‘I thought you’d think I was being silly,’ she admitted. She shrugged when he looked at her in surprise. ‘I am a doctor and I’m supposed to be able to behave in a professional manner when someone dies.’
‘Maybe. But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t affected when something like this happens. We all are. It’s only too easy to imagine how we’d feel if the same thing happened to us.’
‘That’s what got to me most of all. I kept thinking how I would feel if I was in that poor woman’s shoes—’
She broke off abruptly. It was hardly the right moment to admit how devastated she would feel if anything happened to him. She cleared her throat. ‘I’ll have to go back and tell her what’s happened to her husband.’
‘Do you want me to do it? I’m the one who dealt with him when he was admitted so it’s my responsibility to speak to his relatives, not yours.’
‘It’s kind of you to offer, Seb, but it would be better if I did it.’ She sighed. ‘Remember what they used to tell us when we were students? Maintaining personal contact with a relative makes it easier for them. It’s doubly stressful for them when bad news is given to them by a total stranger.’
‘I know all that but I don’t want you getting yourself upset over this.’ He gripped her hand. ‘It’s been a tough night, Libby, for many reasons, and there’s no point piling on the pressure when you don’t have to. I will tell Alistair’s wife if it will make it easier for you.’
‘Thanks. I really appreciate the offer but it’s up to me to do it.’
She gently withdrew her hand, more touched than she dared to admit by his thoughtfulness. She’d missed having him there to lean on in the past year but she had to get used to standing on her own two feet because Seb wasn’t going to be around in the future to help her.
Her emotions were far too raw to handle that thought so she quickly excused herself and made her way to Reception. Alistair’s wife jumped to her feet as soon as Libby appeared.
‘How is he? Do you know where they’ve taken him?’
‘Let’s sit down for a moment.’ Libby eased her back down onto the chair then took hold of her hand, struggling to keep her own emotions in check. ‘I am so very sorry to have to tell you this, but the surgeons weren’t able to save your husband. Alistair died while he was in Theatre.’
‘Died? No, that can’t be right! It must be a mistake. They must have got him mixed up with someone else!’ Mrs Roberts leapt to her feet and looked frantically around the waiting room. ‘I need to find out where he is and sort this out…’
‘It isn’t a mistake. I am so very sorry but Alistair was too badly injured and he didn’t survive the operation.’ Libby stood up and put her arm around the woman’s shoulders. ‘Is there someone I can call for you? A friend or a relative who could be with you?’
‘I don’t know…I can’t seem to think straight.’ The woman’s eyes were glazed with shock as she looked beseechingly at Libby. ‘Can I see him? I need to actually see him before I can believe it’s true.’
‘Of course you can see him. I’ll take you to him right away and you can sit with him for as long as you want to.’
Libby could feel her emotions welling up again as she led the woman to the lift. It took every scrap of self-control she could muster not to give in to them. She escorted Alistair’s wife to the mortuary and waited while she saw her husband and said her goodbyes. Maybe it wasn’t really her job but she couldn’t just abandon the poor woman.
The poor soul was devastated when they left so Libby took her to the relatives’ room and sat with her until she had calmed down enough to go home. She phoned for a taxi to take her because it wasn’t safe for Mrs Roberts to drive in that state. By the time the cab arrived, it was almost eight o’clock—way past the time she’d arranged to meet Seb.
She collected her belongings and went to the main door, but there was no sign of him when she got there. He must have been detained at his meeting so she would have to wait until he was ready to leave.
If she was honest, she was glad of the delay. She still felt as though she needed more time before she had to face the biggest ordeal of her life. Although Seb seemed to have accepted what was about to happen, she knew that it wasn’t going to be easy for either of them. They were bound to have regrets, but what could she do? If he didn’t love her any more, it would be far better if they went their separate ways.
Seb glanced impatiently at his watch. The meeting had run on far longer than he’d expected it to. The main sticking point seemed to be the disappearance of the missing seaman. Despite an extensive search of the hospital and its grounds, the police had been unable to find him. He shook his head when someone suggested that the staff who had been working during the night should be interviewed before they left in case they could shed any light on the man’s whereabouts.
‘It would be a complete waste of time, in my opinion. We dealt with dozens of people last night, and we were far too busy to keep track of one man’s comings and goings.’
He pushed back his chair, knowing that if he didn’t make a move, the meeting would drag on. Most of the people there had been tucked up in their beds last night instead of working. ‘I’m sorry, but I’m going to call it a day. I’ll be back in this afternoon if there are any further questions, but that’s it for now.’
Some of the board members looked less than impressed but he didn’t care. He had been on the go since eight o’clock the previous day and he was exhausted. He made his way downstairs and checked that his team was ready to leave. Those members of staff who hadn’t been called in during the night would take over while everyone else went home. However, before they left, he wanted to thank them.
‘I want to thank you all for what you did last night. It was a real team effort and we should be proud of ourselves for what we achieved.’ He turned to Gary. ‘What was the final tally?’
‘One hundred and three,’ the registrar announced, grinning.
‘Which means I owe you a fiver, junior.’ Marilyn handed over a five-pound note. ‘Don’t spend it all on sweeties or you’ll ruin your teeth.’
‘Yes, Mum.’ Gary smirked as he pocketed the money. ‘Now, admit it—I don’t exaggerate the size of everything, do I?’
‘I don’t know about that,’ Marilyn retorted. ‘I’ll have to check with your girlfriend before I can answer that question.’
Everyone laughed, and Seb shook his head. ‘You two are incorrigible. Right, that’s it, folks. Off you go home to your beds. I’ll see you all back here whenever.’
There was a spontaneous round of applause before everyone started to disperse. Seb was too tired to go upstairs to his office to fetch his jacket so he didn’t bother. He had his car keys and his house keys in his pocket so he would leave his jacket here and collect it when he came back that afternoon. He made his way to the exit, breathing in deeply as he stepped outside into the morning air. The wind had dropped now and the day had that washed-clean feel about it which often followed a storm. If it weren’t for the fact that he still had to get through this meeting with Libby, he would have described it as a glorious day, but knowing what was to come took all the pleasure out of it.
This might be the last time they would be together as husband and wife if he didn’t do something to stop what was happening. Maybe Libby hadn’t taken him up on his offer to help her before, but he couldn’t afford to let that influence him. He had to make her understand that they still had a lot to give one another. It wasn’t a lie. He needed her as much now as he’d done when they had married!
He took a deep breath as panic gripped him. He still didn’t know how he was going to accomplish his mission, but somehow he had to convince her to give him and their marriage a second chance.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Saturday: 8 a.m.
‘SORRY to keep you waiting. The meeting ran on longer than I expected it to.’
Libby looked up when Seb approached the bench where she was sitting. ‘It doesn’t matter. I was gl
ad of a breather. It was a busy night, wasn’t it?’ she added hurriedly, because she didn’t want him making too much of that comment.
‘It certainly was.’
He gave her a noncommittal smile and her heart sank because she knew that he was deliberately distancing himself from her. She tried not to let him see how much it hurt to be treated that way as she followed him to the car park. She had no right to complain in view of the reason why she had come to see him, but she would have felt so much better if he had treated her the way he normally did—warmly, kindly and with love.
Tears stung her eyes when she realised how stupid it was to expect that of him now. When he stopped beside his car, she made a conscious effort to disguise her feelings. The only way she was going to get through this was by keeping her emotions under wraps.
‘Shall we go in my car?’ he suggested, opening the door.
‘It would be easier if I took my own car.’ She shrugged. ‘That way, you won’t need to drive me back here afterwards, will you?’
‘Of course not.’
He didn’t try to persuade her to travel with him and her heart sank even more. It was obvious that he’d accepted that she would be going back to Sussex after their talk and had no intention of trying to change her mind.
‘I suggest you follow me, then. You’ve not been to the new house yet and it can be a bit tricky to find it if you don’t know the way.’ He got into the car and rolled down the window. ‘I know it’s Saturday but the traffic can be quite heavy in the centre of town so if we get separated, don’t panic—I’ll pull in and wait for you to catch up.’
‘Thanks.’
Libby hurried over to her car. She backed out of the space and drove round to where Seb was waiting for her. He gave her a quick wave then headed towards the exit, turning right as soon as they left the hospital. As he’d predicted, the traffic was heavy and the town centre was virtually gridlocked. She groaned when they reached a junction and the traffic lights changed before she could follow him across the road. She had no idea where she was and could only hope that he would notice that she wasn’t behind him.
It seemed to take for ever before the lights changed again. She crossed the junction and breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted him waiting by the kerb for her. She flashed her lights and they set off again, leaving the town behind after a couple of miles. The roads were quieter now and Seb picked up speed, although he didn’t drive as fast as he would have done if she hadn’t been following him. She’d always been a more cautious driver than he was and obviously he was making allowances for that.
Tears prickled her eyes again at the thought but she mustn’t cry now. There would be plenty of time for tears when she was back in Sussex.
On her own.
Seb could feel his tension mounting the closer they got to the house. He kept desperately trying to think of a way to delay the inevitable but his mind just wouldn’t function properly. All he could think about was that each mile he drove brought the moment when he would lose Libby that bit closer, and he didn’t know how he was going to cope. Maybe he should just throw himself on her mercy and beg her not to leave him? He didn’t care if he would be making a fool of himself. Anything had to be better than living out the rest of his days without her!
They came to the final bend in the road and there, straight ahead, was the house. As soon as he’d seen the photograph in the estate agent’s window he’d known he had to buy it. Built at the beginning of the previous century, it stood on the side of a hill and offered spectacular views over the North Sea. Libby had always dreamed of living near the coast and he’d known that she would love it. It didn’t matter if the windows needed replacing and the interior needed redecorating because she would see past all that. He had bought it in the hope that it might tempt her to move north, but now he could see how stupid he’d been. It would take more than bricks and mortar and wonderful views to mend their marriage!
Libby parked her car and switched off the engine. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting but it hadn’t been this. She got out of the car and stood for a moment, just drinking in the view. Pale, pearly grey light shimmered over the sea, turning the waves to liquid crystal, and her breath caught in awe at the sight.
‘It doesn’t matter what the weather is like because the view is always stunning.’
She turned as Seb came to stand beside her. ‘You never told me the house was on the coast.’
‘No. I was saving it as a surprise.’ He gave her a quick smile but she saw the pain that had darkened his eyes before he turned away and realised that he was finding this every bit as difficult as she was.
She followed him up the path and waited in silence while he unlocked the front door, because there was nothing she could say to make this easier for either of them. He pushed the door wide open then stepped back.
‘It’s a bit shabby, I’m afraid. The previous owners lived here for almost fifty years so everything needs updating. I’ll get round to it eventually, if I don’t decide to sell it, of course.’
‘Sell it!’ she exclaimed, stepping into the hall. There was parquet flooring and a sweeping oak staircase leading to the upper floor. A stained-glass window on the landing spilled rainbow-coloured light along the dusty banister rail. It was the kind of house she’d always dreamed of owning and she couldn’t imagine why he would consider selling it…
‘It’s too big for one person. It really needs a family to bring it back to life.’ He closed the door and the quiet thud of the lock sounded so final that she could have wept.
‘Maybe you’ll meet someone else,’ she suggested in a tight little voice.
‘That seems highly unlikely at the moment.’
His face was set as he made for a door at the far side of the hall, and she had to stop herself running after him and flinging her arms around him. She knew that he was hurting but what could she do? If she changed her mind about the divorce, they would be right back where they’d started: he would be living up here and she would be living in Sussex and she couldn’t bear this half-marriage they’d had for the past year. She wanted all or nothing, not a compromise. She wanted to be with him every day of the year or not be with him at all. Living the way they had been doing was tearing her apart!
Seb could feel tears welling up as he went into the kitchen. That Libby could even suggest that he would find someone to replace her just proved how futile it was to hope to win her back. Already she had moved on to the next stage, mentally if not physically…although there was no guarantee about that either, was there?
His blood seemed to turn to ice as he was forced to face the fact that she might have met someone else, someone she loved more than him.
He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t considered the idea before. After all, she was a beautiful and intelligent woman and there would be many men eager to spend their lives with her. Just because she’d been faithful to him in the past, it didn’t mean that she had continued to be so, did it?
She had needs like any other woman had. She had dreams, too, of a family and a husband who put her and their children first. Had some other man stepped into her life while he’d been miles away at the other end of the country? Had she found in him all the things he hadn’t been able to give her lately: security, comfort, love?
Seb could hardly bear to contemplate the idea that Libby might have found someone else and that was why she had driven all this way to ask him for a divorce. Now he had a choice—either he could agree to divorce her and let her get on with her life, or he could make it difficult and stop her finding happiness with someone else.
Whatever he decided, one of them was going to get hurt. The only question now was could he live with himself if it was Libby?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Saturday: 9 a.m.
‘SEB…are you OK?’
Libby frowned when her husband failed to answer the question. Hurrying into the kitchen, she put her hand on his arm and felt him flinch.
‘I’m fi
ne. Just a bit spaced out after last night, I expect.’ He stepped away from her and picked up the kettle. ‘I don’t know about you but I could do with a cup of coffee.’
‘I…um…yes. Coffee would be great. Thanks.’
Libby dredged up a smile but she could tell that something had happened, though she had no idea what it could be. Pulling out a chair, she sat down at the table while he busied himself with the coffee.
‘Fancy a bacon sandwich as well? I’m starving.’
He opened the door of the old-fashioned refrigerator and hunted around inside until he unearthed a packet of bacon, but Libby shook her head.
‘No. I’ll just have the coffee.’
‘Sure?’ He took a frying-pan out of the cupboard and set it on the old gas stove with a clatter that made her jump this time.
‘Quite sure,’ she said firmly, trying to inject some resolve into her voice in the hope that it would convince her as well as him that she knew what she wanted.
Did she? an insidious little voice suddenly whispered inside her head. Was she one hundred per cent certain that she wouldn’t regret this? All she had to do was tell him that she’d changed her mind and…
What? Go back to the status quo, to a life spent hundreds of miles apart from her husband? Was that what she really wanted, to carry on the way they had been doing?
She knew the answer to that question, knew, too, that divorce was their only option now. Seb would be better off without her and she most certainly would be happier if she wasn’t living in a state of perpetual limbo!
Seb finished frying the bacon then poured them both a mug of coffee. Libby thanked him politely when he put the mug in front of her.
‘No problem,’ he assured her, going back to fetch the milk out of the fridge. He added a splash to her mug then went back again to assemble his sandwich. It seemed to take for ever before he had it done to his satisfaction, and by that time her nerves were in shreds. As soon as he sat down, she got straight to the point.
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