, and Kelly glanced at her watch. It was seven o’clock on the dot. “Impressive, Caitlyn. You run a tight ship.”
The woman threw a smile at her over her shoulder as she headed to the bathroom with an empty bowl in her hands. “We try.”
Kelly rose to allow privacy for the nurse to deal with Nate’s daily sponge bath. She bent to retrieve her bag when Caitlyn called out. “Could you hang about for a minute, Kelly? I’m going to need some help to turn Mr. O’Leary so I can wash his back. We’re short-staffed.”
Kelly hesitated, reluctant and bit her lip. The nurses were used to dealing with their patients efficiently, leaving emotions at the door. It wasn’t in Kelly to do the same, and this was Nate.
“Are you sure you don’t have anyone else to help?” At the shake of the nurse’s head, she swallowed hard and dropped her bag.
When Caitlyn expertly loosened the hospital gown and tugged at the material, Kelly felt her face flame. She’d never felt so awkward in her life. This was her partner. The man could hardly stand to be in the same room with her. How mortified would he be to know she was about to witness him being attended to so intimately? But at the same time, a frisson of excitement lit her nerves. She’d never had occasion to be so close to him before, and even though the situation wasn’t ideal, being in close proximity to all that raw male power made her pulse race.
“Put one hand on the small of his back, and the other at his shoulder-blade. Push firmly but gently in an even manner when I tell you. Stop when he is on his side and hold him there. Okay?”
“Got it.” Gingerly, Kelly followed the instructions. The heat of his skin seared her palms, and she sucked in a quick breath through flared nostrils. When the nurse gave the instruction, she pushed. It was harder than it looked. Nate was pure muscle. Even after a week of enforced inactivity, hi
s body was sculpted like a Greek god. She swallowed to ease a suddenly dry throat and made a valiant effort to concentrate on the mechanics of what she needed to do. When she had him on his side, she could feel the sweat from the exertion break out and slide down her back.
Before Kelly had time to prepare, the nurse flipped the gown over so she could wash him, exposing his back. Kelly gasped aloud.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Caitlyn asked in an aside then carried on with her work, oblivious to the palpitations Kelly experienced.
“Yeah,” she croaked, unable to come up with anything else. She’d had no idea he’d decorated his skin. He’d never mentioned having a tattoo. Mind you, he never offered anything personal. Black and white, the intricate design was clearly of a dragon. The scales themselves would have taken an age to create. With the finest movement from his breathing, they appeared to shimmer and move. Her gaze followed the design to the dragon’s face—arranged into an expression of ecstasy as its head rested in the lap of a woman, her head bowed over in ministration, soothing the beast. Where dragon and woman met, color exploded.
Questions crowded her mind. He didn’t seem the type to get a tattoo and such a mystical one at that. When did he get it? What did it signify? Did it hurt? So much about this man remained an enigma, reminding her she’d barely scratched the surface in the few months they’d been partners. If—when she corrected herself—he woke, she swore she wouldn’t feel so afraid to ask him questions. The fact he carried such beautiful art on his body proved he had a sensitive side, hinting at a hidden facet to his personality. Why did he guard it so fiercely?
Water trickled from the cloth and ran over the ridge of his back and down the other side. The image of her lapping that drop off his body with her tongue came out of nowhere, and she quickly averted her gaze, turning her attention back to the nurse.
Caitlyn lifted her head and smiled at her. “Mr. O’Leary is lucky to have someone like you at his side. I wish more of our patients had people so devoted to their loved ones.”
Kelly’s heart leaped. “Loved ones?” The nurse gave her a knowing smile, and she blushed furiously. She rushed to correct her. “Oh, no. Nate and I are colleagues—nothing more. He doesn’t even like me much, but I couldn’t bear to let him go through this alone.”
Caitlyn raised a fine brow. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about people in this job, it’s that they’re very good at putting up a front when they want to hide what they perceive as weakness.”
Kelly frowned and shook her head. “Nate’s a straight-up guy. He’s not afraid to say it like it is.”
“Hmm, well if you’re sure about that.” She changed the subject, leaving Kelly with the distinct impression she didn’t believe her for a second. “I’ll just do his front then get you to lift his other side in a moment.”
“Sure,” Kelly agreed automatically, and gently lowered him back to the mattress. Skirting the bed, she moved to the other side, her eyes following the cloth as it traveled over the hard planes of his body. Noting the angry red hole had started to heal, she nevertheless winced as the cloth ran around the tender skin. She closed her eyes at the sudden memory of that gaping wound—the sound and smells associated with it—his blood coating her hands, and shuddered.
When she opened them again, she thought she saw his eyelids flicker. She forgot to breathe and stood motionless, willing the movement again. But there was nothing. She sighed, and shook her head. It wasn’t the first time in the past six days that she imagined a flicker of life, wanting to believe it so badly, her mind played tricks on her. The nurse repeated her attention to the other side of his back while Kelly determinedly kept her gaze on a laminated fire exit instructions taped to the opposite wall. If only there were such clear instructions on how to escape the burning pain of unrequited love.
All too soon, the nurse placed everything back onto the trolley, retied the hospital gown, and wheeled out of the room with a cheery goodbye, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Kelly dropped back into the seat. It was starting to feel more familiar than her own couch. She’d obviously been here too long—the foam cushion was perfectly indented with the shape of her bottom.
“It’s time you woke up, Nate,” she murmured in his ear. “I know you’re enjoying all this attention, but we’re all waiting for you.” His pulse beat strong and sure in the side of his throat. An urge came over her to kiss him in that vulnerable spot. But she resisted the temptation by pressing her lips together so hard she felt the imprint of her teeth.
She shook her head, reached down into her bag, and pulled out the novel she had tried to distract herself with over the last few days. Within moments, she found her place. The skill of the author immersed her in another world and someone else’s problems. It was a nice place to be.
“Kelly,” Nate groaned in a long exhale, his voice husky from disuse.
For a heartbeat, she thought she’d imagined the sound then her gaze shot to his face. Her book dropped to the floor as she lurched up and leaned over him. Hazy green eyes connected with hers as she framed his jaw with her hands and searched his face.
“Nate? Oh, thank God,” she whispered fervently. Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes as the emotion of the last few days hit her hard and spilled over. She swiped impatiently at her cheek, her mouth widening in a grin. She must look like a loon, grinning and crying at once, but she didn’t care. He was awake!
His gaze sharpened and his eyes glittered with a strange light. “What the hell happened—and why are you crying like a girl?”
“I am a girl in case you hadn’t noticed,” she retorted before she realized she’d fallen for the same old bait. His near-death experience hadn’t changed him one iota.
Anger warred with the confused emotions she always felt about him. Admiration, frustration, and good old-fashioned lust. They jumbled up into a heap and lodged in the base of her throat. Unfortunately, no amount of throat clearing would rid them from her system. She bit her lip to hold further tears at bay then risked a glance at him. Her eyes skittered away under his intense stare and she flushed. God—please don’t let him guess what had just been running through her mind. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest.
She glanced back as her mind snagged on a detail. He’d pulled the sheet up to above his waist and a fine sheen of sweat now beaded his brow and top lip from the effort. Kelly frowned down at him and reached for the buzzer to summon a nurse. “You’ve been out for a long time, Nate. You need to take it easy for the next little while.”
“How long?” he croaked.
She fiddled with the sheet, smoothing it repeatedly with the flat of her palm. Her throat unclogged and filled with tears. “Six days today,” she choked out. She turned her head away, pretending interest in the noise of passersby in the hallway. Nate’s large hand curled around her wrist, and she almost jumped out of her skin. The warmth of the contact nearly undid her.
“Hey. Look at me.” He tugged until she reluctantly met his gaze. “Why are you so upset? I’m alive.”
Kelly squeezed her eyes shut against the memory of him jerking at the impact of the bullet. “I can’t shake the terror of that moment, Nate,” she admitted in a whisper. “I relive the sound of the bullet and your head hitting the ground in my dreams every night.” She opened her eyes and drilled him with a fierce stare. “And I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. I felt so helpless. I’m a police officer, and I just stood there and screamed while my partner went down. I thought I’d lost you.”
In the charged silence that followed, she became aware Nate’s thumb stroked the sensitive skin of her wrist in time to the beat of her heart. Heat flowed through her veins, and her pulse jumped under his grip. He grinned weakly at her, and she jerked her arm away, embarrassed. Great. Another thing for him to mock her about. Nothing got past him.
She dragged in a deep breath, deciding to change the subject. Since seeing his tattoo, she hadn’t been able to get it out of her mind. She remembered t
he vow she’d recently made to herself and thrust her chin towards his torso. “So when did you get your tattoo and what’s the significance of the dragon?”
The grin slid off his face, and he pulled the sheet further up his body. “It’s personal,” he answered shortly. He closed his eyes and exhaled, breathing shallowly through his nostrils.
Curious, Kelly opened her mouth to ask more but noted his closed expression. Pain sliced through her as she realized he didn’t want to share with her. Had she really expected anything to change just because he almost died? Just then, the nurse bustled into the room and saved her from making more of an idiot of herself.
“Did you want me?” Caitlyn asked before noticing Nate. “Oh! Mr. O’Leary. You’re awake! How wonderful. I’ll get the doctor.” She turned to Kelly at the door and gave her a meaningful look. “You’ll be able to get some sleep in your own bed now, love. He came back to you.”
Kelly cringed and bit her lip.
“Have you been here the whole time?” Nate asked after the nurse left, his eyes searching out the truth.
“I felt responsible for you,” she shrugged, hoping he couldn’t see the blush she felt spreading over her cheeks from his prone position. The twist of his lips confirmed she was out of luck. Embarrassment momentarily blinded her to anything but her own discomfort. Too late, she noticed the sheen of sweat beading Nate’s forehead. One moment, he was staring at her with that faint layer of disdain she hated so much, and the next, his eyes had rolled back into his head.
Kelly prodded his arm and called louder into his ear, “Nate?”
At the lack of response, she shot up, her chair screeching against the linoleum. The doctor came through the door at the same time she barreled through, and she reached out a hand to steady him.
Beyond the Shadows Page 2