by West, Sinden
“Why do you always look so sad,” Ryan asked in a low tone so no one else could hear. “I never see you smile, not really. You’re like this sad princess living in that glass tower, locked away from everyone else.”
A longtime ago, I would have scoffed at his words. I would have laughed at how ridiculous they sounded, but right at that moment, they touched me. It was like he saw me, and more than that, I liked being called a princess, and if I were a princess, what did that make Aaron? A prince or the dragon guarding me?
Everything in me went cold at the thought of Aaron, and as Ryan came in even closer, his mouth aiming for mine, I put a hand on his chest to stop him.
“I live with my boyfriend,” I choked out. It was hard to wrap my mouth around the word ‘boyfriend’ because that wasn’t exactly what we were. Ryan paused, and shifted slightly back. He wasn’t mad, or even upset, he just gave a nod.
“I knew that, actually. That dark haired guy that you live with? I guessed you were with him.” He took a breath, finally removing his hands from me. “But shouldn’t you be happy? You’re not happy, Paige. I’ve been watching for you for a long time now, and the sadness around you…that must be suffocating.”
I stared at him, and to my horror my eyes began to prick with threatening tears. His response was to wrap his arms around my shoulders and pull me in close. There was nothing sexual about this though, this was pure comfort. For an instant, I relaxed. My muscles loosened as I forgot about that constant tension that tied me up in knots. All I could think of was how kind he was being, how sweet, how comforting, how fucking naïve. He would be the perfect mark; one who thought with his penis yet believed that I was innocent and needed some form of protection, that I was incapable of anything other than purity. I could drain him dry of every bit of cash that he had like a vampire sucks blood. It would be simple. I would play the sweet maiden and put him in the position as my rescuer, setting him up so that he thought that he held all the power when in fact—
Shit.
My hand had come to rest on the arm that pulled me to him, as if driven by the evil in my mind without even being conscious of it. That hand was seduction tinged with ill intent and I pulled it suddenly from his skin as if I were burning. I stood, thrusting his arm from me. I needed to get away from him before the vileness in me plagued him and began his destruction.
He stood as well, frowning and open mouthed. I staggered backward as the loose sand beneath me attempted to trap me there as if it were an embodiment of the devil, or my mother, trapping me until I had served her duty.
“I have to go.” My voice was cold and normal, which surprised me because I expected it to come out deep like a man’s, like a monster. He said nothing as I turned, nor made an attempt to follow. Even so, I broke into a sprint along the beach. I needed to get away from him before I succumbed to my old ways. I needed to be amongst people like myself, bad people amongst whom I could hide and, in comparison, seem purer than pure, whiter than white.
I needed Aaron.
My fingers automatically punched in the code at the gate and it hissed and buzzed as it swung open, revealing the pool and stone pavers, and beyond that the house of glass. I hesitated, my head twisting to search down the beach to the bonfire and the music. I couldn’t make out Ryan, and that disappointed me because I wanted to know if he were watching me. I didn’t know why that was important to me, it just was.
Finally, I stepped inside and let the gate close behind me, cutting me off from all that was normal. Weirdly, I found my lips curving up in a slight smile as I stepped inside the house, as the thought of Ryan’s attention played on my mind. It was nice. Once, maybe, I would have poured scorn on him, but now I missed it. I missed the fun games young people are supposed to play when they test the waters for love and companionship. I didn’t bother to turn on any lights; the moon gave enough light through the expansive windows for me to see my way.
“Have fun?”
I paused just before I placed a foot on the first step of the staircase, before turning into the living room where the voice had come. Inside, I had jumped with surprise, but my outer shell didn’t betray that fact.
Aaron sat in the dark, nursing a drink, and staring at nothing.
“When did you get back?” I asked as I reached over and switched on the lamp beside him. My mouth dropped open in shock as the bruising, swelling and blood on his face were revealed in the light. “What happened to you?” The only marks that I had ever seen marring his skin before were from me.
His lips twisted into a smile that was macabre with the blood staining it. “I got sloppy.” He tilted his head back and drained his glass before reaching for the bottle and refilling it. “Drink?”
“No.” I sat on the edge of the armrest of his chair, still studying his face. “Does that happen often?” I had never heard him offer a criticism of himself before.
His eyes flicked up to me. “No.”
I shifted slightly, wondering if I should just go up to bed, but then asked, “What happened?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know…I’m fucking good, this shouldn’t happen. This doesn’t happen to me. Ever since you…” he trailed off, before slinging back his fresh drink.
I watched him. “Ever since I what?” I asked cautiously.
“Never mind.” He put his glass down on the side table. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“No.” I got to my feet. “Tell me what you were going to say.” I moved in front of him, blocking him the best that I could.
He stopped, giving me a look. “You’re a distraction, Rachel. That’s all I meant.”
I frowned at him. “What does that mean? You’re blaming me?” Our eyes stayed glued to each other’s for a moment, he was the first one to look away.
“Stop being dramatic,” he muttered. He went to move again, but I stopped him, placing my hand on his wrist.
“A distraction? That means you feel something for me.” I took a breath. “I wouldn’t be a distraction if it didn’t.” My heart was beating hard and I couldn’t understand why I was acting this way, why I was acting so needy.
He caught my eyes, and stayed silent for a few seconds before saying quietly, “Don’t read more into this than there is, Rachel. You’ll only be disappointed.”
“Then why bother with me at all if…there’s nothing more. What’s the point?” I asked softly, the alcohol in my system spurring me on unwisely.
“Mutual needs,” he said, never moving his gaze from me. I let my hand drop from his wrist, but his eyes lingered on me for a moment longer before he stepped away. “I need to shower.”
I watched him go, wrapping my arms around myself, confused as always. Eventually, I let out a sigh and went to shower myself so I could wash away the sand of earlier and Ryan’s touch. I didn’t want Ryan, I decided. What I wanted was to be adored. I wanted to be worshipped.
Aaron was in bed by the time I finished my shower in the downstairs bathroom, and I slipped in beside him before turning off the lamp and laying my head on the pillow. He reached for me in the dark, and despite the shower he still smelled like blood. I considered for a moment pushing him away, but then he kissed me. Slowly and seductively, his lips teased mine into opening for him, and, as always, I would never resist him when he kissed me. His hands were deceptively soft on my body, with a hand stroking between my legs while the other cupped my face almost lovingly. I moaned into his mouth as the first tremors went through me of my fast approaching climax. He grinned against me, and broke his lips from mine.
His hands were now no longer soft and gentle, they were assertive and hard. He flipped me onto my stomach, dragging down my panties with a speed that should have had them ripping. Then I felt his lips on my bare behind, he kissed one cheek, before biting lightly just enough to make me hiss. But I didn’t protest, because his tongue was making a trail across my flesh. It dipped down into the center, searching out my anus. Fingers resumed the tantalizing stroking of my clit while that tongue fucke
d me in an area that I had never thought could ever feel good. The first time he had placed his mouth there, I had frozen, scared that he would try to push his penis in, but he never did. Instead, he brought me to climax with his tongue and fingers, before taking his own pleasure.
Chapter Three
The party the next night was held at Alexa and Luca’s. Once again it was an elegant affair attended by tall, graceful women and their wealthy male counterparts. I wore a dress that cost more than I would make in a month at the diner. Alexa took me shopping, and Aaron had given me a roll of cash when I told him who I was going with.
“She’s got expensive tastes,” he grunted just before she picked me up. The dress I chose, or rather, Alexa chose for me, was white with a bodice decorated with tiny crystals so I shimmered every time that I caught the light. The skirt was a diaphanous fabric that floated around me and I kept twirling around as I gazed in the mirror.
“Ready to go?” Aaron was dressed in a suit and together we looked like any wealthy young couple. The bruises on his face had flourished into deep purples, causing him to look mean and not so pretty any longer.
“Sure.” I smiled at him, for no other reason than I felt pretty and I was glad that we were going out to be with other people. And there was a slight smugness in me at the damage that had been done to his face.
We were greeted by a valet as we arrived at Alexa’s house. She had really gone all-out tonight. As usual, she greeted us with a smile and an embrace, her perfume clouding around us. Alexa had a charm that made everyone, even Aaron, behave cordially with her. Although, she was his boss’s wife and Luca, I had learned, was not someone you’d want to piss off.
A glass of champagne was pressed into my hand by Aaron as he took one for himself. He didn’t look happy to be there and just stood at my side as we mingled. It was like a game; I smiled and complimented the women on their dresses or their hair, they did the same, we air kissed. It was like I had woken up in some alternative universe of fakeness. Eventually, Aaron moved away from me without a word, and I guessed that he was going to speak with Luca. My eyes followed him, and my mouth twisted slightly at his rudeness, and the memory of his words from the night before still stung. I stayed up on the stone balcony and watched the people down below on the lower level dancing. The whole effect was magical, with twinkling fairy lights strung between trees and a string quartet providing a soundtrack of soft classical music. It was all that one needed for a romantic night…except for a handsome and charming prince of course. Sadly, those were in short supply.
“Hey, princess.” Antony pulled me to him, kissing my cheek and pressing another glass of champagne into my hand.
“Thanks.”
“You looked lonely standing here all by yourself. So, I thought that I would escape my date for the evening and give you the honor of my company.” As always, his grin was infectious.
“You have a date? Who?” My eyes darted across the crowd below for a single lady.
“Fenella, Fiona…something. I can’t remember. She’s not my type.” He shrugged. “What can you do?”
“I thought all women were your type.”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Only the one’s as pretty as you.” He tilted his own glass toward mine in a toast so the crystal clinked together.
I arched an eyebrow. “Are you trying to embarrass me or seduce me?”
He took a sip of his champagne. “Definitely embarrass…if I seduced you I don’t think that I would be long for this world. Speaking of Aaron, where is he?”
“I don’t know. With Luca I guess.”
He peered over the balcony. “There he is.” I stepped closer to see more clearly, and there was Aaron, speaking with the elegant red haired woman that I had met the very first time that he had brought me here. I couldn’t remember her name, but what bothered me was how Aaron was acting. He was smiling, her hand was on his arm and he wasn’t shrugging it off. Even from a distance, I could tell that he was being charming, and my champagne turned sour in my mouth. It took every effort in me to drag my eyes away from them and back to Antony. I found him watching me with a look on his face that wasn’t so much amused as curious.
“What?”
“You’re an enigma.” His gaze was intense, which was not something that I was used to from him, and I shifted in my heels, suddenly uncomfortable.
I took another drink and looked away from him. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Both you and him. You’re mysterious…almost a match made in heaven.”
I choked on my drink, not sure if I was about to laugh or cry. “More like hell,” I coughed, wiping at the pale liquid that had spilt on my dress. I had had enough to drink at that stage not to care about ruining the expensive garment.
“How did you meet?”
My eyes darted back to him in surprise. He was being serious — that wasn’t like him. “It’s a long, terrible story, and if I told you…”
“What?” He took a step closer to me, and I resisted the urge to move away. I knew that Antony was involved in this awful, dangerous world of violence and death, but I had never seen that side of him. I had never really seen his serious side before and it was unsettling me.
I shook my head. “Nothing.” I drank again, the urge had hit me to drink and drink until the world swam and I never had to think about anything again. Not mother’s, not hanging fools, not cold, impenetrable men who made me feel things that I didn’t want to…
“You can talk to me, you know that? I may be an idiot half the time, but you can always talk to me.” His voice was low and sincere. It had me blushing with embarrassment while at the same time I was touched at his concern.
“Whose side are you on?” I asked quickly. “Mine or Aaron’s”
He tilted his head, studying me. “I didn’t know there were sides,” he said softly. “Not in relationships. Shouldn’t you both be on the same side?”
I shook my head furiously, the champagne had hit me and I knew that my motions were exaggerated. “Do you live under a rock? There are always sides. No relationship is equal. It’s always about scheming and playing the game. There always has to be a winner.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” he said simply, and his eyes switched to watch the dance floor where Luca and Alexa danced in the center, their arms around each other as they stared into one another’s eyes. I watched them as well, before my eyes caught sight of Aaron and the red-haired women. Her dress was a dark, shimmering green that went well with her bright hair. She was vivid and alive beside Aaron’s darkness. They were still speaking, she was still touching him, and he was charming like he had saved it all up for her. My hand tightened on my champagne flute, and shakily I placed it down on the stone railing.
I forced a smile, and turned to face Antony who was watching me again. I took a step closer to him; he didn’t scare me anymore. “So…tell me. What’s a perfect relationship for you? What’s your ideal woman?”
He smiled and shook his head. “That’s too deep for tonight. I’d rather just stand here and flirt with the prettiest girl on the estate.”
I caught his eye. “Just flirt?” My voice had changed; the alcohol had made it deep and seductive. “You know, this place is so big, I bet we could easily find somewhere to be alone for a while, and then you could show me how well you can flirt.” I touched his arm, just like how down below the red-haired woman was touching Aaron’s arm.
Antony said nothing. He let me touch him, move closer to him, and he didn’t move as if I had cast a spell and turned him to stone. Finally, I saw him take a breath. “Paige, Rachel…whatever I’m supposed to call you…” His hand gently covered mine and removed it from his arm. Instant embarrassment came over me and I stepped back. “You don’t want to be with an older guy like me.” His lips flicked up in a sad smile. “I don’t know what kind of fucked up thing you two have got going on, but I’m sure that Aaron would kick my ass if I—”
“He wouldn’t. He doesn’t care,” I
rushed out.
Antony frowned. “I’m sure he does.”
“No,” I shook my head. “No, you don’t know what kind of monster he is. He doesn’t have feelings, just loyalty and...” I trailed off, my brain fuzzy and my voice thick with emotion, “and I’m drunk right now. I should really go home.” I sounded defeated and hollow. My shoulders sagged and I felt stupid wearing this dress. It was as if I were trying to be someone else. I had the urge to strip myself of it, leaving a glittering pile of white behind me while I walked off clad only in the confining corsetry that I wore underneath.
“Don’t go. Stay, besides it looks like Aaron’s having a good time.” Antony was watching him now. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re jealous.”
I didn’t answer as I stood at his side, staring down at Aaron. He must have sensed us watching him, because he slowly raised his head to look up at us. Antony gave a nod of his head in response, and I stepped away from the rail, not wanting to watch him anymore.
“Antony, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.” A blonde in a green dress came up to him, taking his arm. She was pretty, but not as svelte or sexy as the women I had seen him with before. He forced a smile at the woman.
“Fenella, meet Paige,” he introduced. He always changed between Rachel and Paige, as if he couldn’t decide which he liked better. In front of Aaron, he would call me Paige, and I wondered if that just were to annoy him.
The woman gave me a kind smile. “It’s lovely to meet you.” She switched her gaze to Antony and opened her mouth to say something, but he got in first.
“Paige has invited us back to her house for a night cap. We’ll leave shortly.”
A slight look of disappointment passed over Fenella’s face, but she hid it quickly. Still, it was obvious that she wanted to be alone with her date. Antony pretended not to know, and as he looked beyond us, his face broke into a smile.