by Owens, C. M.
“You can’t fucking leave. She is going to need you, damn it,” Hale blares, and I look around to see Grayson with a large bag thrown over his shoulder.
“This isn’t my style. I don’t stay in one place for too long, and I don’t like feeling as if I’m owned by the United. Besides, you’re wrong. She doesn’t need me at all. She won’t look at me, touch me, or even acknowledge I’m here. It’s not exactly the most endearing feeling. I’ve felt rejection enough in my life to know what it is,” Grayson barks while walking away.
“You can’t leave the United. You’re gifted.”
“I can join the unaligned fleet. I hear they’re accepting gifted hybrids nowadays,” he mumbles while continuing to walk away.
Hale grabs Grayson’s bag, and jerks it free from his shoulder before slamming him into the wall. He presses his arm against the young one’s throat, and Grayson struggles against Hale’s force.
“She has just fucking changed. She’s scared, and she’s going to need you just like you’re going to need her. Don’t be a selfish ass right now. You’re not the only fucking hybrid to ever suffer rejection or feel insecure. We’ve all fucking faced it.”
“She hasn’t, Hale. She hasn’t,” Grayson almost whimpers, and Hale’s eyes soften as he loosens his grip to drop him to the ground before Grayson continues. “She had a father, a home, a bedroom with a window view… everything. She doesn’t need me to taint her perfect world. She doesn’t want it to be me, and I fucking feel it. I’ll be here when she needs me, but I can’t stick around feeling like I do when she won’t even look at me. Do you understand that?” Grayson almost cries.
My heart aches for the pain he feels right now, and I have no idea why Angelica is acting this way. I don’t even know how she’s shutting him out. I was never able to do it to Hale until he broke me. I still struggle with it.
“Do you love her?” Hale strains out while empathizing with his pain.
“That’s just it… I love her too much. It’s a completely new emotion, and I never thought it possible for our kind to feel an emotion we never received until I saw her. But she doesn’t love me. She doesn’t want me to be here,” Grayson says, his voice going in and out, and I see the tears in his eyes finally fall free.
“She does love you. She does want you here. The two of you were meant to be together, and you can’t deny that draw no matter how hard you try,” Hale sighs out.
“What?” Grayson scoffs sardonically. “You mean like you and Araya? It seems like the two of you do well without each other.”
Hale’s eyes blaze over, and he throws Grayson back against the wall before blaring, “You don’t know a fucking thing about Araya and me. Don’t act like you do just because you’ve known us for a minute. There’s absolutely nothing I wouldn’t fucking do for her. Do you understand that?”
My heart slaps my stomach, and Clay becomes my crutch as he steadies me above my trembling knees.
“You’re willing to let her be with someone else because you want her happy?” Grayson asks with a condescending air. “That’s what I want for Angelica too. She shouldn’t be with me just because we’re bound, and it’s obvious she doesn’t have any other feelings for me.”
Hale drops him again, and then he shakes his head as if he’s disgusted.
“It’ll kill you to see her with someone else. It’ll be all you can do to stay upright everyday. You’ll be doing good to get an ounce of sleep, and you’ll hurt more than you ever thought possible. The moment she tells someone else she loves them, you’ll pray for death. You can’t do what I’m doing because you don’t have to,” Hale strains out, and I can feel the pain oozing from his voice as he slumps down against the wall across from Grayson.
What the fuck? Why is he telling Grayson all this when he’s the one who keeps pushing me away? He’s acting as though this was my decision when he blatantly told me he didn’t love me. He fucking cheated on me, so why do I feel guilty?
Because it’s Hale.
“You think I don’t love you?” Angelica’s broken voice says with a shattered tone as she suddenly appears from out of nowhere.
All eyes move to the other end of the hall where she stands in a white dress and dripping tears.
“Angelica,” Grayson gasps.
“You think I don’t love you because I’m not a forgotten?” she painfully releases.
Grayson looks away to hide his own tears, and she rushes over to fall to his side.
“I’m sorry,” she chokes out through more tears. “I’m so sorry.”
She throws herself on him, and her lips cover his. He hesitates momentarily before pulling her into his arms, and I see the need and desire as he grips her to his body. I wipe my own tears away as I stare at the reconciliation, and then my eyes drift over to Hale as he slowly stands back up. He stares at Angelica and Grayson as if he’s envious, and then his eyes meet mine for the first time in the hallway. His mouth opens slightly before closing again. He straightens his tie, and then he focuses his attention on Clay as he walks toward us.
“Ready for interrogations?” he asks.
“We were on our way there when we stumbled upon the hallway fallout,” Clay murmurs softly.
“Sorry. I couldn’t let him leave though. Let’s just get started. I’ll take the ones Araya can’t handle right now, and you can check my blood later.”
“I’ve actually got several men on the Hershian interrogations, so Araya can focus on the main threats. I need you to help me be her observer because Nicholas is working with the others. I think it could be because he trusts Araya where as he doesn’t know the rest. I’ll be in and out of the viewing box due to calls, so you’ll be her main observer. I’ll check both of your blood later.”
“Fine,” Hale says very formally, and then he starts walking very briskly down the hall after avoiding any further eye contact with me.
“You okay?” Clay asks softly.
“No,” I whimper, and he takes my hand in his.
“I envy you, Araya. I’ve never found my counter half. My savage rarely ever appears, and it hasn’t ever lured them out. Apparently their’s doesn’t call for me. Either that or they’re already dead. Very few get to experience the connection you and Hale have, and then you have Brazen. I’ve only ever loved one person completely, and as you know, I lost them. I haven’t loved someone since, and I’ve never been in your situation of loving two. I can’t advise you who to choose, but I do know Hale is not incapable of love because he loves the fuck out of you. I’m sick of the bullshit. He-”
“Commander Jude, Sir,” a man says while saluting.
Clay sighs and shifts uncomfortably while turning to face the man, and he salutes dismissively while murmuring, “Yes?”
“Langlin Region, Commander Berricks, is on line four for you when you have a moment.”
“Fine. I’ll take it in Araya’s office,” he mumbles while walking through my small office door.
I’m a little embarrassed at the mounds of paperwork sitting on my desktop, and Clay takes a seat behind my desk as I shut the door to give him privacy. My stomach churns as I turn the door to the viewing box to see Hale sitting down reading the file on the man behind the glass.
“What am I trying to get him to confess to?” I ask with a hoarse tone, clearing my throat immediately after.
“Trafficking blood that hasn’t been processed by our labs. It’s potent, but it’s really a misdemeanor. I should probably pass this one on to another officer. Your skills would be wasted on this one,” he murmurs while keeping his eyes glued to the paper.
I take a deep breath, and then I very slowly make my way over to sit on the tabletop as my leg dangles beside him. He does his best to pretend not to notice, and I lean back to interrogate him rather than the suspect.
“So we’re not going to talk about all that?”
“Talk about what, Araya? The fact Grayson tried to leave Angelica, or what I said to make him stay? Neither are important right now, and I just want
to get this damn day over with. I haven’t even had any coffee yet,” he grouses, and I stand up to walk over to the corner where the coffee has just finished brewing.
I smile as I pour him a cup, and then I add just a sprinkle of sugar before returning.
“There’s your coffee,” I sardonically retort.
He half smirks, and then shakes his head while looking back at the file.
“Does it hurt you to see me with Brazen? I only assumed it didn’t since you’re the one who pushed me to get back with him. Then you told me you cheated on me. Why do I feel like I’m being held in the dark? You don’t act like a guy that cheated. You don’t act like a guy who doesn’t love me… so tell me what is really going on,” I prompt.
“Araya, I fucked up again. That’s all you need to know. Alex is real. You’ve seen her. I’m not making this up. I said what I had to in order to stall Grayson,” he growls out angrily, pushing my emotional rollercoaster up and over the steepest hill - gravity sinking into my chest as I plummet to my death.
Hot and fucking cold.
“Fine, Captain. I’m sorry. I forgot my place for a moment,” I icily rattle out, and he winces slightly under my stinging formality.
Clay pops back in with the weight of the world weighing him down just as Grayson pokes his head in with wide, fretful eyes.
“Is everything okay?” I ask worriedly given the earlier scuffle.
“I need to speak with Hale for a minute,” he murmurs while staring directly at my confusing hybrid.
He avoids eye contact with me, which is unusual for Grayson. And since when does he trust Hale? Since when does he go to him over me? I almost pout over the insulting action.
“Yeah,” Hale sighs.
He slides out from under the table, and his shoulders droop as he walks by me. Clay shrugs at me, and I begin examining the file as I take Hale’s warm seat. This spot smells like him, and it’s almost enough to draw tears from my eyes.
Hale’s eyes are wide when he pops back in, and he stares only at Clay as he says, “I have something to take care of. Can you find someone else to be Araya’s observer when you’re preoccupied?”
“Sure,” Clay murmurs with an exaggerated annunciation. “Should I be made aware of something?”
“Possibly later, but not right now. I’ll see you after while.”
Hale ducks out before anyone can ask questions, and I roll my eyes while turning back to Clay.
“Still think he loves me? I sure as hell don’t,” I huff, and then I walk out to face the guy I plan on making cry before I leave the steel box.
I’m sick of the twisted forms of mind-fuck, and I’m done trying to make sense of him.
The phone keeps going voicemail as I call Brazen for the fifteenth time. He always answers my calls, and I don’t know whether to be worried or aggravated.
“This is Captain Mordel. Leave a message, and I’ll call you back when I’m available.”
You haven’t been available for thirty damn minutes, and you’re the one that invited me to lunch.
I round the corner, and I start to pass the training box when suddenly Hale and Brazen emerge from the room together with matching ashen faces and trembling eyes. I half expect a ghost to pop out with them given their ghastly gaping mouths hanging unhinged.
“What’s wrong?” I chirp, and they both jump at the sound of my voice.
“Araya,” Brazen startles out as if I’m not even supposed to exist.
“Yeah, it’s me. Your girlfriend, and your very stood up lunch date,” I sarcastically retort. “What’s going on?”
He looks at his watch, and then he sighs out.
“Sorry. I lost track of time. Let’s go grab something if you still have time,” he replies with an insipid lack of enthusiasm.
“Actually, I don’t have time anymore. I finished up early so I could see you, but now I’ve got to head back. The lab work Clay did on me came back clean, which means I’m still not infected. In case you were worried. I’ll talk to you later,” I huff, and I start walking away from the pale eyes that shouldn’t be keeping secrets.
“Araya,” he grumbles while sprinting to my side. “I said I was sorry.”
“I’m not mad about you not answering my calls. I’m mad because you’re not telling me something,” I mumble, and he stops me to whip me around.
Now I see Grayson walking out while holding Angelica to his body, and Hale rubs her back affectionately as a few tears drip down her face. What the fuck is going on?
“What’s wrong with Angelica?” I ask with worry.
“She and Grayson had a tough morning. Let me take you to your apartment. I bought all kinds of random choices for lunch. I promise I’ll make it up to you for being late,” he seduces as his lips start grazing my bare shoulder.
I shiver slightly, and then I roll my eyes as he smirks very cockily before bending to pull my lips to his. I look up to see Hale has looked away, and then he motions for Angelica and Grayson to follow him. Her eyes catch mine, and an unexplainable guilt is etched in her freshly changed hybrid blue swirls.
“Where are they going? Please tell me what’s going on,” I say while lightly pushing him back.
He runs a hand through his hair - a classic Brazen stalling technique.
“Angelica hasn’t been dealing with her change very well, and today she had a breakthrough. Hale is just taking them back to speak with Nicholas. She and her father haven’t been speaking at all.”
“Did she say why?” I lead.
“There were more tears than talk, but I think she’ll be okay soon. She and Grayson are going to move in with Hale for a while, and they’re talking about returning to the Seminole with him when he leaves.”
I push him off me harder as my eyes glaze over with fury.
“What? They can’t do that. I promised Nicholas I would keep her here. He hasn’t done a damn thing wrong. I know hybrids seek the solace of other hybrids directly after their change, but her father shouldn’t be punished just because he’s a full blood. That spoiled little brat has no idea what the rest of us would have done to have a parent,” I growl, and then I barge past him to start following the retreating trio.
“Araya,” Brazen grumbles while pulling me back toward him. “I think she’s right about this. Just let her be the decider in this matter. Just because one has a parent doesn’t mean their life is perfect. This is her problem to solve for now,” he mumbles, and the contents seem so suspicious.
“What-the-fuck-ever,” I grumble, and then I start walking away again.
I head to the outside, and I see Nicholas sitting on the bench beside the wall. His despair is evident, and it’s rather obvious the heartless trio aren’t going to find him in his apartment. I guess Brazen has been spending too much time around Hale since he’s starting to act like him now. Jackasses. All of them are jerks.
I walk over to him, and I quickly obtain the seat next to him. Brazen walks out, and his jaw tenses when he sees me. It’s not like him to be jealous of anyone other than Hale, but Nicholas is just my friend. He’s the one being hurt, not the bratty girl who doesn’t know how fucking lucky she is. I can’t believe Hale is going along with this.
“I spoke to Commander Jude. He said your follow up blood tests still showed no signs of infection,” he breathes out in relief.
I smile as I pat his arm and murmur, “Worried?”
“I have been very worried. This is the first time we’ve ever had the possibility of an outbreak that infects hybrids and full bloods. Commander Jude is testing the virus against my kind’s blood. I’m just so thankful you’re okay,” he utters so sincerely, his soul sounding to be as broken as his heart.
Brazen walks over to a man who has called his attention, and occasionally his eyes shift toward me. I don’t know what his problem is. Nicholas has been incredible to me, and I have a home again because of him.
“I’m perfectly fine. Can we talk about Angelica and why she’s acting so bizarre?” I almost blurt ou
t, and his eyes drop to the ground immediately as if he’s ashamed.
“It’s my fault,” he almost whispers.
“What happened?” I ask with bemusement.
“Araya, there’s so much I need to tell you, and I don’t even know where to begin. My life as a captain started because of a sacrifice I made so, so, so long ago. I’ve done things I can never justify and there will never be enough penance for my sins. Angelica has recently learned some of my covered secrets that have haunted me for longer than I care to admit. You’ll hate me if I tell you right now,” he murmurs softly.
“I don’t hate people for making mistakes in the past. I hate people for not changing, which is something you’ve very obviously done,” I comfort.
“I wish it were that simple, Araya. I really do.”
His eyes beg to tell me something, but fear stalls his lips. I can’t imagine this incredible man has ever done anything so wrong to deserve the self-loathing I see in his soul. No matter what he has done, Angelica shouldn’t be punishing him for the sins of his distant past. He has been nothing but a doting father to her, an incredible captain for his people, and an example for all full bloods.
“Captain!” a man screams from the wall’s lookout station.
“Yes?” Nicholas chirps.
“There’s a problem in the Shantkin Valley. The scouts just called to say it looks like a blood run deal gone bad, and they need help to apprehend the suspects.”
“I’ll send my men,” Nicholas grumbles, and he pulls out his phone to start texting.
“I’ll go too. I could use a minute outside the walls,” I murmur while standing.
“I’ll go, you stay,” Brazen says as he interrupts out of nowhere.
“Excuse me? The last I checked you weren’t my captain,” I snark.
“I don’t want you going either,” Nicholas mumbles, and then Hale runs out to where we are.
“I’ll head to the valley to help your men,” he interjects while running up.
“Araya should take Angelica and Grayson with her since she will be going as well. It’s time they started earning their field points,” Clay asserts while walking up.