by West, Sinden
I turned my head to see the man standing there. He was young, his skin tan and stretched over high cheekbones and sharp bone structure. I was struck by his beauty, and even more so, by the utter lack of emotion on his face. His eyes were on the nurse.
“Could you leave us alone?” he asked, although it wasn’t really a question, more of an order.
The nurse wasn’t bothered. “I was just going to call the doctor.” The man, Aaron, stepped aside so she could pass. Only then, did he turn his gaze to me.
“You kept waking up, but never for long,” he said as he moved closer. There was something about him that made me want to shrink away, but I couldn’t quite identify why. If this was my boyfriend, he wasn’t acting very friendly.
“Where’s my mother?” I asked.
He paused. “You’re estranged. You haven’t spoken to her in months.”
I frowned, my head started to hurt and I managed to sit again, holding my head.
“Here. Painkillers.” He picked up the pill bottle from the bedside table and shook two into his hand. He passed them to me before pouring a glass of water from the pitcher.
I placed them in my mouth and accepted the water, swallowing down the pills with ease. “Why are we estranged? That’s crazy. I live with her. She looks after me,” I muttered. This wasn’t right, but I imagined that my mother was at the bottom of it. No doubt this was some new scheme. This guy was obviously rich, going by this room and its view, not to mention the fact that he was paying for private nurses for me.
He sat down on the white bed coverings. He was dressed in dark jeans and black t-shirt.
“Why is there nearly no color in this room? Even you…why don’t you have any color?”
He ignored my comment. “What do you remember, Rachel?”
That my real name isn’t Rachel, and therefore, whatever so called ‘relationship’ we have isn’t real either. This is all just another game, and I have to figure out what’s going on before I blow it.
“Leaving my Mom’s boyfriend. He wasn’t very nice and we had to leave in a hurry.” There may have been something wrong with my brain, but the memory of him kicking and punching me while I was on the floor was all too vivid and it made me wrap my arms around myself for comfort. “Did he do this to me?” I asked in a shaky voice.
“No.”
“Then who?”
He stood up from the bed. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it, but you need to tell me the moment that you remember anything, understand?”
I stared at him for a moment. Yeah, this was definitely one of my mother’s games. No way in hell would I have a boyfriend like this in real life; one that gave commands and was rude. All I had to figure out now was who I was supposed to be. With this kind of guy, I was probably supposed to be some kind of submissive bimbo who took orders and smiled sweetly.
I managed to force my lips into a smile, even though it was the last thing that I felt like doing. “Sure.”
He gave a slight nod. “You should get some rest before the doctor gets here.” With that, he strode from the room without giving me a second look. What an asshole.
Once his footsteps died away, I slowly swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Unsteadily, I managed to walk to the adjoining bathroom. I switched on the lights and they flickered before illuminating the mirror. My hair was still long and blonde, except at the back where I could feel bandages and I wondered how bad my hair was around that area. That wasn’t what bothered me the most though. I looked older, my face thinner, my eyes…well, they were the same — they were eyes that had seen and done too much. I switched off the light again; I didn’t want to have to look at myself anymore.
I managed to get myself back to my bed without falling and that was no easy feat. Only when I was back under the covers with my poor head resting on the pillows did I notice the alarm clock beside the bed, shouting out the time and date in glowing red numbers.
“Shit,” I said hoarsely. It couldn’t be right. I couldn’t have lost that much time. That would mean that I was nineteen, an adult. I groaned in frustration at my fuzzy, fucked up brain. This was wrong, this was all just wrong.
When the doctor arrived, he asked me a variety of questions, and as it turned out, the date was correct. He assured me that the amnesia was likely short-term and that I just needed to be patient. However, he was young and his hands twitched which didn’t give me any confidence. I lay back after he left. My mind, what was left of it, was spinning.
What would happen now?
But I knew the answer to that question. I would do what I had been trained to do, and that prick Aaron wouldn’t know what hit him.
Chapter Six
The night nurse wasn’t as friendly as the day nurse. Brisk and efficient were the kindest words that I could think of to describe her. She gave me my painkillers and left them by the bed without a word before exiting the room, switching off the light and leaving me in darkness.
“Bitch,” I said to the empty room.
I took the pills then lay back down in the dark, I assumed that they would make me drowsy eventually, but right then, I felt wide awake. I needed to find my phone and text my mother. No doubt she had a plan, as usual, but I didn’t want to wait. I needed to know now. I felt blind like this, and truthfully, I was sick of doing what I was told. I sighed, still, my mom worked hard to provide for us…
The door opened and a shadow slipped in. The room was light because of the moonlight, and I could clearly see the figure as he spread out a blanket. I sat up and switched on the light next to me.
“Why are you sleeping over there?”
Aaron looked at me from his place on the couch. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”
It’s playtime, Paige.
I smiled at him. “You won’t.” I patted the spare space beside me, and really hoped that he wouldn’t want to have sex with me. Although, he was absolutely gorgeous. I had never slept with anyone like him before. They were all greying and aging with major issues, which was good because it meant that they were easy to manipulate, but unfortunately it also meant that they were unpredictable…
I frowned, trying to shake away that memory. It wasn’t fair that I had amnesia and that the bad memories still got to remain. Aaron’s eyes watched where I touched the bed, but he didn’t move. I tried to make my smile larger.
“Come on. I’m cold,” I said brightly. Did this dick want to make me beg? Probably. Men loved that. It took effort not to let my smile falter under his gaze. Intense was the only way to describe it and I wanted to look away, but found that I couldn’t.
Slowly, he got to his feet, and for a moment I wished that I hadn’t insisted. He had stripped down to only his boxer shorts and the word that struck me most about his bare chest was beautiful. It was sculpted, yet slim. There was nothing soft about this man. Silently, he slid under the sheets next to me, and lay his head on the pillow so that he faced me. I could have turned the lamp off then, but I wanted to look at him. It was rare to find someone so interesting to observe.
I lay my own head down on my pillow to face him, we were only inches apart, and this was a familiar route to me. Getting into bed with them was always a sure fire way to seduce them in a way that made it seem like it was their idea and compound their guilt. Only if this guy was my boyfriend, then the seducing had already been done, but he obviously wasn’t that into me…he certainly wasn’t acting like it.
“How old are you, Aaron?” I asked.
“Twenty-nine.”
“And do you own this place?”
“Yeah.”
I suppressed my smile. That was good. He was rich. “So, what do you do for a living?”
He seemed to hesitate. “Rachel, this will all come back to you eventually.”
I shrugged. “I want to know now. The last thing I remember is getting beaten up by my mother’s boyfriend, but I know that years have passed since then. Who hurt me?”
“I’m still working on that.”
I s
wallowed. “What did I do so that someone would want to hurt me?”
He stared at me with his dark eyes before responding. “Nothing, Rachel. I don’t think this was anything to do with you.”
That led on to so many other questions, but I bit my tongue. This guy wasn’t forthcoming. I needed to speak to my Mom before I started to put the pressure on him to answer me. “Okay. Tell me some happy things. Where did you grow up?” I tried to make my voice sound bright again, but I could feel the drugs starting to take effect and tiredness swept over me.
There were a few seconds of silence before he answered. “A farm.”
“A farm,” I repeated. My eyes were heavy and I gave up struggling to keep them open. “That must have been fun.” I tried to imagine this Aaron involved in wholesome, outdoor activity, with a bright red barn and dogs in the background, but for some reason it just didn’t fit. But then after a while, I stopped trying because it took too much effort.
I awoke screaming, upright with my hands scrambling for something to hold on to. My fingers latched onto strong shoulders, curving deep into flesh that didn’t flinch.
“Rachel.”
My eyes focused, and blood ran from where my fingernails were embedded in his skin. I sucked in a breath before I withdrew my hands. His blood was under my fingernails and I stared at them like they belonged to someone else. “I had a nightmare,” I said softly. “I was tied to some kind of pole and I was being…beaten with something.” I kept staring at my hands, moving them around in front of my face. “It felt so real.” I moved my eyes to see Aaron staring at me impassively. “Is that what he did to me? What kind of person tortures someone like that?” I moved my hand to touch my behind, but felt no pain there, which didn’t seem right because it was all so real. I expected raised and bloody marks, but my skin was smooth and untouched.
“A monster.” Aaron spoke so abruptly that it took me by surprise. “Go back to sleep, Rachel. No one will hurt you.”
I watched him for a moment, seeing the blood trails that I had left on his skin, before I lay back down and he followed suit. He closed his eyes and was silent. I watched him breathe, his chest moving up and down slightly, but even that was silent. This man was like a ghost, as if you wouldn’t even know that he were there unless he wanted you to know it.
I licked my lips. “Could you…”
His eyes opened to watch me with that dark stare of his.
“Could you hold me for a bit?” I rasped out, unsure of what his response would be. He just stared back at me, and I felt foolish. But then his arms stretched out, and I swiftly moved over to his waiting grasp. His arms came around me and I rested my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and steady breathing. For the first time since I had woken up remembering nothing of importance, did I feel slightly secure. It was as if in his arms, protection was offered, and right then, I felt like I could stay there forever.
He was gone when I woke up. The day and sea outside were calm and blue. Light flowed into the room which sat like a glass box above the world. I felt so removed from everything else up here, like I could sit here and spy down on the world below. But I didn’t have time to do that; there was plenty of spying here that needed to be done.
I started with the drawers of the bedside tables, but they were empty, except for one black handgun. I carefully slid the drawer back into place and didn’t touch it. If he were into guns…that wasn’t a good thing. Next were the sets of drawers that held his clothes — they revealed nothing new except that he liked to wear dark clothes. Big surprise. Finally, I ventured into the walk-in closet. Some of his suits hung there, but it was mostly female clothing that was presumably mine. I rifled through the drawers and found mostly boring cotton bras and panties. White. I wrinkled up my nose as I pulled each item out. Seriously. White? My mother’s lingerie had always been bright and sexy fuck-me-now satins and lace in reds and blacks. No wonder this guy wasn’t really into me. I was boring. I threw the sensible items back in the drawers and turned to the clothes which hung above me. Obviously I was into jeans and plain tops mostly, but there were a few cute bikinis that gave me hope.
“There you are. I thought you’d gone AWOL.” The cheery day nurse stood in the closet doorway.
I got to my feet. “I might have a bath.”
“Okay. I’ll run it for you. Do you need me to help you?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No. I’ll be fine. Do you know what happened to my phone?” I followed her out from the closet and to the bathroom.
“I haven’t seen it,” she said as she leaned over the deep bathtub to push in the plug. “This bath is gorgeous. I’d kill to have it in my house.” She was right. It was white, of course, a deep oval in full view of a floor to ceiling glass window. Maybe someone out at sea might have binoculars to perve at the occupant, but other than that, you’d be completely private even though you were in full view. “Leave the door unlocked so I can check on you and make sure you’re not drowning.” I wasn’t sure if she was joking or not.
I waited until she left before disrobing and stepping into the steaming water. I let the water run until it covered my shoulders. I leaned my head back and smiled smugly as I watched out the window. I felt like a queen up here, I’d really landed on my feet house wise and I couldn’t wait to explore the rest of it. The only anomaly here was that Aaron guy and not knowing what the hell was really going on. Once I found my phone and got in contact with my mother, all my questions would be solved.
I heard footsteps and twisted my head, expecting to see the nurse. But it was Aaron and I jumped slightly at the sight of him, a dark figure against the pristine white of the bathroom. I gave a small smile. “Hi.”
“Hi. Do you remember anything more this morning?”
I turned my head again so I faced the window and relaxed against the curve of the bath, placing my head back on the bath pillow. He certainly didn’t sound like he gave a crap about my welfare; his only concern was my memory. “Nope.” Without looking at him, I offered up a bar of soap. “Wash my back?” I moved forward slightly to give him better access.
I didn’t want to look at him as I asked this. A good looking, young, wealthy guy like him wouldn’t get seduced by subtle efforts such as that, and for a moment I had a fear that he would throw the soap into the bath with a splash in refusal. But the soap was taken from my hand and he began to drag it slowly across my wet skin. A shiver went down my spine at the surprise that this felt so good. Once there was enough lather, he let the soap drop, and used his hands to wash me. I bit my lip, keeping my eyes firmly on the sea. As his hands slid over my shoulders, I hoped that they would dip down further to cup my breasts. Surprisingly, I nearly blushed at the thought; normally sex for me was purely a means to an end. I never let myself enjoy it or get lost in it…but this guy was beautiful. It was just a shame about his personality. Still, I was my mother’s daughter and there was no doubt in my mind that I could win him over.
I moved my head so I could look at him, and his eyes were instantly on my face. “Let’s go out and get breakfast. I haven’t eaten yet.” I offered him a smile that wasn’t returned.
“You’re supposed to be resting.”
“I will, after I eat. Please? I’m dying to get out of here.”
His hands sluiced water over my back to wash away the soap, and he did that intently for almost a minute before answering. “Fine. Get dressed. I’ll wait downstairs.”
I watched him as he left. Maybe I could bend him to my will after all. After drying myself, I flicked through the clothes hanging in the closet, finally settling on a loose, but short skirt that would show off my thighs to perfection, and paired it with a peasant style top. The only issue with my appearance were the ugly bandages at the back of my skull and the part of my hair that had been cut. I found a straw cowboy style hat with a curved brim that was meant for the beach, with a string of shells around the base. That would have to do. I headed for the door.
White, white, everything
was white; from the walls to the carpet and the tiles. An impulse surged through me, to take some berry red juice and throw it with a broad flourish of my arm so the liquid would descend on the walls and the floor in a streak that resembled modern art. I just itched to do it, but knew I wouldn’t. I was a good girl at heart, definitely not a rebel. Still, the thought put a smile on my face.
I found Aaron in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and studying sheets of paper in front of him. I approached quietly, and he didn’t look up, just asking, “Ready?”
“Yup.” I peered at what he was looking at — a glazier bill and another one from a kitchen design firm. My mouth dropped open at the amounts; they were in the thousands. “Have you just remodeled or something?”
His eyes flicked up to me. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
“Oh, I need my phone. Do you know where it is?”
He was already going to a door that opened into the garage. “I’ll look when we get back home.”
I had no choice but to follow him into an immaculately ordered garage that housed a sleek, black vehicle. It was clean too. Just like the bedroom, the house, the kitchen…
He didn’t speak to me as he drove, but that was okay because I was too busy staring out at the surrounding neighborhood. My Mom had been with some well-off guys over the years, but none of them lived anywhere as upmarket as this. That sparked a nasty thought in my head, the one that sometimes said that I didn’t need her, that I would be fine on my own and in control. I didn’t need to sleep with dirty old men. Why would I when I could manipulate someone like Aaron into thinking that he loved me? Although, did he? He sure as hell wasn’t acting like it.
On impulse, I reached over and touched the back of his neck, gently rubbing against his skin. He didn’t move, in fact, he seemed to stiffen under my touch. Slowly, I removed my hand. It didn’t matter then, because he swung the car into a parking lot outside a diner with a 1950s theme. It didn’t look familiar, but I was used to that by now.