by Virna DePaul
“There’s nothing to forgive, Lucy. You wanted him, and let’s face it—you’re a way better choice for him than I’ll ever be.”
“But he wants you, Wraith, not me. And I’ve known that all along.”
It shouldn’t have comforted her so much, but it did. Caleb had wanted her. He might not want her anymore, but that didn’t change the fact that he once had. “Yeah, well, what’s that Stones song about not getting what you want? If you try sometimes . . .” She shrugged, then laughed. “Well, I tried and I failed. But Caleb can still get what he wants.” Especially now, she thought. Because although she still didn’t know why, the death mark he’d worn the entire time they’d been in Los Angeles had finally disappeared. Right about the time they’d picked up Lucy outside Alton Maddox’s office. So while she was still dying, Caleb was safe. In the end, that’s what truly mattered. “He’ll get what he wants when I’m gone,” she said firmly.
“I don’t believe that,” Lucy whispered. “And neither does Caleb.”
“Sometimes Caleb doesn’t know what’s good for him.”
“But you know what is?”
Wraith smiled. “Yeah. The best thing for everybody is to stay as far away from me as possible. Even when I’m being impersonated, I’m a danger to you, Lucy.”
“You can’t blame yourself for the shape-shifter trying to take me, Wraith!”
“Didn’t you know, Lucy?” They both gasped when they heard Caleb’s voice. “Wraith blames herself for everything. Why not that, too?”
Wraith didn’t turn around, but Caleb just moved until he stood in front of her. “It’s not like she’ll let Dex or me claim our lion’s share of the guilt, considering we were the ones supposed to be keeping an eye on you. Wraith’s a plain old misery hog, aren’t you, Wraith?”
She refused to answer.
“Look at me,” he said.
She didn’t want to, but now that he’d said the words, she couldn’t resist. It was as if he’d borrowed some of Knox’s persuasion powers. She met his gaze and gasped. Rather than the anger or disdain she’d expected, his expression was one of sheer weariness.
“You’re not the only person who brings trouble to those around you, Wraith. I reviewed the files that Lucy retrieved from Maddox’s office. He was sterilizing felines, some by their choice and some by his choice alone. But all the procedures had one thing in common—they were funded by the same person. The same person who paid Maddox to kill Prince Elijah. The same person who hired Doug and Emmett to come after you. Natia. I trusted her, Wraith. Danced with her at Knox’s wedding, and she—”
Hesitantly, Wraith shook her head, not in denial, but to stop his words. His voice emanated pain. “Stop. Don’t do this to yourself, Caleb. Don’t take on more guilt. You’ve had enough, and I don’t want you to carry any more.”
“I know. The question is, why?”
“Because it’s hurting you,” she whispered. Vaguely, she was aware that Lucy had left the hotel room, shutting the door behind her so it was just her and Caleb. Together. Alone.
“Sometimes we need to live with the pain. Isn’t that what you’ve tried to tell me all along, Wraith? That to be truly free, to get where we need to be, we have to be willing to feel everything, the good and the bad?”
“That’s true for me. Not for you. I don’t want you to have to live with that kind of pain.”
“And yet I’m going to, whether you want it for me or not. And you just denying it or pushing me away makes me hurt more. Especially when I know why you’re doing it. Especially since I did the same stupid thing to you.” He lifted his hand and let it hover near her temple, but he didn’t touch her. “Tell me, Wraith. Why would you spare me that pain? Because you care about me?”
“Caleb, stop. You know what’s going to happen to me. I’m going to—”
“Do you care about me, Wraith?” he demanded, his eyes blazing, refusing to let her look away.
“Yes,” she gritted out.
“Do you love me?”
She licked her lips and closed her eyes, tried to say no, but ended up choking out, “Yes.”
“That’s why I wanted—will always want—to spare you the pain, too. But we can’t shield each other from everything, not even that. Because without pain, we have no life.”
Hesitantly, she opened her eyes again. He was staring at her solemnly. “You can’t love me, Caleb.”
Shaking his head, he smiled. “Too late,” he whispered, just as he wove his fingers through her hair, tilted her head back, and kissed her.
Whatever had numbed her pain the previous times they’d had sex was gone. She felt pain every time his lips touched hers or his bare skin brushed against hers. But she didn’t flinch away from him, and she didn’t cry out. Instead, she cherished it as much as she did the pleasure he gave her because in her mind they were both connected. Intertwined so that it was impossible to tell one from the other. The perfect combination of both. A balance. Symmetry in its greatest form. Caleb.
At one point, she reared back, relief bearing down on her. He cradled her face in his hand. “What is it?”
She shook her head, causing tears to fall from her eyes. The death mark. It was gone, and somehow she knew whatever had caused that particular mark to form was no longer a threat to him. She’d tell him. Explain later. But right now . . . “I’m happy,” she said, pulling his mouth down to hers again. “So happy.”
Later, when they lay in bed together, he said, “It was Natia. All this time.”
“It appears so,” Wraith said, smoothing a hand over his chest. What she didn’t say was that Natia had probably been the threat that had generated the death mark. It made the most sense. It had appeared after Caleb had spurned her in favor of Wraith. Had disappeared when Caleb had held her and promised to help her. Reappeared again after Caleb had come after her. And it had stayed until he’d discovered Natia’s treachery.
Wraith would make sure the feline never posed a threat to Caleb again, whatever that took. It didn’t matter to her that Natia had acted out of some twisted kind of love or out of desperation. By threatening Caleb, she’d forever made an enemy out of Wraith and disintegrated any kind of pity Wraith might otherwise have felt for her.
Unaware of her protective thoughts, Caleb continued speaking. “The only thing I can’t understand is Elijah. What possible reason could Natia have for wanting her brother dead? They were close. Closer than any of the other royal siblings.”
“Maybe too close. Maybe Natia didn’t want the closeness anymore.”
When Caleb stiffened, Wraith rested her cheek against his heart and peered up at him. “After I escaped the mage, I did a lot of intel on the felines. I wanted revenge, but ultimately, I knew I couldn’t blame the whole race for one feline’s actions. But during my surveillance, I saw things . . .”
Caleb sat up. “What things?”
She lifted her head, but hesitated.
“Tell me, Wraith. No secrets.”
No. No secrets. Not between the two of them. “Do you know felines are often bisexual?”
“Yes. And I know Natia is. She had a female lover before we were together.”
“She had another male lover, too. One she might not have chosen but who might have chosen her.”
Caleb looked confused, then horrified. “Elijah?” he whispered.
Wraith nodded. “I saw them together once. Acting intimately toward each other. I thought maybe I imagined it, but given everything else we’ve learned today, it makes sense.”
“So she had him killed? Made his death look like a byproduct of War?”
Wraith shrugged. “It’s a theory. My theory. Maybe she wanted to be free of him. Or from her own shame, at the very least. Maybe she blamed the heat, and that’s why she’s been funding the sterilization procedures.”
Caleb pulled her into his arms again. “And then she targeted you. Because she knows you’re special to me.”
His recognition of the fact, plainly spoken, made joy sweep thro
ugh her. “It must have eaten her alive. Knowing you turned her down to be with me at Knox’s wedding.”
“Maybe that’s why Colt accepted her money. Maybe he was jealous, too.”
She brushed away his attempted explanation with a slight shake of her head, clearly not wanting to talk about the man who’d betrayed her. More than willing to distract her, Caleb murmured, “Too bad Mahone had to arrive at the wedding when he did and mess things up.”
She snuggled in closer to him and rested her cheek against his chest again. Closing her eyes, she relished his warmth and the beating of his heart. “Yeah. Too bad. Remind me to have a talk with Mahone about that, would you? In addition to a few other things.”
He murmured his agreement and they rested in the silence for a while before he said, “What now, Wraith?”
She didn’t move. She thought about pretending she hadn’t heard him, but she couldn’t. “Now we wait and see what fate has in store for me, Caleb. But for the first time in my life, I’m hoping she lets me stick around for a whole lot longer.”
She felt him kiss the top of her head before he whispered, “Me, too.”
THIRTY-NINE
Caleb got Mahone on the phone later that day.
c “Alton Maddox was the man who executed Elijah, but he was just the hit man. He had governmental authorization for Elijah’s torture, and the government sanctioned his actions. I want the name of the governmental authority you promised me.”
Mahone sighed, and his failure to give up the name immediately had Caleb seeing red. “Damn it, Mahone, if you even try to screw me in this, I’ll—”
“Hold on,” Mahone snapped. “I need to make sure this line is secure. Then we’ll talk.”
Gritting his teeth, Caleb waited. And waited. He was beginning to think this was just another one of Mahone’s tricks when he came back on the line. “Are you there?”
“Yes,” Caleb said.
“We’re clear. The name you want is Vanessa Morrison.”
“Wh-what?” Caleb asked, certain he’d misunderstood.
This time, Mahone spoke slowly, drawing out each syllable as if Caleb were an idiot. “Va-nes-sa Mor-ri-son.”
“The First Lady of the United States? She authorized Elijah’s so-called torture and execution? Where are you getting your information?”
Mahone snorted. “I have my sources, O’Flare, of which you are not privy to. But I’m telling you the truth.”
“I don’t understand . . . Natia paid Maddox a huge sum of money just before Elijah’s death. We assumed she hired Maddox to kill Elijah for her. But what connection would she have to the First Lady . . .” Remembering his recent conversation with Wraith, Caleb swallowed hard; he couldn’t believe he’d been so naïve. “They were lovers?”
“Yes,” Mahone said quietly. “I already knew that, but I didn’t know about Natia funding Maddox or her connection to feline sterilizations. Whether she knows about Morrison’s ultimate objective remains to be seen.”
“What ultimate objective?”
“We have reason to believe she’s part of a group called the Quorum, an organization dedicated to annihilating the peace between humans and Otherborn. I’m betting she convinced Natia that sterilization is a feline female’s right and the way to give her independence and freedom.”
“And the false rapes were more than just a cover?”
“Sure. They had two purposes. They were a cover, an excuse to explain the victim’s infertility if and when it was discovered—after all, maybe the attacker wanted to both rape and sterilize his victims—and a way to cast suspicion on humans and dissention between humans and felines. Not difficult with someone like Harry Jenkins around, already giving us a bad name and stirring up hate.”
“And Natia herself? Do you think she’s been sterilized?”
“I have no idea. But we’ll get our chance to find out.”
“You’ll have her examined when she’s taken into custody,” Caleb agreed.
“Something like that.”
Mahone’s mild response immediately put Caleb on edge. “You’ve already got her? Damn it, Mahone, you might have moved too soon. Bringing her into custody is going to tip off Morrison. Make her go underground.”
“She hasn’t been brought into custody, O’Flare. Not the way you’re thinking. She’s dead.”
“Dead?”
“Last night she was found in an alley in Los Angeles. You wanna guess which one?”
“The alley behind Maddox’s clinic? But who . . . ?” Caleb felt no remorse. No grief or regret for the female he’d kissed countless times, the last time being just before Wraith’s heart had stopped beating.
“Whoever did it made it look like she overdosed on Ecstasy. When we collected her body, it wasn’t a pretty sight, but it was enough to make it look like an accident. Let’s just hope Morrison believes it and chalks up her lover’s death as another victory for the Quorum.”
“It was the vampire, Colt. He’d have the drug connections and the resources to do it.”
“And the motive. After Natia’s body was found, he walked into Bureau headquarters. Confessed to hiring Doug and Emmett to kidnap Wraith in order to get her away from you. He claimed his own feelings for Wraith motivated him. And he fervently denied authorizing anyone to hurt her. In fact, he said, and I quote, ‘I’d kill to make sure no one hurts Wraith. I have.’ Of course, he clammed up after that and brought in his attorney.”
“Where is he now?”
“Out on bail. He’ll probably serve his time for conspiracy to kidnap and be out on the streets in months. You gonna be paying him a visit?”
Maybe. Eventually, Caleb thought. But first, he’d tell Wraith what Colt had done. Because she deserved to know that Colt had cared enough about her to kill the female who’d endangered her. Right now, however, he had far more important things to think about. “What about Morrison?” he asked Mahone.
“We leave her alone. We want her to think she’s safe. In the meantime, we have a man working his way inside. He hasn’t gotten in yet, but hopefully soon. You okay with that?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m okay with it, but if we bring the Quorum down in the end, that’s all that matters.”
“Good.”
“Mahone, I want to cash in my IOU. And I need delivery to be ASAP.”
“I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going to ask for, and all I can say is, I’ll do my best. But I’m not holding out hope at this point.”
“I’m not going to rely on hope. I’m more of a take-charge kind of guy.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, I’ll do my part and you do yours, and maybe together, it’ll make a difference to someone we both care about.”
Wraith opened her hotel room door, frowning when she saw Lucy was alone. “Where’s Dex?” The three of them had agreed to share a cab to the airport before splitting. Dex and Lucy were returning to Quantico, where Mahone would brief them on Felicia’s “attack” and get their thoughts regarding the felines. Wraith and Caleb, on the other hand, would fly to Maine, where Caleb intended to access all the information the wraiths had managed to collect on the turning phenomenon. Wraith had already called Joanna, who was, despite the way Wraith had treated her in Oregon, anticipating their arrival with every intention of giving Caleb access to anything he wanted.
Caleb had told Wraith about Colt. How he suspected Colt had been the one to kill Natia after he’d found out Natia had ordered Wraith’s death rather than her relocation. She tried telling herself it didn’t matter, that Colt had betrayed her nonetheless, but she couldn’t deny that the news brought her some comfort. For all his weaknesses and mistakes, Colt had truly cared about her. Just as Ramsey had, which had been evidenced by his newfound inability to truly hurt her, even as she asked him to. Humans were flawed and loved by flawed individuals.
Still, that love mattered.
Apparently, she was far more human as a wraith than she would’ve thought.
“Dex isn’t r
eady to return to Quantico,” Lucy said. “He’s decided to spend a few more days in L.A. I’m pretty sure he’s hoping to run into a certain vamp again.”
Wraith couldn’t say she was surprised. Dex had been beyond furious when he’d discovered the vamp had left before they’d reached Maddox’s clinic. Jesmina had played him—with Lucy’s full cooperation, of course—but there was more to Dex’s interest in her than wounded pride. She studied Lucy carefully for any signs of jealousy or hurt feelings, but the mage’s expression was surprisingly bland. “Are you okay with that?”
Lucy nodded. “Who would have guessed the were had such a good heart? But he’s way too alpha for me. I need someone mellower. Someone like Caleb,” she teased, her face lightening with her attempt at humor.
Wraith snorted. “Just goes to show how much Caleb had you fooled.”
Sobering, Lucy asked, “Are we okay?”
Wraith nodded, hesitated, then awkwardly pulled Lucy into a hug. She felt the mage stiffen in surprise before she hugged her back.
“I decided to catch an earlier flight,” Lucy said as she pulled away.
Surprised, Wraith struggled for the right words. “Okay, well . . . Tell Mahone, if I don’t see him myself, I said thanks.”
“Oh, Wraith . . .” Lucy’s eyes welled with tears, and her face twisted with profound sadness.
When she felt moisture gather in her own eyes, Wraith shook her head. “None of that, now. You’ve got to be strong, Lucy. How else are you going to keep the guys in line?”
Lucy sniffed. “You’re right. But that’s more your job, Wraith. I’ll sub for you while you’re in Maine, but as soon as you return, I’m handing over the reins. Got it?”
“Got it,” Wraith said, her affection for the mage growing despite her desperate attempt to remain unaffected.
After Lucy left, Wraith turned on the TV, hoping it would distract her until Caleb returned. He was doing some “research” on wraiths, even though she’d told him everything she knew and still none of it shed light on what their purpose was or if there was a way to avoid expiring. When he returned emptyhanded, maybe he would begin to see the hopelessness of the task he’d set for them, but then again, hopeless or not, she was grateful for the excuse to spend more time with him. Maybe it showed how weak she really was, but now that she knew he loved her, she wasn’t turning him away any longer. Being without him when she died scared her more than the thought of death itself.