by Geeta Kakade
They both looked at her plate. For once it was empty.
“Keep that up,” said Uncle Paul. “By the time I see you in December I want you as plump as the proverbial Christmas goose.”
They all laughed at the mental picture his words evoked. Laurel realized it was the first time she had heard Jacob laugh out loud and it made her feel good.
The ten days Jacob and she spent on the road did help Laurel’s confidence. He had plotted a route from DC to Silver Lake that included every place of interest he could think of. They went to places off the beaten track and she realized he enjoyed nature as much as she did photographing it.
Laurel found herself relaxing in Jacob’s company and learning more about herself through him. He had to be the most positive person she had met. What seemed like problems to her were ironed out by his common sense way of framing situations.
She liked so many little things about him.
He stopped if she showed interest in a national park or a site and they explored it together walking for miles. He carried all the heavy equipment and waited patiently while she took innumerable photographs. He always booked them into nice hotels. For the sake of keeping up a front he reserved one room but he made sure they had double beds. Each night he saw her into the room, changed into exercise clothes and disappeared for an hour saying he needed a workout. It gave her time for a leisurely bath, a chat with Uncle Paul and her aunt and she was in bed reading before he returned. She took her medicine well in advance so she was asleep by the time he came out of the bathroom. Getting up early she went for a swim in the hotel pool while he slept in for an hour.
Jacob’s manner towards her was exemplary and it was silly to want anything else.
She stored all the information he gave her about his service, hoping some memory he shared would unlock hers. She had looked at the pictures on her laptop but it hadn’t triggered anything.
As they reached South Lake she started getting tense again. Jacob had told her Christy had seen to it their apartment at Cupid Lodge was ready before he’d flown back to D.C.
“We have our own apartment behind the main house,” he said. “So we won’t disturb anyone. The other apartment is occupied by Moira and her son Frank, who’s going to be twelve soon but we won’t bother them as there is a family room in between our place and theirs. Everyone hangs out in the garage that’s converted into an all purpose room anyway so we won’t be in anyone’s way. The older couple I mentioned, the Kemps, have moved into the downstairs bedroom and Christy’s turned the old family room into a sitting room for them as Mrs. Kemp loves television and has a set number of shows she has to watch every day. ”
As usual he was reading her mind and re-reassuring her they wouldn’t be in anyone’s way.
“How many people know about the amnesia?”
“All the people in the house but they don’t know about the shooting. They think you had an accident on base. The Kemps, Christy and Mark, Andrew and Bridget, Holt, Toby who’s in charge of the amazing garden, Moira and Frank are the folk you’ll come into contact with on a daily basis. We won’t broadcast the amnesia to other people unless we have to but this core group runs Cupid Lodge and are very close to each other.”
Laurel put a hand up and ran it through her hair. She wet her lips and he said, “I’m going to be there with you every step of the way so just relax. If you can’t settle down or don’t like it at Cupid Lodge for any reason we’ll move out immediately.”
She nodded giving him a grateful look. What people would make of them she had no control over. She drew a deep breath and lifted her chin.
“I’m ready,” she said.
The quaver in her voice ruined the effect of her words.
CHAPTER FOUR
“Brian seems very hesitant to contact Bridget,” Stephen said. “You’d think he’d be on the first plane out.”
“He doesn’t want her to get a shock. He and his second wife want to find out if she’s still alive and as much as they can about the kind of life she’s had,” Agnes put in.
“You know some children refuse to meet their birth parents preferring to let the past remain in the past.”
“Bridget’s not like that Ma,” protested Phillip. “She’s the sweetest girl around. She’ll forgive him.”
“We know that Pa but Brian has to hear it from Bridget.” Ma flitted out.
She had her own work to focus on.
Jacob pulled up on the drive a half hour later and she looked at the house. Even from the back it had an air of charm about it.
“It’s gorgeous,” she said.
“I’ll get our bags later,” Jacob told her. “Christy likes first time visitors to came to the front door. Do you mind?”
“No, of course not. I can’t wait to see the lake.”
Laurel walked with Jacob around to the front and she stared at the view of Silver Lake. “It’s so beautiful…the colors are just like Lake Tahoe.”
“Caused by the algae in the water,” Jacob elaborated as he rang the bell. “The crawfish eat the algae so we are encouraged to harvest as much crawfish as possible. Besides the crawfish we get crab, lobsters and fresh fish literally on the doorstep. You are going to have the best seafood you’ve ever had in your life here.”
Laurel took in the mellow brown façade of the house. The creeper by the front door softened the area around the front door with a splash of tiny yellow roses. She couldn’t wait to take photographs of the house and the lake.
The sound of footsteps coming to the door was followed by dogs barking, a firm command, then silence. Well trained dogs she thought.
Laurel looked at the petite blonde who opened the door, the tall dark haired man behind her. A good looking couple.
“Welcome to Cupid Lodge, Laurel. I’m Christy and this is my husband Mark.”
Laurel hoped her smile looked natural as she shook hands. Jacob had told her no one was to be called sir here so she bit back the term when Mark took her hand.
Jacob answered the couple’s queries about the road trip. One of the dog’s came up to her and Laurel put her hand out. The dog sniffed and then licked her hand.
“That’s Coco,” said Christy “and this one’s Cody. Coco’s the cautious one so she must really like you to greet you like that. Come in please.”
She stepped aside and Laurel went past her and stood in the foyer. It took only a few minutes to register the living room’s gracious beauty and the sunny kitchen that beckoned on the right.
“Would you like to eat something or have a drink?” Mark asked, heading for the kitchen.
“No thanks!” Laurel and Jacob said together.
“Are you tired? Would you like a nap?” Mark looked at Laurel.
“No thanks,” she repeated. “All I’ve done is rest while Jacob drove.”
“Let’s go for a walk on the beach then,” Christy suggested. “It’s a beautiful afternoon. Andrew and Bridget, my cousin, will join us tonight. So will the Kemps and Moira.”
“Where is everybody?” Jacob asked.
“Frank and Moira went to church and then to a friend’s for lunch. The Kemps are at a weekend Bridge marathon that ends at five.”
As they walked by the lakeshore, telling her about the area and Silver Lake City, Laurel began to feel at ease. Christy and Mark were very friendly and Jacob was obviously comfortable with them.
Laurel hoped she would fit in and not cause waves as she looked around their room later. It was big enough for two beds and that was a relief. She’d been wondering about that. The apartment had two bedrooms. The other one had a desk and chair, a bookshelf and was obviously a study. Both rooms shared a bathroom with a shower, double sinks and a huge mirror on the wall.
Outside the window was a view of the path on the side of the house. There was a hedge beyond with a gorgeous bed of flowers in front. The dark orange and light yellow mums in bloom were striking.
There was a huge closet in the bedroom, an armchair by the window with a small tab
le beside it. The family room in between the two apartments had a TV and a small kitchenette. If she wanted Laurel knew she could stay in here all day and not bother anyone in the main house.
In addition the family room opened into the all-purpose room in the garage and that was a huge space to relax and work out in.
It was a relief to see the set up was the way Jacob had described it.
She understood how busy Mark and Christy must be between the running of Cupid Lodge, Mark’s work and Christy’s interests. She didn’t want to be in the way.
“Is this okay?” Jacob asked coming into the room with her suitcase. He had stayed behind to have a word with Mark.
“It’s great.”
“I’ll make the other room my workspace if that’s okay with you and keep my clothes there.”
I’ll sleep in there if you prefer it.
He hadn’t said the words but they hung unspoken in the air between them. Laurel kept quiet. She’d shared a bedroom with him for so many nights now it didn’t matter. If it made everyone think she’d be safer with Jacob in the room, it was fine with her.
“Dinner’s at six and we don’t dress up for it. Semi-formal or business casual if we go and mingle with guests for the pre-dinner social hour which we won’t do. If the family’s on their own we wear whatever we want to. Tonight we’ll be on our own as Christy’s tells the guests the kitchen is closed on Sundays.”
“Aren’t we guests too? Shouldn’t we get our own dinner?”
“No.” Jacob’s nod was emphatic. “We’ll eat with the family tonight. On weekdays we can heat something up in the microwave or eat out but on Sundays it’s different.”
He waited a minute and when she didn’t say anything he said, “I’ll get my suitcase and unpack it in the other room.”
Laurel was glad she had spent all but a hundred dollars of the money Uncle Paul had given her on clothes. It was nice to be able to wear pretty things and be out of uniform for a while.
For a while? There would be no going back if she didn’t regain her memory or if she did and was court-martialed.
The odd restlessness that gripped her when she started worrying took hold of her. Picking up her clothes Laurel headed for the bathroom. A shower always.
Laurel looked around the big table in the dining room. She’d met everyone now. The Kemps were a sweet older couple whom she felt instantly at home with. Bridget was very soft spoken and calm as was Andrew. They had a newly married glow about them. It was sweet to notice the glances they exchanged, the way their hands reached for each other under the table.
For a second her mind took off on a flight of fancy teasing her with the thought of wondering what it would be like for Jacob and her if they really were married. Laurel stamped the thought out. She had so much to deal with right now, dreaming the impossible wouldn’t help.
She glanced at Moira who’d made a great dinner and was now looking at Laurel’s barely touched plate. Frank had looked at her too from time to time and she knew he had all the curiosity of a young boy and wondered about her lost memory.
She caught his eye and smiled at him. “Losing one’s memory is like someone’s taken a bite out of your brain,” she told Frank. “I can remember growing up and enlisting but nothing after that till I woke up in the hospital. Luckily I have no problem remembering the wonderful trip Jacob and I had. I’ll show you the photos I took some time if you’re interested. I’m very fortunate because some people with amnesia have difficulty forming new memories too. Except for the ten year gap in my life Jacob says I’m normal and no one has to worry about what to say to me or how to treat me. He’s a great psychiatrist so he would know.”
There. She’d gotten her message across to everyone.
The silence that followed told Laurel she couldn’t have surprised everyone more if she’d jumped up and done a jig on the table. Jacob looked stunned and then they way he smiled at her told her she had done the right thing by bringing up her amnesia.
“Holt will be here tomorrow,” Christy announced. “He’s going to stay in the study. Mark’s put a bed in there for him.”
“We had dinner with Holt,” Laurel told them. “He told me a little about Silver Lake. He has such a great sense of humor.”
“Isn’t he nice?” added Bridget. “He took care of so many things for Andrew and me at our wedding without even being asked to.”
“He did all the liaison work with Andrew’s friends and we didn’t have to worry about a thing.” Christy exchanged a smile with Bridget.
“I don’t understand why he hasn’t remarried,” said Mrs. Kemp.
“Said he didn’t want to be the cause of worry for any woman ever again while he was on active duty.” Mr. Kemp said.
“You don’t like the crawfish?” Mark asked Laurel looking at her plate. “Would you like a sandwich or some soup instead? Moira and Mrs. Kemp keep the kitchen well stocked.”
“No thanks. I’m afraid I’m not very hungry these days. I shouldn’t have served myself this much. I’m sorry.”
Jacob reached for her plate and transferred the crawfish to his plate. “All the more for me,” he said as if he was used to doing that.
Laurel hated wasting food. A picture of the poor kids in the village near their camp shot into her mind and her eyes closed as if a flashbulb had gone off in her face.
“It doesn’t matter,” Christy gave Mark a look.
“What’s wrong?" asked Andrew.
Laurel opened her eyes and shook her head. Everyone was looking at her.
“I was just thinking I hated wasting food and suddenly I saw the kids in the village near the base in Afghanistan. That’s the first memory I’ve recalled.”
“That’s great.” Jacob could have been talking of the sunset, his voice was so ordinary. “Pass the salt please.”
They all took their cues from him. Don’t make a big deal out of it.
“It takes time to get used to a new place,” said Bridget comfortingly. “When I came here I couldn’t eat in the beginning either. It took a few weeks to settle in.”
“She got really comfortable after she told me off for doing a great imitation of Father Bear. She said she’d had it with my grouchiness and I could shape up or ship out.” Andrew looked at his wife.
They all laughed.
“I didn’t get comfortable till they gave me the run of the kitchen,” Mrs. Kemp told Laurel.
“And I didn’t get comfortable till they gave me the run of the pantry,” added Mr. Kemp.
That drew smiles as well and after that the conversation stayed general.
Laurel was grateful for that.
After dinner when the men had finished the dishes Jacob said. “I think Laurel and I will call it a night. It’s been a long day.”
They withdrew to a chorus of goodnights.
In their room Jacob said, ”I was so proud of the way you talked about your amnesia in there.”
Laurel raked her hair with her fingers. “Well I could see how worried Frank was by the way he kept looking at me and I realized I better let everyone know they didn’t have to walk on eggshells around me.”
“You did great.”
“The memory of those kids…do you think it means my memory’s returning?”
“It could be or it could be you just had that one flashback. We have to wait and see.”
Disappointment flooded her. She had wanted Jacob to say her memory was returning.
“Remember one small step at a time is all you have to take, Laurel and today you’ve accomplished a lot.”
“Yes, I have.” She opened the drawer and took out her jammies. “I’m tired.”
“I’ll be working out in the garage if you need me.”
Laurel nodded. After she got ready for bed, she lay there staring at the ceiling waiting for her medicine to take effect. She tried to conjure up the picture of the children again hoping it would lead to more, trying to make her mind focus on the background of her flashback, anything that would lea
d to more.
She drew a blank and told herself there was no point going down that road. It was time to plan her routine here so she didn’t take up all Jacob’s time. He must have a ton of things he wanted to do and Laurel didn’t want to be the basket case at the top of his list.
Exercise she knew released the endorphins that were literally ‘be happy’ messengers in the brain and she needed to work out every day. After that she would work on her photographs and get them into some sort of order. Maybe she’d try working on her short stories again. Uncle Paul had shown her the scrapbook he had of her stories on the lighter side of life in the military. She couldn’t remember life in the Forces so she would start by writing about the trip.
No matter what, she had to get her act together. She wasn’t trying out for the title of runner up in the Book of Lamentations. If she was depressing everyone around her or making them uncomfortable in any way, she’d take Jacob up on his offer to move out.
One doctor had told her she needed to sleep properly to help herself get back to normal as soon as possible. The brain, he’d said, needed rest to repair the damage caused by her psychological trauma.
How did one get back to normal if they had no recollection of what that was?
Her last thought was she would have to come up with a new normal.
In the garage Jacob, Mark and Andrew looked at each other.
“How’s it going?” asked Andrew.
He and Mark had both noticed the new air of protectiveness Jacob had toward Laurel.
“The General arranged for me to meet Head of Psychiatry and Head of Neurology at Walter Reed and discuss the battery of tests they ran on Laurel and their findings. Luckily she’s got no permanent brain damage so the amnesia is associated with the psychological trauma of severe shock. As she mentioned she’s lucky she has no problem functioning or remembering things now, which is another problem people with amnesia, could face. The diagnosis is retrograde amnesia with hope of a full recovery.”
“That’s really good,” Andrew looked at him.