by Beth Rinyu
“I was hoping to tell you yesterday, but since you blew me off for your retreat,” I teased, laughing at her flustered state. “I’m kidding. I know you didn’t blow me off. But a lot of things happened last week that I need to tell you about, and this is one of them.” I directed my attention toward Jack, who was sitting at his desk with his hands folded while the other kids ran amuck.
“And ‘this’ would be?” She raised an eyebrow.
“I’m going to be watching Jack for Simon.”
Her jaw dropped and she nodded, seeming a little stunned over the news.
“I know, I thought the same thing, me taking care of a kid…it’s just crazy, but Simon trusts me, and I don’t plan on letting him or Jack down.”
“No, no, no.” Hannah shook her head. “It’s not crazy at all. This is your new-fallen snow.”
“My what?”
“Remember when you talked about the beginning of a snow storm, and how pure the snow is before anyone tramples on it?”
I nodded, unable to believe that she’d actually remembered that.
“There’s a lovely fresh blanket of snow in your life, and you and only you are in control of who you allow to make those first footprints in it.”
Her words rendered me speechless. She was right. For the first time in a long time, I was in complete control of everything in my life, including my heart and who I allowed inside of it.
She placed her hand on my shoulder and flashed me that warm, caring smile I had become so familiar with. “I’d love to hear all about it. Maybe we can meet for dinner one night this week.”
“That sounds great.”
“Just call me and let me know which night works best for you.”
“I will.” I smiled.
“Sister Hannah. Sister Hannah.” We both averted our attention to the little redheaded girl, looking up at Hannah with big blue expressive eyes. “I had an accident,” she cried, pointing out the wet mark on her pants.
“Oh, Becky, that’s not a big deal. Let’s go get your change of clothes and we’ll take care of that.” Hannah handled the situation in her typical calm and loving fashion.
“I’ll let you get back to work, and I’ll be sure to call you.”
“Yes, don’t forget,” Hannah shouted, already making her way to the coat closet to get the little girl’s change of clothes.
I walked a few blocks from the school and took a seat on an empty bench while pulling up some recipes on my phone. Since I was in charge of dinner that night, I wanted to make sure I made Jack a good one. My hands trembled and I nearly dropped my phone when I saw Margo’s name flash across my screen just as I was thoroughly engrossed in a homemade mac and cheese recipe. I hit decline and a knot instantly formed in my stomach. She still had my phone number—as did my clients—and she knew where I lived. A chill shot through me just thinking about it, and it wasn’t from the cold temperature outside. Would I ever really be free of her evil reign?
Immediately calling my cell phone carrier, I requested a phone number change, making sure I only texted the new digits to the few people I wanted to have it—Paul, Trey, Hannah, Simon, and Jess. I bit my lip, still a little unnerved over the whole thing. Why would she be calling me a week after everything that had gone down in her office? The Margo I knew would never wait that long to say her piece. I was terrified of going back to my apartment for fear she’d be waiting there for me.
“Morning, ma’am. Do you care if I sit down here?” An older disheveled man with longer hair and a full beard broke me from my thoughts.
“Oh, sure,” I responded.
He flashed me a smile and I smiled back. His clothes were all ragged and worn, and the tip of his toe was sticking out through the old beat-up leather of his shoe.
“If nothing else good happens today, your smile was all I could have asked for.”
“Thanks.” I couldn’t help but smile once again. “I’m Aubree.” I extended my hand to him, taking him a little off guard.
“I’m…Keith.” He reluctantly shook my hand back.
I nodded. “So, Keith, do you live around here?”
“I guess you can say that. I live wherever I can find a warm spot to lie my head.” He confirmed my suspicions—he was homeless.
“Isn’t there a shelter you can go to?” I asked.
He nodded. “When it’s not too full.”
My heart ached for the poor man. Just when I thought my problems were out of control, he came along to show me that I could always be worse off.
“I was just heading into the bagel shop to get some breakfast and some coffee. Care to join me?
“Oh no, ma’am, that’s okay.”
I gazed at his thin frame, wondering when he had last eaten. “Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be right inside.” I pointed to the bagel shop a few feet away. “It’s nice and warm in there…and it’s my treat.” I was hoping I could entice him that way, but he still wasn’t biting.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Okay. It was really nice meeting you, Keith.”
“And you too, Miss Aubree, thank you for making an old man smile.”
I was an array of mixed emotions when I walked into the bagel shop: Sad, thinking about that poor man just outside the door. Nervous, remembering the phone call I had received a short time ago. Hopeful, when I thought about the past I was leaving behind and the future I was carving out for myself.
“What can I get ya, hon?” the lady behind the counter asked.
“Oh…umm.” I glanced up at the menu board, and then outside to the bench where Keith was still sitting. “I’ll take a plain bagel with scrambled eggs and cheese, and two large coffees to go.”
“You got it.”
I took a seat and waited for my order, looking up at the television to find a political ad featuring none other than Senator Mark Stevens. The bile rushed from my stomach and straight up my throat as the voice on the commercial rambled: Senator Stevens, putting women’s rights first. I breathed in deeply; it was taking everything in me to not throw something at the television. All the memories from that night came back to the forefront of my mind. He had gotten away with it. He had gotten away with beating the shit out of me, and then going on his merry way spreading his bullshit propaganda to advance his political career. While everyone else believed he was putting women’s rights first, I knew better. I hated him. I wanted him to pay for what he had done, now more than ever. I rummaged through my purse, pulling out the detective’s business card, rubbing my fingers over the letters in her name. I could do it. I needed to do it. I couldn’t let that son of a bitch get away with what he did to me.
“Miss, your order’s ready,” the woman behind the counter called, breaking me from my fleeting moment of courage.
I threw the card back in my purse and pulled it together. Paying for my food, I threw some extra creamer and sugar into the bag and headed back outside. Keith’s head was resting on the back of the bench with his face turned up to the sky. I wondered for a brief moment if he was dead or sleeping. Relief overcame me when his eyes peered open as I got closer.
“I’m sorry—were you sleeping?” I asked.
“No, no, just resting my eyes and enjoying the sunshine.”
I nodded. “Yeah, it is a pretty morning for sure, even if it is a little chilly.”
“Every day is a new beginning. That’s why I love the morning so much—because it’s proof that we’re always given second chances in life.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Oh, I know I am. It’s always darkest before dawn.” He shook his head. “I can’t think of any truer saying than that.”
“So, are you trying to make a wrong right?”
“Oh, honey, it’s too late for me to make anything right, but I am finally at peace with myself, and maybe that’s what a new beginning is all about—letting go of the wrong in your past because there’s nothing you can do to change it, and just being content in your present. Because the present is al
l we’re guaranteed in life.”
My eyes widened. Under the dirty beard and long hair was an intelligent, kind-hearted, gentle soul. I didn’t believe in angels, but Keith had me second-guessing that. “Oh, I know you said you didn’t want anything.” I snapped out of it and placed the coffee cup in his hand. “There’s some extra creamer and sugar in the bag.”
His smile was one of gratitude and disbelief. It was apparent that he hadn’t had anything nice done for him in a long while. “And, just in case you’re hungry, there’s a bagel sandwich in the bag too.”
“Thank you.” He looked down at the ground, seeming humbled.
“No, thank you, Keith.” I smiled. “I have to get going, but it was really nice meeting you.”
He nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “Miss Aubree!” he shouted once I was a few steps away.
“Yeah?” I turned around to face him.
“You’re an angel.”
“That’s funny, because I was just thinking the same about you.”
His smile faded into a puzzled expression.
“Enjoy the beautiful morning!” I gave him one last smile before turning around and going on my way. Keith had sat down on that bench for a reason, and as crazy as it sounded, I believed that reason was to help me move forward and stop dwelling on the past. Yes, I loathed Senator Stevens and what he had done to me. I hated Margo for allowing it to happen, and most of all I hated that life I once led. But Keith was right: there was nothing that could be done to change the past, so there was no use agonizing over it. So I was going to channel that energy into my future—taking care of Jack, taking care of myself, and doing my best to make Simon’s life easier. There was no room in my life for regret; I wouldn’t allow that. Instead, I was going to utilize my past mistakes as a bittersweet lesson that needed to be learned.
Chapter 26
Keeping busy while Jack was in school was a lot easier than I had thought. Feeling the need for a change, I stopped off at the salon on a whim, cutting my extra-long locks to just below my shoulders. When the stylist turned my chair around for the big reveal, I couldn’t hold back my smile. In addition to loving my hair, I actually liked the girl I saw staring back at me in the mirror.
“Don’t you just love it?” Carlos, my stylist, asked.
“I-I really do.” My voice cracked with emotion.
“Oh, honey, don’t cry.”
“They’re happy tears.” I shook my head from side to side, watching my blond tresses move along with me. “It’s just so perfect.”
“I hope you have something special planned tonight, because, sweetheart, you look gorgeous.” Carlos stood behind me, talking to my reflection as he ran his fingers through my hair, admiring his work.
“You have no idea how much I love it. I cannot thank you enough.”
He shook his head and smiled. “You’re my masterpiece of the day—maybe even the entire month! Now go out and grab some lunch with a special guy…maybe?”
I looked down at my watch, seeing that it was nearing two o’clock. “Actually, that special guy just happens to be five years old and needs to be picked up from school in about twenty minutes.”
“Then let’s get you out of here.” Carlos removed my cape and wiped any excess hair from my back.
I stood up and stretched my legs, unable to resist glancing in the mirror one last time before going up to the counter to pay. I walked out of the salon and into the bright sunlight, feeling fresh and new, having reinvented myself both emotionally and now physically.
I waited outside the school, finally spotting Jack looking as adorable as ever when he approached me with a mile-wide grin on his face. “How was school today?” I asked, taking his backpack from him and flinging it over my shoulder.
“Good.” He squinted up at me, still sporting a cute little smile.
I had been wondering if he’d notice my hair. If he did, he didn’t say so, but I didn’t expect a five-year-old to be astute to that type of thing.
“So, we just have to run to the store and grab some things for dinner, and then we’ll head home.”
“Okay.” He reached for my hand, and we walked in silence until reaching the corner market right up the street from Simon’s house. “Do you know how to cook?” Jack asked as we stepped inside.
“Sure,” I fibbed. I knew how to do the basics, but after finding a recipe online that would allow me to disguise some vegetables from Jack inside a pasta dish, I’d decided to give it a try.
We scoured the tiny aisles until I found everything I needed. Jack’s eyes lit up at the sight of the giant dinosaur cookies at the register. I grabbed one and threw it on the counter with the rest of my items.
“Is that for me?” He smiled, and I nodded. “But Daddy always told Mrs. Webb that I was only allowed to have healthy snacks after school.”
“Who’s Mrs. Webb?” I asked.
“She used to take care of me after school, but she moved someplace far away so now she can’t watch me anymore.”
“Well, your daddy never told me anything about healthy snacks, so it’ll be okay.” I was fairly certain Simon assumed that I was going to steer Jack away from junk food, but it wasn’t in my manual so therefore it was okay to let him enjoy a cookie—if only for today.
Jack insisted on carrying the bags the short way back to the house. I offered to lighten his load when I saw him struggling, but he refused. He was breathing heavily by the time we got inside. I knew some of it was a little exaggeration on his part, but I played along.
“Wow you’re very strong to be able to manage all those bags on your own.” I turned around and giggled.
He climbed up to the breakfast bar, still feigning breathlessness.
“You think that cookie would help you get some of your energy back?”
He smiled and nodded eagerly.
I took out the carton of milk from the fridge and opened each cabinet until I found the one containing the glasses. “Here you go,” I said, placing the glass of milk and cookie in front of him. I got so much enjoyment over watching him eat it.
After we took Macy out for a short walk to do her business, Jack sat at the breakfast bar for the rest of the afternoon, watching cartoons and drawing, redirecting me every now and then as I tried to familiarize myself with where things were in the kitchen as I prepared dinner.
I was quite pleased with the outcome of my dinner, and if I had to guess, I’d say Jack was too, after cleaning his plate and then going back for seconds, never knowing there were broccoli and carrots hiding under the surface.
“That was yummy!” He patted his belly and let out a loud burp, causing us both to spew with laughter.
After cleaning up from dinner, I followed Jack’s lead with his bedtime ritual. I drew him a bath and washed his hair, allowing him to play in the bubbles with his army men for a while. “Are you ready to get out?” I asked, looking at his shriveled-up fingers.
He nodded and I rinsed him off, wrapping him up in a fluffy, oversized towel. He dressed into his warm footie pajamas and we headed back downstairs to watch some television. We were just settling into a Disney movie when Macy began to bark.
“Hey,” Simon said, standing in the living room door, looking thoroughly exhausted.
“Daddy!” Jack jumped off the couch and into Simon’s arms. After a few dozen kisses and hugs, Simon placed him down and focused his attention on me.
“Your hair. You cut it.”
I nodded, unsure if the bewildered look on his face meant that he liked it or hated it.
“It looks—wow! You look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I whispered.
Jack hopped back on the couch and touched my hair, taking me off guard when he threw his arms around me and hugged me. I awkwardly hugged him back, but it didn’t take too long before I found comfort in his embrace.
“Daddy, I had two platefuls of dinner,” Jack boasted.
“You did?” Simon responded.
“Yes, he did,” I added. �
�And I saved you a plate as well.”
He flashed a hesitant grin.
“What? It was really good. And no, it wasn’t hot dogs!” I teased.
“I suppose I’m up for an adventure.”
“Wow, I’m offended,” I joked.
“I’m kidding, Bree. I’d love to taste your cooking,” he responded as he loosened his tie.
“It was really good, Dad!” Jack chimed in.
We went into the kitchen and Simon grabbed the plate.
“Sit, I got it.” I took it from his hand and heated it up.
“So how did today go?” Simon asked, raking his hand through his hair and yawning.
“It was awesome.” I smiled
“And Bree let me have a giant cookie after school,” Jack blurted out.
“What?”
I shrugged when Simon shook his head at me. “It wasn’t in the manual to not allow him a cookie as an after-school snack.”
We both succumbed to our laughter at the same time. Turning around, I took Simon’s plate from the beeping microwave and placed it in front of him.
“Oh, I gotta go—Spacemaster is on!” Jack hopped off the stool and ran into the living room.
“So, how is it?” I asked, taking a seat next to Simon.
“It’s actually quite good.”
“Ha! Told ya! And it’s got broccoli and carrots hidden in there, which Jack ate with no problem at all.”
“Aren’t you creative?”
“I am.” I smirked.
“Sorry I didn’t get a chance to call all day to see how things were going. It was just nonstop. Besides, I figured if you had a question about something that wasn’t in your manual, you’d call.”
I rolled my eyes, trying not to smile over his sarcasm.
“I did get your text with your new number, though. What was that all about?”
I looked down and began to nervously fold the napkin on the breakfast bar. “I got a phone call from my old boss today.”
He took a sip of water and his eyes widened.