Inside, Mr. Smith is gesturing at Vanessa as everyone mills around, eating the cheese and drinking the punch. Clara and Jeremy hold hands.
No one is standing in front of my painting. I kind of want to bite the bullet and go in.
I watch Jewel in front of his exhibit, up-close photos of the troll. Like the one with my note. They show the troll’s fingers, his one eye, the VW. The grooved details of his wavy hair. The pink graffiti.
Vanessa walks up to Jewel, smiling.
They talk.
He touches her upper arm, bare because she’s wearing a black sequined tank top. Just once. But it’s enough to make my stomach jump.
I’m pretty enough; Vanessa’s maybe prettier. I’m an okay artist; she’s great. I’m out here in the shadows.
We have a lot of classes together, which is just the way it works. The person you want to forget about, the gods of scheduling make sure you spend your high school years constantly seated behind.
Our friendship was just a kid thing. I guess what we are now is more … competitive, if anything. She probably doesn’t think about me. Except maybe in one way.
I’ve always had one thing that she wants like crazy. Jewel. The most creative guy at school. The artist. And I had the ability to inspire him. His only friend.
Until now.
Friday, in art workshop, I stand at an easel by the window, looking out toward the empty courtyard. I busy myself with the painting I’ve already started as a Christmas gift for my parents. It’s a portrait of them, but I’m trying to do it all in little dots, spots of watercolor that add up to being people. I spend most of the class trying to swirl a good blue for my dad’s eyes.
Vanessa is quiet today.
When Mr. Smith announces that it’s time to clean up, I see what she’s been working on. She’s cut up a bunch of soda cans. The tops, with their tabs, litter her table. She’s fashioned a crown and a scepter.
It’s a scary thought, a world where I turn my back and Vanessa becomes royalty.
Chapter Nine
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•
•
I wake up and think, Dove Girl, tonight’s the night. Bloodbath night. Halloween.
Part of me feels like my witch dress is appropriate because I’m being a witch to Jewel.
The other part of me is totally excited. Showing up with Simon will be a major thing. People are about to see me differently. The new Alice. Interesting. Tonight I will turn heads. Vanessa won’t outshine me. No girl will.
I’m grateful that my glassblowing class is today; otherwise, I don’t know how I’d pass a whole Saturday before the dance without exploding.
The front of the studio is a store, selling beautiful, swirly-colored lamps and bowls. I check out a green bowl and can’t help imagining Jewel’s hazel eyes.
No. Today is not about Jewel, or missing him, or how I might’ve screwed up our friendship.
I finish browsing and head to the back of the shop.
The only person there is a guy in a tie-dyed T-shirt, with a long ponytail. His back is to me. Must be Jim.
I’m nervous. Where are the other students? What am I doing here?
He turns around and smiles at me.
“Welcome,” he says. “You are?”
“Alice Davis.”
“Welcome, Alice Davis. Happy Halloween. I’m Jim.” He’s very much a hippie; he seems blissed out.
I hear footsteps and turn to see a middle-aged woman walking in, wearing hiking pants and a white tank top.
Right behind her is Mandy Walker. From the elite who sit at Simon’s lunch table. Just what I didn’t want.
“Hey,” she says. “Alice, right? I’m so glad I recognize someone here!”
She’s here, so she can’t be all bad.
“Yeah. Alice. Hey.”
Jim asks us all to sit down. Folding chairs wait underneath a shelf full of tools.
Only three people signed up for this class? I guess we’ll each be getting a lot of attention.
Never stop spinning. The liquid glass glows orange like the sun, with green and yellow swirls, as I control it at the tip of the blowpipe. It turns in the furnace. I’m spinning hand over hand over hand. This is my best try yet, after three hours of instruction. Jim yells, “Feel the weight of your piece!” “Keep turning!” “To the bench!”
So I go to the bench, turning, quick before the glass hardens. Sit on the bench, spin the blowpipe on the chair’s rail, spin, spin. Shape. “Chill the bottom half with air!” Jim shouts. I keep spinning with one hand and grab the air hose with the other. It feels awkward, but I manage to let air out of the hose and keep spinning the glass.
The glass is cooling.
Back to the furnace. Make the glass orange again.
The heat smells like burnt marshmallows. “To the bench!”
Heat it up. Then cool it. Use air. Use water. Heat it up. Everything has to be perfect or my piece will be destroyed.
But that’s okay. I am in control of this.
Sweaty and flushed, but happy, I say thank you to Jim and walk out to the store. Mandy is admiring a pink lamp. “How long do you think till we’re this good?”
I think of Dale Chihuly. “Years and years.” Neither one of our first attempts at a bowl survived. Jim says that’s normal. He’s a cool guy—went from blissed out to kind of militant the moment we got our hands on the tools, but that makes sense. I was a little terrified of getting burnt or burning someone else.
“Are you doing the follow-up class?” she asks.
It’s only twenty bucks to come back in for a private or pairs session with Jim. “I think so. I really liked it.”
“Me too.”
Talking to her, with her standing there just as sweaty as me, I almost forget who Mandy is at school, one of the kids Jewel and I always thought seemed silly, kind of stupid. She’s not like that.
We walk out together. “Raining again,” she says.
“As always.”
We pass the scone shop and I’m dying for a latte. She says, “Want to go in?”
“My need for caffeine shows?”
She grins and opens the door.
Chunky Glasses isn’t here; the weekend girl is a pink-haired baby-doll-dress-wearing punk girl. Her nose stud looks a lot like Vanessa’s. She gets our lattes and Mandy and I sit at a table.
“So,” Mandy says, “I have gymnastics in an hour. Can’t stay long.”
“Cool.” I wonder what it’s like to be able to use your body that way. “That must help with cheerleading.”
“Oh, yeah. Been doing it my whole life, practically.”
“Like me and art.”
“But this was your first time glassblowing?”
“Yeah. I usually paint. Well. I try to paint. What about you? I’ve never seen you around the art studio at school.”
“The art studio?” Mandy looks straight at me. “I wouldn’t fit in. The art crowd is … kind of intimidating. Like there’s a weirdness factor that I don’t have?”
Mandy Walker, cheerleader, is intimidated by us?
“Well …,” I say. “Some people are like that, I guess.”
We sip.
“So I heard you’re Simon’s date to the Bath?”
I almost choke. “Yep.”
“He’s such a nice guy.”
“Who are you going with?”
“Solo.” Wow. I have a date and Mandy doesn’t? “I’ll just dance with whoever.”
If I went by myself, I’d stand as close to the wall as possible.
“Cool. What are you dressing as?”
“Butterfly.” I think back to my conversation with Jewel about the Beautiful People using the dance as an excuse to wear leotards in public.
“Cool.”
We finish our lattes and head out. It’s not until I’m almost home that I realize she didn’t make a big deal at all about me and Simon. Maybe he was never as far out of reach as I thought he was.
After I shower off the studi
o grime, I eat lasagna with my parents. “I really liked it,” I say. “Definitely going again.”
It’s hard to let them know how bubbly excited I am about the whole day. Simon. The Bath. A new art medium. A possible new friend. A possible whole new future. I just say, “It was great.”
Mom sits on the edge of the dry bathtub as I attempt to slide my feet into her two-inch black special-occasion heels.
She used to work at Nordstrom, so she knows a lot about fashion and beauty.
Seeing her sitting there reminds me of the time I had a horrible flu in third grade. She drew me bath after bath because it was the only thing that would keep me from feeling my fever. I’d wait for the tub to fill, sitting naked in a towel against the sink cabinet, sucking on purple Popsicles.
Now she’s wearing an all-white sweat suit and fairy wings.
The shoes are on. “Okay, eye shadow,” I say. “Make me look … smoky.”
Mom stands up and when I close my eyes to let her transform me, she says, “You’re beautiful. Your date is one lucky boy.”
I blush.
“How come we’ve never met him before?” She finishes my makeup and I open my eyes.
“Because I didn’t know him before.”
“Well, your dad and I will meet him tonight.” She untwists the cap of my lipstick: Cherry Pop, the closest thing I own to blood.
“Yeah,” I say. “That actually makes me think of something.”
“Hmm?” She hands me the lipstick tube and a square of toilet paper for blotting.
“Don’t mention Jewel tonight, okay? When Simon is here.” I put on the lipstick and blot. “They’re not really friends.”
“What’s going on between you and Jewel lately?”
I wish I knew. “We kind of had a fight.” I throw away the toilet paper.
“About …”
“I think I was feeling kind of stuck, just having one friend.”
“That’s understandable.”
“I guess.”
“But just because you want to have more friends, that doesn’t mean you can’t still be close with Jewel.”
“That’s the thing. My new person to hang out with is someone Jewel would never be friends with.”
“That sounds pretty closed-minded. Not like Jewel.”
“Mom, it’s high school. There’s popularity stuff.”
“Well, I miss Jewel.”
“Me too.” My eyes immediately start to tear and I have to take a deep breath. I really do miss him.
Tonight is about me and Simon, though. And that’s exciting.
She hands me the shiny satin witch hat she made for me, and we pin it on.
The doorbell rings and I hear my dad stomping to the door, being Frankenstein as he does every Halloween. Trick-or-treaters scream out their line.
My mom leaves the bathroom to join him, hugging me quickly and then plucking her fairy wand from the sink.
No more missing Jewel. Tonight is about a Dove Girl wish come true.
In my witchy mind, I am kissed.
The doorbell rings again and I catch myself holding my breath. Is it kids or—?
“You must be Simon,” Mom says. I breathe, stand up, smooth my dress, adjust my hat, check the mirror one last time, and head downstairs.
Simon’s wearing his football uniform. He hands me a ghost-shaped box of candy. “Like my costume?”
I glance at Mom. Is she thinking I’m crazy for going to the dance with some football player instead of Jewel? “Is that a costume?”
“I’m Mike Corrigan.” Simon turns around. “Number twelve, see.”
“Oh,” I say, my eyes lingering south of his number twelve. Then remembering Mom. “Yeah. Thanks for the candy!”
My dad comes out of the kitchen with a huge bowl of peanut butter cups.
I take a step and clutch the banister. Whoa. Careful not to fall right out of Mom’s heels. They’re already starting to hurt, too.
I hand her the ghost candies. I’m sure she thinks it’s the cutest gesture ever. Score one for Simon Murphy, he of the unimaginative costume who brings thoughtful gifts.
“Mom, Dad, this is Simon Murphy.”
“Trick or treat.” Simon grins and his little half-moon dimple almost does me in.
Dad hands Simon a peanut butter cup.
I assure my parents that my cell phone is with me, and then Simon and I are out the door. I’m still walking awkwardly in the heels, but that’s more witchlike, anyway. Crotchety. But, God. I wanted to be pretty tonight. Still do. And how will I dance if I can’t even walk to the car? “Hold on, I gotta go switch shoes.”
I replace the heels with my Pumas and take off again, passing my parents in the kitchen. They stand at the counter, arms around each other, chomping chocolate, and smile at me.
Simon leans into me as we walk across my yard. “You’re hot, even if you are a witch.”
This dance is going to be perfect.
At school, we park on a side street. I’m careful of puddles as we come together at the front of his car. It’s not raining, thankfully, but the sidewalk is its usual wet self.
“Let’s make a quick stop first,” he says.
“Okay.”
I follow Simon to the park. I can feel how damp the grass is even through my sneakers. It’s refreshing. Something about this is so quintessentially fall. Running through the wet grass on a semi-chilly October night, all dressed up.
He sits on a swing even though it’s wet. “You said you wanted to play.”
He remembered.
“Let’s swing!” he says.
I step up to the swing next to his and grab the chain. “I can’t believe you remembered I thought about coming here.”
“I remember everything you’ve said to me.”
Is that a line? Do I care? This is so sweet.
“The swing’s wet,” I say. “I don’t want my dress to get wet.” It crosses my mind that he might ask me to sit on his lap. Then he gestures to his lap.
This is so like a movie.
I walk over to him. He reaches for my waist and pulls me down to him.
“This isn’t how kids play,” I say.
“You’re gorgeous.”
He digs his feet into the grass below us and we sway. I feel his breath on my neck. I feel gorgeous.
His eyes are closed. His hands are on my hips. This might be the most rewarding thing ever: wanting a guy and getting him.
Our reverie ends when a truck passes.
“Race ya to the slide,” he says.
Simon wins. When I get up the ladder and reach the slide’s platform, he’s waiting for me, kneeling. I kneel in front of him, careful of my dress.
“I’ve never kissed a witch,” he says. And then he does, over and over.
“I’ve never kissed Mike Corrigan,” I finally tell him.
“And you never will.”
“No!” We’re laughing.
On our way to the Bath, he holds me like I am a prize, arm all the way around my middle, frequently squeezing. It’s like he’s making sure I’m real. I squeeze him back.
Jack-o’-lanterns with jagged mouths grimace on the steps of the school.
When we reach the door, Simon holds it open and ushers me in, his free hand between my shoulder blades. People definitely notice us. A devil holding the hand of a genie waves to Simon.
It still smells like chalk in here, but the school feels different tonight. Magical? Okay, that’s going too far. But special. The school’s all dressed up for Halloween too.
I’m not the only witch in the lobby, but one of the two others just has orange yarn stapled to the inside of her pointy hat, something you’d get at the drugstore. The other witch has green warts all over her face. Not attractive.
I spot Clara and Jeremy walking through the lobby, dressed as salt and pepper shakers.
Corrigan is over by the boys’ bathroom, talking to Molly from Spanish class. She’s dressed as a purple fairy and he’s got Simon’s jersey
. Her back is turned toward me; her wings shimmer. Corrigan catches my eye. The look in his eyes is … I don’t know, something like I’m steak and he’s really, really hungry.
It’s gross. I grab on to Simon’s hand.
A guy standing by the water fountain has loads of that fake cobwebby stuff taped around himself and he’s got a jump rope sticking out of his white turtleneck.
“Who’s the tampon?” asks Simon.
“Eew. I don’t know.”
Mandy comes out of the bathroom; her butterfly costume isn’t slutty like I imagined it might be. She looks really cute in a black minidress with wings and antennae. She waves hello.
Nine Inch Nails is blaring from the gym. I thank my Dove Girl that I have been spared Monster Mash-esque torture.
Again Simon ushers me through the door. It takes my eyes a minute to adjust to the dark.
Smoke fills the corners of the room, from what must be dry ice inside trash cans. The cans have shovels next to them and mounds of dirt, like someone has been digging graves all around the dance floor. Nooses hang from both basketball hoops.
“What’s that box by the locker room?” Simon points. It’s loud in here.
I can’t tell, so I grab his hand and lead him.
I’m pretty sure a football player winks at us.
The box turns out to be a room created from the tall corkboard dividers where our art show was displayed.
Simon pulls me through a black curtain into the box.
We’re alone; no teacher. The room is lit by black light. Simon looks like a bright white football ghost with too many teeth.
Stools are scattered around the space with glowing bowls resting on them. I get it. The old Halloween joke, peeled-grape eyeballs and spaghetti brains.
“Hey, Simon, go feel what’s in that bowl.”
He grabs me by the waist. “I’d rather feel what’s in this dress.”
Again we kiss like a storm.
It occurs to me that kissing him no longer makes me nervous. It feels natural somehow, like something I just know how to do. I might be growing up after all.
A mermaid and a vampire come through the curtain, he already starting to work on her neck.
I am so not making out in here with other people, even if Simon is breathing into my neck like he never wants to stop.
The Opposite of Invisible Page 6