by Alex MacLean
I follow them inside.
Heidi takes the girls’ pillowcases and dumps their loot into separate piles on the living room floor. She does this every year. Before the girls are allowed to eat anything, Heidi will carefully sort and check through their candy. Fruit, baked goods, and bagged candy tied with twist ties get thrown out.
I stand in the doorway, watching them. Jaleesa takes off her cowgirl hat and sets it on the sofa. Then she sits cross-legged on the floor beside her pile. Jade picks up a mini chocolate bar and shows it to Heidi.
“Mommy, is this good?”
Heidi looks it over. “Yes.”
Jade brings the bar over to me. “Here, Daddy.”
I give her a smile. “Thank you, honey.”
“Welcome.”
I stare at Heidi. She hasn’t spoken to me since I got back. She hasn’t even looked at me.
I wonder who would miss her. The girls, obviously. Her mother, her sister. They will be the only ones to come calling on her, raising questions. Neither will believe she abandoned her daughters. She lives and breathes for them.
If Jade hadn’t interrupted me last night, the deed would already be done. Heidi would be at the bottom of Lake Ontario.
As I look at Jade and Jaleesa, my heart breaks. I feel like a thief. Here I am, thinking about stealing their mother away from them.
What if the cops throw me in jail? Who would look after the girls then? Their grandmother? Their aunt? Would they be separated and shipped off to different orphanages?
Heidi looks over at me, finally meeting my eyes for the first time since I came home.
“I put something on your desk for you,” she says.
I tip my head to the side. “Oh?”
“What, Mommy?” Jade asks. “A goody bag?”
Heidi smiles at her. “Something like that.”
As I watch her go back to checking and sorting the candy, I have a sneaking suspicion what she put there. That tightening in my stomach doesn’t lie.
I head into my office and see the envelope on my computer keyboard. Even before I open it, I know what’s inside.
Blood pounds in my ears. I feel myself growing warmer, to the point of sweating.
I pick up the envelope and pull out the letter.
“I had that drawn up on Friday.” Heidi’s voice startles me.
I turn to her. She stands in the doorway with her arms crossed.
“You want a divorce?”
She nods.
“On what grounds?” I say through clenched teeth.
“Read it.”
I see the checkmark beside adultery. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No.”
“We already went through this.”
She gives me an icy stare. “You disappear. You don’t let anyone know where you’re going. Don’t even call the girls.”
“I left here to get away from you for a few days,” I say. “To get away from your bullshit attitude. Do you know how hard it is to live under the same roof as you when you’re in one of your moods?”
She shrugs.
“What evidence do you have?” I say.
“Those weird cuts and bruises you come home with.”
“I told you already.”
“Hiking injuries, my ass,” she says. “Something’s going on with you. You’re a man with secrets. I can tell.”
I smirk. “Is that a woman’s intuition? A way to overthink and pick stuff apart so you end up forming your own opinions based on what you think the truth is.”
Heidi shakes her head. “Nothing to do with it.”
“Bullshit. It’s that, or you’re paranoid because of how your old man cheated on your mother.”
“I don’t want to get into this in front of the girls,” she says.
I cross the floor and press my face right up to hers.
“I’ll never let you take them away from me,” I say. “Never. You want to go, then go. They stay here.”
She hits me with that condescending smile of hers. “You’ll never be able to look after them properly.”
“Yeah? Why not?”
“You going to quit your job? Stay home with them? See them off to school every morning? Get them ready for bed? Cook their meals?”
“Think I can’t?”
She shakes her head again. “The courts will decide who gets custody. I’m sure you’ll have visitation rights.”
That pushes me over the edge. I grab Heidi by the throat and slam her back against the wall. Squeezing my hand, I feel her pulse pounding against my fingers. I see the same shock and fear form in her eyes as I’ve seen with many others. She grasps my wrist, struggling to free my grip.
“Mommy,” Jaleesa calls out. “Are you going to finish looking over our candy?”
All at once, I let go of Heidi.
“Sorry,” I tell her, raising my hands. “Sorry.”
The shock doesn’t leave her eyes. Holding her throat, she steps back into the hallway with a wild expression on her face.
“Thank you, Jacob,” she says hoarsely. “You just gave me a second reason for divorce.”
40
Cranbrook, October 31
8:30 p.m.
“Hey, little man.”
“Hi, Dad!” Brian’s voice beamed over the line. “When are you coming home?”
“Soon,” Allan said. “Hopefully this week.”
“Did you catch the bad guy?”
“Not yet, but I think we’re closing in on him.”
“Cool.”
Allan smiled into the phone. “Did you get lots of candy tonight?”
“Yeah. I just got home a little while ago.”
“Who’d you go as?”
“Iron Man.”
“I thought so. Did your mother take a picture?”
“Yup.”
“Good. I’ll see it when I get home. Did your friends go with you?”
“Um...Billy and Jamie did.”
“Who’d they dress up as?”
“Billy went as Batman, and Jamie went as Robin.”
“Three little superheroes,” Allan said. “Nice.”
“Billy’s dad went around with us. But it got really foggy out, so we came home early.”
“Aww, that’s too bad.”
“I know. It’s always foggy here.”
“It’s because we live right on the coast.”
“Oh, Dad,” Brian said. “Mom wants to talk to you.”
“Okay, little man. Make sure you don’t eat too much candy before bed.”
“Um...I won’t.”
Allan could hear the smile in Brian’s voice. “Good night, son.”
“Night, Dad.”
Melissa came on the line. “Hi, Al.”
“Hey, sweetheart. How’s everything going?”
“Great,” she said. “You coming home soon?”
“I think so. Just not sure when. We’re flying to Ontario in the morning.”
“Oh?”
“We’re chasing down a lead there.”
“That’s good, right?”
Allan sighed. “Yeah, it is.”
Melissa paused. “You sound troubled. You all right?”
“Just tired, I think. It’s been nonstop since I came out here.”
“When’s your flight leave tomorrow?”
“Ten fifteen. It’s the earliest one we could get. We fly out to Calgary then connect with another flight for Toronto. Once we land there, we’re going to drive over to Burlington.”
“You have a busy day ahead,” Melissa said.
“Oh, yes,” Allan said. “I’ll be hitting the hay early tonight.”
“Then I better let you go, Al. I have to get the munchkin ready for school tomorrow. Get your rest.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Good night.”
“Good night. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
As Allan hung up, he lay back on the hotel bed and shut his eyes. He put a hand over his stomach, feeling the ugly butt
erflies there again. Without warning, his brain flashed a memory.
Groggy and dazed, Allan crawled to the edge of the alley. He rolled onto his back and half-sat against the brick wall of the warehouse. It hurt to breathe. He was sure some of his ribs were broken.
On the other side of the alley, Lee Higgins jumped in the air, shouting excitedly, “Stanton’s got some fight in him.”
Then he began ducking and weaving and throwing his fists out in front of him like a boxer.
“How’s your jaw, Talon?” Higgins laughed. “Did he break it?”
Talon picked up the pistol and spat. “That motherfucker.”
“You want the honors, man?”
“Gladly.”
Talon walked forward. Helpless, Allan watched the black hole of the muzzle rising to his face. A sudden blast ripped through the alley, and Allan’s entire body jolted. In awe and horror, he saw Talon’s head disappear in a red plume, his feet flying out from under him and his body hitting the ground with a sickening wet thud.
Opening his eyes, Allan blew out a few short breaths. He sat up on the bed, his heart racing.
“Jesus,” he said. “Jesus Christ.”
There was no stopping them. The flashbacks came and went as they pleased, suddenly and unexpectedly.
He got up and crossed the floor to the window. For a time, he watched the steady traffic on the highway outside. His muscles were tense, shaky.
A soft tap on the door startled him.
Pausing a brief moment to compose himself, Allan went to answer.
Denis stood in the doorway.
He said, “Did I disturb you?”
Allan shook his head. “Not at all. C’mon in. What’s up?”
Denis groaned. “I just spent the last hour calling all the hotels in Huntsville.”
Allan sat on the edge of the bed. “And?”
“A Jacob Stark stayed at the Huntsville Inn for three nights last year when Li Chen was murdered. He arrived two days before the murder. Left the day after.”
“What about Hailey Pringle? Was Stark there at that time?”
Denis took a seat on the sofa and slumped forward. “None of the hotels has any record of him.”
For a moment, Allan watched him stare at the floor, wringing his hands.
“Have you prepared yourself?” he asked. “In case Stark had nothing to do with her murder?”
Denis winced. “I have. But it’s hard, you know. Hailey’s mother will be calling me this coming Friday to see if there’s any new information.” His eyes became sad, distant. “I was hoping I’d have something to tell her.”
Allan could see part of himself in Denis. Over a detective’s career there always seemed to be one case that ate away at your brain, one you couldn’t psychologically step away from. Denis had Hailey Pringle; Allan had Mary Driscow.
“You never thought Hailey Pringle’s murder was related to Li Chen’s,” Denis said. “I don’t think Detective Price believed it either.”
Allan shrugged. “The crime-scene characteristics didn’t add up for me.”
Denis looked over at him. “This Jacob Stark certainly seems like the suspect.”
Allan agreed. “He’s looking more and more like it. Detective Price found out he had stayed at the Halifax Marriott during his two visits. That puts him right in the city for both crimes.”
“You have enough grounds to obtain your DNA warrant.”
Allan nodded. “That’ll tell us if Stark is guilty. Or if we’re back to square one.”
“We still haven’t had the professionals compare the weave patterns in the ligature marks.”
“That is true. We got too busy with all of this.”
“Then there are all those other cases we looked into. We have to determine if Stark was in those areas as well.”
“We’ll pass on the information to those jurisdictions,” Allan said. “Let them take care of their end.”
Exhaling a breath, Denis stood up.
“Say,” he said. “How about joining me in the lounge downstairs for a stiff drink?”
Allan gave him a weak smile. “Sure. I could use one right now. Or two.”
41
Burlington, October 31
11:09 p.m.
Life can change in the blink of an eye. One day everything is going great, and then a wrecking ball blindsides you and smashes it all to pieces.
I sit here at my desk, waiting for the vodka to kick in. I don’t drink the hard stuff often. We keep a couple of bottles on hand for guests or special occasions. Tonight just feels like the perfect night to break one open.
Heidi and the girls are in bed. After my outburst earlier, I’m surprised she didn’t pack them up and leave. Maybe she realized she was the one at fault, pushing my buttons like that.
I stare at the application for divorce on the desk. I still can’t believe Heidi took it this far. By reflex, I slip the application into my shredder, watching as the blades cut the paper into ribbons.
There’s your divorce, Heidi. How’s that for you, you contentious bitch? You were right about one thing: I am a man with secrets. Just not the ones you’re accusing me of.
I down another shot, grimacing against the burn. The vodka feels hot in my stomach, and the heat radiates out to the rest of my body.
I tip my head back over the chair, closing my eyes. There’s an ache in my throat, tightness in my chest.
I’m not sure if it’s fear. I’ve been afraid before, but I never felt it like this, the overwhelming despair of it.
Mentally, I feel as if I’ve fallen into a dark place. Terrible images swirl around inside my brain, and I struggle to shut them out.
I drink another hit of vodka, trying to calm my nerves. Then I get up from the desk and tiptoe toward the hallway. I stumble, catch myself on the doorjamb. My head swims a bit.
Through the semidarkness, I see Heidi has closed the bedroom door. There’s no lock, so unless she has a chair wedged on the other side, entry will be easy. Instinctively, I glance down the hallway to the girls’ room. Their door is also closed, but that’s normal for them.
The heat snaps on. A whir of air pushes out of the registers. The sound masks my footsteps as I make my way into the kitchen.
The knife block sits by the sink. I stagger forward, bracing myself on the counter. Slowly, I draw out the chef’s knife. Holding it in my hand, I close my eyes and swallow. My legs feel weak.
I go back to the hallway, turning toward the bedrooms.
I clasp the doorknob of the girls’ room and touch my forehead to the door, pausing. My stomach is queasy, my skin cold.
As I open the door, I don’t feel like myself. Someone else has taken over my body.
In the faint light, I see the girls asleep in their beds. The rise and fall of their breathing fills the room.
I stand there, trembling, ashamed.
Jade’s bed is closest to the doorway. She’s sleeping in a fetal position. When I lie down on the edge of the bed beside her, she starts awake.
“It’s only me,” I say.
“Daddy?” she moans, groggy.
“Yes, honey. Go back to sleep.”
She cuddles into my chest and drops off quickly. I lay my cheek against her head, smelling the cherry shampoo in her hair.
She and Jaleesa are the only two people I ever bonded with, the only two people I ever really cared about. I can’t let Heidi take them away from me. I can’t let her win.
I kiss Jade on top of her head.
“I love you,” I whisper.
Tears spring to my eyes as I place the blade to the side of her neck.
42
Burlington, November 1
5:42 p.m.
They arrived in one car—Audra, Allan, and Denis. Detective Sage Montoya pulled the forensic service van up behind them and parked. Other officers from the Halton Regional Police joined the scene in two separate cruisers. Down the street, out of sight, the tactical rescue unit waited for instructions.
; From the backseat, Audra looked over at Jacob Stark’s home. He lived in a cozy bungalow set far back from the curb. The olive-green paint on the trim and double garage doors blended well with the stacked-stone veneer that covered the exterior. Two maple trees, one on each side of the front yard, towered high above the property; their naked branches hung out over the street.
Audra noticed two little bikes leaning against the side of the garage.
“There are children inside,” she said. “We can’t be sending Tactical in first.”
Denis blew out a breath. “Hmm...I guess you’re right. Last thing we need is them bursting in there, scaring the shit out of some little kids.”
“Let’s do this ourselves,” Allan said. “In the chance Stark runs, he won’t get far.”
Denis said, “It’s not his running that I’m afraid of.”
Allan turned to him. “There’s nothing in the database about him owning any firearms.”
“Not legally.” Denis got on the radio. “Unit six-zero-two-eight, you come to the front door with us. Detective Montoya, wait for my signal to come inside. Everyone else stay frosty.”
The radio squawked, and a man’s voice popped through the speaker. “Copy that.”
Denis checked the search warrant then turned over his wrist, looking at his watch.
“Time to go,” he said.
As Audra stepped out with Allan and Denis, two uniformed officers got out of the cruiser parked closest to the driveway. They followed the three detectives to the door. Allan instructed the dark-haired constable to keep an eye on the back door.
“Yes, sir,” he said, leaving to carry out the duty.
Denis pressed the doorbell. Audra recognized the chime inside as Beethoven’s Fifth.
Seconds passed. No one answered.
“Maybe nobody’s home,” Denis said. “I don’t hear anyone in there.”
He poked the doorbell again. They waited.
Crossing her arms, Audra looked over at Allan. He tapped his foot on the step, watching the door with a hard stare. Denis tipped his head back to the sky and let out a heavy groan.
“Once more,” he said, ringing the doorbell a third time. “We might have to get Tactical up here.”
All at once, there came the sound of someone fumbling with the latch. From the corner of her eye, Audra saw Denis reach into his coat and produce his badge case.