Secrets

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Secrets Page 39

by Brenda Joyce


  "Dar­ling," she cri­ed, ta­king his hand, "I'm so glad you co­uld co­me ho­me early af­ter all!"

  His glan­ce flic­ked to hers. Re­gi­na stif­fe­ned. The­re was no warmth in his eyes; in fact, Sla­de se­emed to be hol­ding back his an­ger with a con­si­de­rab­le ef­fort. "Co­me," she sa­id, fal­te­ring. At all cost, they must pre­sent a uni­ted front to her pa­rents. "I know you and Fat­her ha­ve met, but I think we sho­uld re­do the in­t­ro­duc­ti­ons. And you ha­ve ne­ver met my mot­her."

  Sla­de sa­id not­hing, al­lo­wing her to le­ad him for­ward. As Re­gi­na in­t­ro­du­ced Jane, she sto­le wor­ri­ed glan­ces at him. May­be she had ima­gi­ned his an­ger. His fa­ce was ex­p­res­si­on­less, his tho­ughts un­fat­ho­mab­le.

  "Fat­her," she sa­id an­xi­o­usly, "wo­uld you and Sla­de ple­ase at le­ast ex­c­han­ge gen­t­le­manly han­d­s­ha­kes?"

  Nic­ho­las's jaw ten­sed, but he ex­ten­ded his hand. "Hel­lo, De­lan­za."

  Sla­de to­ok it, equ­al­ly wary. "Shel­ton. Wel­co­me to our hum­b­le ho­me."

  "You're angry with me."

  In his shir­t­s­le­eves now that her pa­rents had left, Sla­de fol­ded his arms, and le­aned aga­inst the do­or to the sa­lon. "Now what ma­kes you think that?" he sa­id cold- She ten­sed. She had known he was angry all night. But he was mo­re than angry, for he had stu­di­ed her as one wo­uld an odd, just-dis­co­ve­red spe­ci­men un­der a mic­ros­co­pe. In­de­ed, he had stu­di­ed them all. And he had not spo­ken ex­cept when spo­ken to. Re­gi­na had do­ne her best to carry the con­ver­sa­ti­on, hel­ped by her mot­her. Nic­ho­las had al­so sa­id lit­tle, in­tent on as­ses­sing Sla­de. The eve­ning had be­en an un­mi­ti­ga­ted di­sas­ter, with Sla­de truly se­eming to be not­hing short of a bo­or.

  Altho­ugh she had known he was angry, she had not known he was this angry. His words drip­ped icic­les. If he we­re not her hus­band and they we­re not new­l­y­weds, she wo­uld think him to be mo­re than hos­ti­le, to be ha­te-fil­led.

  Re­gi­na had ta­ken off her sho­es, which she car­ri­ed in one hand. They had se­en her pa­rents out mo­ments ago. Now she pa­used, al­most af­ra­id to ap­pro­ach her hus­band, which she must do in or­der to pass him and exit the do­or. "I'm sorry," she sa­id softly, me­aning it.

  "J­ust what are you sorry for?"

  She flin­c­hed be­ne­ath his hos­ti­le re­gard. "I'm sorry I in­vi­ted my pa­rents for sup­per. I had no idea it wo­uld be such a mi­se­rab­le eve­ning."

  "Of co­ur­se you didn't. In the co­ur­se of yo­ur char­med li­fe, this is pro­bably the first 'mi­se­rab­le' eve­ning you ha­ve ever spent."

  She drop­ped her sho­es. "We­re you eaves­d­rop­ping?"

  "A man can't eaves­d­rop in his own ho­me," Sla­de sa­id. He stro­de to the bar, whe­re he po­ured him­self an over­si­zed bo­ur­bon. Re­gi­na had stop­ped co­un­ting the num­ber of drinks he'd had ho­urs ago. She had ne­ver se­en him im­bi­be so much and with such de­ter­mi­na­ti­on. Yet he did not ap­pe­ar drunk.

  "If you did not want me to he­ar so­met­hing I sho­uldn't, then you sho­uld ha­ve tho­ught abo­ut the con­se­qu­en­ces of spe­aking openly in my ho­use," he ad­ded ve­he­mently.

  She flin­c­hed. She tri­ed to de­ci­de if he was drunk. So­me men be­ca­me nasty when drin­king. She had ne­ver be­en af­ra­id of Sla­de be­fo­re, but her in­s­tincts we­re sur­ging forth now to warn her aga­inst him. For his an­ger was di­rectly aimed at her. "Sla­de, I am sorry, for ever­y­t­hing. Ple­ase." Ma­king an in­s­tin­c­ti­ve de­ci­si­on, she ap­pro­ac­hed him. "Let's go to bed." She to­uc­hed his arm.

  He bat­ted her hand away. "Don't to­uch me."

  She bac­ked up. "I think you've had eno­ugh to drink."

  He sta­red. "I'm not drunk, not by a long shot. Not yet. But be­li­eve me, I will be be­fo­re this frig­ging night is thro­ugh."

  "What ha­ve I do­ne?" she whis­pe­red.

  "You've do­ne it all." He tos­sed off the en­ti­re glass. "Get out of he­re. And don't bot­her wa­iting up. Sex is the last thing on my mind to­night."

  Re­gi­na cri­ed out. His cru­de words we­re a crus­hing blow, an in­ten­ti­onal­ly cru­el one. She co­uld not be­li­eve he wo­uld say such a thing-and re­fer to all the glo­ri­o­us in­ti­macy they had sha­red so dis­pa­ra­gingly and so cal­lo­usly. "Why are you do­ing this? Why do you want to hurt me?"

  He eyed her si­lently.

  "If you're trying to ma­ke me ha­te you, it won't work." Her con­t­rol was go­ne. She cri­ed, but si­lently, te­ars stre­aking her che­eks. "You see, you can be a bas­tard but it won't chan­ge an­y­t­hing. I'm yo­ur wi­fe, for bet­ter or for wor­se."

  If he was awa­re of her shoc­king lan­gu­age, a first for her, he ga­ve no sign. "I won­der," he sa­id harshly. "Wi­fe-or martyr?"

  She sho­ok her he­ad in con­fu­si­on and de­ni­al.

  "I don't want a martyr for a wi­fe."

  "I'm not! I'm not!"

  He tur­ned his back on her. "Get the hell out of he­re, Re­gi­na, be­fo­re I say any mo­re. Get out now."

  But she didn't mo­ve. She was bre­at­h­less, her he­art flut­te­ring in fe­ar, but she was no lon­ger af­ra­id for her­self. She was af­ra­id for the­ir mar­ri­age. They had re­ac­hed a cri­sis po­int, and even if she did not un­der­s­tand how they had ar­ri­ved he­re, or even why, she knew they had to talk abo­ut it im­me­di­ately. She was not even awa­re that she was crying. "Ple­ase tell me what I ha­ve do­ne," she im­p­lo­red. "Ple­ase, Sla­de."

  He whir­led. "Damn you! Dam­mit! If you won't le­ave, I will!"

  She gas­ped as he rus­hed past her and in­to the cor­ri­dor.

  "No," she cri­ed, ra­cing af­ter him. He flung open the front do­or. "Sla­de, wa­it! We must talk! We must!" She knew with cer­ta­inty, with all of her he­art, that she must not let him walk out that do­or-and out of her li­fe.

  But he ig­no­red her. And the fog in­s­tantly swal­lo­wed him up.

  Chapter 26

  She dres­sed with the ut­most ca­re.

  Lif­ting her brig­ht-pink skirts, she slid the she­erest silk ho­se, tran­s­lu­cent and whi­te, slowly up her long legs. Gar­ters trim­med in whi­te la­ce and dark ro­se­buds fol­lo­wed. Fi­nal­ly al­lo­wing her palms to fall free of her thighs, she sig­hed, drop­ping her skirts. Her skin was de­li­ri­o­usly ali­ve.

  Eli­za­beth Sin­c­la­ir tur­ned to fa­ce her ref­lec­ti­on in the mir­ror.

  She smi­led. Se­duc­ti­on al­ways stir­red her blo­od. It was only a pos­si­bi­lity to­day, but even the me­re pos­si­bi­lity sti­mu­la­ted her.

  She was stri­kingly be­a­uti­ful and she knew it. She smi­led at her­self, ple­ased. Sla­de De­lan­za co­uld not be in­dif­fe­rent. No man was ever in­dif­fe­rent.

  Adus­ting her ro­se-red felt hat and ta­king up her mat­c­hing glo­ves, she left her ho­tel ro­om. Dow­n­s­ta­irs the do­or­man ha­iled her a han­som. Eli­za­beth or­de­red the dri­ver to the Fel­d­c­rest Bu­il­ding on the cor­ner of Van Ness and Eddy.

  Set­tling back aga­inst the worn le­at­her se­ats, she let her hands sli­de over her belly. It was too bad it had co­me to this. If she we­ren't preg­nant she wo­uld not

  ha­ve to marry. She sig­hed, unab­le to reg­ret the past ye­ar-or the past ye­ars.

  She had be­en sent away to scho­ol in Lon­don by her fat­her when she had be­en thir­te­en. Re­mem­be­ring, Eli­za­beth smi­led. She had be­en ca­ught in the stab­le with the strap­ping yo­ung Irish gro­om-and they hadn't be­en do­ing an­y­t­hing that had to do with hor­ses, but ever­y­t­hing that had to do with ri­ding.

  Ke­vin hadn't be­en her first lo­ver and he hadn't be­en her last. But he was one of her fon­dest me­mo­ri­es be­ca­use he had be­e
n di­rectly res­pon­sib­le for her be­ing sent away. She had ha­ted the small-town li­fe of San Lu­is Obis­po for as long as she co­uld re­mem­ber. She was thril­led to be sent to Lon­don.

  The eli­te pri­va­te aca­demy for yo­ung la­di­es was no match for Eli­za­beth. She qu­ickly le­ar­ned how to slip away at night. She had al­ways lo­oked-and ac­ted- ol­der than her ye­ars, and she qu­ickly be­ca­me a part of Lon­don's thri­ving nig­h­t­li­fe.

  She con­ti­nu­ed to pre­sent her­self as a pro­per, de­vo­ut yo­ung wo­man by day. When she ca­me ho­me she let no clue slip that she had not be­en re­for­med by the aca­demy. She ag­re­ed to the bet­rot­hal, ha­ving lit­tle cho­ice. When she met James De­lan­za she de­ci­ded he was ni­ce eno­ugh, if a bit bo­ring. Still, he was very at­trac­ti­ve, and she ima­gi­ned the first few ye­ars of the­ir mar­ri­age wo­uld be qu­ite enj­oyab­le.

  Her fat­her had di­ed last sum­mer. Eli­za­beth was sorry, she had lo­ved Ge­or­ge, but his ti­ming co­uld not ha­ve be­en bet­ter. For upon his de­ath his en­ti­re for­tu­ne pas­sed to her and she no lon­ger had to wa­it un­til she was wed to re­ce­ive her in­he­ri­tan­ce.

  Ne­ver a fo­ol, Eli­za­beth con­ti­nu­ed her cha­ra­de. She spent that sum­mer in San Lu­is Obis­po mo­ur­ning her fat­her, whi­le James ca­me to see her every we­ekend, at­tem­p­ting to com­fort her. Un­for­tu­na­tely his idea of con­so­la­ti­on and hers we­re qu­ite dif­fe­rent. As so­on as she was sche­du­led to re­turn to Lon­don for her last ye­ar at the aca­demy, she did. Eagerly. But she did not set fo­ot back in the scho­ol. In­s­te­ad she set her­self up in a la­vish town ho­use, li­ving a li­fe that was an imi­ta­ti­on of that of the Bri­tish no­bi­lity she con­sor­ted with.

  She wo­uld ha­ve sta­yed in Lon­don in­de­fi­ni­tely, des­pi­te her lo­oming mar­ri­age, when an af­fa­ir en­ded abo­mi­nably. This ti­me, for the first ti­me, Eli­za­beth was the one jil­ted, coldly and cal­lo­usly. Her lo­ver had be­en an earl, both po­wer­ful and han­d­so­me, and Eli­za­beth was as in lo­ve with him as a wo­man li­ke her co­uld be. She was shoc­ked and fu­ri­o­us. She even tri­ed to re­ason him out of it, to no ava­il. Not only was he thro­ugh with her, he had the auda­city to tell her that he was get­ting mar­ri­ed-and that he was in lo­ve with his bri­de.

  Eli­za­beth re­tur­ned to Ame­ri­ca in a huff. She sent James a let­ter en­ding the­ir en­ga­ge­ment as so­on as she ar­ri­ved in San Lu­is Obis­po ne­ar the end of May. Her step­mot­her had re­mar­ri­ed, and Eli­za­beth, shed­ding all pre­ten­ses of ami­abi­lity, ren­ted a small man­si­on which wo­uld ma­ke Su­san gre­en with je­alo­usy and hi­red a lar­ge staff, le­aving ab­ruptly and in open tri­umph. She so­on to­ok anot­her lo­ver, but fo­und it hard to sha­ke the earl's ima­ge from her mind.

  Once she had re­ali­zed that she was three months preg­nant, she knew she co­uld not con­ti­nue as she was and that she must act swiftly. It was one thing to pre­tend to be a pro­per wo­man whi­le do­ing as she ple­ased, it was qu­ite anot­her to be un­wed and ob­vi­o­usly preg­nant. Her lo­ver was mar­ri­ed or she might ha­ve de­man­ded that he wed her. Be­ca­use ti­me was of the ut­most con­si­de­ra­ti­on, Eli­za­beth de­ci­ded to go for­ward with a uni­on with the De­lan­zas.

  It was for the best that James De­lan­za was de­ad. He had not ta­ken it well when she had bro­ken the­ir en­ga­ge­ment. Be­ing an ex­pert when it ca­me to men, she was well awa­re that he had be­en ter­ribly in lo­ve with her, but she had crus­hed him as one wo­uld a fly, the way the earl had crus­hed her. In the pro­cess she had re­ve­aled too much. Had he sur­vi­ved the flo­od, it wo­uld ha­ve be­en im­pos­sib­le to re­con­ci­le with him.

  Rick had two ot­her sons. Eli­za­beth wo­uld not con­si­der the yo­un­ger one. Al­t­ho­ugh she was an he­iress, she was too va­in to even con­si­der mar­rying Ed­ward, who had not­hing, not even the ho­pe of one day ow­ning Mi­ra­mar. She was cer­ta­in Rick wo­uld still fa­vor an al­li­an­ce bet­we­en his ol­dest son and her. She had al­ways known that Mi­ra­mar ne­eded her in­he­ri­tan­ce. Lit­tle co­uld ha­ve chan­ged in the past two months. And by now ever­yo­ne at Mi­ra­mar was just over the shock of James's de­ath. In­de­ed, her ti­ming was pro­bably per­fect.

  Eli­za­beth smi­led. Her ex­cu­se for vi­si­ting Sla­de wo­uld be to pay her con­do­len­ces-which we­re long over­due. He wo­uld be in­s­tantly at­trac­ted to her, of co­ur­se, and she wo­uld use it for all that it was worth. If he we­re still dis­t­ra­ught over his brot­her's de­ath, she wo­uld com­fort him the way that James had ne­ver com­for­ted her. And she wo­uld work fast.

  Re­gi­na's he­art was in her thro­at. She was sick to her sto­mach. She ma­de no ef­fort to di­sem­bark from the han­som. The dri­ver twis­ted to lo­ok at her. "Lady, this is it. The Fel­d­c­rest Bu­il­ding. You owe me twel­ve cents."

  "Yes," Re­gi­na sa­id ho­ar­sely, fum­b­ling for the chan­ge. She ga­ve it to him and stum­b­led to the curb. She was lo­ath to go in­to the bu­il­ding.

  Sla­de had not co­me ho­me last night. She had not slept a wink, crying un­til she'd had no te­ars left, af­ra­id that the­ir mar­ri­age was crum­b­ling be­fo­re her very eyes. In the past days as the­ir re­la­ti­on­s­hip con­ti­nu­ed to de­te­ri­ora­te, it was only the­ir lo­ve­ma­king that of­fe­red ho­pe, that still bo­und them to­get­her in in­ti­macy. Last night was the first ti­me sin­ce they had be­en li­ving to­get­her as hus­band and wi­fe that Sla­de had not slept with her. It se­emed omi­no­us. And she still co­uld not un­der­s­tand how they had spi­ra­led so vi­ci­o­usly to this con­c­lu­si­on. Not so long ago they had be­en happy. Or had it only be­en the il­lu­si­on of hap­pi­ness?

  Re­gi­na did not know, and she was af­ra­id of the an­s­wer.

  All night and all day, as she had al­ter­na­tely mo­ur­ned what was hap­pe­ning to them and con­tem­p­la­ted how they might sur­mo­unt such stra­its, ima­ges of Sla­de as he had be­en last night, ut­terly cold and to­tal­ly dis­tant, ha­un­ted her. If his go­al had be­en to bar her from his he­art, she knew that he had fi­nal­ly suc­ce­eded. But if his go­al had be­en to ma­ke her ha­te him, then he had fa­iled.

  For she me­ant what she had sa­id. She was his wi­fe, for bet­ter or for wor­se, and she did not ta­ke such vows lightly. The pro­mi­ses she had ma­de had co­me from her he­art, as did the re­sol­ve which now fil­led her.

  She swal­lo­wed, fe­eling sad and frig­h­te­ned. Sla­de had not co­me ho­me last night; the­re was no ex­cu­se for such be­ha­vi­or, but she wo­uld not even men­ti­on it. She wo­uld not shri­ek or scold when she saw him. She wo­uld han­d­le this cri­sis with all the dig­nity she co­uld mus­ter. She co­uld not let him con­ti­nue to slip away from her-she co­uld not. She in­ten­ded to fight for her mar­ri­age. She wo­uld be­gin by in­vi­ting him out to lunch.

  Re­so­lu­te, Re­gi­na en­te­red the high-ce­ilin­ged lobby. She ap­pro­ac­hed the ele­va­tor qu­ickly, whe­re anot­her wo­man was wa­iting. Af­ter the ele­va­tor had ar­ri­ved, Re­gi­na en­te­red be­hind the stran­ger. Re­gi­na was im­mer­sed in her own tho­ughts, but she no­ti­ced that the wo­man pres­sed the but­ton for the tenth flo­or. Only Char­les Mann's of­fi­ces we­re the­re, and she re­gar­ded the wo­man cu­ri­o­usly.

  The ot­her wo­man sta­red back rat­her ha­ug­h­tily. Re­gi­na lo­oked away. She had se­en eno­ugh. The ot­her wo­man was stri­kingly be­a­uti­ful, abo­ut Re­gi­na's own age, a bit tal­ler, mo­re vo­lup­tu­o­us, and very fa­ir and blon­de. The­re was an air abo­ut her that was very sop­his­ti­ca­ted-in that way she re­min­ded Re­gi­na a lit­tle of Xan­d­ria.

  Re­gi­na had ba­rely slept the night be­fo­re and she knew that she lo­oked ter­rib­le. Her fa­ce was pa�
�le and her eyes we­re puffy. She had pro­bably ne­ver lo­oked wor­se. Nor­mal­ly Re­gi­na wo­uld not com­pa­re her­self to anot­her wo­man, but to­day she co­uld not help fe­eling dowdy next to the stran­ger.

  When the ele­va­tor stop­ped on the tenth flo­or, Re­gi­na po­li­tely let her exit first. She co­uld not ima­gi­ne what such a wo­man wo­uld want with so­me­one from Char­les Mann's of­fi­ce. The ot­her wo­man had re­mo­ved her glo­ves and Re­gi­na had al­re­ady no­ti­ced that she did not we­ar a wed­ding ring, so ob­vi­o­usly she was not vi­si­ting her hus­band. Per­haps one of the clerks was a be­au. Tra­iling be­hind her, Re­gi­na frow­ned when the wo­man ap­pe­ared to be go­ing all the way to the end of the cor­ri­dor. The­re was only one of­fi­ce at the end of the hall and Re­gi­na fro­ze in her tracks.

  Why wo­uld this wo­man be vi­si­ting Sla­de? What bu­si­ness co­uld she pos­sibly ha­ve with him?

  The wo­man pa­used in front of the desk whe­re Sla­de's as­sis­tant, Ha­rold, sat. He had not se­en Re­gi­na yet, who lin­ge­red hal­f­way down the cor­ri­dor, and when he saw the yo­ung wo­man he im­me­di­ately be­ca­me flus­te­red. Even from a dis­tan­ce, Re­gi­na saw Ha­rold turn be­et-red when con­f­ron­ted by her be­a­uty.

  They spo­ke. Ha­rold got up and went in­to Sla­de's of­fi­ce. A mo­ment la­ter he re­tur­ned and us­he­red the wo­man in­si­de. He clo­sed the do­or to Sla­de's of­fi­ce and to­ok his se­at.

  Re­gi­na mo­ved for­ward. "Go­od day, Ha­rold."

  He star­ted. "Mrs. De­lan­za! I did not see you."

  Re­gi­na did not was­te words. "Ha­rold, who is that wo­man who just en­te­red my hus­band's of­fi­ce?"

  "Her na­me is Eli­za­beth Sin­c­la­ir, ma'am."

  Re­gi­na sat as still as a man­ne­qu­in at her dres­sing tab­le. Her ref­lec­ti­on was pa­le and ghostly whi­te. She grip­ped a pe­arl-han­d­led brush in her hand. She had be­en put­ting up her ha­ir. On the bed lay the gown and un­der­c­lot­hes which she wo­uld we­ar that eve­ning to the ga­la at Char­les Mann's.

 

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