The Nerdy Necromancer (The Deadicated Matchmaker Book 1)

by S. E. Babin

  I held open the back door. “Enter then.”

  Lucien brushed past me, the crisp scent of his cologne tickling my nose.

  “Coffee?” I asked. “Although you have to leave my mug here this time.”

  “Please,” he said.

  I got two mugs down and motioned for him to sit. “This had better be good,” I told him.

  Lucien chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I’m fired,” he said as he rubbed his face with both hands.

  “You probably deserved it.” I handed him over a mug. I added a splash of cream to it because he looked like the kind of guy who liked his coffee a little lighter.

  “Thanks.” Margo lay at his feet, though she was alert to all of his movements. He looked at her and let out a soft chuckle. “She’s ferocious.”

  “She is.” I didn’t realize she was until today, but I liked it. “Start talking. First tell me why you were creeping around my backyard.”

  Lucien scratched his cheek. “When this land came for sale, my bosses were slobbering at the bit to buy it, but the entity selling it wouldn’t even entertain their offers.” He chuckled at the memory. “Imagine how livid they were when they found out who actually bought it. They couldn’t figure it out. How a single woman had managed to outbid them all.”

  I hadn’t outbid anyone. I made an offer. Within twenty-four hours, it was accepted and it took about a month to finalize. I kept quiet and let him talk. I didn’t know Lucien well enough to trust him with any information yet.

  “I was tasked to watch your property. If anything odd or strange happened or if anyone who didn’t live here came off the land and we didn’t see them arrive, I was required to report it.”

  “Did you see anything?”

  He shook his head. “Never. The most excitement around here came a couple of days ago as I’m sure you remember.”

  “You saw.” My hands clenched around my mug.

  Lucien’s presence filled my kitchen. Where Hank had a quiet, soothing energy, Lucien brought with him an electric energy. He sucked the oxygen out of the room. There was something about him that both attracted and repelled me and I wanted to make sure I chose my words around him carefully.

  “I did. I’ve been watching for awhile.” At my look, he cringed. “I’m sorry. I know it sounds bad, but it was part of my job.” His mouth turned down on one side. “There was something odd about that day. As vamps, we can feel the ebb and flow of death. We’re in tune with the veil between the living and the dead. Something happened with the veil that day, though I don’t know if you had something to do with it.”

  I swallowed hard. “What do you mean?”

  Lucien shook his head. “It’s hard to explain. The veil is just...there. It’s steady. The only ripples we feel in the veil come around Halloween when it’s weaker. And when you do your work, though that is only a small whisper. But that day, there was a reverberation that all of us felt.”

  My hand reached up to touch my mouth. Crap.

  “Helen?”

  I blinked. “Keep going. You were trespassing because…?”

  “This is going to sound ridiculous. My bosses think there’s something on your property that links to the Deadication Dating Agency. They’ve been wanting rights to that building for years, but Portia has refused to entertain any meetings. They feel like if they had this land, they would have access to her.”

  “That sounds crazy,” I said. It would sound nuts to someone who wasn’t me, but Lucien didn’t know what I had here and, if he was to be believed, neither did his bosses.

  “I’m just the guy that has to take the orders.”

  “Ever thought about getting a new job?” I asked.

  He let out a low chuckle. “I think that’s turning more and more into a reality. Especially after cocking this up.”

  Margo growled.

  “I get it, puppy. I’m a jerk.”

  She let out a soft whoof.

  He sipped his coffee. “I’d be careful. They’ve had their sights set on you for awhile.”

  “Great. Not much to see here. I’m pretty boring.”

  A smile played over his generous lips. “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “Normally that would be sweet, but since you’ve had me under surveillance for at least a year, it just sounds creepy.”

  He had the grace to look sheepish. “Fair enough.” He pushed his mug away. “Allow me to make this up to you. Are you free on Saturday?”

  I laughed. Expecting him to follow suit, my laughter faded when he only stared at me expectantly. “Wait. What?”

  “Dinner,” Lucien elaborated. “I’m asking you to dinner.” He stood, carefully avoiding Margo.

  “Why?” I blurted.

  “Because I met you less than a few hours ago and managed to make a right ass out of myself twice. That has to be a record. But that isn’t the only reason. I find you quite intriguing, Helen Reaper. On the surface you seem like a comfortable introvert, but on the inside, I know you have a sharp mind and an even sharper wit.” He lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “Color me intrigued.”

  At my pause, he pulled out a business card from his shirt pocket. He scrawled his cell phone number on the back and laid it on the counter. “Say yes, Helen Reaper.”

  He went back out the way he came in which made me laugh. I picked up the business card and put it in my purse so I wouldn’t lose it. I didn’t know what I was going to say yet, but Lucien was terribly charming.

  Still, I’d just caught him trespassing on my land.

  That’s a weird way to get asked out on a date.

  8

  After Lucien left I was discombobulated. On one hand, he was super cute. On the other, I wasn't so sure he was trustworthy. But something was bothering me. The note the agency had left me stated my soulmate was dead. Of course, in this town, that meant undead. Hopefully.

  Hank was a ghoul, though I had yet to see him eat anything weird.

  Lucien was a vampire with pristine manners and a possibly untrustworthy soul.

  Except...I didn't know either man very well. Hank a little more because I'd been using his nursery for quite awhile. He was a big grump and found my hair to be offensive. Again, he thought I was annoying, too.

  Lucien, on the other hand, comes onto my property, insults me, then gets caught trespassing red-handed. As soul mate material went, but both of these men weren't high up on my potential mate list. But...both of them were attractive. Hank in a rumpled sort of sweet way. Lucien in a men's cologne and underwear ad kind of way.

  But the bigger question was...which one was it? The rational part of me leaned toward Lucien.

  Or was it either of them?

  Margo curled up next to me on the couch as I went through the massive stack of books I'd brought out from my lab. One of them caught my eye: Through the Veil and Beyond: A Study of What Comes After Death.

  That one could work. Even if it was all theoretical. I'd seen this one before but hadn't thought to pick it up. I was more interested in whether I needed to change the bindings up or in any way alter my ritual. Stupid me. I was more concerned with their appearance and how it would affect my clients rather than a fundamental change in their behavior.

  I set that one to the side and continued to go through my pile. After setting aside three more books, my stomach began to growl. I grabbed my cell and dialed Pepper.

  "Dude!" she shouted into the phone. "Whatcha doing?"

  I grinned. She sounded happy. Like she always did. "I'm reading."

  "Boo. Hiss," she said. "Want to grab a bite?"

  I did. "I do. I haven't been out the house since the court date."

  "Let's do it. Meet me at the shop. Wear something cute. We need to try the new restaurant that just opened up."

  "Done. Give me thirty."

  "Look. Cute," Pepper emphasized. "Not like you're a bookworm who doesn't want to be there."

  "I'm wounded," I said, deadpan.

  "Good," Pepper said. The phone beeped as she hung up on
me.

  I snuggled Margo. "She's making me get dressed," I whined. "Want to come with me?"

  She put a paw on her nose and stared up at me. "Yeah. I already have regrets."

  Ten minutes later I had on a pair of dark skinny jeans, black wedges, and a turquoise tunic. I'd brushed my hair, put on a new pair of contacts and even put on a light coat of makeup. I debated about Margo, but decided that so far she'd been a great girl. I let her out and while she was running around doing her business, I fixed her a plate of food and refilled her water. She came running back in and attacked the food with vigor.

  "I'll be back in two hours," I said.

  Margo ignored me.

  I flipped on the Food Network so she'd have something to listen to and grabbed my purse and headed out.

  Pepper's shop looked magical. Of course, just about everything was magical here, minus the couple hundred humans who lived here, but Pepper's shopped just screamed I'M A WITCH. There was a crooked little sign announcing the name of her nursery written in cute curly q font. The building was painted teal and white and there wasn't a single available space where either a plant or a knick knack hadn't been crammed. Little toadstools lined the walkway up to her shop. Creeping rosemary and thyme curled close to my feet as I walked to the entrance. Above me was an arbor carefully cultivated with climbing jasmine, moonflowers, and wisteria. How that wisteria hadn’t sent the arbor crashing down, I would never know.

  Hank might have had a gift for plants, but Pepper had a gift for nursery pizzazz. Everything I touched I itched to buy. She carefully chose her plants based upon their aesthetics, their magical properties and their scent patterns. Granted, she had a lot of flowers with no scent, but she also had tons of flowers with gorgeous heady scents that filled my head. I just felt good when I came into her store. Whether it was the plants, the kitschy knick-knacks scattered everywhere or the positivity charm she had hanging above the door, I didn't care.

  Pepper's place was awesome.

  I pushed through the door sending the harmony bell above my head jingling through the store. I inhaled the scent of the tobacco flowers she had growing right by the entrance. Incense and something else added to those scents made it an intoxicating combination. I called her name but no one answered. I walked through marveling at the new arrivals of stained glass and goddess water fountains until I found her in the classroom at the very back of the store.

  I peeked through the window and gave her a little wave. She held a finger up and I turned to explore the rest of her shop. It had been a couple of weeks since I'd been in and she'd rearranged it...again. She claimed it was due to feng shui and energy, but I just thought she had too much nervous energy and needed to stay busy.

  Maybe good feng shui helped that. I wouldn't know feng shui if it bit me in the butt, but I liked my reading chair positioned with its back toward the kitchen so I wouldn't have to turn the living room light on to read. It was both energy savvy and lazy, two of my favorite things.

  Five minutes later my friend exited the classroom and gathered me in a hug. She smelled like sage and jasmine. Wild black hair curled around her face and her pretty blue eyes were accentuated with gold eyeliner. "Karina is back there. We have a Wicca for Beginners class going on." She rolled her eyes. "It's the newest batch of human high schoolers. We could teach them about Wicca until we’re blue in the face, but they’re never going to get it until they realize the only tools they need to perform real magic are inside of them." Pepper grinned. "But until then, we have this fancy bunch of hand crafted wands we upsell by three hundred percent!"

  I snickered and leaned over the case to look at the overpriced wands. "They're pretty," I remarked.

  "They sure are. And about as magical as my left toe."

  I gave her the once over. "Maybe my left toe. Yours is pretty magical."

  "True," she said, "but you get my drift."

  I did. Pepper was always bitching about the Wiccans. As a powerful hereditary witch, Pepper couldn't stand to see someone's potential wasted with what she called "pansy" magic. By this she meant the whole law of attraction thing that had become so popular over the last five years. This was the kind of magic where you sent your request out into the universe and thought positively. She equated her Wicca classes to this, but when she tried to change them to get into the deep roots of magic, her students dropped exponentially. So she was forced to go where the market was. Light magic, woo woo light stuff, and upselling products she didn't think people needed. Pepper might have been a witch first, but she was a businesswoman second, and if people wanted to spend too much on pretty wooden wands, she was going to give it to them. And then bitch to me in private.

  "Where are we going?" I asked as Pepper dragged her jacket on. I was pleased to say she no longer looked like a Harley Quinn goth queen, but she still looked pretty over the top. That was just Pepper.

  She wore a blue and white tartan skirt because she had announced she was binge watching Doctor Who for the next two months, a white collared camp shirt, and a pair of black combat boots. If anyone who wasn't a Doctor Who fan saw her, they'd probably think she just looked like a rebellious Catholic school drop out.

  "Marco's," she said. "It's about time we got a good Mexican restaurant in this place." She grabbed her keys and headed out of the shop, flipping her sign to Closed and punching a code in the locking pad on her door. Her assistant would let the students out later, but locking them in meant Karina wouldn't have to deal with customers while she was teaching.

  I headed around to the passenger side of Pepper’s small pickup truck. As much as she hated having to drive a truck, she needed it to haul plants and other things to and from her nursery. She wasn't like Hank in that she grew everything from seed. Pepper was more of a plant hunter. She researched, shopped around, and would usually drive at least a few hours to pick up a new plant that caught her eye.

  I slid into the seat and got a whiff of loamy earth. Double checking to make sure I wasn't sitting in dirt, I discreetly wiped the seat before Pepper unlocked her door.

  "I saw that," she said.

  "I don't often dress up. I don't want any mud on me."

  She rolled her eyes. "Dirty is the new black."

  "No. It isn't, dork."

  "I picked up some corpse plants," she said, her eyes sparkling as she checked her mirrors. "I've never been able to get those before. They are going to smell so bad when they finally bloom!" She cackled as she pulled out of the lot.

  "Can't wait," I said, my tone dry as dust.

  "You're going to be front row! People drive for miles to see this kind of stuff. Speaking of that, when do I get to see the layout Hank came up with?"

  We chatted for awhile about the permaculture plan until she pulled into a brightly lit restaurant. On the top of the building was a massive sign with three neon Mariachi players that lit up in time with the music blaring from the speakers.

  "My," I said. "This is loud."

  "Right?" Pepper exclaimed, enthralled. "I've been wanting to try this place for weeks!"

  I was a little less excited because the parking lot was jam packed with people. "Don't worry," Pepper said as she climbed out, "I used that new app to reserve us a seat. We shouldn't have to wait long at all."

  We pushed through the doors only to get assaulted with the spicy scent of salsa, sizzling meat, and people. We had to practically elbow our way up to the front. Pepper gave the hostess our names and the woman smiled at us and grabbed two menus.

  "Right this way."

  We got some dirty looks but I kept mumbling to everyone, "We used an app, we used an app." No one cared.

  I followed Pepper to our seats marveling at the decor of the place. Used hubcaps were attached to the ceiling. The floors were a bright, searing orange, and the music was a cross between mariachi and hip-hop which was so weird I wanted to put my hands over my ears and yell make it stop! But Pepper seemed to fit right in. She waved at a bunch of people she knew and I smiled politely at them even as thei
r mouths turned down once they saw me. Funny. I lived in a town full of paranormals where most couldn't step outside of the boundaries of Midnight Cove because of their appearance, and they still judged me. Sometimes I wanted to grab them by the shoulders, shake them, and scream, "DO YOU NOT SEE THE TUSKS COMING OUT OF YOUR HEAD?" Their prejudices against me were bizarre especially when I had no doubt they'd spent most of their lives being judged. But this is what Midnight Cove was. A haven for us. Even if we couldn't get past our own judgments.

  We finally made it to our seat and I slid into the small both, surprised at both its size and comfort. But immediately, I felt like someone was staring at me. I looked up and lo and behold. Right in front of me, in the booth right behind us sat Hank.

  I groaned internally. Hank scowled at me.

  But what was worse about the whole thing was he was not alone. I couldn't see the face of the woman he was with, but I could vaguely make out her scent.

  She was a ghoul, too.

  Pepper, seeing my face, turned her head around. "Hey, Hank!" she said and waved.

  He gave her an awkward little wave and she turned around. "Oh my gods, that's Charity from the library," she stage whispered.

  "Charity?" I gave a little shake of my head. "No idea."

  "She’s not a librarian. She just helps scan the books out. She's fairly new here, but word on the street is she's single and ready to mingle, if you know what I mean." Pepper gave me a lusty wink.

  "Very nice," I said to her and gave her a grossed out look.

  She snickered and snapped her menu open.

  I had no idea why I was feeling so conflicted. Hank looked handsome as sin. I couldn't tell if he was wearing jeans, but in a place like this I would expect them. He wore a vivid blue button down shirt. His hair was brushed back from his face and he was freshly shaven. He looked nothing like the rumpled man who'd showed up at my house this morning. I gave a finger wave and turned my attention to the menu. I was going to do my best to keep my eyes on Pepper even though he was seated at such an angle that I was going to see him every time I looked up.