Shit. He was right. Usually I made him go through my orders to make sure everything was there. “The lingerie isn’t for me to get pleasure from. Not anymore, anyway. I just figured…” Fuck…I wanted the temptation. The excuse to lose it and ravage her. “Forget it. Do me a favor and throw them out. I thought her self-esteem could use a boost. Stupid idea.”
“You sure?” Jaime’s tone dropped. “I bet she’d look amazing all dressed up in those stockings, the garter belt at her waist... I can see it already. Maybe you should keep them just in case.”
“No.” The word gritted out past my clenched teeth. I knew exactly how she would look. If I saw her all dressed up as nothing more than a present to unwrap with my knife… it would be all over with.
“Can I keep them, then?”
I eased forward in my chair, my eyes going back to Diane. “What for? You planning on putting them on?” The tease was nothing more than a cover. The anger of his true motives weren’t sitting very well with the possessive side of me.
“Funny, but no. Listen.” He got quiet and I could feel my pulse start to hammer in my chest. “We both know she’s probably going to be alright. I’d like to bring her back to Portland with me. To try to help her, myself. There’s plenty of slaves waiting to come to you. Let me take her and you can have a new one.”
My hand fisted at the roaring in my ears. “You want to take my slave, Jaime?” The threat was evident to me and I was sure he’d caught it.
“Master.” He hesitated. “If you don’t have any objections, of course…I do. I want her. I think there might be a chance she and I could connect.”
“Connect.” A smile pulled at my mouth, but not of the happy kind. The sadistic part of me begged to hurt him for even daring to ask. “Let’s be blunt. You think you could connect enough to fuck her, is that it?”
“Jesus,” he breathed out. “Listen, I like her. If she were to like me to, it wouldn’t merely be fucking. Besides, I’m ready to settle down.”
The smile grew larger. “Oh, are you? I wasn’t aware of that. Since when? If I recall, you just broke up with Jasmine not two weeks before I got Diane. Why not just go back to her?”
More silence. “Diane will get me more than any other woman will. She’s seen what I have. Been to hell and back. We’ll click, I just know it. Please. Let me take her back with me in a few days. I’ll get my place secured like yours is. At least until she’s well enough. Then, it’ll work out for everyone. If she doesn’t grow feelings for me, not a problem. I’ll still continue to make her better and she can move on with her life just like she would with you.”
Fuck if he wasn’t giving me a way out. But to just hand her over to him? My head shook. “No. I can’t do that, Jaime. I’m sorry, but I’ve taken responsibility for her. If something were to happen, it’d be my fault, regardless if you took blame or not.”
Diane stood, stretching. Her face turned toward my door and I pushed my fingertips into the desk. God, I wanted her all over again. Wanted what we shared last night, before I ruined it.
“Can I start coming over to see her then? Maybe spend some time with her so she can get to know me? It might help her heal on the inside. A counteragent to…well, you.”
My eyebrows drew in. “We’ll talk about it later. Are you on your way?”
“Yeah, I’m actually almost there. I just thought I would call because it was driving me crazy and I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk with her there.”
I stood, pushing the chair in. “I’ll see you when you get here.” The line disconnected and I placed the phone in my pocket. Diane was still standing, staring toward my door, as I walked into her room.
“Did you finish?”
Sadness. Yes. The invisible force bellowed out around her, pulling me in until all I wanted to do was comfort her from being the asshole I’d acted like this morning. No sweet words. No kisses or hugs for the amazing attention she’d given me the night before. Just one word when her eyes had opened and she smiled at me. Bathroom.
I had meant to force her back into routine. The anger over the situation had tainted my voice and the beautiful expression she’d held melted off as if I’d slapped her across the face. Fuck, I’d never felt like more of a bastard in my life.
“Yes, Master.” She walked over, grabbing the sheet of paper and bringing it to me. I lifted it, only to jerk the sheet to the side at her collapsing to kneel at my feet. Nothing came at her submission, no thoughts or words. I hadn’t told her to do that, yet she’d instinctively known from me pushing her to kneel this morning while I started her bath water.
Slowly, I drew the paper up, still unable to focus. The black ink blurred together until finally I could scan over the introduction. As I read even more, I couldn’t stop my eyes from widening at the detail and personal link my slave had for the cancer society. I’d forgotten when I’d asked her to write it that she was a nurse and had lived seeing those children suffer every day.
Still, I scanned down, taking in each line and relating it to what I would have to say. In the past, I had written my own speeches. The difference was clear. Empathy. She had it. Me…not so much. Not because I didn’t feel for the patients, but because I hadn’t experienced the pain like she had.
“This is wonderful. You did well.” My hand reached for her hair and heaviness pulled at my chest as I eased her head into my thigh. God, to have her like this with me forever as a partner. What a dream. It was impossible. I couldn’t have two slaves here at all times. I needed to focus. I wouldn’t be able to do that if my attention was on Diane. The responsibility was too great to chance. Someone could die and I couldn’t let that happen.
“I’m glad you like it, Master. Writing that was painful, but I think I know what I need to do.”
I crouched before her, sliding my finger under her chin to make her face me. “And what is that?”
“Nursing. Not with children again, and not in this field, but I could still help.”
My hand rose to rest on her cheek. Instantly, she turned into my touch. The quick jerk away told me she’d caught herself a little too late.
“Jaime asked, if I could do one good thing before I died, what would it be? I didn’t know. I’m still not sure. But I thought maybe I could contribute by using the skills I possess until I figured it out.”
“Wouldn’t your skills be enough?”
Diane’s eyes lifted to mine. “No. Not to me. I want to help more than that. I’ll figure it out, but at least that’s a start. When I leave here, I’m going to go back to nursing. Then, maybe I’ll find my own charity to become involved in. Maybe to help women like me.”
If only we could do it together…impossible.
“That sounds like a great plan, slave. You have a start. That’s important.”
“Master?”
“Yes?”
I stood, pulling her to stand, too.
“How much longer would you say I have? I’m not rushing to leave, I’m just curious.”
Such a change in you, slave. “A few more weeks. If you continue to improve, I’ll make my decision then.”
“Thank you. Not just for this…but—”
A knock had me turning around. Jaime’s eyes were wide as he stepped in the room. “What happened to your hair? Wow! I almost didn’t recognize you. Come, let me see.”
Diane’s eyes rose to mine while she waited for my permission. Amazing. “Go ahead,” I said softly.
As she walked over, the look on my friend’s face was genuine. He liked it, just as I did.
“So beautiful.” He walked a circle around her and I couldn’t stop the anger as I viewed him as the predator I knew that lived inside. Jaime was too much like me. Dominant. Sadistic. Maybe not to my level, but I’d yet to see him stay interested in a woman long enough to find out.
“You think so? I still don’t know. It’s hard to look at myself in the mirror.”
“I love it.” He stopped directly in front of her. “It suits you. What made you decide to c
ut it?”
Her head turned and her eyes came to me.
“I cut it. Well, not like that. We had it fixed this morning.”
The smile melted from Jaime’s face. “You cut her hair off? In anger?”
“Yes, I did. And I’d do it again. She deserved it.”
Diane’s mouth pursed, but she kept quiet.
“Where’s the stuff?” I stepped forward, coming more toward them. Jaime’s head gestured to the door.
“I put it outside your door.” Still, his eyes kept coming back to Diane. I didn’t like it. Not at all.
“Slave, come with me. I got you something to wear for tonight. You can get ready while Jaime and I get everything prepared.”
Diane followed me to the bags and I handed them over, motioning with my finger for her to leave us. At her door shutting, I reached into my pocket, taking my phone out, and started for the stairs. My fingers fumbled over the buttons while I pulled up the monitors.
“Prepare? I thought you had the food delivered?”
My eyes cut over as I entered the kitchen. “I did, but the food isn’t going to make it to the table by itself. Here.” I put down the phone and opened the cabinet, taking out three plates. Jaime was staring down at my screen while I held them out. Diane was undressed, standing in her bra and panties, but with her back facing the camera.
“Fuck, she is amazing. That ass…”
“Hey,” I snapped. “You focus on what’s happening here. Not there.” I pushed the plates into his chest. Jealousy scorched my insides, making the beast in me roar with the need to protect what it felt was mine.
“Jesus. You know, if I wasn’t smart, I’d say you’ve fallen for your slave.”
I took out the glasses and silverware, pausing before I took out a third knife.
“You’re wrong, Jaime. I haven’t fallen for anyone. She’s obviously getting dressed and if you didn’t put something in there that will harm her, she doesn’t deserve to be spied on. Especially with your intentions.”
What a hypocrite I was, but he didn’t need to know that.
I turned the phone over, taking one last look at her sliding the dress past her curvy hips. Damn, she did look good wearing panties and a bra. I’d seen her nude for so long that the material served as a tease.
“We’ll eat in the formal dining room tonight, so go ahead and set everything up while I carry the food over.”
Jaime disappeared and I picked up my phone, hitting the button to turn it off as I placed it back in my pocket. I could trust her for now. If she didn’t appear in the next few minutes, I’d check on her again.
The oven was still going, keeping the steaks warm. I walked past them to the fridge and took out the sides. The white boxes were something I was used to. They were Mrs. Clawson’s and she’d been cooking for me for years now. The big orders to the supermarket were made monthly and I usually took trips to pick them up in between slaves, but Diane was taking longer than the others.
“Here, let me have those.” Jaime walked up and I turned, handing them over. As he disappeared through the door again, I placed my palms on the counter, lowering my head. I couldn’t stop the truth from sinking in no matter how hard I tried to deny it. Last night had changed things. I’d given her something I never should have. By going back to being Master, I knew she would have a hard time growing feelings for me, but what if it wasn’t enough? Here I was, taking a broken woman and trying to fix her. Feelings for each other didn’t mix well in that field. When we separated, would she be okay…or would she want more from me? It was almost enough to make me reconsider Jaime’s offer. Would it be best to separate from her now? Could I let her go so soon? What if something did happen because I didn’t build her strength up enough before I let her go? Shit. I was so damn confused and that never happened.
I pulled my phone back out, not able to take it anymore. As the monitor came on, I narrowed my eyes. Diane wasn’t in her room. My finger swiped to the next screen even as I made my way to the entry of the kitchen to see if she was coming down the stairs. Nothing.
Parlor, study, my bathroom, my bedroom…I stopped, seeing her lying on my bed. The sobs that wracked her body were evident. Uneasiness had me taking a step forward.
“You going to check on her?”
I stopped, turning to look at Jaime. “Yeah. We’ll be right down.”
He nodded and I stopped my advance. “Why don’t you go check on her? She’s in my room.” The words made me sick, but I had to know how they were together without me there. A plan was beginning to push into the back of my mind and I couldn’t stop myself from putting it into motion.
Jaime swept past, heading for the stairs. I stayed still while I watched him take them two at a time. My pulse was escalating by the second. Would she let him comfort her? How far would he try to go to calm her? Too many questions and I was nervous to have them answered.
My stare lowered to the screen. Diane had my pillow in her arms and she was curled around it. What caused the breakdown? Something had to have triggered it. Was it me? She had been about to tell me something before we were interrupted.
Jaime stepped through the threshold, slowly advancing toward her. I hit the volume, turning up the sound.
“You okay?”
Diane pushed up, wiping her cheeks as she plastered a smile to her face. “Oh, yes, sorry. I was just on my way down. I don’t know what came over me.”
Jaime advanced forward until he came to sit on the edge of the bed. His large frame made her look tiny next to him. Is that how we appeared? I was taller and a little wider than he was.
“Do you want to talk about it? About this?” His hand rose, wrapping around the hair that framed her face. My hand squeezed around the phone tighter, but I stayed still, letting the fire take over my insides. This was Jaime. I shouldn’t have been so upset.
“No,” she whispered, moving back to fit herself against the headboard.
Jaime turned more in her direction, adjusting himself on the bed. “How is this going, Diane? Overall, is Master treating you okay? I haven’t really had a chance to talk to you.”
I knew I should storm upstairs and end it, but I was curious of what she thought, too. I knew nothing good could come out of it, but I couldn’t resist.
“Everything is…fine. Why? Does it even really matter? You can’t do anything about it, just like I can’t. It’s pointless to even talk about this right now.”
“I don’t think so.” His voice was smooth, calm, as he tried coaxing her to converse with him. “It would make me happy to hear how things are going for you. You’ve come so far. I’m very proud of that.”
Diane’s eyes narrowed while she stared across the room. “I said I don’t want to talk about it. I’m…more worried how my life is going to play out after this is all over.”
Jaime nodded. “That’s understandable. Do you have a plan?”
“I do. What you said to me on the way over, it’s made me question a lot of things. You asked if I could do one good thing, what would it be. I’ve decided to go back to nursing. But that’s not my good deed. I want to do more. Something charity related like Master. I just don’t know what yet.”
A smile came to his face and he reached out and grabbed her hand. Diane’s head snapped over, but she didn’t remove it from his grasp.
“I think it’s wonderful that you’ve chosen that path. You know, I’m a part of several charities, too. I could help you pick which one is right for you.”
“You’d help me do that?”
The edge of his mouth pulled back. “I’d probably do anything you asked. Within reason, of course.”
Open flirtation. I breathed out deeply, trying to gain control. This wasn’t a big deal. Diane was a beautiful woman. Faulting Jaime was pointless. I couldn’t blame him for finding her attractive.
“You really should stop doing that,” she said lowly.
“Doing what? Complimenting you? Showing interest?”
The hair framing her face
swayed as she nodded. “Yes. You don’t mean it. You’re just trying to make me feel better. It’s very sweet, but really, it’s uncalled for. I’m fine.”
“You know, when I said you shouldn’t be embarrassed from the spankings Master gave you, I meant that. You have a very nice ass. I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t the truth. That wasn’t me trying to make you feel better because of your punishment. That was me being honest. What do you think about that?”
So, that had been what he whispered. It took all I had to calm. The only thing keeping me in a stable state of mind was watching the screen. Diane’s lips parted and she turned away. “Then you should stay away from me. I’m clearly a walking disaster. Surely, you see that.”
I sat down on the fourth step from the bottom, not even knowing how I got there. Still, I watched.
“You may see yourself that way, but what I see is an extremely strong woman. I know what Master is capable of, and here you are. Your spirit isn’t broken. You have a plan. A way to succeed at life now, if that’s what you choose. I’m enamored by you, Diane.”
“Fuck,” I breathed out. Could I keep watching this? My hand held to the step as an anchor so I didn’t ruin what else might happen between them.
Her hand pulled back from his. “I’m flattered, Jaime. I really am, but I’m sorry. I’m not sure I’m ready to have anyone’s attention yet. You understand, don’t you?”
Damn if he didn’t reach back out and grab her hand again. “I have all the time in the world.” He placed a kiss on her knuckles. “Shall we? Master is probably wondering what’s taking so long.”
I stood, heading to the kitchen, at the same time, turning off the volume to the phone. Diane was already standing. I closed out the monitors and pushed the phone in my pocket. Well, at least she’d made her feelings clear, and they didn’t seem interested in a relationship of any kind. Something about that sparked my bad side.
Clicking from her stilettos sounded in the distance. I pretended not to hear as I pulled out the steaks and placed them on the top of the stove. While I arranged them on a platter, I couldn’t stop the slight shaking of my hands. Everything in me — the good, the bad — it wanted to possess her in every way imaginable. To pull her into me and tell her she didn’t have a choice on the attention I wanted to bestow upon her. Relationship, be damned. If I wanted to have one with her, I would. And she’d fucking love it. But, I had to think more on this plan. Figure out what I wanted for her and what was best.
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