A Mended Heart

by Jenn Leigh

  I got up and joined Nil in the kitchen, grabbing a slice of pizza and looking around while Nil watched me.

  “What?” I asked. “Do I have something on my face?”

  She smile shyly. “No, sorry. I just … I don’t know what I would do without you.” She paused. “You’re all I have left.”

  I crossed the room to where she was and grabbed her in my arms again. She held onto me yet didn’t cry, which was surprising.

  “I want you to make me forget, Mark,” she said quietly, so quietly I almost didn’t hear.

  My body froze. Did I hear right? She wanted me to make her forget?

  “I don’t think that’s a good—”

  “Please,” she begged

  “I can’t, baby, not under these circumstances. I wouldn’t feel right.”

  She nodded her head then headed back into the bedroom. She looked at where the door was and shook her head as she crawled back in bed.

  I let out a big sigh then cleaned the kitchen before heading back in with her. She would need me tonight. The worst hadn’t happened yet. At least, I assumed it hadn’t.

  Chapter 14

  Nilka

  I couldn’t believe I had begged him to have sex with me. I didn’t even know where to begin with that one. It was so cliché. It was in all my romance novels. Let’s just say that my emotions were all over the place and leave it at that.

  While I lay in bed as I listened to Mark cleaning up the kitchen, my mind was all over the place, and I couldn’t turn it off.

  Finally, Mark came into the room again, but he didn’t climb into bed with me. Instead, I heard him take off his clothes. I tried to talk my body out of responding to the sound, but it didn’t listen. I felt the heat build-up in my core, and my face felt flush.

  Mark came to the other side of the bed and lifted up the covers. It was then that I peeked up at him, finding him in his boxers at least, but it had been years since I had seen his body.

  Holy hell, was he cut. I mean, I figured he was by the fit of some of his T-shirts, but to see it in the flesh … and, oh, that six pack … Wait, I shouldn’t be thinking of this when my parents just died. Ugh!

  “What was that face for?” he asked, stopping himself from getting into bed with me.

  Shit.

  “Uh … I was thinking about things, nothing to do with you.”

  He cocked his eyebrow up.

  “I’m serious,” I replied weakly.

  He never said anything else, only gathered me in his arms.

  I rested my head on his bicep, turning my face into his chest. He had a few tattoos in my line of sight, and curiosity got the better of me, so I traced the tattoo that was on his pec near my face. It was an intricate design with a giant flower in the center. As I was tracing the pattern, Mark got goose bumps over his skin, making me smile slightly. At least I had some effect on him.

  I kept quiet as I continued roaming my fingers across him. I found another tattoo close to that one and it looked like a Celtic knot of some kind. As I traced around it, his nipples became erect.

  I laid my hand flat against his beating heart and found that it was racing more so than before, and I took that moment to look up at his face.

  “You’re making it hard for me to resist you,” Mark stated hoarsely.

  I watched his face for a few beats, deciding whether or not I should ask again. My mind had been racing for a while now, and I didn’t think it would shut off anytime soon.

  “Then don’t,” I offered hopefully.

  He gazed at my face, his eyes bouncing back and forth between mine. He then quickly sealed his lips to mine. It was searing and powerful after everything we had gone through tonight.

  He splayed his hand over my hip while the other went into my hair, holding me in position like he didn’t want me to go anywhere. If he was going to keep kissing me like that, however, I wasn’t going anywhere.

  Our legs tangled as we continued kissing. He managed to get on top of me, but before things got too far, he abruptly stopped and looked down into my eyes.

  He opened his mouth then hesitated.

  “I don’t want you to regret this, Nil. I want you so fucking badly, but not because of some emotional turmoil that’s happened. I will be here for the long haul, but I need for you to be sure because, once I have you, I won’t be able to go back to taking it slow. I want you in the worst way, but I need for you to be sure.” He looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes.

  I couldn’t say I blamed him. This was definitely something that, once we did, we couldn’t go back. We both wanted to move forward with our relationship, and this would definitely be the ultimate next step.

  “I need you, Mark. Not because of what happened, but because I need the connection with you. I have no one left in this world but you, and I need to feel you inside and out. I need you to surround me with your love. I need you to hold me together. I need you to be my soft place to fall. I just need you, like this, no regrets,” I whispered, holding his gaze.

  He brushed one hand over my cheek as he slowly peppered tender kisses over my face. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Nilka. I’ll be your soft place.”

  With that, he gently pushed inside as we both moaned in unison at the feeling taking us both over. He leaned on his elbows with his forearms surrounding my head, caressing my face and keeping his eyes locked on mine as he moved in and out of me. The feeling was better than I remembered, and in that moment, all of our firsts came crashing back.

  He brushed his thumbs over my cheeks as his breathing became more strained. My inner core was clenching, and I was close to falling over the edge. He sensed it, too, and slid his hand down, rubbing my clit to take me over the edge.

  I cried out his name as we both came, never once taking our eyes off each other. Once I was able to get my breathing under control, I wrapped my hands around his neck, and he leaned down to kiss me tenderly

  I looked into his eyes to show him the depth of my feelings. “I love you, Mark.”

  His breath hitched, and the kiss that was gentle before was now more demanding. I was ready for round two and whatever else came our way.

  Chapter 15

  Mark

  Hearing Nilka say “I love you” was all I needed to fuel the fire that had been dormant for the last twelve years. I had known deep down she loved me all along, but to hear her say it out loud gave me all the reassurance I needed that we were heading in the right direction.

  I sat up and pulled back from her, and she whimpered in protest.

  “Shh, I’m nowhere near done, baby.”

  I pulled her farther down the bed and practically attacked her neck. I had wanted this time to be tender and reassuring, just as she had asked. Now, though, all bets were off. I was going to rock her world.

  I spent a good deal of time kissing and teasing her neck, especially the tender spot at the base. My hands roamed down her body, kneading her breasts and lightly pinching her nipples. I took my time exploring her body, gently kissing, sucking, and nipping as I went. She was a writhing mess by the time my hand drifted to her core, and I spread her legs open.

  I moaned in her ear, “So fucking wet, Nil.”

  This, in turn, caused her to moan back. I ran my fingers through her wet folds, and once they were coated, I stuck two inside. She almost came off the bed, arching toward me in pure bliss.

  I whispered in her ear, “That’s it, baby, ride my fingers.”

  As she rode my hand, I bent down and took a nipple in my mouth. She tasted so sweet I could barely hold my load in. I wanted to be inside her so badly, but I would wait. I wanted her begging for me.

  She was moaning as her body shook from my movements. I could feel her inner walls clenching, but I didn’t want her to come yet, so I backed off a bit, teasing her some more, sucking on her flesh as I played with her pussy everywhere except her clit.

  “Please, Mark, I need you,” she panted, lifting her hips up and down.

  “What do you need fro
m me, baby?” I whispered in her ear.

  “I need to come.” Her face pinched with want.

  “Is this what you want?” I asked as my fingers roamed over her clit.

  “Oh, God,” she moaned.

  I made a few more passes until I knew she was about to fall over the edge. Then I finally slid my fingers back in and rubbed my thumb over her clit.

  She screamed my name as her body began to shake, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I would never get enough of watching her let go. Just as she was about to come down from her high, I replaced my fingers with my cock and rode her hard, my orgasm right on the brink.

  “Oh, God, I’m coming again!” Nilka screamed as her walls rippled down my shaft.

  As the familiar tingle at the base of my balls came shooting through, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I groaned out my orgasm into Nilka’s neck.

  It took us a few moments to catch our breath, during which she was very quiet, and I was worried this wasn’t the greatest idea.

  I looked up at her and found her watching me.

  “Are you okay?” I asked hesitantly.

  She nodded her head.

  “I wasn’t expecting it to be like that. Like everything clicked into place. It sounds cheesy, I know, but I never expected that feeling,” she said.

  I didn’t say anything back, only nuzzled my nose along her jawline, in complete agreement with her.

  When I was finally able to get off her, I got up to go to the bathroom to get a towel and to dispose of the condom.

  “Shit.” I panicked.

  I didn’t use a condom.

  I came out of the bathroom with a towel for Nilka, looking at her guiltily.

  “I didn’t use a condom.” I scratched the back of my head, fully expecting her to yell at me.

  “I know,” she said, catching me off guard.

  At a loss, I just stood there, trying to form something to say.

  She smiled at me. “I’m on the pill, Mark. Don’t give yourself a coronary.”

  I walked over to the bed and crawled back in, pulling her close then kissing the top of her head. “Love you.”

  “Love you back,” she responded as we drifted off to sleep.

  ***

  I woke up the next morning to Nilka lying on her stomach, fast asleep. She looked absolutely stunning against her white sheets, her dark hair fanned out across the pillow.

  I stared at her for a few moments, wondering how I got so lucky to have her back in my life. Then I slid quietly out of bed and made my way into her kitchen. I knew where everything was, so I set out to make her breakfast in bed.

  I started up a pot of coffee and had barely begun cooking up some oatmeal and sliced apples when my phone vibrated on the counter.

  “Hey,” I answered quietly.

  “How’s Nil?” Daniel asked.

  “As good as can be expected, I guess,” I offered as I cut up the apples.

  “I got a flight for us.”

  “Us?”

  “Yep, I’m coming with you. No way am I leaving you alone to do everything on your own. You’ll find a way to screw it up,” Daniel said.

  “Thanks,” I said quietly. “When do we leave?”

  “The day after tomorrow, bright and early. It’ll be a long trip. I booked us for ten days, so hopefully everything can be done in that amount of time.”

  “I hope so. I’d hate for this to drag on for her. It’ll be bad enough as it is,” I reply.

  “I’ll make sure I have all the paperwork ready to go. You both just need your passports and whatever you’re taking along.”

  “Sure thing. Thanks for helping and tagging along,” I said with a smile.

  “Yep. Talk to you later.” Daniel hung up the phone.

  Now that I had breakfast all ready, I brought it up the stairs to Nil. Once I got to the room, I saw that she was sitting up on the side of the bed, sort of staring off into the distance. I put the food down on the nightstand and squatted in front of her, taking both of her hands in my own.

  She looked down at our linked hands and said, “I guess it wasn’t a dream after all. They’re really gone now, and I don’t know what to say or feel.”

  I rubbed my thumbs over hers. “I know it’s hard to take in, but you have all the support in the world, Nil. All of our friends are here. You have me. You even have Cassie. We’ll all help you get through it in our own little ways. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I love you,” I said the last bit as I kissed her hands.

  “Speaking of Cassie,” I continued, “I should give her a call and let her know what’s happened. She’ll want to know. Plus, we’ll be in Egypt for ten days, so I’ll have to let her know our daily conversations will have to take a mini vacation. I’ll have Josh and Nat check in on her.”

  Nilka merely nodded, remaining silent. However, then she started to eat her breakfast, so at least I didn’t have to worry about her not eating and getting sick.

  Chapter 16

  Nilka

  I couldn’t believe the events of the last two days. My parents were really dead, and I was about to fly back to a country that was not only where my baby was buried, but somewhere I wasn’t familiar with. Yes, my parents were from there, but besides the time I had spent there, having my child, I had never been to Egypt before or back since.

  Once I had the baby, my parents decided to stay back in their home country. The funny thing was, they never even tried to get me to stay. As their only child, you would have thought they would have begged and pleaded for me to stay with them, but that wasn’t the case. They actually never even made a peep about me going back to Edgewood. They even bought my ticket back, no questions asked about price or anything.

  Sure, we stayed in touch over the years, but it was strained. They would send me a monthly wire transfer for a small amount of money to help me stay afloat, especially when I was going to college, but it sort of felt like blood money or to keep my silence, which in effect was true. After all, if I had spoken about what had occurred with anyone, they would have cut me off.

  It seems silly now that I was only tied to my parents because of the money when what I really wanted and craved were their acceptance and love. I wasn’t sure I had gotten either in the long run, culture aside.

  However, the fact that I was now alone, with no relatives to speak of, made me feel that much more depressed, no matter how much Mark said I had tons of support with everyone around. I did feel that, especially with him, but there was something about losing your last remaining family and your heritage that made it all the more … final.

  Mark waved his hand in front of my face. “Did you hear anything I said?” he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

  I cleared my throat. “Uh … no, sorry. I spaced out. What were you saying?”

  Mark looked at me before answering. “I said I was just going to give Cassie a call to give her a heads up.” Mark looked at me with a worried expression.

  “Would it be okay if I called Cassie? I think it should come from me, and I haven’t been able to talk to her in a few days,” I offered.

  Mark eyed me warily. “If you are up for it, sure.”

  “Okay, just let me finish eating and get myself cleaned up.”

  Mark nodded then headed off to the shower.

  I heard the water turn on, which gave me time to lean back and gather my thoughts. I closed my eyes and replayed some happy childhood memories, like the time my dad had taught me how to ride a bike or when I dropped the flour bag in the kitchen, and it puffed all over Mom and me. I remembered our evenings together as a child, how they would suffer through American shows like Family Guy and The Simpsons. They didn’t understand most of the dialogue, but they sat through it for me. During those times, I felt loved and wanted. After I got pregnant, though, all those feelings seemed to disappear on their end, and I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It had been strained ever since.

  I never heard the water shut off or Mark get out of the bathroom,
but he was standing in front of me now with the same worried expression on his face.

  “What?” I asked, alarmed

  He took a breath, contemplating what he was going to say. “I’m expecting you to fall apart again,” he said quietly. “It’s a lot to take in, and then to have to go back there … I’m expecting you to shatter into a million pieces. I know that I would if it were me. I’m sort of waiting for the other shoe to fall.”

  I watched him for a few beats.

  “I’m okay, really. I was just thinking about the past, trying to piece memories together. That sort of thing.”

  Mark held out his hand. “Come on, let’s get you ready and start making some plans. You can call Cassie when you’re ready.” He pulled me into the bathroom.

  I was showered and dressed in record time. I actually wanted to tell Cassie about it since she knew about my baby before any of them did.

  I sighed loudly.

  “What?” Mark asked.

  “I’m probably going to have to talk to Nat and Lily about our baby before we leave,” I said with my head down.

  Mark cleared his throat. “Uh … about that ...” He paused. “I actually told them already.”

  I glared at him.

  “I did it after you cried yourself to sleep,” he said hastily.

  I crossed my arms as he continued.

  “Look, Nil, you had just ripped my heart out with your sobbing and hyperventilating, so when you passed out, I told them. I had to. I didn’t want you to go through it again. Besides, this was my child, too, and I deserved to tell someone,” he stated.

  “Who all knows?” I questioned, worried. It wasn’t something I wanted everyone to know about. I didn’t want pity.

  “Everyone who matters,” he said in return.

  When I bowed my head and let out a huge sigh, he came over and wrapped his arms around me.

  “They needed to know Nil. They support us, and that includes all of our faults and tragedies.” He kissed my head.

  I stayed in his embrace for a few more moments.