It was easy to get in the car, easy to do what Rayford directed. The other time there had been no one to tell him what to do. He’d had to make all the decisions, bad decisions that led to failing everyone.
“Where?” Luke asked. It was the only word he could manage.
“Out on County Club Road at the curve, about forty-five minutes ago. We’ve been looking for you. No other vehicle involved. Looks like she hydroplaned and hit a tree.”
Just like Carrie. Except Lanie wasn’t dead, not yet. And Jake wasn’t with her. Oh, God! County Club Road. She could have been on her way to Missy’s or back.
“Was Emma with her?”
Rayford jerked his head around. “Your little girl? No one said so. Should she have been?”
“Lanie was taking her to the Braggs’ house and then going to the country club.”
“The Braggs’?” Luke could practically see Rayford drawing a map in his mind. “It could be either way.”
“Tell me — ”
“Judge.” Rayford held up a hand. “I don’t know anything else. If I did, bad or good, I’d tell you. There’s no easier way in these situations.” Rayford stopped at a red light.
“Turn on the siren,” Luke said.
There was no more talk until Rayford screeched in front of the ER entrance. “I’ll find out about your little girl.”
The sterile hospital air felt like isopropyl alcohol that had been in the freezer. There was a line at the counter. He barreled to the front.
“Hey!” said the man behind him.
“You’ll have to wait your turn, sir,” the clerk said.
“Where is my fiancée? Lanie Heaven.” He had to see that she was okay, had to find out about Emma.
“Sit down,” she said. “Someone will be with you soon.”
He recognized time wasting when he saw it. He also recognized a pair of double doors with a sign that said, No Admittance Without Authorization.
As he bolted toward them, a voice called out, “Sir, you cannot — ”
In fact, he could. The door opened right up when he pushed it.
A woman wearing green scrubs was hot on his heels. “Sir, stop or I’ll call security.”
“Good luck with that,” he barked as he started pushing aside curtains. “That will be an off duty policeman and I’m a circuit judge.”
Empty cubicle. He reached for another curtain.
“Stop it!” she said. “Stop it, right now!”
Kid getting stitches. He moved on to the next cubical but this time the doctor placed herself in his path.
“Are you Judge Lucas Avery?”
Finally. “Yes. Where’s my fiancée?”
“I’m Doctor Gamble. Follow me.” She led him to a cubicle and pulled the curtain. He steeled himself for the worst but he didn’t expect an empty room.
“Where is she?”
“She’s been getting a CT scan. They’re about to bring her back down. I just got the call.”
“Is she alive?” He had to ask.
Her face softened a little. “Yes, though she has a subdural hematoma.”
“Speak English.”
“In simple terms, there is bleeding between the brain tissue and the layer of tissue next to the skull. In most cases, the blood will absorb back into the brain without complications. Though I won’t lie to you — brain injury is tricky. The good news is she was conscious when she was brought in. Not lucid, but that’s common. Her vitals were good. Her hemoglobin level was excellent, which means there’s no indication of internal injury. Her leg is broken. When she gets back down here, we’ll reduce the fracture.” Dr. Gamble pursed her lips. Now the worse news was coming. Luke could smell it. “We don’t know about the baby yet.”
Oh, God, no. Not Emma. For a second he’d forgotten. How could he have forgotten? He had to get to her.
“Where is she?”
“I told you she’s on her way back down.” Dr. Gamble looked confused. Just what they needed — a confused doctor.
“Judge.” Rayford Stumps stuck his head in the cubicle. “I talked to Harris Bragg. Emma’s there, safe and sound. Harris said to say he’ll be here as soon as the sitter comes.”
Relief shot through him. The doctor was wrong.
Yet she kept talking. “After we take care of her leg, we’ll do a sonogram and see what’s going on.”
Sonogram. Baby. Lanie was pregnant?
The doctor looked at her clipboard. “Judging from her HGC hormone level, I put her at about six weeks. Is that right?”
He nodded, though he had no idea. Maybe Lanie didn’t know herself.
“Is she on any medication, apart from the prenatal vitamins we found in her purse?”
Prenatal vitamins. She knew. That’s why she had been pushing for a wedding date. How like her to think an out-of-wedlock pregnancy would be a scandal. She was probably afraid it would affect his chances of being elected, afraid that it would reflect on his father’s good name. And she had known when she’d heard what he said to the fortuneteller.
He wanted to bang his head against the wall, give himself a subdural hematoma.
“Is she?” the doctor said impatiently. “On any other medication?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Does she have any health issues or preexisting conditions?”
“Not that I know of.” What kind of man was he, not to know those things about the mother of child? No. The mother of his children — Emma, this baby, and the babies to come.
“Has she been under any stress?”
Well, Doctor, one might say so. She got engaged to an asshole, got pregnant, and felt that he was such an asshole that she couldn’t tell him.
“There have been a lot of changes in her life lately.” The doctor frowned. She didn’t like that.
If he had to pick between the baby he would love and the woman he was in love with, there was no question.
In love. There were the words that he had not been able to find earlier, but they had been true then and they were true now.
“Listen,” he said. “You do your best for Lanie. Don’t consider anything else. The — that is, everything else is secondary.”
“We only have one patient, Judge Avery.” She looked over his shoulder. “And here she is.”
Her forehead was bandaged and she lay perfectly still. He stepped aside so they could wheel the bed into place. There were bleeping, flashing things hooked up to her. That was good. By the time he’d gotten to Jake, there’d been no monitors. Carrie had never been taken to the hospital.
“I thought you said she was conscious.” Luke gripped her ankle through the sheet. He wanted to touch her face but there were too many people buzzing around. No room for him.
“We’ve given her a mild dose of valium to keep her calm and some pain medication.” The doctor pulled out her penlight and opened Lanie’s eyelids. “Good pupil response. Ms. Heaven, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?” Lanie’s eyes fluttered open, but barely.
“Call her Lanie,” Luke said. “No one calls her Ms. Heaven.”
The doctor nodded. “Lanie, talk to me. Where are you?”
“Orange refrigerator,” Lanie mumbled.
“Good enough for now,” the doctor said.
Luke was about to ask in what universe that could be considered good when he heard frantic footsteps in the hall behind him. He looked out the curtain to see three terrified faces. Tolly was crying and Lucy and Missy looked surreal and out of place with fancy upswept hairdos — all fixed up for a dance none of them would attend.
Something broke in him. He couldn’t remember feeling this way before — not even when Carrie and Jake died. Three pairs of arms opened to him and he let himself go to them.
CHAPTER TWEN
TY-FOUR
It was day two now, almost noon. The obstetrician, Dr. McGowan, had just left. Luke sat quietly at Lanie’s beside in the ICU. He tried not to move or even breathe audibly. The rules had been made very clear. He could be here as long as he remained calm and didn’t upset her. The first sign of high heart rate or blood pressure and he was out.
There had been good news from the sonogram but none since. The first forty-eight hours were critical and that was half gone. The goal was for Lanie to rest without slipping into unconsciousness. It was imperative that there be no bleeding or swelling in the brain. According to her last CT scan, that part was going okay. But the trauma doctor had flatly said she should have been more lucid by now. Her pupil response was good but only once had she followed a directive and squeezed a nurse’s hand. If she spoke, it was gibberish.
Everyone tried to be positive but nobody would promise anything. Luke wasn’t going to fail the woman he loved again — at least no more than he already had. And he did love her. If all he could do was be with her when she died, that’s what he’d do.
The curtain opened and Bailey, the nurse who’d been on duty when Lanie was first brought to the ICU, came in. She looked cheerful in her University of Georgia Bulldog scrubs. He’d been glad to see her when she came earlier. He liked her much better than the night nurse. He stood up.
“Hello!” she said brightly. If there was no improvement by Bailey’s next shift, they were in trouble. She changed Lanie’s IV and fiddled with the monitors, all the while talking to Lanie about the weather and Georgia Bulldog football.
She turned to him. “How are you, Judge Avery?”
“Call me Luke,” he whispered. Maybe if he were nicer, Lanie would come back.
“Luke it is.” She removed a penlight from her pocket. The neuro checks again. They’d done this every hour for — how many hours? He could have done it himself by now. First the eyes, then the questions and the directives.
“Lanie!” Bailey called like a pep squad leader. “Can you hear me?” Her eyes fluttered open. Luke backed up. He didn’t want her to see him. If she got upset, who knew what would happen? “Good. Now squeeze my hand. Can you squeeze my hand?” There was a long pause. “Lanie, squeeze my hand.”
He felt sick. She wasn’t going to do it.
“Okay,” Bailey said. “Let’s try something else. I want you to talk to me. Tell you your name.”
“Fish swimming upstream,” Lanie mumbled.
“That’s not her name,” Luke said.
“No,” Bailey agreed. “But she’s speaking. Her vitals and other numbers are good. And as I’ve told you, this gibberish is not unusual. It’s not time to panic. Not even close.”
“Will you tell me when that time comes?”
She smiled a kind smile. “Why don’t you come and try?” This wasn’t the first time she’d asked him. He had to do it or give a reason why not.
“She was mad at me when she had the wreck.” Distracted because she was mad at me, but he didn’t have to say that. “I’m afraid of agitating her.”
“I doubt any little disagreement you two had is on her mind now. I’m betting she just wants to know you’re here and her baby is all right.”
Well, he wouldn’t call it a little disagreement, but maybe he should try. “Will you stay? And watch the monitors?”
“I will. And I’ll stop you if she starts to get upset.”
He reached to take Lanie’s hand. He hadn’t touched her except to lightly stroke her ankle through the blanket when he was very sure she was sleeping soundly. Her hand felt warmer than he’d expected. He brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss there. So badly, he wanted to work his way around the tubes and machines and climb into bed with her, to give her comfort — give himself comfort. So stupid. If only he’d been able to assure her that he loved her, there might not have been a wreck. Now it might be too late. He glanced at Bailey. She smiled and nodded. “Talk to her.”
“Lanie,” he whispered.
“Louder,” Bailey said and clapped her hands like a cheerleader. “Make her hear you! Pretend you’re in court.”
If he was in court, he was the one on trial. “Lanie, it’s Luke.”
“She’s doing fine,” Bailey said. “Tell her to squeeze your hand.”
“Lanie, squeeze my hand.” Was it his imagination or had her hand moved? “Lanie! Squeeze my hand.” And she did. Definitely, a squeeze. He nodded to Bailey, who pumped her fist in the air. “Do it again.” Another squeeze. If Lanie came through this, he was definitely donating a large sum of money to the University of Georgia. Maybe the nursing program. Maybe the cheerleaders.
“You’re doing great and so is she,” Bailey said excitedly. “Talk. Say what’s on your mind.”
Say out loud what was on his mind? In front of a stranger? But time was growing short.
“Lanie, I’ve been right here with you the whole time. There are lots of people in the waiting room. Missy, Lucy, Tolly, and Nathan. I called Brantley. He came. Father Gregory’s been here, plus people I don’t even know. Harris is on his way to Birmingham right now to pick up your parents at the airport. Mine are on their way back from Japan early. My sister’s coming. You need to come back so you can see everybody.”
“Now tell her something important!” Bailey commanded, stepping closer.
He took a deep breath. “I won’t leave you. I love you so much. And it’s not a quiet, settled love. It’s not surrender. It’s loud and messy and necessary. And wonderful. I miss you and I want you to come back to me. Emma misses you too. Your baby — our baby — is fine. Guess what? I saw the sonogram. He’s about the size of a lima bean but he was swimming away. He doesn’t even know his mommy had a wreck.”
“Her heart rate’s up,” Bailey said.
Alarmed, Luke jerked his hand away.
“No,” Bailey said with a huge bright smile. “It’s good. It’s up, not high. She understands you. This is huge! Keep going.” He almost expected her to say, “Ready, okay!”
“Our baby is a boy. He wasn’t big enough to really tell, but I know just like I knew Emma was a girl. Not that it matters to me. I don’t need a son to make me feel like a man. For that, all I need is for you to be my wife. Next time I see him, I want it to be with you. Now, open your eyes. Look at me.”
She squeezed his hand. He could feel her! There was energy!
Euphoric, he laughed. “Oh, you’re being stubborn aren’t you? Letting me know you’re in there without doing what I tell you.” He bent and kissed her brow. “Now, there is something else I want to take up with you. You know what you said about me trying to change you? Maybe it seemed that way. Maybe it was even a little true. Really, I got the SUV for you because I wanted you to have a safer vehicle but I should have talked to you about it. Just goes to show there are no guarantees. But that is a moot point. It’s over for you and that SUV. It’s totaled. I still think you need something bigger, but when you get over this, if you want to go back to driving your old car, that’s your business. I don’t care. But I am not apologizing about the floor. You were breaking the law, so you have to give me that one. As far as the clothes go, well — you have such a pretty body, I just wanted to see it. But I can see you any time I want without any clothes — at least I hope you’ll still let me. So maybe it would be better if you go back to your baggy things so other men don’t look at you. Your call. I love your work clothes now. No. Wait. That’s a lie. I don’t. But I love you and just want to see you in them — even those lime green pants with the gummy bears and they are the worst. In fact, I would love it if you would wear those pants when you marry me. Wear the peeps apron with them. You’ll still be the most beautiful bride to ever walk and breathe. Emma can wear her bee suit. I’ll — well, I don’t know what I’ll wear. Find me the most embarrassing thing you can think of. I deserve it. Maybe a pirate outfit. We’
ll all look just as festive as hell. We won’t have a quiet, settled wedding because this is not a quiet, settled love. It never will be. Thank God.” He leaned in close and placed his hands on her cheeks. “Lanie Heaven. Open those eyes and look at the man who loves you.”
She opened her eyes and frowned. Did that mean she was getting upset?
“She’s frowning,” he said to Bailey.
“It’s a response! Get her to say something lucid! You can do it!” Bailey looked like she was about to turn cartwheels.
He took a deep breath and looked deep into her eyes. “Lanie, you are the love of my heart. Please, talk to me. Please, come back to me and give me a chance to love you even more if that’s possible. Say something — anything that makes sense.”
Her eyes cleared. “Windex eyes,” she said.
“Oh,” Bailey said, every bit the dejected cheerleader who was trying not to be disappointed that her team had lost. “I really thought she was about to say something lucid.”
Luke laughed out loud.
“Dimples,” Lanie said.
He laughed again. Lanie closed her eyes but she smiled a little and squeezed his hand.
EPILOGUE
It was a beautiful night for an outside summer party — warm, breezy, and every star in the galaxy had come out to play. The space behind the Avery farmhouse was lined with red and white striped tents and illuminated by thousands of fairy lights. The trappings had been planned to inspire gaiety and accommodate a lot of people. The small wedding ceremony had been attended only by family, the book club girls, Brantley Kincaid, and Nathan Scott, but it seemed that every citizen of Merritt had turned out for the reception to help celebrate with the two buffets, three bars, portable dance floor, and classic rock band.
The bride did not wear gummy bear pants or a peeps apron. The simple champagne silk dress had come from the same shop her husband had taken her to before but this time she had asked to go. She knew there was a seamstress there who would know how to compensate for her cast and her slightly expanding waist.
It was no surprise that everything was magical and perfect. Gail Avery and Judith Heaven had obsessed over every detail as they sat side-by-side, hour after hour at Merritt General Hospital, waiting for someone other than Luke to assure them that Lanie was going to be fine. He knew it before anyone would believe him. When everyone else thought she was still speaking gibberish, he understood that Lanie’s thoughts were perfectly lucid. It was just taking a little time for her body to catch up to her brain. It didn’t matter, he told Lanie later, that they could make no sense of what she said — sparkly kiss, Mustang Sally, circle waffle, banana pudding. He understood. These were the words of their life together — the first of many.
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