by L. P. Maxa
He stood, his hands on his hips as he surveyed the box-free living room. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“You left pretty quick last night.” She wanted to ask what happened. What bug had jumped up his ass to make him tear out of her house like it was on fire? But at the same time she wanted to leave it alone. Things were odd between them. Intense and consuming. Rationally, she knew she should back off, push him away a little. But the reality and truth was, she wanted him too badly. And she wasn’t ready to let this deep desire inside her go. Not yet.
Ignoring her statement, he crossed the room, picked her up, and threw her over his shoulder. He carried her straight into her bedroom before setting her back on her feet. He reached behind him and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head like it was the most natural thing in the world to be undressing in her house.
“Hey, why did Corey say that you normally don’t like Sunday dinners? What’s that about?”
Madden took her shirt off and tossed it on her dresser, following suit. “You answer my question and I’ll answer yours.”
Linc unbuttoned his jeans. “I left because I wanted to stay.”
Madden doubted anyone other than her would understand his answer. But she got it, all too well. “I don’t do Sunday dinners because that was a rule in my house and I find the whole thing unappealing.” They always put on a show, pretending they were so in love. It’d made her sick. She had felt nauseous during every Sunday dinner from the time she was fourteen. “Not my thing.” She pulled her leggings down and off. “Everything with them was fake, including their love for each other.” She had no idea why she added that last bit. He hadn’t asked and she wasn’t one to give away personal information like that.
Linc tossed his boxer briefs at her head. “Is that why you don’t believe in happily ever after?”
She nodded as she unclasped her bra. “Yeah. Why don’t you?”
He beckoned her to him with his finger and then kneeled down and removed her lacey panties. “I never said I didn’t.”
When he stood, Madden shoved him down on her bed. “Condom.” She waited until he grabbed one and rolled it on before she climbed on the bed, straddling his hips.
He grabbed his cock and held it out. “What are you waiting for, baby?”
She narrowed her eyes and then sank down on him, hard.
Chapter Seventeen
Linc
They went over to Corey and Dom’s separately. Linc let Madden go first, which was a mistake. Because when he walked in, she was sitting with Baze, her hand on his leg as she laughed at something he said. Linc balled his hands into fists to keep from punching his best friend in the face. He didn’t want Madden sitting next to Baze, and didn’t want her fake flirting with him. And damn if that wasn’t pissing him off.
Pissing him off and scaring the shit out of him.
He was jealous and possessive and dominant. All the things he swore to himself last night that he wasn’t. He kept trying to fuck her without a condom and he’d asked her on more than one occasion to look at him while she came. You know what that spelled? Bonding. Motherfucking bonding.
Shifters mated for life; it was a fact. When you found your forever, that was the end. You lived together happily ever after until the day you died. Such a load of shit. Linc didn’t want to be tied to just one woman, did he? Madden was a knockout and she was a champ in bed. But forever? No thanks. Plus, Madden didn’t do relationships, so it wasn’t a match. The universe must have messed up. The powers that be needed to release the stranglehold they had on his brain and leave him the hell alone.
He wasn’t ready.
Linc’s initial move was to stride past Baze and Madden. But that mental pep talk he’d just given himself was apparently all for fucking nothing, because his messed-up instinct took over and he walked right up to them instead. “Seems like you two are becoming fast friends.” Linc heard the contempt in his voice, but he couldn’t help it.
Baze glanced up, his brow furrowed. “Is that a problem, man?”
Linc clenched his jaw together. Yes. It’s a huge fucking problem, because seeing the two of them together was torture. “Nah, no problem. Apparently Madden will take all the friends she can get.” Low blow. Low fucking jealousy-filled blow.
Madden’s foot shot out and caught Linc in the shin. He deserved that, and more probably.
Baze looked between Madden and Linc. “Uh, okay?”
Linc sent her one last irritated gaze before he strode off and reached into the ice chest for a beer. He needed to calm the hell down. He twisted open the top and gulped the whole thing down without stopping.
“Damn. You okay, Coach?”
Linc threw the empty beer in the trash and then pulled two more, handing one to Riley. “No. Actually, I’m—”
“Linc.”
He turned toward the house when he heard Corey yelling his name from the open kitchen window.
“We are on school property.” She gestured to the beer in Riley’s hand.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry about that.” Linc grabbed the bottle, opened it, poured it into an empty red solo cup sitting on the patio table and then handed it back to the youngest packmate.
Corey made an irritated face while she shook her head but disappeared further into the kitchen. Riley hid his smile inside his cup.
Linc headed to the end of the concrete slab, keeping his back to Madden and Baze. Maybe if he didn’t watch, maybe if he got a nice little buzz going…
“Coop is going to kick your ass one of these days.” Keller came and stood beside him, facing the woods and laughing.
“I figure I still have a couple of months.” Linc glanced behind him to make sure Corey wasn’t listening. “She’s too slow to catch me right now.”
“So.” Keller paused to take a sip from his bottle. “How long have you been fucking Madden?”
Linc choked on the gulp he’d just swallowed, slapping a hand to chest. “I’m not fucking Madden.”
Keller leveled him with a knowing stare. “I can feel the jealousy and lust pouring off of you, bro. It’s palpable.”
He didn’t know what to say to that. Keller was perceptive; so was Baze for that matter. Keller could sense emotion, but Baze could detect changes in your makeup. Subtle differences. If Linc had spent any time with Baze over the weekend, he would have been able to pick up on Linc’s mood as well. He hung his head, tired of the lies already. “All weekend.”
“Baze is going to ream your ass.” Keller peered over his shoulder, looking back toward the house where Baze and Madden were still sitting together.
Linc shrugged. “At this point, Baze is the least of my worries.” He downed the rest of his beer then tossed his second empty into the trash.
Keller handed him the unopened one he’d brought with him instead of making him slow down like Linc figured he would. “Does this have anything to do with the jealousy?”
“Yep.” Linc nodded, his lips on the ice-cold bottle. “And the possessiveness and the dominance and the constant need to be inside her.”
“You mean what I think you mean?”
“I don’t know, man. Sometimes I think all this could be because she’s mine. But then in the next moment, I’m not sure.” He turned the bottle up, draining most of it. “I’ve been with her, a lot. Wouldn’t instincts have taken over by now? Wouldn’t I have claimed her without her permission?” It felt good to get all that off his chest, to talk to someone who might be able to help him figure his shit out.
“No.” Keller met his eyes. “If she’s yours Linc, you’d never hurt her. And if claiming her without her knowledge would hurt her, your body won’t let you do it.”
He scoffed. “How would my damn body even know that? It’s not like we’ve ever discussed it. She doesn’t know anything about what we are.”
“If she’s made for you, if she’s your soul mate, you already know her. You already know what would cause her pain or fear.” Keller raised an eyebrow when Linc didn’t argue the point.
“What else, man? Tell me what else has been going on between you two. Maybe it’s bonding, maybe it’s you being an asshole.”
Keller was a good friend. He knew that this wasn’t something Linc wanted right now, if ever. He was trying to give him hope, trying to help. “I’ve never even wanted to fuck the same chick twice, let alone wanted to stare into her fucking eyes while I did it. So, there’s that. Oh, or how about the fact that every time we’re about to have sex, she has to remind me to put a damn condom on? Cherry on top? Seeing her over there talking to Baze? Makes me want to rip his heart out and then shove it down his throat.”
Keller winced. “Sorry, man, but sure sounds like mating to me. I felt the same way once things started to get physical with Molly. I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t get enough. I wanted to kill Agent Brooks every time he came near her.” Linc hung his head. Admitting what he’d been going through, saying it all out loud? Getting Keller’s opinion? It made everything real. And it made it terrifying. “What are you going to do?”
“Hell if I know.” Even to his own ears he sounded miserable.
“You have to complete the bond. The pain I put Molly and me through—I’d never wish that feeling on my worst enemy. The mood swings, the aggression…you don’t have a choice, Linc. You are going to go crazy. You’ll be too hard to handle.” Keller sent him a sad smile. “You’ll become uncontrollable.”
Linc knew that his packmate was right. He knew what was coming; he’d seen Keller and Dom go through the whole thing. Start to finish. But knowing what was happening didn’t make things any damn easier. It made him angry. “Oh, yeah. No big fucking deal. I’ll just walk up to Madden, the chick who doesn’t believe in love or happily ever after and tell her that she’s my mother fucking soul mate and we have to be bonded together or it’ll end up driving us both insane. Sounds like a great idea. Why didn’t I think of that?” Linc hadn’t meant to raise his voice. He hadn’t meant to scream, but he’d lost control. Again.
Keller’s eyes were huge and the patio was quiet. The whole damn world had gone silent. There were no birds chirping, no cricket noises. Nothing. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
“You’re a shifter?”
His eyes flew open at the soft sound of Madden’s voice. He spun around to face her, watching as her gaze went from person to person. “You’re all shifters.”
Corey gasped and Riley dropped his beer.
Baze stood and pointed a finger at Linc. “You fucked Madden?”
Really? The no fucking medical personnel was what he was going to focus on right now? That seemed stupid. Linc ignored Baze and took a step toward Madden, thinking she would take a step away. But she didn’t. She didn’t waver. She stood her ground. “You know what that is? You know what we are?”
She nodded, her jaw locked tight.
“How?” He wanted to close the space between them. He wanted to hold her hand or rub her back. He wanted to do anything to help ease the look of panic on her beautiful face.
She bit her bottom lip, causing Linc’s dick to instantly harden despite the seriousness of what was taking place. “I met some shifters when I was backpacking through Spain a few years ago. There was this one guy, he owned a bar, and we, uh, became close.”
Linc took a menacing step in her direction, unable to help himself. “Close how?” If she said it, if she’d been with another shifter, he’d snap. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop the anger, the jealousy.
Keller grabbed his arm and Dom moved to stand in front of Corey and Molly. His friends, his packmates knew what would happen. They knew, because they would have done the same thing in his situation.
“I, uh, we partied together. It wasn’t like, well, we were friends.” Madden still didn’t back away, didn’t back down. She may be upset, but she wasn’t afraid of him.
He’d like to think it was because instinctually she knew he’d never hurt her. But it was probably just because she had balls of steel. “Friends? Like you and I are friends?” He heard the contempt in his voice, the accusation, and he hated it.
She shook her head no, and Keller dropped his arm. The bomb that was Linc had been defused.
He calmed to some degree, a little of the possessiveness leaving his body. He reached for her hand, his voice now gentle. “Madden. We need to talk.”
That time she did take a step back, shaking her head adamantly. “No.”
“There are things you don’t—”
“Oh, I understand. I understand it all.” She sent him a small shrug, like she was sorry. “But you’re wrong. I’m not made for you. I’m not made for anyone. That kind of love? That stupidly blind forever kind? That’s not for me. You must have read your tea leaves wrong.” She turned to leave, her wild, dark hair spinning behind her.
Linc hung his head, ashamed at what he knew was true. He called out after her, “I’ll follow you.” He never wanted to be this guy. He’d never planned on being a bonded male. Never. “I don’t have a choice. I won’t be able to fight it. I’m drawn to you. I can’t be away from you. I’m so sorry, baby.”
Her eyes flashed fire at his words. “You might not have a choice. But I do.” She took off toward the side gate, slamming it shut behind her.
The patio was still silent. Clearly, no one knew quite what to say. And he didn’t blame them. He was at a loss too. Dom and Corey had bonded instantly, with no drama or hesitation. Keller and Molly’s mating had been an accident, but Molly accepted it all with relative ease. Deep down Linc knew that Madden would never go easy into something like this. She bucked commitment; she never wanted to be tied to just one person. He knew exactly where she was coming from, because neither did he. He hated that he was doing this to her, to both of them.
Linc took a step to follow her and Corey took a step toward him. “She needs some time, some space.”
Linc gave her a small smile. “And I wish I could give it to her, I really do, Corey.” He shook his head. “But it’s gone too far.”
“How many times?” Baze rose to his feet, coming closer to his friend. “How many times have you fucked her?”
“Does that really matter right now? Does that stupid contract really fucking matter?” Linc wanted to punch the fence. Or Baze. Punching Baze would make him feel better. “And stop talking about her like that.” He couldn’t stand to hear Baze call it fucking, even though up until thirty minutes ago that’s what he’d called it too. His life had changed with one realization. Now he knew he’d never be the same.
“It’s not about the contract, you jerk wad.” Baze shook his head and spoke quieter, calmer. “How many times?”
“I’ve lost count. Every day. Over and over for the last three days. I can’t get enough of her. At first I thought…” He sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter. I thought wrong. Madden’s mine, she’s always been mine.” Once he said the words, once he put it out there, it was like the piece of him holding on to his old life just fell away. Nothing else mattered anymore, just Madden.
Baze, hands on his hips, addressed the pack. “He’s right. It’s gone too far. They have to complete it. There is no other way.”
Molly wrapped her arm around her mate’s waist. “Why aren’t they in pain? Like we were?”
“Because he’s been inside her. He’s possessive and jealous and—”
“Violent.” It was taking all the strength he had to stand here and talk to his pack. His whole body was demanding he go after Madden.
“You hurt her?” Riley looked confused.
“No. I’d never hurt her.” Linc shoved his hands in his pockets. “I shattered a beer bottle with my bare hand and almost broke the arms off that chair over there.” He walked to the side gate, reaching for the latch. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
No one tried to stop him. They knew it was no use. He’d fight them if they did. He was a male shifter in the process of bonding with his mate. Nothing could derail the train he was on.
Absolutely nothing.
Either she�
��d agree to be his, or he’d end up…what? Would he hurt himself? His brothers?
He knew he’d never hurt Madden, but everyone else he wasn’t so sure.
Chapter Eighteen
Madden
She slammed her front door the same way she’d slammed Corey’s gate. She threw the deadbolt, but then thought better of it. The last thing she needed was Linc breaking down her front door. Oh, she knew all about shifters all right. She’d spent months hanging out with a whole bar full of them.
They were strong and irrational, but man they were a good time. She hadn’t lied; she’d never slept with any of them. They went through girls like she went through underwear. All of them had joked about the fact that Madden was immune to their charm. They’d laughed and said it was because she was meant for another shifter, like that was the only explanation. She thought they were just being sore losers. But either way, they told her about everything, shared every secret they’d sworn to protect, all about shifters and their soul mates. She’d never believed them because she wasn’t meant for anyone.
Madden loved her life. She loved being free. She loved doing whatever she wanted whenever she felt like it. In fact, Spain was the first place she ran away to after college. She’d been young and wild; she’d been high on the freedom and adventure. Spain was the first place there were no rules, no schedule, no expectations. She got to be herself, truly herself, for the first time in her life.
Her front door flew open, banging against the wall. “Baby, I—”
Madden shook her head, taking a few steps away from him. She wasn’t afraid. It was the opposite. She wanted to touch him, console him. And that couldn’t happen.
“No, I’m not your baby.” Maybe in the back of her mind she’d known. She wanted him in a way she couldn’t explain. Even though she’d never admit it to herself, she felt lonely when he wasn’t around. No. She wouldn’t let this happen; she couldn’t. “I’m sorry, Linc, really I am. But you’ve got it all wrong. I’m not anyone’s forever.”