by Dawn Doyle
“He’s got the nicest lips. I wonder what he kisses like?” One girl said.
“I heard a rumor that he doesn’t do making out. One of the juniors said he won’t let anybody kiss him.”
“So what happens then?”
“I don’t kiss on the mouth,” Raven overheard Beck saying to a girl who was flirting with him.
She wanted the ‘full experience’ and was complaining about not getting to make out with him first.
“Not even for a little bit?” she whined. “If you’re that close to somebody, why wouldn’t you kiss them?”
“I’m never close enough,” he said, but Raven didn’t know what he meant by that.
“What do you mean?”
“Those are the rules. Take it or leave it.” He shrugged a shoulder as though he didn’t care either way.
“Oh I want to, it’s just, I wanted to kiss your lips.”
“No.”
The girl huffed until finally saying, “Ok. Let’s go.”
Beck led her off somewhere, and Raven walked in the other direction. She felt sick knowing he was going off to have sex with the girl, and she understood completely why he always spoke the way he did. It was just to get in her pants. Nothing more.
She’d actually started to believe Ava, Kerry, and Leila, when they said he never did those things to anybody else because he liked her. Now she knew differently. That girl didn’t need any convincing, whereas she refused his advances.
He didn’t like it.
When Ava had gone to her class, leaving Raven alone, she found herself walking in the direction of the library. It wasn’t until she got through the doors that she felt somebody behind her.
“Raven,” Beck’s voice rumbled through her, automatically turning her knees to jelly. She hated that that happened.
“What do you want, Vivien?” she asked, not turning around.
“Vivien? Who the fuck is Vivien?” He snapped, making her stop in her tracks.
“You, Vivien,” she smiled. “You know, the character from Pretty Woman?”
“I don’t get why you would call me that,” he looked confused.
“She doesn’t kiss on the mouth, either,” she watched as Beck’s jaw tensed, but she continued anyway. “She was a prostitute, and she had a no kissing rule; just like you.”
Raven could see Beck’s anger rising. His eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched, and his nostrils flared.
“Are you saying I’m a hooker; Raven?” he growled.
“No, because that would mean you charged. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re a man-tramp.”
Beck took a deep breath through his nostrils, and slowly released it. He started walking towards Raven, forcing her to walk backwards.
She had nowhere to turn when her back came into contact with the wall, and Beck stopped mere inches from her.
“Do you want to know why I have that fucking rule?” his voice was so low it vibrated right through her body.
“I don’t care,” she whispered, trying not to look into his piercing eyes.
“You do, otherwise you wouldn’t have made a bitchy comment.”
Raven didn’t reply. She looked left and right, but nobody was there. She was alone with Beck, and none of her friends could help her.
“I’ll tell you,” he took a step closer. “Kissing is too intimate.”
“So sticking your dick in somebody isn’t?” she asked before she could stop herself.
“Not in the way you mean it, it’s not. I don’t have body contact either; you want to know why?”
She shook her head. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She wasn’t afraid of Beck, she knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but there was something in his eyes that told her he wasn’t telling her his reasons to get a rise out of her that time.
“I’ll tell you anyway,” he stepped closer again, almost touching her. “Holding somebody means sharing feelings. Feelings that I don’t have for them. Kissing implies those feelings too. I’m not giving anybody any reason to think there could be anything more from me than a one-off.”
Raven was speechless. He’d practically told her he never slept with the same girl twice, and wasn’t interested in anything else.
That couldn’t be true. There had to be something there inside him. She wanted to know.
“So you don’t have feelings for anybody you sleep with?”
“No. It’s just fucking, Raven. A way to get off without getting attached,” he said, closing the gap.
His body connected with hers, and she felt his upper abs press into her breasts.
She gasped as she felt a throbbing between her thighs. Nobody had made her feel that, even when having sex, and fully clothed too.
“You’re body is touching mine, right now,” she breathed. Scared that if she took a deep breath back in, she’d inhale him and be putty in his hands; like she almost was.
“But we’re not fucking, Raven.”
Beck raised his hand, and stroked a finger down her cheek, leaving a trail of burning flesh behind.
Raven closed her eyes, and swallowed.
“Remember what I said; It’d be the best thing to happen. I mean that, Raven.”
With those words, Beck stepped back out of her space and left her a tortured, aroused wreck in the library.
“Imagine if one of us could get him to kiss us,” One of the girls said, excitedly.
“Yes! The first one that gets to kiss Beck Traynor would be famous on campus.”
The group of girls giggled like high school kids. Raven, and Ava, shook their heads.
“I know I’ve said this before, but I’m going to say it again,” Ava stopped as she spoke. “It makes sense. If you want to have sex without people getting their feelings hurt when you don’t want anything else, then why would you kiss them? Why would you want to hold them tight or even cuddle afterwards?”
Raven rubbed her head with her hand. “I know, I get it. I just think it’s meaningless.”
“Exactly! Meaningless sex. Getting bent over and taken as hard as you can handle isn’t exactly romantic,” Ava said as she shrugged a shoulder. “It’s much better than a hand job, I imagine. I know I prefer sex to manual.” Ava grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.
“I don’t know, Ay. My one ‘accidental’ time was better than any sex I’ve had.”
Ava burst out laughing. “My God! I still don’t understand how you could accidentally masturbate.”
“Shh!” Raven put her hand over Ava’s mouth. “It was one time, and I didn’t realize what I was doing.”
“Getting yourself off as you slept; priceless,” Ava giggled.
“Thank you, friend,” Raven stuck her tongue out at her so-called ‘bestie’.
Raven had been having sexy dreams. She hadn’t admitted the full extent to Ava, but she’d dreamt of the incident in the library with Beck. Instead of walking away, he’d stripped her clothes and had taken her on the desk. It had been the best orgasm of her life. Even her ex-boyfriend hadn’t done it for her. Sure he’d been loving and she’d often reached the peak, but it hadn’t made her see stars. She’d dated a couple of guys since, but never on campus, and the ones who she felt comfortable enough with, she’d gone further. Again, she felt like there was too much action, not enough fireworks.
“I guess that’s why you had to fake your last orgasm. He just couldn’t cut it.”
“You faked an orgasm?”
“Oh fuck,” Raven and Ava said in unison.
Beck grinned, showing his teeth as he approached the girls.
“Well well,” he smirked. “I hope you were a great actress. I bet the guy wouldn’t be pleased to know he left you unsatisfied.”
“This doesn’t concern you, Beck,” Ava turned to him. “It has nothing to do with you at all.”
Beck ignored her and walked right up to Raven. She could feel the heat from his body as he stood up close.
“You’d never have to fake it with me,” he whispered into her ear. His breath caused her skin to
break out in goosebumps, and her face flamed. “I’d make your eyes roll back, and your toes curl,” he finished, his lips brushed against the shell of her ear and her breath caught.
“I…” Raven swallowed the frog in her throat.
“It was because he reminded her of you, that’s why she had to,” Ava cut in before Beck could elaborate.
He stood back as if he’s been slapped in the face, looking between the girls.
“I think it’s time you stopped bullying Ray, Beck.”
“I’m not bullying her,” he shook his head, his eyebrows pinching together. “Have I ever been mean to you, Raven?” he watched her as Raven thought about all the times he’d approached her. “I’ve never hurt you, or said anything that would make you feel bad about yourself. In fact, I always tell you that you look hot or sexy.”
Ava’s eyes snapped to his.
“Telling somebody they’re hot or sexy is like saying ‘I just want to get into your pants’,” she said. “That’s not really a compliment when you mean it that way.”
“Raven knows what I think.” His eyes turned to hers. “Don’t you?”
“No, I don’t,” she replied, shaking her head. She shifted her weight so she could cross one foot over the other, discreetly squeezing her thighs together to stop the ache there.
Beck leant into her ear again. “I think you do.” He smiled, winked, then walked away.
The girls watched him go, and Raven’s eyes drifted south to his ass.
The pert orbs flexed as he walked away. A small sigh escaped her lips without her even realizing.
“That was so fucking hot, Ray,” Ava whispered, her hand on her chest. “I was turned on just by watching that.”
“God, Ay. I don’t know how he does it, I really don’t,” Raven said, fanning her face with her hands.
“You look like you need a lie down, Ray,” Ava fanned Raven’s face with her. “I saw you watching his ass, and I can’t blame you. He’s got a great ass.”
“I know,’ Raven groaned. “This is ridiculous. I want him to stop doing those things but when he does…”
“What? What is it?” Ava asked with a look of concern.
“He gets to me.”
“I know, honey.” Ava put her arm around her shoulder.
“No, Ay. He gets to me,” she lowered her voice and widened her eyes. “Like that.”
“Oohh!” Ava said, finally understanding, then laughing.
“It’s not funny, Ay. You’ve known all along what he does to me; it’s… frustrating.”
“I bet it is, Ray. Oh I bet it really is.”
The girls waited until they got back to their dorm to discuss Raven’s situation. Just in case Beck decided to show again and he heard any of the details.
Ava knew that Beck had caused reactions in Raven, it was only natural, but Raven had never wanted to act on anything. No matter how much he aroused her when he got up close.
His body next to hers.
His heat radiating to her.
His eyes fixing solely on her.
His hot breath on her skin when he whispered in her ear.
His touch when he ran his fingertips along her forearms.
Raven heated further just thinking about it.
There was no doubt in her mind that her body wanted Beck, and desperately, but her mind had won over in the reasoning department. For how much longer, she didn’t know.
*****
“I’ll see you later. Text me if you can,” Ava said, hugging Raven as they left each other for class.
Raven was about to go into her first Economics class of the year, and Ava was going in for her Philosophy class. The two were close to each other, which was a bonus for when Raven needed rescuing after spending over an hour in the same room as Beck.
“I will,” Raven replied with a nervous smile. “If you hear a door slamming and then somebody screaming down the hall, it’s probably me.”
Ava laughed. “I don’t think it’s going to be that bad. Just take deep breaths and…” she looked around. “Just squeeze your legs together. It helps a bit.”
Raven’s mouth popped open. “Ay, for fuck’s sake!” she squeaked.
Ava laughed as she went into her own room.
Raven sat down at her usual seat. She was the first one in class -her dorm was close to that building- and that only made her more nervous.
A minute later and some other students began to walk in. She recognized them and they greeted each other. Raven’s smile soon dropped when he walked in. Looking dangerously sexy with his hair windswept and messy, she couldn’t help but stare at him.
He ran his fingers through it, closing his eyes for a second as he did. His shoulder and arm muscles bunched under his black tee, and his shirt lifted away from his jeans, showing a tiny sliver of his skin.
Raven’s eyes looked back up his body, and her stomach plummeted. He was watching her, watching him.
Oh shit!
Quickly looking down to her books, Raven knew she couldn’t get away with it. She hoped that Beck would just sit down and not say a word about what he’d witnessed, but as usual, he did the opposite.
“Hi Raven,” he purred, sitting down next to her. “How are you?” he asked with a stupid grin across his face.
“I’m fine,” she muttered, keeping her head down. The last thing she wanted was for him to bring up the fakegasm.
“I know,” he said in a low voice. “Very fine.”
Raven blew out a breath and closed her eyes as if she were already bored.
“Don’t you have another seat to go to?”
“I want to sit here now. It’s much better,” he sat back, stretching his long legs out under the table. “You can see me better from here too. I saw you eye-fucking me in the doorway.”
“For Goodness sakes, Beck. I wasn’t, nor have I ever, eye-fucked you.”
“Yes you did. At the orienteering games, and just now.”
“I looked at you, so what? That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It does with the way you looked at me. You liked what you saw, Raven. You can’t deny that, as much as you want to.”
Raven turned to him, her eyes blazing as he smirked. “You’re an ass, Beck.”
“Why? For pointing out what I saw? Why does that make me an ass?” he narrowed his eyes. “Are you embarrassed?”
Raven turned her eyes back to her books; not answering him.
“Don’t be. I’m not.” Raven’s cheeks flushed as Beck leant into her, speaking quietly. “Raven, it’s ok that you look, you know. I wouldn’t want you to drop your panties just from looking.”
Raven softened, and looked into his eyes. There was something there that told her it was going to turn dirty at any moment.
“You wouldn’t want everybody to see how wet they are for me.”
“Oh dear God!” she shrieked, all heads turning in their direction.
“No, just Beck,” he grinned.
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” Beck asked.
“That. Turn something that started out sweet into something dirty. I don’t get it,” she said, shaking her head.
“You’d get it, if you asked,” he purred.
Raven gasped in shock. “I…I can’t even…” She was lost for words, and Beck laughed. The deep tone sending tremors through her body.
“In all seriousness, Raven,” he said when he’d calmed down. “I think you want me.”
“Look!” she snapped. “Yes, you’re good looking. There; I said it, but that does not mean I want you.”
“That’s all I wanted to hear.” Beck sat back with a smug look on his face.
He just wanted Raven to admit she thought he was attractive. He’d manipulated the situation just so she would say it.
“It’s ok,” Beck moved her ponytail from over her shoulder to her back. The effects from his fingers brushing her causing her to cross her legs. “I won’t say anything,” he whispered, his breath tickling the skin
on her neck.
The professor entered the room to begin the lecture, gaining the attention of the students.
Raven tried to concentrate on what she was saying but, with Beck next to her, it was proving difficult.
Every time she breathed in, she could smell him. He smelled just like he had earlier, but better; if that was possible.
Every time she shifted her position in her seat, so did he. He seemed to get closer each time until he was almost sitting on the same seat as her.
“Do you need both seats?” she asked sarcastically.
“No, my ass is fine in this one, but you know that already,” he winked.
Raven wasn’t about to argue with him on that point. He’d only twist whatever she said.
“Then why are you trying to get in my seat too?”
Beck looked down at the tiny gap between them, and he genuinely looked confused as to how he’d managed to get his chair there.
“You moved yours,” he said, bluntly as though it was her fault.
“No I didn’t. I’m the same distance from the edge as I was before.”
“It’s your panties; they’re pulling me in,” he grinned.
Oh no he didn’t.
“How can they be? I’m not wearing any.”
The grin left Beck’s beautiful face and in its place was extreme shock. He stared, his jaw slack, as Raven smiled sweetly as she shrugged a shoulder and batted her eyes.
Deal with that!
Beck managed to compose himself for a short time. Raven knew the moment he was back in ‘bug Raven’ mode. He was sitting forwards and she could see the corner of his lips turn up. The professor wasn’t saying anything worth smiling over.
Getting her phone out, Raven sent Ava a text.
R: He’s sitting next to me. Already started on me at the beginning of the lecture. :(
Ava replied almost instantly.