I arrived only to find a home atmosphere destroyed as by a wind that puts out a light. There was Peter, stiff and cold, and in the other rooms his babies, quite unconscious of what had happened, prattling as usual, and Mrs. Peter practically numb and speechless. It had come so suddenly, so out of a clear sky, that she could not realize, could not even tell me at first. The doctor was there—also a friend of his, the nearest barber! Also two or three representatives from his paper, the owner of the bowling alley, the man who had the $40,000 collection of curios. All were stunned, as I was. As his closest friend, I took charge: wired his relatives, went to an undertaker who knew him to arrange for his burial, in Newark or Philadelphia, as his wife should wish, she having no connection with Newark other than Peter.
It was most distressing, the sense of dull despair and unwarranted disaster which hung over the place. It was as though impish and pagan forces, or malign ones outside life, had committed a crime of the ugliest character. On Monday, the day he saw me, he was well. On Tuesday morning he had a slight cold but insisted on running out somewhere without his overcoat, against which his wife protested. Tuesday night he had a fever and took quinine and aspirin and a hot whiskey. Wednesday morning he was worse and a doctor was called, but it was not deemed serious. Wednesday night he was still worse and pneumonia had set in. Thursday he was lower still, and by noon a metal syphon of oxygen was sent for, to relieve the sense of suffocation setting in. Thursday night he was weak and sinking, but expected to come round—and still, so unexpected was the attack, so uncertain the probability of anything fatal, that no word was sent, even to me. Friday morning he was no worse and no better. “If he was no worse by night he might pull through.” At noon he was seized with a sudden sinking spell. Oxygen was applied by his wife and a nurse, and the doctor sent for. By one-thirty he was lower still, very low. “His face was blue, his lips ashen,” his wife told me. “We put the oxygen tube to his mouth and I said ‘Can you speak, Peter?’ I was so nervous and frightened. He moved his head a little to indicate ‘no.’ ‘Peter,’ I said, ‘you mustn’t let go! You must fight! Think of me! Think of the babies!’ I was a little crazy, I think, with fear. He looked at me very fixedly. He stiffened and gritted his teeth in a great effort. Then suddenly he collapsed and lay still. He was dead.”
I could not help thinking of the force and energy—able at the last minute, when he could not speak—to “grit his teeth” and “fight,” a minute before his death. What is the human spirit, or mind, that it can fight so, to the very last? I felt as though some one, something, had ruthlessly killed him, committed plain, unpunished murder—nothing more and nothing less.
And there were his cases of curios, his rug, his prints, his dishes, his many, many schemes, his book to come out soon. I gazed and marveled. I looked at his wife and babies, but could say nothing. It spelled, what such things always spell, in the face of all our dreams, crass chance or the willful, brutal indifference of Nature to all that relates to man. If he is to prosper he must do so without her aid.
That same night, sleeping in the room adjoining that in which was the body, a pale candle burning near it, I felt as though Peter were walking to and fro, to and fro, past me and into the room of his wife beyond, thinking and grieving. His imagined wraith seemed horribly depressed and distressed. Once he came over and moved his hand (something) over my face. I felt him walking into the room where were his wife and kiddies, but he could make no one see, hear, understand. I got up and looked at his cadaver a long time, then went to bed again.
The next day and the next and the next were filled with many things. His mother and sister came on from the West as well as the mother and brother of his wife. I had to look after his affairs, adjusting the matter of insurance which he left, his art objects, the burial of his body “in consecrated ground” in Philadelphia, with the consent and aid of the local Catholic parish rector, else no burial. His mother desired it, but he had never been a good Catholic and there was trouble. The local parish assistant refused me, even the rector. Finally I threatened the good father with an appeal to the diocesan bishop on the ground of plain common sense and courtesy to a Catholic family, if not charity to a tortured mother and wife—and obtained consent. All along I felt as if a great crime had been committed by some one, foul murder. I could not get it out of my mind, and it made me angry, not sad.
Two, three, five, seven years later, I visited the little family in Philadelphia. The wife was with her mother and father in a simple little home street in a factory district, secretary and stenographer to an architect. She was little changed—a little stouter, not so carefree, industrious, patient. His boy, the petted F----, could not even recall his father, the girl not at all of course. And in the place were a few of his prints, two or three Chinese dishes, pottered by himself, his loom with the unfinished rug. I remained for dinner and dreamed old dreams, but I was uncomfortable and left early. And Mrs. Peter, accompanying me to the steps, looked after me as though I, alone, was all that was left of the old life.
A Doer of the Word
Noank is a little played-out fishing town on the southeastern coast of Connecticut, lying half-way between New London and Stonington. Once it was a profitable port for mackerel and cod fishing. Today its wharves are deserted of all save a few lobster smacks. There is a shipyard, employing three hundred and fifty men, a yacht-building establishment, with two or three hired hands; a sail-loft, and some dozen or so shops or sheds, where the odds and ends of fishing life are made and sold. Everything is peaceful. The sound of the shipyard axes and hammers can be heard for miles over the quiet waters of the bay. In the sunny lane which follows the line of the shore, and along which a few shops struggle in happy-go-lucky disorder, may be heard the voices and noises of the workers at their work. Water gurgling about the stanchions of the docks, the whistle of some fisherman as he dawdles over his nets, or puts his fish ashore, the whirr of the single high-power sewing machine in the sail-loft, often mingle in a pleasant harmony, and invite the mind to repose and speculation.
I was in a most examining and critical mood that summer, looking into the nature and significance of many things, and was sitting one day in the shed of the maker of sailboats, where a half-dozen characters of the village were gathered, when some turn in the conversation brought up the nature of man. He is queer, he is restless; life is not so very much when you come to look upon many phases of it.
“Did any of you ever know a contented man?” I inquired idly, merely for the sake of something to say.
There was silence for a moment, and one after another met my roving glance with a thoughtful, self-involved and retrospective eye.
Old Mr. Main was the first to answer.
“Yes, I did. One.”
“So did I,” put in the sailboat maker, as he stopped in his work to think about it.
“Yes, and I did,” said a dark, squat, sunny, little old fisherman, who sold cunners for bait in a little hut next door.
“Maybe you and me are thinking of the same one, Jacob,” said old Mr. Main, looking inquisitively at the boat-builder.
“I think we’ve all got the same man in mind, likely,” returned the builder.
“Who is he?” I asked.
“Charlie Potter,” said the builder.
“That’s the man!” exclaimed Mr. Main.
“Yes, I reckon Charlie Potter is contented, if anybody be,” said an old fisherman who had hitherto been silent.
Such unanimity of opinion struck me forcibly. Charlie Potter—what a humble name; not very remarkable, to say the least. And to hear him so spoken of in this restless, religious, quibbling community made it all the more interesting.
“So you really think he is contented, do you?” I asked.
“Yes, sir! Charlie Potter is a contented man,” replied Mr. Main, with convincing emphasis.
“Well,” I returned, “that’s rather interesting. What sort of a man is he?”
“Oh, he’s just an ordinary man, not much of anybody
. Fishes and builds boats occasionally,” put in the boat-builder.
“Is that all? Nothing else?”
“He preaches now and then—not regularly,” said Mr. Main.
A-ha! I thought. A religionist!
“A preacher is expected to set a good example,” I said.
“He ain’t a regular preacher,” said Mr. Main, rather quickly. “He’s just kind of around in religious work.”
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously, not quite catching the import of this “around.”
“Well,” answered the boat builder, “he don’t take any money for what he does. He ain’t got anything.”
“What does he live on then?” I persisted, still wondering at the significance of “around in religious work.”
“I don’t know. He used to fish for a living. Fishes yet once in a while, I believe.”
“He makes models of yachts,” put in one of the bystanders. “He sold the New Haven Road one for two hundred dollars here not long ago.”
A vision of a happy-go-lucky Jack-of-all-trades arose before me. A visionary—a theorist.
“What else?” I asked, hoping to draw them out. “What makes you all think he is contented? What does he do that makes him so contented?”
“Well,” said Mr. Main, after a considerable pause and with much of sympathetic emphasis in his voice, “Charlie Potter is just a good man, that’s all. That’s why he’s contented. He does as near as he can what he thinks he ought to by other people—poor people.”
“You won’t find anybody with a kinder heart than Charlie Potter,” put in the boat-builder. “That’s the trouble with him, really. He’s too good. He don’t look after himself right, I say. A fellow has to look out for himself some in this world. If he don’t, no one else will.”
“Right you are, Henry,” echoed a truculent sea voice from somewhere.
I was becoming both amused and interested, intensely so.
“If he wasn’t that way, he’d be a darned sight better off than he is,” said a thirty-year-old helper, from a far corner of the room.
“What makes you say that?” I queried. “Isn’t it better to be kind-hearted and generous than not?”
“It’s all right to be kind-hearted and generous, but that ain’t sayin’ that you’ve got to give your last cent away and let your family go hungry.”
“Is that what Charlie Potter does?”
“Well, no, maybe he don’t, but he comes mighty near to it at times. He and his wife and his adopted children have been pretty close to it at times.”
You see, this was the center, nearly, for all village gossip and philosophic speculation, and many of the most important local problems, morally and intellectually speaking, were here thrashed put.
“There’s no doubt but that’s where Charlie is wrong,” put in old Mr. Main a little later. “He don’t always stop to think of his family.”
“What did he ever do that struck you as being over-generous?” I asked of the young man who had spoken from the corner.
“That’s all right,” he replied in a rather irritated and peevish tone; “I ain’t going to go into details now, but there’s people around here that hang on him, and that he’s give to, that he hadn’t orter.”
“I believe in lookin’ out for Number One, that’s what I believe in,” interrupted the boat-maker, laying down his rule and line. “This givin’ up everything and goin’ without yourself may be all right, but I don’t believe it. A man’s first duty is to his wife and children, that’s what I say.”
“That’s the way it looks to me,” put in Mr. Main.
“Well, does Potter give up everything and go without things?” I asked the boat-maker.
“Purty blamed near it at times,” he returned definitely, then addressing the company in general he added, “Look at the time he worked over there on Fisher’s Island, at the Ellersbie farm—the time they were packing the ice there. You remember that, Henry, don’t you?”
Mr. Main nodded.
“What about it?”
“What about it! Why, he give his rubber boots away, like a darned fool, to old drunken Jimmy Harper, and him loafin’ around half the year drunk, and worked around on the ice without any shoes himself. He might ‘a’ took cold and died.”
“Why did he do it?” I queried, very much interested by now.
“Oh, Charlie’s naturally big-hearted,” put in the little old man who sold cunners. “He believes in the Lord and the Bible. Stands right square on it, only he don’t belong to no church like. He’s got the biggest heart I ever saw in a livin’ being.”
“Course the other fellow didn’t have any shoes for to wear,” put in the boat-maker explanatorily, “but he never would work, anyhow.”
They lapsed into silence while the latter returned to his measuring, and then out of the drift of thought came this from the helper in the corner:
“Yes, and look at the way Bailey used to sponge on him. Get his money Saturday night and drink it all up, and then Sunday morning, when his wife and children were hungry, go cryin’ around Potter. Dinged if I’d ‘a’ helped him. But Potter’d take the food right off his breakfast table and give it to him. I saw him do it! I don’t think that’s right. Not when he’s got four or five orphans of his own to care for.”
“His own children?” I interrupted, trying to get the thing straight.
“No, sir; just children he picked up around, here and there.”
Here is a curious character, sure enough, I thought—one well worth looking into.
Another lull, and then as I was leaving the room to give the matter a little quiet attention, I remarked to the boat-maker:
“Outside of his foolish giving, you haven’t anything against Charlie Potter, have you?”
“Not a thing,” he replied, in apparent astonishment. “Charlie Potter’s one of the best men that ever lived. He’s a good man.”
I smiled at the inconsistency and went my way.
A day or two later the loft of the sail-maker, instead of the shed of the boat-builder, happened to be my lounging place, and thinking of this theme, now uppermost in my mind, I said to him:
“Do you know a man around here by the name of Charlie Potter?”
“Well, I might say that I do. He lived here for over fifteen years.”
“What sort of a man is he?”
He stopped in his stitching a moment to look at me, and then said:
“How d’ye mean? By trade, so to speak, or religious-like?”
“What is it he has done,” I said, “that makes him so popular with all you people? Everybody says he’s a good man. Just what do you mean by that?”
“Well,” he said, ceasing his work as though the subject were one of extreme importance to him, “he’s a peculiar man, Charlie is. He believes in giving nearly everything he has away, if any one else needs it. He’d give the coat off his back if you asked him for it. Some folks condemn him for this, and for not giving everything to his wife and them orphans he has, but I always thought the man was nearer right than most of us. I’ve got a family myself—but, then, so’s he, now, for that matter. It’s pretty hard to live up to your light always.”
He looked away as if he expected some objection to be made to this, but hearing none, he went on. “I always liked him personally very much. He ain’t around here now any more—lives up in Norwich, I think. He’s a man of his word, though, as truthful as kin be. He ain’t never done nothin’ for me, I not bein’ a takin’ kind, but that’s neither here nor there.”
He paused, in doubt apparently, as to what else to say.
“You say he’s so good,” I said. “Tell me one thing that he ever did that struck you as being preeminently good.”
“Well, now, I can’t say as I kin, exactly, offhand,” he replied, “there bein’ so many of them from time to time. He was always doin’ things one way and another. He give to everybody around here that asked him, and to a good many that didn’t. I remember once”—and a smile gave e
vidence of a genial memory—“he give away a lot of pork that he’d put up for the winter to some colored people back here—two or three barrels, maybe. His wife didn’t object, exactly, but my, how his mother-in-law did go on about it. She was livin’ with him then. She went and railed against him all around.”
“She didn’t like to give it to them, eh?”
“Well, I should say not. She didn’t set with his views, exactly—never did. He took the pork, though—it was right in the coldest weather we had that winter—and hauled it back about seven miles here to where they lived, and handed it all out himself. Course they were awful hard up, but then they might ‘a’ got along without it. They do now, sometimes. Charlie’s too good that way. It’s his one fault, if you might so speak of it.”
I smiled as the evidence accumulated. Houseless wayfarers, stopping to find food and shelter under his roof, an orphan child carried seven miles on foot from the bedside of a dead mother and cared for all winter, three children, besides two of his own, being raised out of a sense of affection and care for the fatherless.
One day in the local post office I was idling a half hour with the postmaster, when I again inquired:
“Do you know Charlie Potter?”
“I should think I did. Charlie Potter and I sailed together for something over eleven years.”
“How do you mean sailed together?”
“We were on the same schooner. This used to be a great port for mackerel and cod. We were wrecked once together”
“How was that?”
“Oh, we went on rocks.”
“Any lives lost?”
“No, but there came mighty near being. We helped each other in the boat. I remember Charlie was the last one in that time. Wouldn’t get in until all the rest were safe.”
A sudden resolution came to me.
“Do you know where he is now?”
“Yes, he’s up in Norwich, preaching or doing missionary work. He’s kind of busy all the time among the poor people, and so on. Never makes much of anything out of it for himself, but just likes to do it, I guess.”
Twelve Men Page 6