by Lei Mi
"You don't think it's suspicious that the letter has disappeared?"
Tai Wei was silent for a moment. "Fang Mu," he said slowly, "it's not that I don't believe you; it's just that Meng Fanzhe was this woman's only child, and the amount of pain she must have been in would have made it difficult for her to control herself. I'm certain that she was never able to accept that her son could have actually done these terrible things, and was noting every suspicious detail as evidence to help her reverse the verdict. As for that letter, I truly doubt that it ever existed. She probably just wanted you to come see her and used this as an excuse."
"Reverse the verdict? Then why didn't she just call you guys directly?"
"You were his victim. Perhaps what the old lady wanted to know most was why Meng Fanzhe wanted to kill you."
Fang Mu snorted in disillusion this time. He lay down on the back seat again, not saying a word.
Tai Wei looked back at him. "You hungry?" he asked after a few thoughtful moments. "Want me to grab you some food at the gas station up ahead?"
There was a weighty pause, and then he finally heard Fang Mu's muffled voice reply, "I'm fine. Thanks."
Tai Wei just shook his head helplessly, and stepped on the gas.
It was almost noon when they arrived at the Jiangbin City University gates. Tai Wei invited Fang Mu to get something to eat at one of the little restaurants nearby, but Fang Mu stiffly refused, grabbed his bag, and headed into campus without looking back.
Tai Wei watched him disappear into the crowd of people walking through the gate.
"Stubborn bastard," he muttered to himself, and then shut the door, got back in, and started up the jeep.
As the engine idled, he sat with his hands on the steering wheel, lost in thought. After hesitating for some time, he pulled out his phone and dialed.
"Hello? Brother Tai?" Li Weidong's voice sounded over the receiver.
"Yeah, it's me. You guys really didn't discover that letter at the scene?"
Li Weidong laughed. "What is it? You don't believe me?"
"No, no, no. I was just asking."
"Well, we really didn't find it. You want me to send someone over there to look again?"
"Yeah, that would be great." Tai Wei quickly added, "Also, could I trouble you guys to check one more time for any signs that someone else might have entered the apartment?"
"All right. However, we've recently been focusing on gambling and automobile theft, so our numbers are a little limited. When I get a chance I'll definitely send someone over there to check, and if they find anything I'll let you know."
"Thanks a lot. Now I've got some stuff to take care of, so I'll talk to you later." After hanging up the phone, Tai Wei looked back toward the campus entrance. Crowds of students were walking in and out, talking and laughing, their faces free of worry.
Could there really have been a letter?
Could the killer really be someone else?
Could we really have made a mistake?
These were possibilities that Tai Wei could not accept.
Du Yu wasn't around. That was lucky, because otherwise there would have been no end to the questions.
Fang Mu tossed his backpack onto his chair and then lay heavily on the bed.
His whole body hurt and the bruises on his face were still swollen. When he lay against the pillow, the pain made him groan.
With difficulty, he rolled over. He really wanted to go to sleep, but although he closed his eyes, he stayed wide awake. Two vague shapes refused to leave his mind.
The symbols on the window.
He got gingerly out of bed and sat at his desk. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen, he tried as hard as he could to remember what he had seen the night before, and as he thought, he drew.
In fact, he wasn't even sure whether what he saw was man-made or just random smudges in-between the droplets on that window. Bit by bit, as his memory grew, the symbols took shape.
There was a total of two shapes. The one on the left looked a little like a "9" with a short horizontal line through the middle, while the one on the right sort of resembled the letter "A".
Fang Mu picked up the piece of paper and looked at it from every possible angle, but he still couldn't figure anything out. He tossed it aside, took out a cigarette, and glumly smoked it.
Someone had reached Meng Fanzhe's house before him, snatched the letter, and killed Meng Fanzhe's mother. From this he could deduce two things: First, this person knew about the letter and knew that Fang Mu was going to the house as well. Second, he knew Meng Fanzhe's mother had heart problems and was scared of mice.
Fang Mu thought back to when he had received Meng Fanzhe's mother's call in the library. Had there been anyone else around? Who were they? But he couldn't remember a thing. At the time he had been so engrossed in what she was saying that he hadn't paid any attention to the scene around him.
At the time he had considered having Meng Fanzhe's mother read him the letter over the phone, but fearing that this might get her too excited and worsen her heart condition, he'd decided against it. In the long run, however, it seemed that this decision had cost her life.
Exhausted, he leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.
Meng Fanzhe had raised a cat, which meant that he was probably scared of rats. In fact, people's fears were mostly acquired from experiences earlier in life. So Meng Fanzhe's fear of rats probably came from his mother. Perhaps when he was young he saw his mother become terrified of a rat, and as a result, gradually developed this fear himself.
In which case, someone who knew that Meng Fanzhe's mother was scared of rats would also be someone who deeply understood Meng Fanzhe.
And the only person who could have gotten Meng Fanzhe to reveal such personal information was probably that doctor.
If this person really existed, then Fang Mu's initial deduction was correct: At first, this doctor had given Meng Fanzhe a certain amount of psychotherapy, helping him to overcome his fear of roll call, and probably also his fear of rats; it had been he who suggested Meng Fanzhe get a cat. In this way, Meng Fanzhe would have begun to deeply trust and rely on this doctor, even to the point where he would do whatever he was told.
In which case, beginning with the 7/1 double homicide, had Meng Fanzhe carried out all these murders under this doctor's control?
Most likely not. Fang Mu rejected this possibility almost immediately. First, although Meng Fanzhe had a weak personality, he was still a law graduate student and would have never agreed to kill someone. Second, even supposing that the doctor hypnotized Meng Fanzhe, the likelihood was still very low. Although movies often depicted hypnosis as being almost supernaturally powerful, from a criminal justice standpoint, it had never been proven that a person could be hypnotized into committing a murder; not to mention that no one under hypnosis could be capable of planning and carrying out crimes as detailed and meticulous as these.
In which case, could this doctor have been responsible for all the murders?
Fang Mu couldn't help but shiver.
What kind of person is this, and why is he after me?
Someone knocked on the door, jolting his thoughts. When Fang Mu opened it, Deng Linyue stood there.
He subconsciously turned his head as soon as he realized it was her, but she had already seen the bruises on his face.
A small gasp escaped her. "My God, what happened?"
"It's nothing, it's nothing," he mumbled, waving her into the room.
But she wouldn't let up so easily and insisted that he tell her what happened.
Unable to dissuade her, he had no choice but to explain everything.
When he had finished, Deng Linyue didn't say anything in response, just wordlessly sat beside his bed.
After a long silence, she asked, "Is this…really what you want to do?"
"What do you mean?"
She looked up. Placing her hand on his knee, she looked into his eyes and said, "You don't want to just be an ordinary person? Studying hard, gradu
ating, and then going abroad with me? That's not good enough for you?"
Fang Mu looked down and said nothing. He gently moved her hand away and shook his head.
"Why?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears. "Do you think your life is normal? Do you think you're happy like this?
His voice was soft as he spoke. "No."
"Then why are you doing this?" Deng Linyue suddenly jumped to her feet. "Are you a policeman? Is this your duty? Or is someone forcing you?"
When she saw that he wasn't going to respond, she bit her lip in an attempt to calm down. "Fang Mu, I admit that the reason I love you is because you're someone who has experienced a lot. There's an indescribable sort of force around you, and this made me curious. It also captivated me, and made me feel secure. But after I fell in love with you, I found that this force also scared me." The questions seemed to come tumbling out. "Why does so much death always seem to follow you? Why must you always place yourself in such dangerous situations? After what he did, that boy Meng deserved to die, so what does that have to do with you? Why do you have to get yourself tangled up in it? Why do you have to cause so much pointless trouble?" She paused. "When you were doing all this, did you ever think of me?"
Fang Mu looked up. "Meng Fanzhe isn't the killer. The killer is someone else."
"Then so what? Why don't you just not worry about it? Why don't you just let the police do their jobs? Why don't you just be a normal student?"
He smiled bitterly and shook his head. "Impossible." He held her attention. "There are so many things… You just wouldn't understand."
"What wouldn't I understand? Tell me!" She sat down beside him and wiped away the tears forming. Her eyes never leaving his face.
He looked steadily into her bright and innocent eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but all he managed to say was, "You…don't need to know."
She stared at him until he looked away.
After a few long moments, she dried her eyes and slowly stood up. She walked to the door. "No matter what," she said in a quiet, soft tone, "I hope you know that regardless of what happens, I will always be by your side."
She opened the door and left.
For an instant Fang Mu wanted to call her back, hold her close, and whisper to her, "I'm sorry... forgive me."
But he didn't do a thing, just sat there and watched her disappear.
A few days later, Tai Wei called to say that Li Weidong had sent police to recheck the apartment, but because the scene had already been fairly heavily disturbed, it was impossible to determine if someone had been there before Fang Mu arrived. Additionally, interviews with the neighbors had turned up nothing of value. The police also searched through the apartment several times, and were certain that the letter Fang Mu mentioned was not at the scene.
Although Tai Wei didn't offer any official opinion over the phone, his position was already clear: the letter did not exist. Someone had to be lying, but whether this was Fang Mu or Dong Guizhi, he didn't know.
Fang Mu didn't feel like arguing with him, so after saying a few brief words, he quickly got off the phone. Sensing that Deng Linyue had been listening in to his conversation, he said without looking over at her: "That was Tai Wei. He called about the Suijing City investigation."
Sure enough, Deng Linyue had been true to her word. For the past few days, she had stuck close to Fang Mu at all times, except when they were asleep. No matter what time he left his dorm, she was always waiting for him outside.
But she was also speaking less and less. Even when they were eating, she often wouldn't say a word. Many times, Fang Mu would happen to look up at her and find that she was staring back at him.
The look in her eyes was no longer the warm, soft gaze from when they first got together; now it carried the hint of a close examination. It made him nervous when she looked at him like that, and when their eyes met he often had to look away in defeat after a few seconds.
At night, when he would walk her back to her dorm, Deng Linyue would always stand silently outside of it several minutes. He stood beside her, smoking or just looking off into the distance, not saying a word either. Often, she would turn and walk into her dorm without the least bit of warning, and though Fang Mu waited for her several times, he never saw her turn and come back as she had that one night before.
They hadn't kissed in a long time.
At one point Zhang Yao came to talk with Fang Mu. She told him that over the past few days Deng Linyue had been acting very strangely. Often Zhang Yao wouldn't see her all day, and then when Deng Linyue returned to the dorm at night, she would go straight to bed. One time, Zhang Yao woke to find Deng Linyue crying under her covers late in the night. When she asked her what was wrong, Deng Linyue just answered that she'd had a nightmare and wouldn't say anything else.
With the hint of a threat in her voice, Zhang Yao told Fang Mu that Deng Linyue had once asked her if she had made the right choice in being with Fang Mu. "If you don't start acting a little nicer to her," Zhang Yao said, "I'm afraid she might dump you!"
Fang Mu didn't really care whether Deng Linyue dumped him or not, but hearing how sad she sounded, he couldn't but feel a little sorry. When she invited him to a Christmas party, he immediately said yes.
For Jiangbin City University students, Christmas was easily one of the best-loved holidays. Even though it was a foreign holiday, these black-haired, yellow-skinned students celebrated it with even more fervor than Chinese New Year. By mid-December, all the restaurants, flower stores, and gift shops around the school had begun promotional activities, the campus was covered with over-the-top advertisements and posters, and everywhere one looked was the image of that red-hat-wearing, white-bearded old man. Girls began looking forward to the gifts they would receive, while boys began saving their money, either for a gift that would make their girlfriend smile or one that would capture the heart of a girl they'd long admired.
Despite the festive atmosphere, Fang Mu hardly caught the Christmas fever. Previously, when he had been single, he had never given any thought to the holiday. But although he still felt the same way, when Du Yu asked him if he wanted to go shopping for Christmas gifts, he forced himself to tag along.
Du Yu strolled around the Guomao shopping mall as patiently as a girl, frequently stopping to ask Fang Mu what he thought of some item or whether another was actually so nice. Each time Fang Mu just shrugged and said: "It's all right." Soon Du Yu began to feel that having Fang Mu help him choose a gift hadn't been the smartest idea in the world, so he ignored him and kept looking on his own. Freed from his duties, Fang Mu walked leisurely along after him, hands in his pockets.
He may have been bored, but this kind of relaxed afternoon was hard to come by. After being so tense for so long and after all the terrible things that had happened, he found it truly satisfying to stroll around, with a light heart and an empty mind.
While passing a counter covered with little knick-knacks, Fang Mu happened to catch sight of a small glass globe. The glass gleamed so brightly that he stared at it for an few extra seconds. Noticing this, the young saleswoman immediately called him over in a warm and enthusiastic tone. Seeing no reason not to, Fang Mu walked over to take a closer look.
The globe was actually a music box, or at least made up the upper half of one. Underneath it was the musical portion, a small and square box made of plastic. Inside the glass globe was a scene in miniature: a young man and woman standing side by side under a streetlight, with her leaning happily against his shoulder. Small white flakes were scattered around inside the globe, looking much like snow.
The saleswoman flipped a switch on the bottom and at once the miniature scene came to life. The streetlight inside switched on, the snowflakes swirled through the air, and tinkling music started to play. All the while, the two sweethearts were pressed close, snow floating all around them.
A ghost of a smile crossed Fang Mu's lips. It was snowing.
He thought of the smell of bare branches in the cold air.
... of the crunch of feet walking through snow.
... of a long ponytail tickling his face.
He then thought of two new sweethearts under a streetlight, first standing apart, and then pressing together.
"It's even prettier if you look at it at night," said the saleswoman, interrupting Fang Mu's thoughts.
"How much is it?" he asked, taking out his wallet.
By the time he finished paying, Du Yu had emerged from the crowd, a small plastic bag in his hand.
Seeing Fang Mu, he smiled. "So you bought something, too. What is it?" He grabbed the paper box out of Fang Mu's hand and opened it. "A music box? Where's your creativity? This kind of thing hasn't been popular in years."
Fang Mu laughed. "How about you? What did you get?"
Du Yu chuckled. "Actually, mine is a little over the top." He carefully removed a small, exquisite-looking box from the plastic bag. "It's Poison perfume by Dior, four-hundred-fifty renminbi."
"You sure got some deep pockets, huh?"
"I'm positive Zhang Yao is going to like this," said Du Yu, beaming with joy.
12/24: Christmas Eve.
The foreign languages grad school class of 2003 had rented a large conference room in one of the downtown hotels for the Christmas Eve party. Everyone was splitting the bill. The only requirement was: If you were in a relationship, you had to come as a couple.
Dinner was buffet-style, and while everyone ate, people took part in various skits and performances. Having no interest in this, Fang Mu sat at a table beside the window, quietly eating a plate of fried chicken and fruit salad and looking at the heavy car traffic outside.
The room was very hot and the window beside Fang Mu was covered in water droplets. Bored stiff, he used his finger to draw a design on the glass. After a little while, he realized that he had been drawing the two strange symbols he had seen that night at Meng Fanzhe's house.
What did they mean?
From the start, Fang Mu had been certain that Meng Fanzhe was not the killer. In which case, if it really was the doctor who had arrived at Meng Fanzhe's house before him, then whatever he had written on the window must have been meant for Fang Mu to see.