Always His

by James, J. P.

  Little does she know, but she’ll never meet Sarah. I collapse onto my bed, feeling despondent. I knew my mom wasn’t perfect, but I had no idea she was secretly hoping that I wasn’t gay. Now, graduation can’t come fast enough. I can’t wait until I move out of this house and get away from my mother. Maybe I should reconsider going to college because if it gets me away from her, then it could be worth it.

  Frustrated, I dig into my pocket and take out my cell phone. That’s at least one person in this world who understands me, and my fingers don’t hesitate. I send Vance a text message saying I miss him already. It’s true. Sure, I left his house less than ten minutes ago, but right now, I really do miss him. His arms have got to be the safest and most comforting place on this planet.

  Within a matter of seconds he texts back, bringing a smile to my face.

  Vance: Miss you too, kiddo.

  His message makes me laugh out loud. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this crap that’s going on. Now that my mom thinks I have a fake girlfriend, at least I can pretend I’m hanging out with Sarah whenever I want to go spend time over at Vance’s house. It sucks to lie about the man that I’m falling in love with, but it’ll only be until June when I graduate. Part of me wants to pack a bag right now and go stay with Vance for the rest of the weekend, but I don’t want to poke the bear.

  Instead, Vance and I exchange flirtatious text messages that get me excited to see him again. I still can’t believe I lost my virginity last night, and to my hot neighbor of all people. I mean, I’ve literally masturbated to him before, and now my dream has come true. My cell phone screen lights up as I receive another text message from Vance.

  Vance: I just deleted my ChatAttack account. No point in being on the site anymore now that we know each other :)

  That’s a good point. I should probably delete mine too. I mean, does it get better than this? Vance is insanely hot, sweet, intelligent, and an animal in the bedroom. Without a doubt, he’s the total package. How could there be anyone more alluring?

  I close out of our text message conversation and open ChatAttack and remove my profile from the site, before deleting the app off my phone all together. Honestly, Vance was the only person I ever talked to on the app. Plus, now that Vance and I have slept together, I think things are only going to get more serious. He made me breakfast this morning, after all. Don’t you only do that if you really like someone? I pick up my phone.

  Jake: I just deleted my profile too.

  Suddenly, a lawn mower roars from outside. Hurriedly, I jump up and run over to the window. Holy shit, there’s Vance in his backyard mowing the grass. He’s wearing a skin tight T-shirt that shows off his muscular arms, with those gorgeous tattoos crawling up his biceps. Less than an hour ago, I was wrapped up tightly in those strong limbs, and I go weak all over again.

  At that moment, he glances up at my bedroom window. Our eyes lock, causing my heart to pound inside of my chest. Holy cow, how did he know where to look? Has he known this was my bedroom all along? Oh wait, does that mean he masturbated by the pool that night just for me? Suddenly, I grow warm all over. Wow, it was an amazing show, that’s for sure.

  Vance flashes his pearly white smile, and I nearly faint from his gorgeous grin. Smiling back, I wave down below to him. I wish I could run outside and leap into his embrace, but that’s silly. I can’t, and especially not in broad daylight. I’ll just have to sit up here in my bedroom admiring him as he cuts the grass, with half the ladies on the block drooling at the sight of his muscular build.

  But I smile happily from my window. This man doesn’t want them. In fact, he doesn’t want women at all. He’s into me, and with that knowledge, my heart expands and fills. There is justice in the universe, and now, I can’t wait to see what happens next with this man by my side.

  14

  Vance

  Damn, I hate having to come to this place every Wednesday. No matter how long I’ve been doing it, it never seems to get easier. I thought when I got out of jail, I was going to be a free man, but no such luck. Ever heard of probation? Well, part of the deal is that I have to make regular stops to “check in” with my damn probation officer.

  Plus, it’s not like this bitch is a nice person. She knows every last detail of my case, and if it was up to her, I’d still be locked up behind bars. Unfortunately, I’m stuck with her for the next two and a half years, and I can’t slip up in the slightest, or else I’m headed back to jail. That means that I can’t even get a simple speeding ticket because if I do, it’s back to the slammer for me.

  That’s why I’m worried about Jake’s age. Getting caught with another minor would get me thrown away in prison for a sentence much longer than five years. Luckily, he confirmed he’s eighteen, but I don’t want my probation officer to find out that I’m dating someone at all. She’ll want to know all the details, and finding out that he’s only eighteen will arouse suspicions. Plus, Jake still doesn’t know that I’m an ex-con, so he has no idea that I have to meet with my P.O. every Wednesday. I’m just going to tell him I have to work, when in reality I’m here being interrogated by a woman with a vendetta.

  I take a deep breath while grabbing the door handle. Hopefully today’s visit will be short and simple. Last week I was here with her for an hour because she kept asking me if I’ve been feeling tempted by any high school boys lately, like I’m a pervert or something. Fuck her.

  But as I walk through the door, knots form in my stomach. I can’t let Cruella DeVille see that I’m nervous because it would arouse her suspicions. She can smell fear like a bloodhound on a scent.

  I take a seat in the waiting area. My meeting doesn’t start for another fifteen minutes, but I always make sure to get here early. I was late one time and she sent officers out to arrest me. Can you believe it? Talk about crazy. Luckily, that got smoothed out pretty quick, but clearly, Cruella’s out of her mind.

  Rummaging through a pile of magazines on the table, I take one and begin to flip through the pages aimlessly. Soon enough, the office door opens, and my heart rate climbs off of the charts. Holy shit, it’s her. The woman is the type of thing children have nightmares about with her square, blunt face and scraped back hair. She stands in the doorway with her arms crossed, popping her chewing gum. Damnit, she already looks pissed. It’s going to be another long and exhausting meeting.

  Cruella (I mean Pat) doesn’t even bother to say hello. She just stands there staring at me with wrinkles in her forehead and a scornful expression. I sigh heavily as I toss the magazine back onto the table and stand up. Dragging my feet, I walk over to the office door. She steps aside to let me in, cracking her gum even louder. I just want to hurry up and get this over with because the sooner I’m out of her office, the better.

  She slams the door shut behind me, and then walks over to her desk. I take a seat across from her, trying to remain calm, cool, and collected, but she’s still popping that damn gum, and the sound is driving me nuts. Pat takes my file out of a cabinet and slams it onto her desk. Fuck! She’s extremely pissed today. It’s like the woman always has a stick up her ass, but more likely, she needs one plowed into her. That’s probably why she’s always so damn angry. A hard dick up her pussy would help her calm down and be nicer.

  Pat flips open the file and rifles through it, as if she doesn’t already know what it says. This woman is honestly a piece of work. She loves to drag things out because nothing about my file has changed over the last six months, so there’s no reason to check it every single meeting we have. I sink into the seat while watching her review whatever the hell she’s looking at. Finally, Pat pulls open her desk drawer and takes out a sealed plastic container.

  “Here,” she says as she tosses it at me. “Go take a leak.”

  “Are you kidding me? Not again,” I reply.

  Her expression is sour.

  “Do you see me laughing? Go take a piss, or you’re going back to jail,” she says.

  “But you know I’m not a drug addict,�
�� I reminder her. “That was never part of my crime.”

  “I don’t know anything until I get those test results back. Now go before I get the police down here,” she barks.

  What a bitch. Pat knows that I don’t have a history of using drugs, and in fact, I’ve never touched any illegal substances in my life. I swear, this woman gets off by humiliating me. I don’t know why she hates me the way that she does, especially since I’ve never done anything to hurt her. Defeated, I get to my feet with the plastic container in my hand. What other choice do I have? If I don’t take this drug test, she’s going to accuse me of substance abuse and send me back to jail.

  Head down, I trudge into the bathroom before shutting the door and urinating inside of the plastic container. It’s disgusting, but might as well get it over with. The tube is warm in my hands, and I wrinkle my nose at the smell. Fuck this is gross.

  I wash my hands, and as I dry them with a paper towel, stare at my reflection in the mirror. I can’t wait until the day that I don’t have to do this anymore. I’m ready to move on in my life and leave this whole ordeal behind me.

  Plus, now that Jake is in my life, the future is bright. He’s still in high school, but who knows? Anything can happen with a man like him because he’s the kind of person I’ve always dreamed of being with. Someone kind, smart, and gorgeous. He’s nothing like the dudes I used to bone and that’s what I love about him the most. My neighbor is a breath of fresh air, pure and sweet. Hell, I can even see us getting married and raising a child together in the future. Again, anything is possible.

  As I pull open the bathroom door, I realize that my probation officer is standing right there waiting for me, still popping that damn gum. I hand her the warm container filled with urine. Her eyes scan my body up and down with a disgusted expression on her face. I don’t know what this woman’s problem is, but I can’t wait to get the hell out of her office.

  “Have a seat,” Pat says as she walks over to her desk. I shuffle over to the chair and sink into it. “Against my recommendation, the judge is thinking about letting you off of probation early.” What? Her words make me sit up and become alert. “Your victim wrote a letter to the judge pleading your case. Apparently, it worked.”

  “Are you serious?” I ask in a state of shock.

  Cruella’s nose wrinkles like she’s smelled something bad.

  “Unfortunately, yes. I don’t think you deserve to be let off early, but it’s not up to me,” she shrugs. Thank god. If it were up to her, I’d never see the light of day again. “Since you’ve managed to keep your record clean, the judge has decided to lift your probation.”

  “So I’m free?” I ask with wide eyes.

  Cruella snorts.

  “Not yet. You still have to finish out the rest of this month, but after that, then yeah I guess you’re free.”

  Holy fucking shit! I can’t believe this! I just won the fucking lottery! In less than three weeks, I’ll finally be off probation, and away from this ghoul. I won’t ever have to come down here and pee in a tube again. Hallelujah!

  Full of excitement, I reach into my pocket and take out my cell phone. Oh wait. Just as I’m about to text Jake with the news, I realize that he has no idea that I’ve been on probation this entire time. Fuck. Getting off early is a good thing, but telling him would mean that I would have to tell him everything, including the fact that I’m an ex-con. It’s almost more trouble than it’s worth.

  “Thanks Pat,” I say as I get up and head toward the door. “See ya next week.”

  “There’s just one thing,” she adds. That simple sentence stops me in my tracks. Shit, what could it be now?

  “Yeah?” I ask, my heart racing.

  She smirks.

  “If you violate your probation before I’m done with you, you’re going back to jail. So I suggest you stay away from the underaged boys,” she says. “I know it’ll be hard, but trust me, you don’t want to go there.”

  I struggle to keep my expression neutral. Hands down, she’s the biggest bitch I’ve ever met.

  “Don’t worry, you have nothing to worry about,” I say in an even voice. Before she can reply, I pull open the door and rush out of the office. Damn. Luckily, I won’t have to see her after this month.

  Yet, Cruella’s words ring in my ears as I stride to my car because this whole thing with Jake is on shaky ground. Sure, he’s legal, but the judge might disapprove of our relationship because he’s still in high school. After all, optics are everything, and it just doesn’t look good. Should I break things off in the meantime? That seems like the best course. Yet, I can’t. My heart drops at the option, and I know that I don’t want to. Jake’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time, and I’m not ready to let him go.

  15

  Vance

  The aroma of cheese and tomato sauce wafts through my car as I drive home. Yum, pizza. Jake wanted to go out of town to have dinner together tonight, but I don’t want to do anything that could get in the way of my probation ending early. So I pretended to be too tired and suggested pizza instead. He was a little disappointed, but I’d rather not take any chances.

  Once my probation is lifted, though, we can go out whenever he wants and wherever he wants. Just not now because it’s too risky. Secretly, I’m hoping these next fourteen days fly by. I’m ready to get on with my life. The sooner I get off probation, the quicker he and I can begin our lives together.

  Plus, I’ve decided to wait until I’m done with probation to tell Jake everything. It seems easier that way, like it’ll be something that happened to me in my past. Plus, there’s the helpful point that my victim’s the one who wrote the letter to the judge. Jake will see that I was innocent all along.

  As I pull into my driveway, I see Elena standing out in her front yard. What the hell? It’s like I can’t escape this woman. I would have to move all the way across town just to avoid her, but if I did that, then I wouldn't be right next door to Jake either. That would be bad because right now, all he has to do now is climb out of his window and sneak through my back door for us to be together. No one notices a thing.

  I park the car and quickly climb out with the pizza in hand. Before I can even make it to my doorstep, she flags me down. “Hi, Vance,” she sings while waving her arm in the air. Slowly, I turn toward her.

  “Hey, Elena,” I reply. Damn, she’s standing outside with a martini glass in hand. It’s only seven and the woman is already a mess.

  “Having dinner all by yourself tonight?” she lilts. Little does she know that I’m actually have dinner with her son, and that we’ve been dating for the last few months. She’s going to be devastated when she finds out, but I don’t give a damn. These have been the happiest months of my life.

  “Yeah, I’m just going to hang out at home and have a few beers,” I lie.

  “Maybe I can come over and join you?” she hints with a wink. Even if I weren’t hanging out with her son, I still wouldn’t want her in my home.

  “Maybe some other time,” I say courteously while trying to get my key into the door.

  “Are you sure?” she bats her lashes. “I don’t have any plans tonight, and a man like you shouldn’t have to spend a Saturday night alone,” she coos. Wow, this woman is never going to give up, is she?

  “I’m sure,” I say firmly. “Tonight I kind of just want to relax alone. It’s been a long week.”

  She nods.

  “Oh, I get what you mean. My week has been kind of tough too. Can I get a rain check?”

  With a wan smile, I push open the front door.

  “Sure.” Of course, I have absolutely no intention of scheduling any kind of date with her, but I want to get out of sight before she invites herself into my house. “See you later.”

  “Okay, bye,” she trills as I close the door behind me.

  That woman is obsessed with me. I haven’t told Jake about his mother’s advances because I don’t want to create any unnecessary tension, although I suspect on som
e level, he already knows. Besides, I’d rather that he be the one to tell her, and not me. It’s better that way, because she’s his mom after all. So yeah, I guess I’ll just keep brushing her off until the right moment comes.

  There’s a knock at my back door. Oh good, it must be Jake. My heart leaps as I place the pizza onto the coffee table and bolt into the kitchen. Quickly, I unlock the door and open it for him before slamming the door shut. Then without any hesitation, I pull the man close and passionately press my lips to his. The heat between us is so intense that my cock stiffens immediately, pressing insistently against his stomach.

  Slowly, I draw back and gaze deeply into those brown pools of honey. “Hi, sweetheart.”

  “Hey,” he murmurs, still worked up from our intense liplock. “I missed you so much.” He rests his head on my chest. Softly, I kiss his forehead.

  “I missed you too. You have no idea how happy I am now that you’re here. You’ve been on my mind all day,” I murmur into his hair.

  Jake sighs.

  “My mom’s home tonight, so it was a little harder to sneak out,” he says.

  “I know, I just saw her,” I remark. I’m trying my hardest to not tell him about his mother’s behavior towards me, but she’s starting to make it extremely difficult to keep my mouth shut. But Jake’s still young and I want to protect him as much as possible for as long as I can, even if it’s from his own mom. My man sighs again.

  “She thinks I’m upstairs in my bedroom listening to podcasts. I even left one playing to make it more believable,” he says.

  “You think of everything,” I laugh lightly. “Now, let’s forget about your mom and just focus on each other.” I’m trying to change the subject because just thinking about Elena leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

  “Sure,” he says as he digs into his jacket pocket. “By the way, I brought over a Spider-Man DVD for tonight.”