by Amber Garza
“Cold?” Cal speaks against my mouth.
“A little,” I say, our lips bumping with each syllable.
“Well, we can’t have that.” He rubs his hands up and down my spine causing heat with the friction. “Has anyone ever told you that you have the most sensual lips in the entire world?” I can’t respond with words because he clamps his mouth over mine. So instead, I melt into him. But if I was able to speak I would tell him that no one has ever said that. No one has ever said so many nice things to me, and no one has ever made me feel like this. But since I can’t say a word, I show him with my lips, with my mouth, with my tongue. As much as I want to kiss him with everything I have, I keep it soft and light. I don’t want things between us to be manic or desperate. I’ve had that before. So I keep my movements slow and tender, and he responds in kind.
It’s a dance of tender kisses, of light touches, a gentle push and pull, give and take. Our first kiss was mind-blowing, intense. This one’s different. It’s meaningful.
It’s the kind of kiss I never thought I’d have.
But the kind I’ve always dreamt of.
CAL
It’s even better than our first kiss. I didn’t even think that was possible.
When our lips disconnect, I drop my forehead to hers and breathe in deeply. But I keep my hands around her waist, not wanting to let her go. Taylor’s so hot and cold, I’m actually afraid to release her. Afraid she’ll retreat into herself again. She was so open and vulnerable before our kiss, and I want her to stay that way. But I won’t trick myself into believing she will.
“No,” she finally says, and I flinch.
“No?” I ask, wondering if this is a delayed response to me asking to kiss her. If so, it’s a little too late.
“I’m answering your question,” she explains. “No one has ever told me that I have the most sensual lips in the entire world.”
Drawing back, I grin. “Well, you do.”
Her cheeks are flushed, her hair mussed underneath her beanie that is now askew on her head. She looks sexy. “Really?”
I wonder why this surprises her. Hasn’t anyone ever told her how hot she is? I lift one of my arms, leaving the other one hooked around her waist. Then I touch her lips, tracing each line with the pads of my fingers. “Yes. Really.”
She doesn’t move, but desire is written in her eyes. Lightly I cover her lips with mine. It’s one peck. Just a tease, really. But I like it. I like that she allows me to kiss her again. It makes this real. Gives me hope that she won’t run away. When I glance around the field, it’s mostly empty. Only a few stragglers left. I think about the girls who swarmed me after the game. At first I hadn’t thought much about it. I’m used to the attention. But when I saw the look on Taylor’s face, saw her try to escape, I felt like crap. She doesn’t deserve to be shoved aside like she’s nothing. She deserves all my attention. It’s obvious that she’s used to being treated poorly, but that ends now.
I plan to do everything in my power to make her feel like the most important person in the world.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” I ask her.
“Oh yeah?” She cocks an eyebrow. “What’s so amazing about me?”
“For starters, you’re sexy as hell. Second, you’re an incredible kisser. Third, you’re strong and brave.”
Her face darkens, and she steps back. “No, I’m not.”
I tug her back to me. “Yes, you are. You wouldn’t be here in Prairie Creek if you weren’t.”
“I’m here because my parents sent me here.”
“You’re forgetting that I was with you the night Dusty was in town. You were smart and resourceful, and you hid from him.”
“That’s being brave? Hiding?”
“Sometimes hiding is the bravest thing you can do,” I tell her honestly.
“Really? How do you figure?”
“I don’t know what happened between you and him, and you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready, but when I talked to him, it was evident that you two have a pretty intense history. I know that can be hard to walk away from.”
“You know this from experience?” Her tone is hope filled.
“Sort of. My sister’s dated some major creeps, and she had a hard time walking away. And my aunt was in an abusive marriage. Stayed with the guy way too long. He almost killed her. She was too scared to leave.” I touch her face gently. “She wasn’t brave like you.”
“What makes you think Dusty abused me?”
“You were scared of him that night he was in town. I could feel it when I held you.”
She nodded. “I was scared, but you made me feel safe. No one’s ever been able to do that for me before.”
I feel equal parts happy and angry. I’m happy that I’m able to make her feel safe, but upset that she’s endured so much fear. She shouldn’t feel fear. Not ever. Drawing her close, I press her face to my chest. “From now on you’ll feel safe. I’ll make sure of it.”
Her arms wrap around me, and she snuggles close. My protective side overtakes me, and I hold her as tightly as I can. If I could hold her forever, I would. But since I know that’s not possible, I make a pact to always keep my eye on her. To always be on the lookout. If anyone tries to hurt her again, they’ll have to go through me first.
Suddenly, she jerks back. “Um…I better get home.”
I know that look. I’ve seen it before. But I’m not letting her push me away again. My hand circles her wrist. “I’ll take you home.” She opens her mouth, but I shake my head. “We’ve been through this. I’m stubborn, remember?”
“How could I forget?” Her teasing smile is back.
I thread my fingers through hers. “Keep it in mind,” I say. “Especially if you’re thinking about running away from me again.”
She sighs. “Cal, you don’t know everything about me.”
“You don’t know everything about me either,” I point out. “I would venture to say that everyone has things they keep to themselves. My parents have been married forever, and they don’t know every single thing about each other.”
“I think it’s a little more complicated with me than that.”
“Maybe, but I don’t care. I like you, and you like me. Can’t that be enough right now?”
She hesitates, but I can see in her eyes that my words have hit their mark. “Yeah,” she finally replies. “I guess it can.”
“You’ll start wearing my jacket then?”
She giggles. “What is it with you and that jacket?”
“It’s important to me.” I give her the puppy dog look that always works on my mom. I’m hoping it has the same effect on Taylor. “What do you say?”
“Fine.” She groans. “I’ll wear it to your next game.”
I shake my head.
“What?” Her eyes widen.
“Wear it to school tomorrow. Hell, wear it every day.”
Her forehead scrunches. “You want me to wear it to school? You want me to wear it every day? Why?”
Because I want everyone to know you’re mine. And if that scumbag comes back, I want him to know you’ve got someone looking out for you. That you’re no longer his.
I tug on her shirt. “Because it’s cold, and nothing you wear keeps you warm. And also, because I like seeing it on you.”
She pauses as if mulling over my words. “Okay, I’ll wear it to school,” she says. “But only because you’re right, I am cold most of the time. It will be nice to have something warmer.”
I smile, satisfied with the small victory.
****
“Where ya been?” Emmy intercepts me the minute I get home. She’s sitting on the couch watching TV by herself. I search the room for Chris.
“You’re alone?” After dropping my bat bag near the door, I enter the family room.
She nods. “Chris is helping Olivia with something, Mom’s in her office, and Dad’s already in bed.”
I sink down onto the couch next to her. Some chick flick is p
laying, so I reach for the remote.
“Hey.” She snatches the remote from my hand. “I’m watching this.”
I chuckle. “Being with Chris has turned you into a sap.”
Her eyes narrow. She tucks the remote under her leg. I shake my head. Like that’s going to stop me. If I wanted the remote badly enough I could easily overpower her and get it. “So I sat next to Taylor during the game.” She cocks a brow, willing me to share.
“Good for you,” I say, not giving her anything.
She sighs in exasperation. “She said you invited her to the game.”
“Yep.” I glance up at the flat screen mounted to the wall. “You gonna watch your stupid movie or are you gonna keep yapping?”
She rolls her eyes. “You can avoid the question, but I know something’s going on between you and Taylor.”
Annoyance rises in me. “Chris tell you that?”
She shakes her head. “Chris doesn’t tell me anything about you. We may be dating, but he’s your best friend. You can trust him.”
Her words give me peace. It’s what I figured, but I had to know for sure. “Then where did you get this information about Taylor and me?” I don’t even know why I’m being so secretive. By tomorrow everyone’s going to know about us. The girls I ignored for her have probably already started gossiping. And if she wears my jacket, then there’ll be no doubt about where we stand. I think my reaction to Emmy is out of habit. I’ve always been pretty private about who I date, but this time I want people to know. I have this irrational desire to stake my claim when it comes to her.
“I didn’t need anyone to give me information. I know you, Cal.” She shrugs. “But it also helped that I saw you two kissing after the game.”
I laugh. “Yeah. That’ll do it.”
“I’ve seen you with girls before, but this looked different to me. You really like her, huh?”
I nod, all joking gone. “Yeah. I do.”
A chuckle escapes her lips, and she shakes her head.
“What?”
“It’s just funny, that’s all.”
“What’s funny?” Mom ambles into the room. Her eyes are red, mascara ringing them. She looks like she’s coming out of a trance. Clearly she’s been in her office awhile.
I throw Emmy a warning look.
“Oh, nothing. I was just teasing Cal,” she says quickly.
Mom shakes her head, clearly confused, but she drops it. “Where’s your dad?”
“He’s been in bed for like an hour, Mom,” Emmy says in an irritated tone.
“Hmm.” Mom appears confused. “What time is it?” She squints toward the clock on the wall. “Wow. I didn’t realize it was so late.”
I hadn’t seen Mom at the game. Only Dad. Now I know why. She must have been lost in a fictional world.
“How was your game?” Mom asks.
“It went well,” I answer. “We won.”
“Good for you, honey.” She reaches forward and pats me on the head, but I can tell her mind is a million miles away. Most likely she’s writing a scene in her head. It’s the kind of thing that bothers Emmy, but I don’t care. It’s who Mom is. I get it because I’m the same way about baseball. It flows through my blood, pumps in my veins. If I’m not playing it, I’m thinking about playing it. So I can’t fault Mom for being as passionate about her writing. “I’m heading to bed. See ya in the morning.” In a daze she wanders out of the room.
Emmy blows out a breath. “Man, she is unbelievable. I’m surprised she even noticed we were here.”
Without saying a word, I smile. No sense trying to defend Mom. When Emmy gets like this, it’s best to let her vent.
“Sometimes I wonder why she even had kids. If we weren’t here, she wouldn’t have to venture out of her fictional world at all. Wouldn’t that be a dream come true for her.”
While Emmy is preoccupied, I bend forward, shove her leg out of the way and snake the remote. Hey, I never said I was a saint.
“Cal!” She leaps for me, but I stand, aim the remote at the TV and quickly switch it to ESPN. Then I shove the remote down my pants for added insurance. “Eww. Gross.” Emmy folds in on herself, her nose wrinkled in disgust.
“Good luck getting it back.” I wink, swinging my hips forward and backward, as if daring her to try.
“You are so disgusting.” Emmy scoots even further away from me.
I chuckle.
“Does Taylor have any idea what she’s getting herself into?”
“Oh, I think she does.” I grin. “And I think she likes it.”
Taylor
“What are you wearing?” Aunt Molly asks when I come downstairs before school. She’s standing in the kitchen, her back resting against the tile counter, holding a mug of steaming coffee between both hands. Her nails are nicely manicured and painted, and it makes me self-conscious of my chipped polish. I curl my fingers down into a fist. Even though it’s early, Aunt Molly is already dressed, hair fixed and makeup on. I’ve yet to see her in sweats or wearing her hair in a raggedy bun. She always looks immaculate. Her attire is usually cardigans or sweaters and slacks. She seems okay with it, but for some reason it makes me feel sad for her.
“Um…” I glance down at Cal’s jacket. When I put it on I had expected to get this question. I’d even contemplated waiting to wear it until I got to school, but at the last minute I decided to put it on. I’m not an idiot. I know why Cal wants me to wear this. It’s not because he’s worried about me being cold, although I do know that’s why he gave it to me in the first place. I may not have dated a jock before, but I’ve known jocks. So, therefore, I’m aware of the significance of wearing a guy’s jacket. He wants people to know about us. But more than that, I get the sense that he needs to know I want this. I’ve pushed him away a lot, and I think he wants to know if I’m in.
Honestly, I shouldn’t be in. I know this is a mistake, but I’m tired of trying to fight my feelings. I like Cal. He makes me feel good about myself. He makes me feel safe and protected. And I love that he wants validation from me. Dusty never cared what I thought. He made it clear from day one that I was lucky to be with him, not the other way around. And he never let me wear his stuff. Sure, he staked his claim, made sure no one came near me. But not in a “proud to be with me” kind of way. More in a “she’s mine and you better back off” kind of way. I’m not even sure I knew there was a difference before meeting Cal. But now I know there is.
I want to give Cal his validation. I want him to know that I’m proud of him too. That I feel blessed that he wants to be with me.
“It’s Cal Fisher’s baseball jacket. He loaned it to me the other night when I was cold,” I tell her.
She gives me a funny look. “You’re giving it back to him today, right?”
I shake my head. “He’s sorta letting me wear it for awhile.”
“Your uncle’s not gonna like this.” She sets down the coffee cup and starts wiping down the counters. In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve learned that she does this when she’s nervous.
“Cal’s a nice guy. Uncle Alex said so himself.”
“I know he is, and he comes from a nice family.”
I step forward, my eyes pleading. “So, maybe you could remind Uncle Alex of that?”
She freezes, her eyes catching mine and I see the struggle inside. I can tell a part of her is happy for me about Cal, but the other part is concerned. “Taylor, it’s not that we don’t think Cal would be a nice boy for you to date. But in this circumstance, it’s just not smart.” She brings a hand up to her chin. “I mean, have you told him? Does he know about…” her voice trails off.
“No,” I answer. “He doesn’t.”
Her face softens. She moves closer to me, reaching out and patting my hand. “I know what it feels like when a boy like Cal is interested in you. You know, your uncle was quite the ball player back in the day. I remember the first time he asked me to wear his jacket like it was yesterday.” A wistful expression blankets her face
, and it tugs at my heart. Is that the way I look when I think about Cal? She snaps out of it, drawing her hand back. “That’s why I know exactly what this means.” She points to the jacket. “And your uncle will too.”
“I know. And I know why he’ll be upset. But it’s just that I’ve never had a guy treat me like Cal does. Dusty wasn’t like this at all. And I’m starting to really like Cal.”
“Trust me, I get it,” she says, and I can tell that she does. I think back to how she tried to advocate for me the other night. I’m beginning to realize that there’s a lot more to Molly than meets the eye. “But if you want things to work out between you two, you’re going to have to tell him the whole truth.”
My gaze lowers to my feet, fear creeping up into my chest. “I’m afraid he won’t want anything to do with me when he finds out.”
“You won’t know until you tell him.” As ominous as her words sound, I’m glad she didn’t lie to me or give me a bunch of platitudes. I’m glad she was honest. “But, Taylor, even if you keep the secret, he’s going to find out eventually. Wouldn’t you rather it be now?”
No. Not at all. “Yeah, I guess.”
When I woke up this morning, I was so excited about wearing Cal’s jacket to school. I was hopeful about my future. But this one conversation brought me back to reality. Now I’m wondering if I was stupid to ever believe that I could find happiness. That I could ever have a normal relationship.