Memento Mori

by Lexi Blake

  Thanks to Jax.

  How did one thank a man for turning her whole life around? She hadn’t even gotten her mouth on his cock. Every time she thought about trying, he would have her pinned down, his cock inside her. She never thought she would be so frustrated because she hadn’t gotten to give a guy a blowjob.

  He was a giving lover. She sighed. Maybe he would show up tonight. She would welcome him. She’d set up the guidelines and she had to be a big girl and live with it.

  Would he bring Buster?

  “Buster, you have to poop. Stop trying to fight the bugs and void your bowels,” a low voice said. It was coming from outside her window.

  She found her big, fluffy robe and pulled it around her and stepped up to the window, peeking through the blinds.

  Jax stood in the middle of the green grass wearing nothing but that perfectly fitting pair of Levis that rode low on his hips, showing off how much time the man spent in the gym. Buster romped on the grass, apparently trying to fight a butterfly. He growled and jumped and looked godawful cute.

  “Why do you not simply pour vile medicine in the dog’s beer?” a deep voice asked. He had a thick accent that sounded Eastern European. A dark-haired man stepped in from the front of the yard, a frown on his handsome face.

  For a second she was gripped with fear. The man looked so angry.

  Jax simply grinned, his hands on his hips. “Rough night, huh, Dante?”

  The man named Dante shot Jax the finger. “Fuck you.”

  The potential for violence was thick in the air. She started to fumble to draw the blinds up so she could let that jerk who was threatening Jax know he wasn’t alone. What was that man doing here? Was he part of the film crew? She hadn’t met him.

  Dante prowled closer to Jax. “Do you know what I did to that bathroom? It will never be the same. Big Tag claims he will never go into it again. It is haunted now. Haunted with much pain and regret.”

  Before she could manage to get the window open, Jax was doubled over laughing and Dante shook his head.

  “You are a bastard, Jax.” He chuckled. “You have to give me a little of whatever you used. I swear Sasha goes around looking…what is the word? Constipated. Yes, he looks constipated all the time. You forgive me now? We are even?”

  Jax didn’t look up, merely nodded his head.

  There was a knock on her door. She started. Who the hell was in her cabin?

  She opened the door and Tucker stood there.

  “Hey, we brought some bacon but then we realized we have no idea how to cook it. The instructions are a little vague and Jax told us not to burn anything down. After what he did to Dante, we’re all tiptoeing lightly around him. Dude got mean. Do you know how to cook bacon?”

  She stared at him for a moment because she could hear people arguing in the background, and they weren’t all speaking English. “How many people are in my cabin?”

  Tucker smiled, an open expression that made her wonder why the hell Heather had let him go. “Everyone. Well, almost everyone I know. Big Tag spent the night in some bunker preparing for the oncoming alien invasion and Ezra is brooding somewhere, but the nice lady who usually makes our breakfast has a doctor’s appointment and honestly, she wouldn’t make us bacon. When we asked her to, she protested us.”

  Ah, so Nell was their nice lady. “I’m a vegetarian.”

  His face fell and he looked down at that bacon like it was a lover he’d lost.

  “But that’s my personal choice. My dad was all carnivore and I cooked for him. I can certainly teach you. It’s pretty easy.” She wouldn’t buy a pound of bacon, but she also wouldn’t toss it out if someone wanted to eat it. Nor would she protest. “I’m not vegan like Nell. I love cheese far too much. Come on. I’ll show you how to make it in the oven and then I’ll make us some scrambled eggs, too. I think I’ve got some muffin mix somewhere.”

  Someone had made coffee. The heavenly smell wafted through the cabin as she followed Tucker into the front room. It was filled with men. Incredibly hot men seemed to be everywhere.

  The big, gorgeous Scot had taken up residence on her couch along with a dark-haired man who was shaking his head.

  The man she hadn’t met pointed toward the television. “They wear all the protective gear. In my country, we did not need these things. We play sports like men.”

  “Ah, but you wear knickers, too,” the Scotsman snarked. “Real men let their willies get a nice breeze when playing.”

  “I’m never playing basketball with you again,” Robert said from the kitchen. “Not now that I know you go commando.”

  Owen looked up, winking in a way that let her know he was having fun teasing the guys. “Thank the lord, a pretty face. Please save us, River. We’re so hungry and not a damn one of us learned how to cook.”

  “Speak for yourself,” the dark-haired man said. “I can microwave any number of things. I do not need woman. The rest of you are sad men, unable to even care for yourself without woman around.”

  Owen nodded. “Yes, what Sasha said. Totally unable to take care of ourselves.” His voice went low, slightly seductive. “Utterly dependent and on our knees begging the beautiful lady to not let us starve.”

  Oh, he was a charmer. “Stella would love to feed you. She has a diner in town.”

  Owen’s lips quirked up in a sexy grin. “Oh, but Ms. Stella ain’t sleeping with our brother. We made a deal a long time ago.”

  Tucker took over. “The first one of us to find a woman had to share.”

  Given where she lived, she felt her mouth drop open. “I’m sorry, what?”

  Robert shook his head. “Not like that. Not like Bliss share.”

  “What exactly are we talking about?” Jax stood in the doorway, Buster in his arms. For a gorgeous man with a ball of fluff, he was quite intimidating. He stared at the men in the room, his eyes all steely. “Because I can promise you despite the place we’re in there’s not going to be any sharing.”

  “No one thinks you will share woman with us,” Dante said, walking in behind him. He was rolling his dark eyes. “But if woman can cook, we do need help. Tucker turns into a whiny beast when he’s hungry. I can’t stand it. He won’t talk about anything but his gut. How he ever survived I have no idea.” Dante sat down next to Owen. “Keep your hands to yourself, Scot. I happen to know that Jax’s revenge is very terrible.” He shook his head, pointing at her TV. “Why do Americans need so much protection?”

  Robert stepped up. “Because we’re intelligent. You guys are like rams butting heads. And you’re one to talk, Sasha. You want to wear a fucking bulletproof vest everywhere.”

  Sasha shrugged. “I am very wanted man.” He winked River’s way. “By everyone. I also believe in using protection, unlike our Dante. How is venereal disease?”

  “Baszd meg,” Dante replied with a sneer. “And it has cleared up nicely.”

  “I’m perfectly venereal disease free,” Tucker told her. “If you want to pass that on to Heather, I would appreciate it. Big Tag made sure all the hookers were healthy.”

  “Excuse me.” He couldn’t have actually said what she thought he said.

  Robert shook his head. “How do I get you to stop talking about hookers, man? I told you no one wants to hear about your hookers.”

  “Nell told me we have to call them sex workers,” Owen added helpfully. “And if we get the chance, we’re supposed to help them unionize.”

  They were all insane.

  Jax had moved to her side. “I’ll get them to go to the diner in town. I’m sorry. They showed up this morning. I’ll get rid of them.”

  But she was laughing because they really were insane. And funny. And full of life. She didn’t understand half of what they said. These guys were obviously bonded closely and had a lot of inside jokes she didn’t completely get, but they were making her morning.

  Buster wiggled in Jax’s arms, pushing his nose her way. She took the puppy from him.

  “He pooped,” Jax informed her
.

  “Rule number one, guys, stop talking about poop.” She looked at Tucker. “And sex workers and chlamydia.”

  Dante shrugged. “It was syphilis. Doctor say he has not seen this for many years. My hooker was very exotic.”

  “All venereal diseases,” she said, biting back a laugh. “Now let’s talk about breakfast.”

  Jax followed her into the kitchen. “Are you okay with this? Because I can get rid of them.”

  “I don’t want to be gotten rid of,” Tucker said, looking at her over the bar. “I want to hang out here for the day. Ezra thinks things could get nasty, and I want some fun before they do.”

  “Nasty?” It was hard to concentrate when Buster was trying desperately to give her as many kisses as he could.

  “The weather,” Jax assured her. “It’s supposed to rain pretty hard.”

  Ah, she did know that much. “Yeah, I saw the forecast. I don’t think we’ll be able to go into the forest for a couple of days. Then we might want some time for the ground to dry. Setting up a tent in the mud isn’t fun.”

  She wasn’t upset about the bad weather now. Now, a few days of rain meant more time with Jax. And his weird pseudo family.

  She turned on the oven. “Someone’s going to have to take this one if I’m going to cook. And you guys are cleaning up.”

  Robert took Buster. “I like dogs. Hey, buddy. And I’m excellent at cleaning things up. It’s kind of become my job around here.”

  Tucker grinned and sat down at her bar. “I’ll watch you cook.”

  Jax sent him a nasty look.

  Tucker slid off the barstool. “Or I’ll watch the game where people hit each other and throws balls around. I’ll do that.”

  Jax put his hands on her hips, dragging her close. “And I’ll help you cook. Teach me so I can feed you in the mornings. After all, you satisfy me at night. I can do the same the next day.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Good morning, River.”

  Oh, he was going to kill her. Her stupid heart actually fluttered. “Good morning, Jax.”

  He kissed her again, slower this time, and she knew she was in way too deep in this particular pool.

  And she didn’t even want to get out.

  Chapter Ten

  Jax looked out at the rain and kind of wished it wouldn’t stop falling. It had been two days since that morning when he’d woken up and River hadn’t kicked them all out of her cabin, and it had been the best freaking two days of his life. He’d spent all his time with her. His brothers showed up for breakfast, and Tucker and Robert usually showed up for dinner. They’d gone out the night before, squeezing into a booth, with Heather along for the ride. Jax had sat next to River, sliding his arm around the back of the booth. It was a protective gesture. Well, that’s how she’d taken it. He’d rapidly learned that they could interpret things two completely different ways. She’d taken that arm around her as protective and it totally was. He was protective of her. He was also insanely possessive of her.

  He didn’t like the way one of her employees watched her. Ty treated her like a sister. Heather was obviously her best friend. But Andy was another story. When she wasn’t paying attention, Andy had a dark stare that made Jax wary. Perhaps if that same intense look had been in the man’s eyes all the time, he could have chalked it up to being his personality. But when River turned and looked at the man, he became smooth and laid back, his face changing with the ease of an actor.

  He didn’t like Andy. He didn’t like that Andy was currently walking around with Heather and River selecting camping gear.

  “Hey, did you find the torches?” Robert walked up, pushing a basket. “I mean flashlights. I spent too much time in England.”

  Jax turned from the window. They were currently in a large sporting goods store in Alamosa, almost fifty miles from Bliss. The front of the store boasted two large bay windows that looked out over the parking lot. He could see River’s Jeep, though it had the hardtop on it. He’d hated that. He liked driving with the wind whipping around him. “I put them in River’s basket. She’s looking at tents. She said campers usually bring their own and the one she’s got is meant for one person. It’s not big enough for more.”

  He took heart in that. She was buying a tent they would sleep in together. They would be out in the woods for a few days and then he had a decision to make.

  How much did he tell her? She knew what they were looking for. She wouldn’t be shocked when they found it. But she also wouldn’t know what they were really searching for.

  “You look like someone kicked your best friend,” Robert said. “Since I happen to know Buster is perfectly fine and no one has kicked Tucker since the soccer incident of yesterday, I have to figure this is about River. Have you changed your mind about her?”

  “Nope.”

  Robert nodded as though that had been the answer he expected. “Then you’re worried about what happens when we leave this place.”

  No one said Robert wasn’t a smarty pants. “A week or two isn’t enough. How do I know if I should stay with her? Hell, would I even be allowed to stay with her?”

  “I’m sure this is where Ariel would explain to you that what you’re feeling isn’t truly real. You’re imprinting on a person who’s being kind to you. That’s not truly love.” Robert frowned.

  He didn’t like the sound of that, but he was fairly certain that was what Ezra and Big Tag and the other guys thought, too. He was some idiot duckling following the first person he saw. “Is that what she told you when you said you cared about her?”

  Robert sighed. “Yes. She gave me a million and one explanations for why I feel the way I do about her. Desperation is a word that came up more than once. I’m sure she would say the same thing about you and River. You haven’t known River very long and you’ve never been in a relationship before.”

  “That we know of.” It haunted him, the idea that there could be someone out there who had depended on him, that he could have a wife and kids. He’d sat in bed thinking about it, thinking about what would happen if somehow his history was in that buried facility.

  Robert was thoughtful for a moment. “We’re fairly certain McDonald was careful with how she picked her subjects. It’s hard to completely erase a human being from existence. If you had a wife, she would have told someone you were missing. There would be traces of a search for you somewhere and Miles would have found it.”

  Adam Miles was an expert on missing persons. In their case, instead of trying to find someone who was gone, he was trying to piece together the identity of a person who had none. He’d been frustrated so far. What Robert said made sense. “McDonald wanted subjects no one would miss. Subjects without close family. That’s worse in a way.”

  Because he’d apparently had no one to miss him when he’d gone away. He’d been alone in the world.

  “There are a lot of scenarios,” Robert said. “But the most likely one is that you were alone and you worked for a Collective company or you were military. Hope McDonald’s father was a senator and he served on the Armed Services Committee for years before he died. We know he had deep ties with some of the darker elements of the intelligence community.”

  “So he could have easily made someone disappear. Especially if no one was looking for him.” He shook off the emotion. He had other bad shit to think about. “I don’t care what Ariel would say. I know how I feel about River. I don’t know if it’s love or not, but I like her. I want to spend time with her. I care about her.”

  He couldn’t use the “love” word. It hadn’t been long enough and it was a word he didn’t totally understand. Caring was better. He cared about what happened to River. He cared about his time with her.

  He cared about her enough to fight with Ezra over her. Big Tag had simply shaken his head and tried to explain that it wasn’t worth arguing over since it was obvious Jax’s dick was in charge now.

  He’d explained that if Ezra wanted him to stay at the big cabin and not with River, he would have to
drug him again and drag him out and lock him up. That was when Ezra had walked off, cursing under his breath.

  “I think Ariel is trying to let me down easy. She doesn’t feel the same way about me.” Robert crossed his arms over his chest. “She’s wrong. I care about her and it’s not because she was nice to me. A lot of women have been nice to me. I admit when I first got out, I was needy. I probably still am, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings for her.”

  “That was obvious when you flipped out because she wanted to leave The Garden with us.” Ariel had wanted to come along on this trip, to stay close to her patients and offer help to Ezra and Big Tag. Robert had vociferously objected. He’d been told to call it an objection instead of a hissy man fit. But Jax knew a man hissy when he saw one. “I think it was a mistake. You should have let her come with us. It’s been perfectly quiet. I think Ezra might have overstated the threat. There are a lot of ways they can get Dr. McDonald’s research that has nothing to do with kidnapping one of us and running tests. Ariel would have been safe.”

  Robert shook his head. “You’re wrong. They will come for us at some point. They burned Ezra because he wouldn’t turn us over. Bliss is a safe place. The fact that Henry is here will make a lot of people think, not to mention the sheriff and the others. We’re good while we’re in town. If it’s not the Agency, then it will be someone else. And they’ll use the people we care about. I can’t risk Ariel. She might not care about me, but I’m fairly certain I’m in love with her, and that means protecting her at all costs. And that’s why when you’re out in the woods with River, I want you to think before you make a single move. The Ranch is a powder keg and it’s waiting to go off.”

  He understood why Robert thought that way. “Because you think there are warring factions inside the Agency.”

  “Yes, that’s what Ezra firmly believes, and Big Tag backs him up,” Robert continued. “The Ranch is something neither have been willing to touch. It’s like they agreed to forget it existed until the administration changes and they can fight over it again. President Hayes is considered a do-gooder who won’t get his hands dirty. When he’s out of office, they’ll go to war over the information contained in that facility.”