by Jenn Leigh
By the time I caught my breath enough to come back to reality, Mark’s shirt was soaked, and as I looked into his red rimmed eyes, I realized this situation had only made us stronger. Not many people faced the same predicaments in life; some were worse than others. However, what had happened was in the past, and there was nothing we could do to change what had happened. We could only get stronger and move on together, for Cassie and for us.
Mark brushed his thumbs across my cheeks, catching the remaining tears as they fell. I took that moment to lean into him and gently kiss his lips.
“I love you.”
Mark held my face. “I love you, too.”
As we kissed again, it was like a kiss of redemption, triumph over perceived loss. It was the start of a new life, a rightful beginning.
***
Later that day, Mark and I decided we should purchase a small “welcome to the family gift” for Cassie, deciding a necklace would be something she would cherish.
We were in the local jewelry store, looking around when I came across the perfect locket.
“Hey, do you know where the photo of Cassie as a baby is, the one that was in the letter?” I asked Mark.
“Yeah, I put it in our room by the bed for safe keeping. Why?”
“I think this locket would be perfect. We can put that picture in the one side and a new family photo in the other. What do you think?” I watched for a bad reaction. I was unsure if this was something Cassie would like.
He looked at the locket for a few moments and then looked back up at me with a light sheen to his eyes. “I think this is perfect.” He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
I looked up at him and smiled, and the sale’s lady took that as her cue to wring up our purchase.
I felt at peace, almost like it was meant to be. I couldn’t wait to give this to Cassie. I only hoped she was receptive when we told her.
***
Sitting at the Bennett’s dinner table as Cassie regaled us with another story of her and Amanda, I couldn’t help smiling at my daughter. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it before. She had Mark’s eyes, but she did have some of my features. Her olive skin was a bit lighter than mine, but that was from having bi-racial parents. She had my nose and the shape of my face, but she had Mark’s lips. She was definitely a beauty, one I couldn’t believe was back in my life.
I looked over at Mark who was in equal awe of Cassie, finally noticing himself that she was a good mix of the two of us. Then Mark looked at me and beamed, and I beamed right back.
The Bennett’s said they were going to get dessert for us, which meant we were up to bat. Cassie had just finished another story of her and Amanda picking frogs out by the creek, which was something we all loved to do as kids, when the creek wasn’t dry, that is.
“Cassie, Mark and I wanted to talk to you about something that has come up,” I started.
“Ooo, does it have to do with my parents?” she questioned, clapping her hands together like it was going to be a juicy story. Little did she know, it was.
“Actually, yes, it does.” I paused.
Mark and I had decided I would tell her the story because we thought it might be better coming from a female in case things didn’t go well.
Mark took my hand, and I looked back at Cassie.
“Do you remember the story of my baby?”
Cassie nodded, a sadness coming to her eyes. “Yes, I was really sad to hear about a baby dying. That’s not fair.”
I smiled at her compassion. For someone who had been through what she had, to have that still intact was nothing short of amazing.
“Cassie, sometimes people aren’t in control of what happens to them. Sometimes, people step in and take over without permission or want by the other party. I guess what I am saying is that I was able to find out some information that was ultimately out of my control. I wasn’t made aware of what happened until very recently, like days ago recently.” I was rambling—I knew that—but I wanted to be able to explain a bit before I came out with the news.
“Do you understand what Nil is trying to say to you, Cassie?” Mark asked, hopefully taking over since I was doing a shitty job of explaining.
Cassie looked back and forth between us, and she got a pained look in her eyes as she spoke. “You’re sending me away, aren’t you?” she questioned harshly. “That’s what this … talk is about. You are sending me back into the system.” She started to panic as she stood up and took off to her room.
“Well, that didn’t go over very well, now did it?” Wanda Bennett commented from the kitchen.
When both Mark and I gave her a deploring look, Wanda shrugged then went back to work in the kitchen.
I put my head in my hands. “That was horrible. How am I going to fix that?”
Mark sighed. “Let’s just think of this as our first parenting lesson. Let’s go to her room and talk it out. That’s what we had to do as kids.”
I nodded and got up.
We knocked on Cassie’s door yet were met with silence. We tried again, but this time, Mark stepped in.
“Cassie, may we come in? We really do need to talk, and I think there has been a misunderstanding. We can talk in your room if you are more comfortable here, but we really do need to talk. Okay, sweetie?” Mark pressed his forehead against the door as we waited for Cassie to respond.
The door clicked open, and Cassie’s tear-streaked face came into view.
“Aww, honey, come here.” I grabbed her in a hug, and we walked over to her bed and sat Cassie in between both of us.
“What I was trying to say was that, all those years ago, when I though I lost that baby, I recently found out that I didn’t actually lose her. I found her, actually. It is a very long story, and I will fill you in on everything, but I just want to let you that I found the baby I once thought I lost.” I hoped I got through to her this time.
“Oh.” Cassie cast her gaze down. “I’m really happy for you. When do I get to meet her?” she asked, looking kind of down.
Mark and I shared a concerned look before he decided to step in and try again.
“I think you are misunderstanding, or maybe we aren’t explaining it very well. You see, it’s our first time trying to be parents, and maybe we don’t have it down quite yet, the way to talk to our child. Maybe you can help us out?” Mark offered, hoping she would catch on.
Cassie shrugged yet stopped short and took in a breath. Then she looked between the both of us, and we slowly nodded our heads as realization dawned on her.
She got up quickly from the bed and turned to face us. “No! No way. For real? Seriously?”
We nodded more noticeably this time.
She put her hands on her face, fell to her knees, and cried.
Both Mark and I wrapped our arms around her and gave her all the support she would need.
After several minutes of everyone trying to pull themselves together, we all looked at each other, our eyes red-rimmed but with a gleam of hope in them.
“Are you really my parents?” Cassie asked carefully.
“Yes,” I answered strongly. “Can’t you see some of the similarities? You have Mark’s … uh, your dad’s eyes and his lips,” I pointed out.
“My dad,” Cassie whispered, looking at Mark as she unconsciously touched her lips.
Mark looked like he was about to break down again.
“I’m scared,” Cassie stated.
“Why?” Mark questioned.
“It’s a dream I had. I dreamt that I found out you were my parents, but you were taken from me, and I don’t want that to happen.” Cassie looked down at the ground as her shoulders slumped.
Mark titled her chin up to him. “That will never happen. We’ve made sure that everything we can do is done, and it is official. As your parents, we will do everything in our power to prevent this from ever happening again.”
“Really?” Cassie asked hopefully.
“Really,” I stated with a smile.
I took out the box that held Cassie’s locket and handed it over to her.
“I found this and thought it would be perfect for you.”
I watched as her eyes lit up. Then Cassie held up the locket and opened it. It was empty for now, though.
“I figured we could get a family photo done so you can put a picture in it,” I offered as she twirled the necklace in the air, mesmerized by how it looked.
I took the locket and put it on her.
At that, Cassie threw herself at both of us, and we tangled into a doggie-pile hug on the floor. Having my daughter in my arms, my entire world shifted from one of guilt and torture about “what ifs” to a world full of love and support. I couldn’t be happier, either.
Chapter 24
Mark
As I sat there, holding my girls—yes, that’s right, my girls—I couldn’t help thinking of the immediate future and of the things that we had to rectify before moving on together as a family. One of those things was finally making Nilka my wife.
However, before that happened, we had to make some decisions regarding living arrangements.
I had mentioned that Nilka and I should move in together, away from the already cramped house, and I still agreed with that, but for now, it was the place we could call home. I would call a real-estate agent, and Nil and I could work on picking out our dream home then finally begin our lives together. We would sell Nilka’s house, as it would be too small for the three of us, but of course we could use it in the meantime until we found something that could be our forever home.
We broke the embrace as Cassie asked, “Can we go have dessert now?”
Both Nilka and I laughed.
“Sure,” Nil said.
Cassie jumped up and went downstairs, yelling for the Bennetts’ as she approached the kitchen.
Nil and I chuckled as we sat on Cassie’s floor. I took that moment to look over at Nil, who had been through so much already. She seemed to be taking this newfound happiness in stride.
“Are you okay?”
Nil looked at me with pure joy shining through her eyes. “I never thought this day would come, Mark. I was always grieving for my loss. I didn’t know what this kind of happiness could be like. I was always outside, looking in on other people’s happiness, you know. I just … I can’t believe this has turned out this way. I don’t even know how to begin to feel.”
I moved closer to her and touched my palm to her face. “We’re in this together, babe, always.” I moved in to kiss her gently.
God, I could live in this moment forever. My heart had never felt so full.
We kissed languidly for what felt like hours until we were interrupted.
“Ew! I don’t want to see my parents kissing.” Cassie made a gagging sound.
Nil and I burst out laughing. Secretly, I loved hearing Cassie call us her parents.
I beamed at the acknowledgement as we got up and headed downstairs for dessert.
***
We were all exhausted by the time we got back to my place. Cassie had fallen asleep in the back seat. It was an emotionally draining day for everyone.
I pulled into the driveway and sat for a moment before getting out of the car. Nilka went in ahead of me to get a room ready for Cassie.
I watched Cassie sleep through my rear view mirror and smiled wistfully. I still couldn’t believe she was mine. She looked so peaceful, which was a far cry from how she had grown up so far. I swore on my life that I would do anything in my power to get Cassie back on track and away from the past she’d had to deal with. I would be by her side the entire time. Nothing would harm my little girl again—nothing.
I got out of the car and opened the back to wake her up. I almost felt bad for doing it, but I was sure she would like to stretch out on a bed.
“Cassie, sweetie, time to get up. We’re back home.” I nudged her shoulder gently.
Her eyes popped open. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she apologized sleepily.
“That’s okay. Let’s get you inside.” I held out my hand for her to jump out of the truck.
She leaned her body against mine as we made our way up to the house.
We got Cassie all set and in bed. Then Nilka leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead, and I did the same. Cassie was out like a light before we even left her room.
Nilka and I hugged at her door, but we were interrupted by a throat clearing.
“Hey, I just wanted to say how happy I am that everything worked out for you both. You both deserve this happiness. Don’t forget that,” Natalie said with Josh standing behind her, smiling.
“I second that,” Daniel said as he came up and hugged Nil.
“Hey, get your hands off my girl.” I smacked his back playfully.
Daniel only chuckled and came up to hug me, too.
After everyone excused themselves, Nilka and I turned in for the night. We were both so exhausted that, by the time we hit the bed, we snuggled up and were both out like lights. It had been a whirlwind of activity and emotion.
***
“Okay, Cassie, you remember what you are supposed to do right?” I asked her for what I was sure was the millionth time.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes. She had the whole pre-teen attitude down to a science.
“Yes, Dad.” She made sure she enunciated the ‘a’ in dad.
Nilka and I had spent the last few weeks looking at houses. I knew the moment she had found the house she wanted. It was only on the next block over from my brother’s, so it met both of our needs.
However, Nilka was humoring me because there were still houses on the list to look at. She didn’t want to disappoint me by picking something she wanted and I didn’t. Little did she know that, wherever she was, it was home to me.
I made the purchase later that day. She might be mad at me for doing it behind her back, but ultimately, I knew that was the house she wanted.
Cassie was instructed to walk with Nilka down the street to where I would be waiting on the front steps in a suit and tie—that was Cassie’s request. Girls, sheesh—with a big, red bow on the front door.
As soon as I saw them approach, Nilka spotted me at the door and gasped.
“No, you didn’t,” she stated, putting her hand to her mouth.
Nilka looked over at Cassie who was sporting the biggest smile ever, and Cassie nodded her head then looked back at me. They walked up the path to the front door, and Nilka stepped onto the front porch. Cassie took a step back as I got down on one knee.
“Nilka Andeen Abdani, you are my life, my love, my everything. Years ago, we were ripped apart by circumstances out of our control. You were placed back into my life as a friend, which was better than nothing in my eyes, but then that small opening you gave me in the hallway a few months ago steeled my resolve to get you back. I saw it in your eyes that you wanted me, too.
“I will never give up on us. Without you, I don’t exist. Please make me the happiest man and dad”—I winked at Cassie—“in the world and be my wife, forever.”
Nilka had tears streaming down her face, but the giant smile she wore betrayed them as she nodded and said yes.
I slipped on the ring that would be our forever then pulled her and Cassie in for a group hug.
My girls, forever.
Epilogue
Two years later
Mark
“Okay Nilka, you can do this. Just one more push, baby, and our little man will be here. You’ve got this, baby.” I was being as encouraging as possible, but it was so hard to watch her in so much pain.
Twenty hours of labor, and most of that with severe back pain, was not fun for anyone involved. Thankfully, Daniel took Cassie out of the room for the worst, although it was probably a good escape for the both of them, anyway. Josh was busy with little Maddie, his daughter, while Nat and I were helping Nil in the delivery room
Nilka looked at me with such pain in her eyes, and I wished with all my might that I could take it
away for her.
“I can’t, Mark. I can’t do this anymore,” she pleaded with me.
“Yes, you can, baby. One more big push, and we can see Nate.”
The nurse chimed in that the contraction was ramping up again.
“Here we go, baby. You can do this. I’m right here,” I offered in support.
I held her head and a leg as she pushed hard. The doctor worked his magic, and then we heard the wonderful sound of our baby crying. Tears instantly came to my eyes as I kissed an exhausted Nilka.
“You want to cut the cord, Dad?”
“Absolutely.”
After I did, they whisked away Nate and cleaned him up.
Eight pounds, four ounces, twenty-inches long, they wrapped him up and handed him over to me while Nilka lay, drifting to sleep as the doctors finished with her.
I looked down at his perfect, little face and kissed his forehead. Then I looked over at Nilka who was watching me silently with happiness in her eyes.
“Let’s go meet your mom.”
***
I made my way out to the waiting room and saw the expectant faces of my family. Cassie came running over and threw herself in my arms, and I kissed the top of her head.
“Want to go meet your little brother?” I said loud enough for everyone to hear
Cassie smiled and took my hand. “Let’s go, Dad.”
I looked over my shoulder as Cassie practically dragged me down the hall. The smiling faces of my family were all the support and love I could ask for.
My last look was into my father’s eyes. I knew he was proud of me and the man I had become through adversity and happiness, and it was the acknowledgement I needed.
I smiled a knowing smile at him as I followed Cassie down the hall to unite my family, finally.
THE END
Acknowledgements
Wow, I am so grateful to all my supporters for standing behind me and cheering me on. I received some great feedback from my first novella.
While I am a new writer, it is definitely an experience that I enjoy and I truly appreciate. Hopefully, as I keep going, I’ll get better and better along the way.