Chapter Eleven
I was on the fence all through this scene with Ms. Campbell about whether or not she was actually in the know about what happened in town or not. I actually wrote it the first time with her being shocked when the police came up and went after Jason and Azazel.
Then I started thinking about it. I couldn't have Ms. Campbell, an adult and authority figure here in Bramford trying to help Jason and Azazel out. They had to be entirely on their own. So, I deleted everything I'd just written and rewrote the scene, complete with Kevin's, "Hail Satan, kids," line.
This is as good a place as any to point out that I feel kind of bad about continuing to give Satanists bad press in this story. I flirted with Anton LaVey Satanism as a high school student. LaVeyan Satanism is really just a joke. It treats Satan as a symbol, and is mostly a religion about worshipping yourself. (No lie.) All of my research into Satanism leads me to conclude that there are no actual Satanists out there eating babies or sacrificing goats. I tried to be relatively faithful to the kinds of beliefs I thought Satanists would have when crafting Azazel's parents. I want to stress, however, that the ritual I described in the book is totally made up. Satanists don't do this. For a pretty balanced view of Satanism and its various incarnations, I suggest checking out theisticsatanism.com. And I also apologize to Satanists everywhere for, yet again, making you look bad.
Chapter Twelve
Thanks to my friend Tim, just weeks before writing this book, I'd actually taken a bus trip from Baltimore to New York City and been let out at Penn Station. Although I'd spent time in NYC before, this trip was much different because I did it all by myself. It was also good to have the look and feel of NYC fresh in my head as I started to write about it.
Sigh. I love Marlena. I have been searching for ways to bring this character back into the series through both of the sequels, but thus far, haven't found anything "right" for her to do.
I think at this point in the story, you can also see that I cut my teeth on fantasy quest novels as a kid. Once Jason and Azazel go on the run, I feel like my writing becomes much more comfortable, as if I'm more secure in the always moving, always running into new and interesting characters bit. Marlena's no Tom Bombadil, but she does dress better.
Chapter Thirteen
On television shows and movies, Catholic churches are always open, even in the middle of the night. When I tried to test this theory with the Catholic church in my town, it was locked. I don't know if there are really churches that are open all the time or not. I figure I'm not the first person to have used this little plot device, though, so I hope it's forgivable.
Chapter Fourteen
My father's family is from northern Jersey, and we've spent time driving through nearby rich neighborhoods to ooh and ahh at the really big houses. I've never been to Alpine, however. To create Aunt Stephanie's house, I looked at a whole bunch of virtual tours for houses that were for sale in Alpine. Talk about huge, huge houses. Geez.
The scene between Jason and Azazel, where he tells her he loves her, didn't exist in the first draft. Instead, there was a scene where Jason comes to her and tells her he's going to have to leave Aunt Stephanie's house. I decided to change it because I felt like Jason and Azazel needed something more than one kiss on the streets of New York City before they actually have sex and because I wanted to drop in some talk about living somewhere warm, now that I knew they were going to Florida. Even still, I do think that by most standards, Jason and Azazel have a pretty fast courtship. However, that may be because they're psychically linked or something.
Chapter Fifteen
Shiloh, Georgia is the only place that I wrote about in the book that I've never actually been to (with the exception of Bramford, which doesn't exist. It's loosely based Romney, WV, where I grew up and taught high school for two years.) I did the best I could with research on the internet. Google maps and all of that. However, you'll notice that in terms of descriptions, I'm pretty much vague when it comes to Shiloh. There is no Catholic church in Shiloh. Christ is King Church is completely a figment of my imagination.
I picked Shiloh entirely because of the name, so I really lucked out when I started researching it and found out about the Muscogee. I was even more lucky to find the myth about Rabbit that so coincided with the Prometheus and Azazel myth.
Chapter Sixteen
My favorite part of this chapter was writing the scene with Michaela Weem. She still strikes me as so absolutely creepy.
At this point of the book, I was writing at breakneck speed, lying to myself about how quickly I could finish the book. I remember trying various things with pillows, to prop up my arms while I was typing, because they hurt so bad.
Chapters Seventeen and Eighteen
We really get down to the nitty gritty here in terms of my theme. Azazel chooses to believe in free will instead of fate. Of course, fate intervenes and saves them from the Sons at the last minute. I really like leaving it open as to whether or not Azazel and Jason are actually powerful beings or not.
When I originally conceived the book, I intended this ending to be much more ominous. Also, I wasn't really in a place in my life at the time where I much believed in love anymore. I wanted, instead, for the book to leave you thinking that these two people, who were obsessed with other and quite possibly bad for each other, were still loose on the world and together. I wanted the book to end in a sort of Ira Levin way, where the forces of evil have triumphed.
By the time, however, that I got to the end of the book, I was pretty sure I was going to be writing a sequel. And, while I think elements of everything I was thinking are still in the book, I think the ending is much more mellow than I'd intended it. Truthfully, all around, the book is mellower. Which is kind of odd, now that I think about it, when I realize just how visceral a lot of it actually is.
Epilogue
We're all set up for the next book here, but I also felt that the epilogue nicely tied up my loose ends and provided a happy ending for the story. If I died tomorrow, and I never managed to get the rest of the stories in the series published, I'd feel okay about leaving Jason and Azazel at this point.
Unfortunately, the two of them don't get much time to be happy together. Life's a bitch when you're a character in one of my books.
character sketch: Jason
This is a very early exploration into Jason, from his perspective. It's from my early notes on the novel:
I want desperately, beyond anything on earth, not to be the savior of the universe. I want not to be the chosen one, the rising sun, who will bring about a new world order. I want more than anything for this not to be true. I just want to be . . . normal. I want to be a kid. I want to think about girls and sports, maybe, and play video games and just . . .
But that's not to be. Because even though I've run away from them, and even though I don't believe what they told me, not anymore, I'll never be normal. I've been living with this weight on my shoulders for so long that I don't know what to do anymore.
So many people have died for me.
It makes me sick.
So here. Living here. It's just, well, it's what I wanted. But I don't know how to enjoy it. Because I'm always looking over my shoulder, waiting for them.
Anton always believed everything they said. So I believed it. I guess Anton was like a father to me. He was the one who always took care of me. I relied on him. But Anton started to realize that it was all a hoax. That they were just using me--us--to start this new world order. To basically take over the world and to institute all kinds of evil. The Sons are powerful. I've always known that. When Anton found out, when he started telling me what he knew--they killed him. I watched him die. In my arms. I'll never forgive them for that. For taking him from me. But I wasn't going to stick around after that. They thought they could contain me, but they forgot that they trained me. I know all their secrets. How they work. And I've gotten away from them. I'll never go back. If I have to run for the rest of my life, I'll never go
back to them. I'd sacrifice almost anything to keep from being under their thumb.
So yeah. I know it's impossible. For me to be a normal kid and to have what I want most. I may not be the rising sun. I may not be the messiah. But I'm not normal and I never will be.
interview with Jason
Q: Why did you go to Bramford in the first place?
A: I was actually on my way to New York City to meet Marlena for IDs and credit cards. I was pretty low on cash at the time, and anything I did—like stealing—put me on the Sons radar. I wanted a way to finance the fact I was on the run that wasn't so high profile.
Q: When did you first realize you had feelings for Azazel?
A: Yeah, um, that was pretty much the instant I saw her. She was just so . . . alive and sure of herself. I was head over heels right away.
Q: Why did it take so long for you to make a move, then?
A: She had a boyfriend! And I didn't think she was interested in me, anyway. It wasn't until the day when she came home from school after I'd been rescued, or, um, recaptured, and she hugged me, that I even started to think that maybe she might like me too.
Q: You seemed pretty sure of yourself in the hallway at the dance. Were you sure that Azazel was into you at that point?
A: Absolutely not. I was so nervous talking to her like that. When she kissed me, I couldn't have been more surprised.
Q: So, is it really true that Azazel is the only girl you've ever kissed?
A: Yeah. That's true. Thanks for bringing that up.
Q: That's sweet, though, Jason!
A: It's pathetic in a certain way too.
Q: Trust us when we say that nothing about you is pathetic.
A: Whatever.
Q: Describe the way you kiss in one word.
A: Uh . . . Okay?
Q: We hear you like Guns and Roses. What's your favorite GNR song?
A: Probably "Welcome to the Jungle."
Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A: Um . . . geez, I really never thought about this. Maybe something a little more different than Jason like Dominic or something.
Q: Finish this sentence: "Happiness is a thing called . . ."
A: Azazel.
Q: Aww . . . you are too sweet to be real, aren't you?
A: Sweet? I beat up three people and I blew the heads of like five guys, or did you forget those parts?
Q: Any hints you can give us about what's in store for you and Azazel?
A: Well . . . let's just say that living in Florida doesn't turn out to the idyllic paradise we hoped it would be. Certain people from Azazel's past come back to bother us.
Torturous: The Frustrating Creation of Tortured
There aren't any special features at the end of Trembling, because I really didn't like that book. I revised it pretty extensively over the course of four or five months, feverishly rewriting scenes and freaking out about whether or not my book was way too dark. It was with relief that I turned to writing Tortured in the middle of my Trembling revision debacle, because I saw the final book in the trilogy as a way to tie everything up again and finally write a book I was proud of again.
As I'm writing this, I'm in the middle of the final edits of Tortured, and I've been worried about the fact I'm not revising Tortured more. But as I set out to piece together the story of the making of Tortured, I realize that the reason this book doesn’t need more editing is because I did all my crazy revision in the planning process.
Okay, so I finished Trembling in March of 2008. I started writing Tortured in April, after watching The Da Vinci Code movie. I was inspired and immediately created a bit of a puzzle plot, with Edgar Weem leaving clues for Jason and Azazel across Europe. Then I decided I didn't like that outline, so I wrote a newer, slightly different one. I started drafting.
I had three senior classes, so after the seniors graduated, I had three free periods a day at school, during which I planned to write Tortured. I was shooting to have it finished by the end of June. For the strangest reason, I couldn't bring myself to write the darned book. The first few scenes went well. I liked Azazel's drunk, numb persona. I was excited about her creepy dreams. I was absolutely adoring the teen pregnancy. But I just felt stuck.
It wasn't until late June, school was out, and I was still struggling to write the book, that I realized that Jason and Azazel don't exist in the world of puzzle plots. It didn't make any sense at all. Neither Jason nor Azazel was in any position to really be curious about the Rising Son. They just wanted it over. They were tired. Furthermore, it wasn't like Edgar Weem to leave clues strewn about for them to find. It was just too weird.
I agonized and agonized. I stared at my blank computer screen for hours. I got in a bad mood with my boyfriend Aaron and began accusing him of all kinds of messed up things. He got mad at me and told me I was drinking too much and being mean after I drank. (It was like my book came to life. What the hell?) Everything was crap.
Instead of writing, I spent all day, every day reading Rachel Caine novels. Finally, I wrote a new outline, inspired by Carpe Corpus, in which Jason and Azazel and the Brothers took over the Sol Solis School and ruled it with an iron fist. This outline was not all bad, and I kind of liked it. I did get some good stuff from it, like all of the kids in the school going batty crazy and worshipping Jason and Azazel.
This was finally solved one day when I had an epiphany. Grandma Hoyt was evil. I had originally cast her in the Agnes role, as a kind and wise old lady who would supply the driving force or point of the entire series. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she'd helped Noah and Gordon or why she'd emailed Michaela Weem at the end of Trembling. Once I knew Grandma Hoyt was evil, the rest of the book suddenly made sense.
By this time it was late July. Aaron and I were planning a trip to Ocean City, and I really didn't want the spectre of this darned book hanging over me anymore. So I made a daring plan. I had about 60,000 words written, and my goal was 80,000. So, I decided to write the rest of the book in two days—10,000 words a day. I seem to work well binge writing. Those days were fun.
Anyway, then Tortured was done.
Here are the four outlines:
Outline 1
-Azazel and Jason planning to make out. Azazel is hesitant, and instead wants to talk about how they're going to find information. Azazel offers idea to flirt with guy who owns library. Jason is pissed. Making out does not ensue. Instead they plan to try to break into the library the next day after dark.
-Backstory fill: How we got here.
-Back in the dorms. Palomino is in the bathroom crying. Azazel figures she is still upset about her and Chance breaking up. Tries to comfort her. Palomino is inconsolable.
-Azazel decides that Palomino just needs to get drunk. Palomino isn't sure, but becomes convinced.
-The mean Weem twins next door report them to the dorm monitors
-Dorm monitors break up their party, but Azazel is able to make a deal to get her and Jason into the library for three nights.
-They discover: the Sons are an offshoot of the Order of Reddimus. Jason complains that they already know this. Argument: sex
-In class the next day, one of their teachers notes that both of them seem pretty out of it.
-Sleep deprived and bleary, Chance corners Azazel the next day, pleading with her to help him talk to Palomino. He is sorry they broke up, etc., etc.
-Azazel intervenes, but has plans to get into the library that night with Jason. A loud argument ensues, with Jason trying to get them out of there at every second, until Palomino reveals that she is pregnant.
-Jason finally caves, realizing they aren't going to get into the library that night.
-The next day, Chance is convinced that Palomino has cheated on him.
-Jason and Azazel, on their way to the library, have a serious discussion about sex and protection and other things, like what they would do if it happened to them.
-They find: Why the Sons left, ho
w they left, and the Knights of Reddimus. Knowing this is their last night, they take the rest of the files they have found and sneak them out of the library for later perusal.
-Afterwards, they sneak off to have sex, but they are interrupted by Jude, who has traced them across the country, using members of the Sons to help him (since he is Jason's brother).
-Jason fights off Jude, and is about to kill him, but Azazel stops him. Instead, they tie Jude up and stash him in a basement in one of the dorms.
-Palomino is insistent that her child belongs to Chance, but is in agony about what to do about her pregnancy. She is frightened her parents will be angry with her. Azazel tries to calm her down.
-The mean Weem twins start spreading rumors about Palomino and Chance
-In class, the same teacher comments of Azazel and Jason's inability to pay attention.
-After class, some guy makes a rude comment about Azazel. Jason punches him.
-The teacher, however, smooths things over with the administration and the two do not get in trouble.
-Jason and Azazel decide to watch Jude in shifts. Jason takes the first shift.
-Azazel peruses the files they stole the night before: The Rising Sun, in several prophecies, has a consort or a dark half, and together with that dark half brings about the end of the world.
-When she comes to relieve Jason from his shift, she finds Jason quiet and blood covered, and Jude dead. Assuming the worst, she is angry with Jason and frightened.
-Jason claims he didn't do it. Azazel throws the prophecies in his face and the two argue about Jason's violence and Azazel's violence and drinking.
-Exhausted and unresolved, they realize they have to do something about Jude's body.
Jason and Azazel Extras Page 2