Josh grabbed her forearm. “Wait, Sofia. Let me drive you. We’ll cover more ground in less time and you’ll be free to scan the streets.”
After they got in the car, Sofia exhaled. The tight feeling taking hold of her eased some, even as she peered out the window. Josh drove just under the speed limit and she was thankful the traffic was light tonight. Other than asking for directions on which streets to take, he kept quiet and Sofia appreciated that.
“Stop!” Sofia looked to Josh and then pointed out the window. Across the street, sitting on a bench at the bus stop, was Mother, still wearing her house slippers.
As soon as Josh pulled over, Sofia stepped out and crossed the street. She slowed down and sat next to Mother.
“Mãe. Vamos para casa, ‘tá bem?” She touched Mother’s arm, the cold skin attesting that she’d been out too long.
Mother turned to regard Sofia. “I was waiting for the bus.”
“It’s okay, mãe, we’ll take you home.” She helped Mother stand to cross the street.
Josh stood by the car and opened the back door to them. Sofia glanced at Josh and mouthed a thank-you. He placed a hand on her upper arm and nodded.
They drove back in silence, her hand resting just above Mother’s wrist, as if taking hold of a child who’d flee at any moment. The roles of mother and daughter were now reversed. She recalled the warnings from the last doctor who’d seen Mother, and too soon those times of extra vigilance he’d mentioned had come. In the rearview mirror, Josh’s eyes met hers, the eyebrows pulled together with concern.
When they entered the apartment, Sofia walked Mother to her bedroom and helped her into her night clothes, and then into bed. She brought a warm washcloth and cleaned her face and hands, then rubbed some lotion to bring back the circulation. Already Mother quietly began to fall asleep, and Sofia added an extra blanket to the bedding. She turned the night light on and stood for a minute at the door, her mind running through all that could have gone wrong. With a sigh, she left, leaving the door ajar behind her.
Josh sat on the sofa and rose when she entered the living room.
Sofia walked to him and sat on the other end. “I’m sorry, I forgot about you.”
He sat back down, leaving a space between them. “No need to apologize.” He paused. “How is she?”
Sofia brought her feet up and tucked them in, leaning on the arm rest. “I think she’ll be okay. I massaged her hands and feet. I was going to make her a cup of tea, but she fell asleep.”
“And how are you, Sofia?”
She was too tired to think about what she needed. “I’ll be okay too. Just have to get used to it.” The changes had been small till now, but this episode made it all more real.
“Had she done this before?”
She shook her head. “No, nothing like this.” She cupped her chin and rested her elbow against the sofa. “Her memory started to fade first, then the confusion started, but this is the first time she has left the house.”
“My grandma was like this for some time. It was hard watching her lose her personality.” He shifted toward her. “We finally had to place her in an assisted living facility where they could keep watch better than we did.”
Sofia sighed. “The doctors have suggested that.” She brought her eyes up to Josh. “There’s so much involved in that decision.”
“I know, it’s hard.”
“The public facilities have a very long waiting period and the private ones are so expensive.” Sofia brought a hand up to cover a yawn. The stress of the day was catching up to her.
Josh stood and walked to the foyer. “Well, I better go.”
Sofia uncurled her legs and treaded behind him. “Thank you for coming over to help.”
“I’m glad you found her and she’s okay,” Josh said.
Another yawn threatened and she stifled it. With a hand on the knob, she switched on the light outside the door while Josh pressed the elevator button. “Boa noite, Josh. Obrigada por tudo.” Once again, his help had been a blessing.
His eyes softened and he smiled. “Boa noite, Sofia.”
“I’m glad she’s okay, Sofia,” Margarida said. “It must have been scary.”
Sofia folded the sheet down on her side of the bed and added the pillow. It was Saturday morning and Margarida had come over to help. Mother sat in the living room, overlooking the street, while Sofia and Margarida changed the sheets on the beds and vacuumed the rugs.
“It was scary.” Sofia grabbed the pile of dirty sheets and took it to the washing machine in the kitchen. After adding her bedding to the load, she poured the detergent and started the wash.
Margarida had left Amélia and Paulo at home and had come to watch Mother while Sofia went grocery shopping. Sofia went early and shopped quickly to avoid the Saturday morning shopping crowd. If only what else she had on the schedule could go as smoothly.
“Did you get any sleep?”
At the mention of sleep, Sofia yawned again.
“That’s the fifth time you’ve yawned since I got here.” Margarida pointed out.
“It’s Mother. She slept well last night, but most nights she doesn’t. She yells a lot in her sleep and sometimes she even gets out of bed.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
“Yeah, not much fun.”
They paused the conversation for a minute while Margarida vacuumed the entry rug in the foyer. She turned it off when done.
“It’s so nice of Josh to help you.” Margarida started winding down the electrical cord. “It’s like he keeps coming to your rescue.” She waggled her eyebrows. “First the car battery; now helping you look for your mother.”
Sofia took the vacuum from her and returned it to the utility closet. “Don’t you start with the ideas.” She glared at Margarida. “I didn’t call him and I’m perfectly able to take care of myself and Mother.”
“I’m well acquainted with your independent streak.” Margarida drew the curtains apart and opened the window. “But these are like little acts of service he’s doing for you.”
“Service indeed.” Sofia passed a dry rag through the furniture and wiped down the dust. “I think you’re reaching now. He just happened to be in the right place at the right time.” She pocketed the rag in her apron and moved to her own bedroom. Why was she being a hypocrite? She herself had told Josh that he’d been a blessing to her, but in front of her best friend she didn’t want to confess how she felt about him helping her.
Margarida walked behind her. “Well, call it what you want but I think it’s sweet that he dropped everything and rushed to help you twice.”
Why had he helped her so quickly and willingly? Like Margarida said, Josh had his projects, which were both time-consuming and under a deadline. She shook her head. “I can’t get involved with Josh, Margarida.” Sofia dusted the bedside stands in her bedroom. “It doesn’t matter how helpful and sweet he is. He’s an American who’s going back to his country, and he travels more than a circus troupe.” Sofia shook the dust rag over the trashcan. “Besides, he’s inactive. You know how I feel about that. He taught and baptized me eleven years ago, and now he doesn’t come to church.”
“Don’t be so quick to judge him.” Margarida sat at the kitchen table. “We don’t know what his life has been like.” She rested her elbow on the side of the table. “You of all people should know how hard it is.”
Sofia glanced over her shoulder from washing the inside of the kitchen’s glass door. “Well, that’s not fair.” She turned the rag inside out and sprayed window cleaner. “Yes, I was away from the church for about a year, but that was not of my choosing.” She didn’t like to remember that time in her life. Even though her parents had given her permission to be baptized in the Mormon church, they had then stopped her from attending until she graduated from high school. Later, when she started classes at the University of Minho at the Gualtar campus, Sofia had her church records moved from Famalicão to Braga, and joined the branch there.
Margarida crosse
d her legs at the knee. “Like I said, you have no idea why Josh doesn’t attend church anymore. A little dose of compassion could go a long way.”
Sofia opened the glass sliding door. “When did you become so wise?”
“It’s common sense, not wisdom.” Margarida paused while Sofia finished cleaning the outside of the glass door. “Maybe he just needs a friend, Sofia.”
Sofia walked over to the table and sat at the other side. “And how can I be that friend?” She shook her head. “He’s only here for a short time and my life is too complicated for this. The last time I tried to be friends with a guy it didn’t end so well.”
“And Josh is not Rodrigo, is he?” Sofia glared at Margarida and Margarida held her hands up. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. What are you going to do then?”
“I already said I’d help him so I won’t go back on that.” Sofia stood and wiped a spot on a kitchen cabinet door. “I just have to keep some emotional distance and stop being so googly-eyed over him.” She smiled at Margarida.
Margarida winked. “Good luck with that, girl.”
*
Paulo had invited Josh to attend church again, and once more Josh had declined. He was not ready to deal with anything related to church or religion. But being in Braga brought memories that he hadn’t dealt with in a very long time. Everywhere he turned, he remembered the circumstances and the people from when he was a missionary. Having spent almost six months in the area, he was well familiar with the city and surrounding neighborhoods. There were not too many streets he hadn’t walked on or places he hadn’t been to. Of course now there were no mission rules telling him what to do and where to go. And who to see.
Why couldn’t he get Sofia out of his mind? The more he saw her, the more time he spent thinking of the next time he’d see her. It would lead nowhere, and he couldn’t get close to someone with such lifestyle differences. But repeating that to himself was not working. Not to mention, his trip would soon be over and he’d return to Utah, and then what?
No, it was much better to keep a surface friendship with her, the kind of relationship that friendly acquaintances had, and nothing more. No more showing up to help when she had a situation. She’d been doing fine without him all these years and she’d still be fine when he left. Sofia didn’t need him and he didn’t need Sofia. It was as simple as that.
The national holiday fell on Monday. Ordinarily the school would have been closed but Sofia had arranged a private tour for him. How hard had that been to pull off? Other than the first visit, he’d been there once again to take more shots of the exterior, including the courtyard. He’d managed to stage some photos without students during classes but an empty school was definitely better for the interior shots. This time he hoped to photograph the old library, the attic, and the laboratories. Would there be anyone else there or just him and Sofia? Funny how he could be excited and cautious at the same time. Now he just had to remember to keep a friendly, professional attitude with her, and everything would be all right.
For a change from all the rain and humidity, the skies were partly clear, with an intermittent sun making its appearance through cotton-candy clouds. The air was clearer in Portugal, the sky bluer, and the sun brighter. He hadn’t paid much attention when he was a missionary, but his photography education and job had trained his eyes for the little differences.
When Josh arrived at the school’s side entrance, Sofia stood by the door, facing the other direction. He stopped, taking advantage of the moment before she knew he was there.
She wore her hair loose and down her back, a mass of cascading chestnut curls, both glorious and riotous and absolutely fascinating to him. So this was what she looked like when her hair was not braided or in a bun. He smiled. Against the morning sunlight, Sofia’s outline shone in contrast to the dark wooden door, lending her a diaphanous, delicate aura that he couldn’t let pass. He brought the camera up to his eyes, adjusted the focus on the lens to compose his shot, and pressed the shutter. When he checked the LCD screen, the corner of his lips rose in a smile.
She wore dark fitted jeans and a light-yellow top with flowing sleeves. The color looked good on her but he had yet to see her in something that didn’t complement her. Her understated style appealed to him.
Sofia turned as he approached. She shielded her eyes and smiled. “Bom dia.”
“Bom dia para ti também.” Josh returned the smile.
“Your accent is getting better.”
He shrugged. “It’s definitely getting easier with each day in the country.”
Up close, her hair was even more enticing, with light brown highlights as it caught the sun’s rays. He stopped at a safe distance from her to discourage her from brushing a beijinho on his cheeks. Not because he didn’t want it, but because he feared he’d want something more than a simple greeting. Already the temptation to reach his hand and touch the curls on her head proved stronger than he’d anticipated. It scared him the way he was attracted to her, how strong and how fast his feelings had grown in such a short time.
Sofia drew a set of keys from her pocket.
“Is anyone else coming?” Maybe it was better to have someone else come along. For one, it would feel less intimate.
“Just you and I.” She pushed the door open then motioned for him to enter. He motioned back to her and she passed first.
The movement of the door pushed the air in his direction, and in the confines of the room they’d entered, Sofia’s perfume wafted to him. Her hair blew in the breeze and she tucked a strand behind her ear. His awareness of her movements had all his senses on alert.
His eyes adjusted to the darkness. “How did you pull this off?”
Sofia flipped a light switch and light spilled in a short hallway. “I had to promise a date with the custodian’s son.”
“Did you really?” He was under the impression she didn’t date.
A sassy smile lighted her expression. “Not really, no.” She opened a second door. “But I do have an in with the head custodian.”
“Whatever the sacrifice was, I’ll make it up to you.” Why had he said that? She was going to think he was flirting with her. Which he was, if he were honest. His good intentions might lead him down a path he wasn’t sure he wanted to go.
Sofia waited for him. “Definitely not a sacrifice. I’ve been waiting for an excuse to come here alone for years.”
Josh paused and set down his camera bag. He knelt on the stone floor and took out a shorter lens, then switched it out. He attached the speedlight for the rooms where he needed to compensate for the low natural light. When done, he stood and slung the camera around his neck. “I’m sorry you’re not alone then.” He followed Sofia through an archway.
She walked beside him, her eyes straight ahead. “Don’t be. I’m glad I get to share this visit with you.”
And she had no idea how glad he really was too.
After touring the laboratories and theater, Sofia took Josh to the old library. The new library was on the ground floor as part of the new annex built a few years prior, to accommodate more students and staff. The old library was on the second floor of the main building, at the front and overlooking the north side. The fifteen-foot-high ceilings allowed for an added balcony to reach the highest shelves, accessible through a wooden staircase. Sofia walked to the windows and drew the wooden shutters open. With two-foot-thick walls, window seats flanked each of the three large windows in the room.
“This is quite the space.” Josh scrolled through the camera’s viewfinder, to make sure he’d photographed all the details.
“The library is my favorite.” Sofia sat at one of the window seats, her face in profile. “And I like the view from here.”
Josh adjusted the camera and stole another photo of her.
Back in the hallway, their steps echoed in the empty floors. A collection of vintage photographs from 1928 sat behind a locked glass display in the history room. For a few minutes, Josh went around the room, intent on photograp
hing all the details. Sofia lingered behind him, dividing her attention between looking at the historical collection and following his actions.
If he didn’t know better, he’d say she played a game of subtle intrigue, one that was becoming harder to resist. The next time she looked his way, he caught her gaze and held it. Sofia blushed, then turned to the door and walked out.
After she left, Josh blew out a breath. He was a fool, for sure. Sofia was not the kind of girl who played games and he knew better than to think that of her. The empty building created a false sense of intimacy and his senses were in overdrive, that was all. It would do him well to go back to work.
Josh liked that Sofia didn’t try to fill the space between them with mindless conversation. At each room they stopped in, she told him the history and interesting tidbits, funny stories from her time there as a student, or even older ones carried on as local legends. With a building that large and with that kind of history, the lore was bound to happen.
The last room of the day was in the attic, with dormers facing the courtyard below.
“This room was once used as a chapel.” Sofia flipped the switch on, then walked to the windows and opened the shutters, as she had done in the other rooms. “After that, they started using it for storage and it fell into disrepair. In 2009, when the annex was built, they restored the rest of the school as well.”
Josh framed a shot with a wide lens. “I’m assuming it was a chapel for the Catholic church, right?”
She nodded. “It’s the official church, but you probably remember that from your mission days.”
He lowered the camera and scrolled through the shots. What was she doing, bringing up his mission?
“There are religious education classes of Catholic doctrine in the schedule for preparatory and secondary school students.” She glanced at him. “I still had that class in my schedule in twelfth grade. When I started university, I was able to enroll in institute classes, but institute is not connected to school here in Portugal.” She dragged a chair out and sat down to a small table. “I mean LDS institute classes.”
He had to turn the conversation back to her before it led somewhere he didn’t like.
The Secret Life of Daydreams Page 6