by Janae Keyes
I’d given Langston a lengthy time off. As I was spending much more time in London, that meant Langston had to spend more time away from his family, and it wasn’t fair to him. I had my own cars and could drive myself, plus there was the second driver on staff, Chris.
I reached over to Taylor, gently caressing her warm cheek. I saw the smile that spread across her face. We were together, yet the tension between us stood, I knew why it was there and it was my fault. I’d never been one not to have words, but Taylor had rendered me speechless on many occasions. Seeing her with me, with the sun shining off her warm mocha face, it gave me a smile, but no exact words.
Turning down a road, we drove a bit before we’d reached our destination and Taylor’s eyes widened at the sight in front of us, Amberley Castle. The over nine hundred- year-old fortified castle was currently run as a hotel with fantastic gardens, the perfect day escape for Taylor and I.
I parked the car, and Taylor stepped out into the cool air. After two hours in the car, it was nice to stretch our limbs finally. Taylor pulled on her white peacoat, and I rounded the car to her, taking her hand and intertwining our fingers.
We strolled together into the garden of the old castle. I knew the owners and had informed them I’d be visiting with someone special. It would be the perfect day for Taylor and I, plus a chance to be alone and talk.
“It’s so pretty,” Taylor mentioned as she took in everything around us. Fall had really begun to show its true colors. The trees were filled with shades of red, yellow, and orange. Fallen leaves were scattered around. Taylor was in her element, colors all around.
Taylor began to collect large fallen leaves. They came in all of the shades of autumn and each their own possessed a certain beauty. Taylor’s mind was always turning with ideas, and I knew she had one in mind for her leaves, but we were here for a reason. We had to work through the issues we had, and we would do so together.
“Glad you like it here,” I commented as I pulled her to a stone bench in a secluded area. I sat down and pulled her into my lap. I needed her as close to me as possible. I inhaled her vanilla scent. It was as mesmerizing as it was the first time I held her in my arms.
Taylor peered into my eyes. I studied her face. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be fine, but I didn't quite know if it was and I didn’t want to continue my spreading of lies. There was a possibility of our happy ending, yet a possibility of the opposite.
“I know we have some issues,” I started.
“Major issues,” Taylor added.
“Darling, I love you. You’re mine, and I know you know it. I'm never letting you go.”
“The thing is, you might have to let me go. I'm not going to wait around for you forever Nate.” There were tears in her eyes. I knew she'd leave if she needed to. I knew she could survive on her own without me.
“I know you're not happy with me. We've fought about it and made up multiple times in the past week. I brought you out here so we can find clarity,” I expressed.
“I think we're perfectly clear. I'm your mistress. I'm not made to be your wife.”
“Don't say that,” I hissed angrily. When Taylor spoke that way, she made herself sound less than she was. She was the top of the top, and when she called herself my mistress, she placed herself a step below of where she belonged as the woman on my arm who I called mine and who the world knew belonged to me.
“Don’t tell me it's not true when I know it is. You don’t have the balls to stand up to your family, and if I'm to love you, I have to get used to my role.” Taylor stood from my lap. She walked away. I could hear her heartbreaking sobs.
I was a complete fuck up when it came to her. She meant so much to me and yet I continued to fail her. She deserved so much more than what I gave her.
Standing, I jogged to catch up with her. I had to take a stand, show her that she was mine. I wouldn’t let her leave me nor my life. I had to fight for what belonged to me.
I took her arm and twirled her around to face me. Grabbing her by the base of the neck, I brought my mouth to hers and hungrily devoured her. She melted instantly.
“I fucking love you, Taylor. You hear me?” I growled, she nodded.
“Lord Branagan, your lunch awaits,” called a voice. I pulled away slightly from Taylor.
“We are going to make this work. There is work to be done, but never doubt my love for you,” I insisted.
“And if I do?” a sneaky grin found its way to Taylor’s face.
This was us. Playful and sensual. If only we could always be in that mode, yet we continued to yo-yo.
“You’ll be punished,” I noted sternly.
“I look forward to it, my Lord.”
With no words, I wiped the remnants of her tears away before I took her by the hand. We strolled together toward the castle, a delicious lunch waiting for us in the restaurant.
Taylor looked a tad less tense after our talk. We still had some things to clarify, and hopefully, I was able to convince her to stay for now. I was never one to feel weak or powerless, but without Taylor, that is exactly the realm where I ended up. Weak and plowing toward my own self-destruction.
Sipping her drink, Taylor glanced out at the grounds of the estate. We'd have much more time to explore after our lunch.
“So peaceful out here,” Taylor commented.
“It truly is wonderful.”
“Yeah, thanks for bringing me.” Her voice was sweet, the one thing keeping me going, knowing I’d hear her sweet voice day after day, at least for now.
“You’re welcome, my darling.”
“I'm still a little angry about it, you know?”
I knew exactly what she was talking about. Having lied about what happened with Miranda, I'd broken the trust Taylor had explicitly given me.
“I know. I'm so sorry about it, and I'm mostly sorry that I lied. I know I have to earn your trust back and I'm going to do it.”
“You better.”
It was obvious we were both tired of the fighting that ensued between us when it came out our situation as we left it at that.
MY BEAUTY SLEPT the entire way back to London. In the quiet of the car, I’d parked in front of the house. I hated that I had to wake her from her gentle slumber. Moving a stray piece of hair from her face, she stirred away. Brown eyes fluttered open and looked at me, a smile on her lips.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’ve been so tired suddenly,” she mentioned with a yawn.
“It’s fine, my darling,” I murmured.
The two of us left the car and walked into the house. The scent of dinner wafted through the hall and into the entrance way. I couldn’t wait to see what was cooked up for Taylor and myself tonight, but the look on Taylor’s face said otherwise.
“What’s wrong?”
“My stomach churned at the smell, sorry. I think I’m going to lie down,” Taylor mentioned as she started toward the stairs.
I watched her scale the staircase and disappear around the corner toward her room. Something wasn’t quite right with her, she was possibly coming down with something, we’d have to wait and see.
In the meantime, I got a nice cold glass of water for Taylor and found her in bed. I set the water on her bedside table and climbed into bed with her, my arms around her. I inhaled her sensual scent; vanilla filled my nostrils as I buried my face into the back of her neck.
“I had fun today,” she commented as she slightly pulled away from me and pulled her body into a sitting position. “I’m not one hundred percent okay with how things are between us, but accepting it is the only way I can justify it to myself.”
“I understand.”
“I love you, and maybe I’m setting myself up for heartbreak, but right now I only want my heart filled with you. It is the dumbest decision, I know it, but I’d rather be broken hearted later and happy right now,” she explained her logic. It broke my heart yet made me happy at the same time. She’d picked a life with me for the time being. I
couldn’t ask her for much more than that.
“I’m going to make this right, for both of us. I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, please,” she begged. I could hear it in her voice. She was fighting once more for her emotions not to spill over. Taylor was as strong as they came, but lately, she’d been weakened by the pull and torture of love.
We sat silent for a few minutes, Taylor leaning into my body. I always let the world see a certain side of me, a businessman with no interest in the feelings of others. One day Taylor showed up in my life, a force to be reckoned with, a strong woman who couldn’t be frightened by my usual antics. She never backed down and fought to set me free. She’d opened the lock, but I wasn’t completely free. There was still that hold of loyalty that my family held over me. Breaking it was a difficult task, but for the sake of my cold heart, I had to find a way.
“I think about our future all the time,” I said. Taylor turned to me, a grin on her face. I think she knew my vision of the future was a positive one, filled with the two of us together. “Getting married, escaping to Branagan Manor, having a couple of kids.”
“A couple kids?” Taylor questioned, an unmistakable grin on her warm chocolate face.
“At least two of course. A boy and a girl.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“You can paint all you want and the children can learn from the best, their mother.”
“Obviously.”
“We can grow old together.”
Taylor didn’t say anything, but her smile said it all. She knew my vision of our future and knew it didn’t involve me without her. She was always in my future, and I wasn’t going to allow anything to change that. I’d fight to the death to give Taylor the life she deserved, with me and only me.
FIFTEEN
Taylor
THE DAYS EASILY passed. I woke up every morning with Nate, went to work, and came home to him every evening. Reluctantly, I placed my trust back in him and expected him to show me the same respect, I was possibly expecting too much of him, but it was how I kept our peace and kept my heart from shattering at his hands once again.
I awoke to the cool Sunday morning. Nate slept next to me. His hand rested on my thigh, I didn’t want to leave his warmth, yet I had to go. I’d made plans with myself to go for a run. I was suddenly packing on weight, and it could have been all the good food or the lack of exercise as I was no longer taking public transport to get where I needed to be at all times.
Slipping into the cool air of the room, I found my robe, folded neatly on the bedside table as Nate had instructed I do the night before. He’d introduced me to a new tool that still caused a sting to radiate through my back. I wouldn’t forget my first night with the flogger, and I knew it wouldn’t be my last.
I put on my robe and jogged down the hall to my bedroom. I quickly dressed and left the house behind. The stroll to the Kensington Gardens was only a minute or two. I stretched and then I was off. The crispness of fall felt great as I jogged past the gorgeous brick castle that had once been home to Princess Diana.
There was a lot on my mind besides Nate. Work was a challenge, but a challenge I invited. There were a ton of new exhibits going up, and I still had to find time to paint new pieces for the one I’d be featured in. When I had time, I’d taken my easel, and some paints to my office where I worked on a few paintings that I hoped would go in the future exhibit. My parents were excited and I’d already gotten plane tickets for them. I was awaiting word from Katie on if she and Jordan would be able to come.
Reaching the end of Hyde Park, I turned back to run back the length of Hyde Park before I took a calming stroll back through the Kensington Gardens. It was early and most others in the park were doing the same as me and taking an early run or bike ride.
Through Kensington Gardens I walked slowly, taking in the sights and appreciating the opportunities that allowed me to live in such a beautiful place. It was all thanks to Nate, who didn’t have to offer anything to me after I’d left, but he did so out of his love for me.
I sat on a bench and pulled out a plastic bag that had a few pieces of stale bread that Sara was going to toss, but I’d saved to feed to the birds. I mashed the bread into crumbs and tossed it onto the path where a group of pigeons began to grow.
At once there was a presence next to me on the bench I’d sat on. I turned to see a woman sitting next to me, and I knew her right away.
“Good morning Taylor,” Miranda sang cheerfully.
“Er--good morning,” I responded nervously. I hadn’t known she was in town. The last I’d heard she’d gone to Paris to meet with more wedding dress designers.
“It’s beautiful out.”
“It is.”
“I wanted to talk about something with you Taylor,” she began. Her eyes caught mine, and her sickening sweet smile stayed plastered on her face. Passersby would instantly assume we were old friends out for a morning stroll, but that was far from the truth. “I need you to keep far away from Nathaniel.”
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t play silly, little girl. I know about the two of you. When Evangeline pointed out your necklace and how their grandmother had a similar brooch, it all made sense to me. You’re the reason Nathaniel is keeping himself distant. He’s fucking you. When you left Branagan Manor, he completely shut down, and I never understood why. Then there was his trip to San Francisco and the change in his mood when you moved here. You are the distraction I need out of my way.” Miranda didn’t mess around and got straight to business. I glanced away and down at the birds who were still enjoying the bread crumbs.
“Nate is my friend, and I’m not going to leave because you’ve told me,” I said, trying to remain emotionless, but I was in a fighting battle as recently I felt like my emotions had been freed and every little thing made me emotional.
“I know you’re more than friends. Don’t try and pretend, stupid little girl. I’ve seen the way you look at one another. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. He loves you, but that can’t continue much longer. He and I are getting married in March. There won’t be much room for you in there, dear.” Miranda had this air about her, she was condescending and wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Here is your warning Taylor. Leave Nathaniel alone, go fuck someone else. He’s marrying me. I’m giving you two weeks. If not gone in two weeks, I will show you exactly what I can do.”
Miranda stood, leaving me stunned. She walked toward one of the park entrances and got into the back of an awaiting black SUV. She expected me to walk away from Nate and everything I held with him; she had another thing coming. I was suddenly torn, did I tell Nate what happened or did I keep it to myself. He was already stressed out as it was and I didn’t want to add more with Miranda’s childish games.
Returning to the house, I felt sick to my stomach. Miranda had shocked me with her threats. I took them lightly, yet I couldn’t seem to shake them, and the churning in my stomach was a definite sign of them.
Going up the stairs, my feelings of nausea grew stronger. I held it back until I reached the top of the staircase, where I saw Nate emerge from his room, his smile as sexy as ever, but the bile rising in my throat would keep me from experiencing my man.
I tore through my bedroom door and into my en suite bathroom. Head over the toilet I vomited the small bit I had on my stomach and quickly it was followed by the bitter taste of stomach acid.
Hands rubbed my back. It was Nate comforting me as I chucked up everything that could come out of my stomach. I felt miserable, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop.
When my vomiting finally subsided, Nate helped me to my bed. He sat me down and pulled off my running shoes, he took off my jacket and tucked me into bed. He left a kiss on my forehead before he left the room, only to return moments later with a glass of water and a plate of crackers.
“Sara is making you some tea,” Nate informed me as he sat on the edge of the bed. He moved hair from my face and ca
ressed my cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“Queasy,” I answered honestly, my body exhausted and not feeling its best.
“Rest, my darling,” Nate instructed. I’d been working extremely hard and pushing my body beyond its limits in my professional life and in the bedroom. It was time to take a pause; my body was screaming at me to do so.
“I need it,” I told him as I moved to sit up slightly.
Nate went into a frenzy, he took ahold of me and helped me up. I reached for my glass of water, and he quickly took it for me and placed it to my lips. Nate had never seen me ill before, and he was going above and beyond to care for me.
I took a few sips of water from the glass. I gave Nate a nod for him to take it away. He slipped into bed with me and pulled me against his bare chest. Inhaling, normally his scent of pine and myrrh comforted me, but today it caused my stomach to turn. I pulled slightly away to catch my breath.
“You okay, my darling?”
“I’m fine, just still a little gross feeling. I don’t want to give you whatever I have,” I noted to Nate. He gave me a comforting smile before placing his lips on my forehead in a gentle kiss.
“Don’t worry about me. I just want you to get better. I was planning to run into the office today, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying with you all day.” Tears burned in the brim of my eyes, Nate showed a hard exterior to the world, but with me, he showed who he really was, a teddy bear.
Resting in Nate’s arms, Miranda’s word echoed in my ears. “If not gone in two weeks, I will show you exactly what I can do.” What exactly could she do? Miranda was a sheltered princess who had nothing, but money at her disposal, she hadn’t lived or been through anything. She’d never had to work a day in her life and life was handed to her on a silver platter, she wouldn’t be handed anything now. I wasn’t going to allow her to shake me.