“I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, my good man!” he smiled, and I felt my anger returning. My good man indeed! I was neither his man nor was he mine. He was merely a nuisance that would be removed, hopefully forcibly, shortly. I glanced at the clock outside. I was obviously far too eager for this to occur as it was still nine fifteen, and evidentially I was guilty of looking at the clock far too often.
“Do you really wish me to explain?” I sniffed haughtily, and he smiled again, raising his open palms to me.
“Of course.” he said, and grinned in an irritating manner yet again. I must admit to resisting the urge to roll my newspaper up and beat him about the head with it at that point, but I calmed myself for I am not a man who relishes physical combat. Besides, the tea would be here shortly and so I decided to press on and hopefully enlighten the fool.
“Take double definition for example.” I said. “The “secret”, as you seem to call it is in examining the clue and breaking it into its constituent parts, observing some of the rules I have just given you.”
“Give me an example.” he said, sitting back in the chair as if by doing so that he was forcing himself to concentrate. “I often find I can concentrate on an issue more if I have a practical demonstration.” Sniffing in irritation I examined one of the clues I had already completed - quite easily too I must say, and with relish I decided to give him the “practical demonstration” he seemed to so eagerly await.
“Exploits that require to be witnessed.” I said brightly, trying not to sound too smug and failing completely.
I regarded the look of confusion on his face with satisfaction.
“No idea at all.” he said as his brow furrowed. He was not a young man, nor old either. His entire frame suggested that he was at least not of a lower standing than I; maybe in the legal profession or the like. His entire presence spoke to me of the fact that he had been no stranger to a good dinner, and his clothing was well cut if not a little in the modern style. Nevertheless, he was a gentleman in appearance if not by behaviour.
“When I was but a beginner at solving The Word Cross.” I explained, careful to use the correct term for it, “I found it easier to gaze upon such a puzzle my father had completed and work backwards so that I could see how the solution was reached.”
“And so?” he said, looking even more confused.
“Well the answer to that clue is “Deeds”.” I said and to my anger he snorted loudly.
“How on Earth do you get the word, “deeds” from “Exploits that require to be witnessed”?” he laughed as I leaned forward.
“Quite simple.” It was my turn to smile now. “Place a space between the definitions and it becomes apparent. I watched him mull this over for a moment before much to my disappointment realisation played across his face.
“Exploits.” he said.
“That require to be witnessed.” he mused, “Both definitions match the same word.”
“Quite so.” I said with a sniff, and then reluctantly, “Well done.” I glanced out of the window across the square to the clock on the church steeple outside. Still nine fifteen. Had the ruddy thing stopped?
“Homonyms then.” he said, now obviously keen to learn. “I was never one for the fine art of grammar. Please explain.”
“A homonym or homophones are two words that sound the same yet have different meanings.” I said, feeling quite the Sunday school teacher now. “When used in a clue it is often preceded by a signal that such a thing is to be used. A nod if you like to the solution.”
“Such as?” he said, obviously confused again.
“Well the “warning phrases” currently the most popular with word cross compilers seem to be phrases such as, “it is said” or “we hear”, “reportedly” and the like.”
“Quite a lot to it this crossword solving.” he said, again smiling.
“Indeed.” I said. The clock on the church had definitely stopped. Still nine fifteen. Where was my damned tea?
“An example?” he requested, pointing to the newspaper and cocking an eyebrow. I examined the grid I had nearly completely filled in by now despite the interruptions.
“Speak of that such as iron spirit.” I said and I could see him turning it over in his mind.
“No.” he concluded, far too rapidly for my liking. It takes perseverance to attempt The Word Cross and he had given up far too quickly! No perseverance at all! “Explain.”
I sighed and placed the newspaper on the table. Surely the tea would be here soon?
““Speak of” is the indicator that word play is afoot” I said and was surprised to discover I had made a jest! I pressed on. “Which leaves us with “that such as iron” and also “spirit””
“Mettle!” he almost shouted and I smiled now at his deduction. “The answer is “mettle.”
“Correct.” I said and could not help but smile myself. “Metal and Mettle. Homonyms.” I concluded.
“It is quite addictive once you know what you are about I fear.” he said, brushing his hand through his hair. I noticed at this point a curious thing, no doubt a trick of the light for although it was now nearly nine thirty it became to be apparent to me that the light in the room in which we sat was thin and weak, for I swear I could see the wall behind him through his hand as if his very hand itself was transparent! I moved back in my armchair but when I looked away and glanced back he seemed as perfectly annoying as he had been since he had first arrived. As solid too.
“Do you have any clues yet to solve?” he said and I bristled at his impertinence now that my schooling of him in the use of grammar seemed to have come to an end.
“Only one.” I said petulantly. “I would suggest sir that this too would have been completed had it not been for so many interruptions this morning. That and a total lack of tea!” I finished, almost shouting now in case any nearby member of staff might just hear me and come to investigate what the disturbance was. The clock on the church steeple still read nine fifteen I noticed in despair.
“What is the clue?” he said, tapping his nose in a most infuriating manner. “Mayhap with my new found knowledge I could assist.”
“No matter.” I mumbled. “I have plenty of time to complete it.” He smiled at this. “All day if I require.”
“I think not.” he said and to my surprise there seemed to be an edge of regret in his voice. “You have already begun to fade.”
“I beg your pardon?” I stammered, standing to my feet as the newspaper fluttered down around me, the crossword seeming to glare at me from the table with its one unfinished clue. “This really is quite enough! I am going to speak to the staff to have you ejected!”
“Your hand.” he said simply as I noticed now he was thinning out, becoming almost transparent. Feeling dizzy once again I noted that I could see the wall through him now for sure! I raised my hand and to my horror realised that I could see through that as well. I was fading too! My head spinning, I slumped back into the chair as he watched me carefully.
“At precisely nine fifteen one of the staff outside dropped a serving tray in the hall. It was quite a commotion, I am afraid.”
“Indeed.” I said. “I nearly jumped clear out of my damned skin.”
“You did more than that I am afraid, Mister Glackens. The fright quite stopped your heart I am sorry to tell you.”
“Preposterous!” I exclaimed, yet now I could see my hands were thinning, like smoke on a chill air.
“Am I dead?” I asked in despair.
“I am afraid so.” he said.
“What now?” I asked in confusion. What on Earth was happening?
“Oh there is no rush.” he sighed. “Shall we complete the last clue in your crossword?”
I tried to pluck the newspaper from the table but my hand passed right through it like mist. I leaned over it and read the last remaining clue aloud, now more in a state of confusion more than fear.
“Thirteen across.” I said. The man crossed his fading hands and nod
ded; waiting. “Extraneous pin did fatally turn.” I just cannot solve it. I just…” My voice trailed away as the room began to grow dim about me. “God damn it man, help me!” I shouted, but my voice trailed away, lost on a breeze that seemed to have risen from nowhere.
“Oh the solution to that crossword clue is quite easy.” he laughed, and I felt my temper rising.
“Well if it is so easy and you are so clever then you may furnish me with the answer then can’t you, my good fellow?” I shouted at him, sarcasm and also fear finding its way into my voice. “Tell me man, damn it! Tell me!”
He stood and approached me, resting his hand on my arm, yet I could not feel it. Both of us were now but shadows in the room, and from somewhere else as if in another place I noticed ghost like members of staff rushing about the study; a doctor in attendance. Yet they too were as of smoke and did not seem to exist on the same plain as I did now. Yet the man’s voice was clear in my head.
“It is quite simple.” he said, and I felt rather than saw his smile. “Fatally turn.” he said. “It is an indicator.” He paused slightly as if thinking it through. Yet I knew from his demeanour and the superior look upon his face that in my heart I understood perfectly that he already had the answer, damn him! “It reveals, I believe, that the answer is an anagram.”
Curse him! I realised then that he spoke the truth, for it all fitted perfectly! An anagram! Why hadn’t I thought of that?”
“An extraneous pin did.” he said, and there was that smile in his voice again.
“An anagram.” I stuttered as the wind rose louder in my ears. “Give me a moment.” I said fearfully. “I will work it out.”
“We have no time I am sorry.” said the man, and he sounded as if he meant it. “The anagram of “Extraneous pin did” is, “Sudden expiration”.” he finished, and then as the winds took me and all went black he added,
“Shall we go?”
Interlude One
~ In which the nature of arrogance
Is discussed ~
Glackens sat down and a polite ripple of applause ran along the table as we all sat waiting to see what would happen next now that the tale was done. Apollyon sat staring into space as indeed he had done during the entire relating of the tale. I had the impression that he was not listening as such; or perhaps more accurately that he did not want to appear to be listening. Yet not for the last time the man surprised me.
“So what did we think of Mister Glacken’s Tale?” asked the Earl as he placed his feet on the table once more and leaned back in his seat, casting his glance seemingly at random about the room. It was down to Mister Flanagan, our Irish compatriot, to be the first to respond.
“Ah the poor bugger.” He said, a deep frown playing across his broad swarthy features. “Killed by a tea tray.” There was a light chuckle about the room that Abraham Glackens did not seem to the humour in, a sour expression crossing his face.
“Indeed.” Said Apollyon, though the slight smile playing across his face failed completely to reach his eyes, “A tea tray. Whatever next?” A complete lack of humour showed on the Earl’s face however, despite the chuckles that had rippled around the table.
“Well told.” I added as the gentlemen gathered about the table turned to face me. The gentleman who Apollyon had referred to as the banker muttered a low, “Absolutely.” And that seemed to be it. Apollyon threw his feet down from the table and rested his elbows on the table, leaning towards us as if reaching out for further comment. Yet he was the first to continue.
“However I cannot help but admire your arrogance, Sir.” Smiled the Earl as he turned to face the, it must be said, rotund features of the man of property from the city who we only knew as Abraham Glackens.
“I admit no such thing.” Said Glackens almost angrily. The Earl was not to be placated however.
“It seems to me that your desire to have knowledge of the word cross exclusively shows that you possess more than a small trace of superiority in your dealings with your fellow man in my opinion. Such hostility too.”
“I thought we were to be judged on the quality of our tales and not the faults of the people you may find inside them.” I said to Apollyon and there was a sudden flash of anger across the Earl’s face which he managed to hide almost immediately. “Tell me, Earl.” I smiled, pressing on. The man’s arrogance and bearing was beginning to unnerve me, Earl or not. “Has anyone ever been refused entrance to your club?
“Of course not.” Said the Earl, licking his lips. “Not now that I have you.” He added rather glibly. “Yet tales are all part of the fun don’t you think?”
“Possibly so.” I frowned as I noticed several of the gentlemen gathered at that table frowning at me, almost willing me to be silent just in case I was endangering their chances of elevation to becoming members of the Earl’s club.
“Indeed.” Smiled Apollyon as the fire flickered behind him, my question obviously now completely forgotten. “You have misunderstood my misgivings about our friend Glacken’s character however gentlemen. I admire arrogance to a certain degree. It ensures a gentleman of is of a certain quality and gives a good standing in front of one’s peers.” He paused to take a sip of brandy. “After all, if we cannot feel superior to everyone else the how on Earth would we ever achieve anything in life?”
“Correct.” Said the man to my right; the banker, before concluding, “How refreshing.”
Still, I had no issue with the tale; after all it was merely a story about a man who enjoyed the use of words in his word cross or whatever it was called. I would dare say it impudent to assume that Glacken’s apparent like for isolation is by no means a flaw of character; after all, am I not a solitary man of sorts? I isolate myself from those I consider to be my inferiors for I am at best reluctant to mingle with people such as these, for what can they afford to offer me? No. I was amongst equals with these gentlemen who were on this day being elevated to their rightful places in the higher echelons of society, and for that I felt no remorse. Is not each man the creator of his own destiny? Of course privilege and high standing assist in this task but these things I take for granted. Those who do not possess them are not of the same social standing as myself and that is their destiny, not mine.
Yet just like Abraham Glackens I desire isolation of a sort. I isolate my wife and children, for example, but this is more of a necessity than anything. If I am to advance myself – as surely as I was doing so now, then my wife and brood must be lower on my list of priorities. That I can prioritise people so is a requirement not just of time but also of attention. If I were to spend all of my days nannying children and writing poor romantic verse, then what time would I have to ensure my career and social standing would increase? None. That is the answer plain and simple, and so I could find no fault with Mister Glacken’s tale; none whatsoever.
It did cross my mind of course that Glackens seemed to be a solitary man who relished his privacy which seemed to be at cross purposes to him wanting to be a member of The Earl of Ranleigh’s club but I kept my peace for he was present here and no doubt had his reasons. I examined what I could see of his portly frame and thought that perhaps it was the quality of the food that was served in the Earl’s club that was of importance to him, for as we had all just witnessed the fayre was exceptional.
The young man two seats to my left seemed a little nervous and I glanced down at the ticket which lay on the table in front of him. It bore the number two; he was next.
“I quite enjoyed it.” He said plainly, and the gentleman to his left nodded in agreement.
“As did I.” said Apollyon. “Quite an insight I should say.” He smiled and leaned back into his chair. As he did so the twin doors at the end of the room opened simultaneously as if by sleight of hand. If Apollyon was given to theatrics, then he could not have achieved a more fanciful result. We all almost as one leaned across the table or turned our chairs to look to see to where the doors led. Yet inside the room beyond the one in which we sat all was dark, tho
ugh there was a tinge of red light from just inside the door, obviously from a lamp just inside the alcove.
“You are now a member of my club!” exclaimed the Earl as he stood and moved around the table to slap Abraham Glackens heartily on the back. The man rose as we all applauded and the Earl led him to the doors. Glackens turned to look over his shoulder at us and then disappeared into the darkness of the room. There was a small swish and the doors slammed shut apparently of their own volition as Apollyon took his seat in front of the fire once more.
“Excellent.” He said, rubbing his hands. “One down, nine to go! Who is next?” The young man to my left shuffled nervously in his seat as several others about the table looked to see who would take their turn next.
I noticed however that Gabriel Moon simply sat to Apollyon’s left completely unmoving, his hands clasped on the table in front of him. A deep rage was festering in me at his presence for I could not understand it at all. The fact that everyone around Moon, including the Earl himself seemed to be ignoring him altogether struck me as more than a little strange. Yet it was without a doubt Moon, and I had absolutely no idea why he was sitting there at all, for the last time I had seen him was on the night I returned in the snow from the city and the very fact that he had eaten from the same table as I filled me with ire to the extent that I considered raising a protest. Yet I did not, for events were already moving on.
“It is my turn next.” Said the young man confidently, even though I could see from my proximity to him that this was just a thin veneer of courage he was portraying that he obviously did not feel himself.
“Ah. Our young student.” Said Apollyon. “How is Eton these days? A regular little elite you have there I hear.”
“Very well your Lordship.” He smiled, ignoring the obvious jibe. “Very well indeed.”
The Waiting Room Page 4