Even if she had the right to ask him as a friend, she lacked the courage to initiate something personal. In the past few weeks, the hurt in her chest had begun to subside, slowly and hesitantly, and the promise of healing strengthened her resolve to stay away from Josh.
Her cell phone rang with a call from Margarida.
“Sofia, did you check your email?”
“I was about to.” Sofia closed the tab for Facebook and opened one for her email. “What’s going on?”
“The stake presidency secretary sent an email with the number of people who aren’t able to make it to the temple trip.”
Sofia scrolled through the incoming emails. “I see it.”
Eight spots available at the special group rate for three days at the temple and one afternoon for sightseeing.
“It’s the London temple, not Madrid,” Sofia said.
“Yes, and the cost is just a little higher but you’ll have two extra days than the usual one-day trip to Madrid.”
Sofia read the rest of the email for all the details. “That’s a really good price.”
“I know you’ve been wanting to go to the temple for a while and this would be perfect for you.”
“If I can get the time off from work and school.” Sofia did want to go. The need to visit the temple had been growing in her heart in the past few months, especially since Mother’s passing.
Before she could change her mind, Sofia replied to the email and asked for a spot. “Okay, I did it, I replied.”
“You’ll see, everything will work out,” Margarida said.
Later, as Sofia got ready for bed, Margarida’s words brought to mind a conference talk by President Gordon B. Hinckley from a few years back:
It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out.
Sofia dropped to her knees next to the bed and closed her eyes, letting the words wash over her in a simple prayer. Did she have the faith and courage to believe? If she did her best, everything would work out.
After a few moments, she rose and sat on the side of the bed. The photo album Josh had gifted her was still on the bedside table, and Sofia picked it up. She held it in her hands, no larger than her tablet e-reader and weighing as much. The flat pages with rounded corners fit perfectly inside the printed cover and its craftsmanship bespoke an heirloom object, something to be loved and treasured for a long time, something to be passed down for generations.
To a family of her own. A forever family.
She opened the drawer and placed the album inside, pushing it to the back. Having the reminders of their time together out where she could see them didn’t help her move on. It was time to put that dream away and start a new dream, one that didn’t include Josh.
Didn’t the promise in her patriarchal blessing talk of the importance of family? A worthy priesthood holder who’d take her to the temple? Their own children and grandchildren, like a chain of links to the family before and the family after? Those were the connections that mattered, even if she had to wait a lifetime. And all she had to do was try her best, day by day. She no longer had the pendant, but she’d keep the memory as a reminder to not give up, to always keep going.
Yes, Sofia would go to the temple. Nowhere else could she receive the peace and love she needed so much at this time of her life.
England, at last. Josh took a deep breath and relaxed the grip on the steering wheel. If he weren’t so anxious to find Sofia maybe he would appreciate the scenery and photo opportunities. But Sofia was all he could think about, the one he needed to see. Sightseeing would have to wait.
Who knew driving on the wrong side of the road required so much concentration? Every few minutes Josh’s mind wandered to what he would say to Sofia, and what her reaction would be to his arrival. Should he have waited for her in Braga instead? He’d just left California when Paulo had sent an email telling him of Sofia’s trip to the temple and Josh had arrived at the airport in Porto the day before Sofia left to London.
As much as he wanted to see her, he’d spent the afternoon in Porto while he made arrangements to retrieve his shipped boxes and the used car he’d bought online from a local dealer. Holding himself back from calling her had been torture. So close.
But instead of following immediately after her, Josh had moved into the small furnished apartment within walking distance to Sofia, one he’d found on a real estate website a few weeks before and which Paulo had checked for him. He didn’t plan to rent it for too long, the Lord willing.
In a few minutes, Josh would arrive at the temple grounds. Sofia’s group was scheduled to leave in the morning, but Josh had bought her a return ticket on the same flight he was taking, the last one of the day. If Sofia agreed, she and Josh could spend some time together in the temple before leaving.
But it would all depend on how she’d receive him, wouldn’t it? For the first time since he’d come up with his plan to surprise Sofia, Josh doubted its outcome.
He found a parking place near the visitor’s center, turned off the engine and sat there for a moment, breathing in and out slowly, eyes closed. After he said a prayer, the worry in his heart gave way to hope. Well, this was it; no turning back.
Now he had to find Sofia.
*
Sofia pushed the door and stepped outside. How quickly the time had passed. What would it be like to live close enough to the temple that she could visit every week?
After exiting the temple, Sofia found a bench off the main path. She sat and crossed her arms against the late afternoon chill, glad for the sweater she wore. She was going to miss this place where even the air smelled different, cooler and sharper with a hint of early winter in the soft breeze. The golden-browns and oranges of the trees contrasted with the green lawn and, in the distance, a pond reflected the light around. Through a break in the trees, the main doors of the temple beckoned her, kindling the sense of peace and contentment in her heart. The golden statue of Moroni sat atop the verdant copper spire and gleamed in the waning western sun.
Although she had not received answers to all her questions, Sofia was going home with a deeper understanding of her life and acceptance of the future. Wherever her dreams led her, she had the confidence and strength to follow them, and the patience to wait for the Lord’s timing. Some days would be harder than others, but that’s where faith came in, to fill in the gaps she couldn’t.
Her eyes rested on the main doors again. A man in a dark blue suit stood in front of the temple. Her heart sped up. He had a similar build and bearing to Josh, and Sofia stared, unable to look away. Reason told her to dismiss the resemblance, even as the emotion knotted in her chest at the possibility of seeing Josh again.
A silent plea rose from her to Father in Heaven. Why couldn’t she stop thinking of Josh? He often came to her in dreams and in the past three days, as she had worked inside the temple, memories of Josh and their time together had tiptoed in when her mind was at peace, the little moments of serenity and hope she’d been craving for so long. She’d come to the temple ready to forget Josh and still her love for him lingered, undeterred. And now she even had visions of him outside the temple. She swiped at an errant tear.
“Sofia!” a male voice shouted.
Sofia stood. The man in the blue suit sprinted toward her, smiling widely.
Josh.
Not a dream. Not a vision.
The real Josh stopped in front of her and caught her hand. “There you are.” His lips quirked upwards. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He leaned close and brushed a beijinho on her cheek.
Sofia gaped. His face was clean-shaven and his hair trimmed a little shorter. The dark-blue striped suit, white shirt, and silver tie emphasized the blue of his eyes and strong profile. She brought her free hand over her chest, as if that could stop the old feelings of love and attraction from ramming her sensible side. It was a lost cause and she gave in to her traitorous heart. How much she’d missed Josh; how much she’d tried not to. And how happy she was to
see him again.
“It’s so good to see you, Sofia,” Josh said. He led her by the hand to a nearby bench.
“It is you,” she said at last. She touched the side of his smooth face. “You shaved.” Josh kissed her palm. “And your suit. You almost look like a missionary again.”
Josh chuckled. “No, no, no.” He shook his head. “That’s not what I had in mind with this, I promise you that.”
Sofia agreed, even if she didn’t tell him. “What are you doing here?” She couldn’t hide the surprise from her voice. She had more questions, many more. “And how did you know I was at the temple?”
“Paulo and Margarida told me of your plans before I left.”
Doubt rose in her chest. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” She clasped her hands in her lap.
Josh turned to her. “Because I didn’t want you to tell me no, Sofia.” He paused, his voice soft. “What would you have said if I’d told you I had plans to come back?”
She didn’t meet his eyes. “I—I don’t know.” In truth, the need to guard her heart fought with the desire to set it free. Hadn’t she wished for Josh’s return since he’d left? But the old fears were hard to forget. “Why have you come?”
Josh took both her hands in his. “I came—” His voice faltered. “I’m here because I’m ready to win your heart, Sofia.”
Sofia pulled a hand from his and covered her trembling lips as her eyes flooded. The words stuck in her throat. “Oh, Josh. I—”
“Just listen, please.” Josh breathed in deeply before continuing. “I love you and I just want a chance to prove it to you. I’m sorry it took me so long to come back, but when I started meeting with the bishop two months ago, I wanted to wait until I was worthy to enter the temple again.”
Tears began to spill freely down her cheeks. Josh reached a thumb to wipe them away.
“Please, don’t cry,” he said. That little crease between his eyebrows was back too.
Sofia smiled through her tears. “Josh, you’ve had my heart for months. It’s already yours.” Relief and joy replaced the hesitation she’d had as her confession tumbled out.
Josh stilled and his eyes filled with hope. “You mean that?” he asked, bringing her hand to his lips.
Sofia nodded. “It’s always been yours.” And it would always be.
Josh smiled, intent on bringing her closer.
“Hold on.” She brought a hand up between them. “What did you say just now?” Sofia asked, trying to tamp down the impatience rising in her chest. So much for learning how to wait.
Josh held her gaze. “I said I’m ready to enter the temple again.”
A small smile curled her lips and she tugged at his hands. “That’s really, really good. So good. And it makes me so happy.” She dropped her voice. “But what did you say before that?”
Josh smiled, then leaned toward her and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Sofia,” he whispered in her ear.
Sofia trembled at the smoothness of his cheek against hers. Three little words, the ones she’d been longing to hear for so long. She sighed and closed her eyes.
He kissed her on the other side. “I love you.” He repeated the whisper.
His arms came around her waist and Sofia raised hers around his neck. She didn’t wait. She was tired of waiting. Sofia tipped her head up and kissed Josh on the lips.
“I love you too,” she whispered back. She kissed him again and Josh returned the kiss for a long, wonderful moment.
Josh pulled back to look in her eyes and smile at her. “Is that a yes then?”
“A yes to what?”
“To my question.” He brushed his lips against the side of her neck.
Sofia dropped her hands to his biceps, steadying herself. “I didn’t hear a question,” she murmured.
His eyes twinkled and his mouth curved into a smile. “Will you marry me, Sofia Monteiro? Will you marry me in the temple for time and all eternity?”
“Yes.” She smiled against his lips and kissed him again. “A thousand times, yes.”
Six months later
They arrived at Quinta do Souto in the early evening, as the magenta rays stretched across the western sky. Josh helped Sofia out from the car and took her hand in his. She stepped closer to him as they walked together toward the iron fence on the south wall. He looked down at her and smiled.
With their hands joined together, her heart skipped a beat. Even after four months of being married, the simplicity of the gesture thrilled her, and it brought a sense of gratitude for all the times of shared love and everyday blessings she’d only dreamed about before meeting Josh. Only, the reality was so much better than all the dreams.
A large Vendido sign hung over the stone work. Josh draped an arm over Sofia’s shoulders. She gestured at the bright red letters.
“Look, it’s been sold.” It was hard to summon the optimism as the last of her hope slid through.
“It’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Josh’s hand slipped into hers again.
“Yes, of course. I mean, I hope it’s been sold privately and that they’ll want to remodel it.”
“It’ll be a lot of work.”
“I’m sure.” Sofia contemplated the house as all the moments with Tia Joana rushed through her mind. Such happy summers she’d spent there. She couldn’t shake the feeling of nostalgia.
Josh tugged her hand playfully. “What would you do first?”
“Me?” She watched the house. “It’s hard to tell; I haven’t been inside in so long. I’d probably start with the kitchen and the bathrooms, maybe one bedroom as well, then work on the outside, little by little.” She swept her gaze over the border of blue tiles under the eaves of the terracotta roof, cataloging the needed changes. The cracks, the splinted molding, the disarray of the gardens and grounds. “Whoever owns it has a lot of work ahead. They’ll need a good construction loan.”
Josh laughed and hugged her tightly, lifting her briefly off the ground. “Not yet, but very soon.”
Sofia regarded him slowly. “What are you talking about?”
His smile was wide and held a tinge of mischief. He slipped a hand in his jeans pocket and held out a small brown box. She hesitated.
“Come on, it won’t bite you. Open it,” he said.
His lopsided smile and dimples set her heart racing. She hoped she’d always have this response to that expression when he directed it at her.
Sofia took the box from him and he brought an arm around her waist, keeping her close to his side. At last she found the courage to remove the lid—inside, nestled in blue tissue paper, sat a skeleton key.
As the hope grew in her chest, her breath caught for a moment and her voice trembled. “Josh?”
He held her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead, then smiled wide with an amused glint in his brilliant eyes. “This, minha querida esposa, is the key to our new house.” He inclined his head toward the fence. “This one here.”
Sofia swallowed a sob and brought a hand to her lips. A warm tear slid down her cheek and her fingers shook as she held the key.
“You’re right. It will be a lot of work.” Josh brought her closer and rested his hands at the small of her back. He bent to kiss her on the lips. “But I know how much this house means to you, and I know we can make it work,” he said gently.
She nodded, unable to find the right words.
“And because it had been for sale for so long, I was able to negotiate a really good price.” He continued. “We’re going to sit down together and plan the remodel. It’s got to be good for something that you married a former architect-slash-engineer, don’t you think so?” Josh raised an eyebrow and winked at her.
Sofia smiled through her tears, his eyes so intent on her—so much love, so much faith in them.
“Oh, Josh.” She jumped at him and hugged him around the neck. His arms came around her. “You wonderful, adorable, crazy husband of mine. Do you have any idea what you have done? What this means?”
“Sim, perfeitamente,” he said in a confident voice.
He set her down on the pavement, but his arms lingered. Josh’s lips touched Sofia’s as he kissed her once more.
“No more secret daydreams, Sofia,” he said when they pulled away to catch their breath. “We live our dreams together. Always.”
Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for reading Josh and Sofia’s story, The Secret Life of Daydreams. I hope you’ve enjoyed it.
Please consider writing a review on Amazon and Goodreads. This is the best way to support me as an author.
For news of upcoming books and promotions, sign up for the newsletter.
I love to hear from readers! You can contact me through Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, and Pinterest. Or send me an email here.
Thank you!
Nominate This Book
The Whitneys are an awards program for novels written by LDS (or Mormon) authors. Novels can be nominated by any reader (via the website or by mail), and nominees are voted on by an academy of industry professionals, including authors, publishers, bookstore owners, distributors, critics, and others.
To nominate this book, please follow this link and click on the “nominate” tab:
The Whitney Awards.
Josh and Sofia
on their wedding day at the London Temple.
Acknowledgments
Well, where do I start? It’s been a three year journey from the first story concept to publication and along the way there are many, many people who helped me get there. In particular, I wish to thank:
The beta readers to my first story version, Amber, Cheryl, Laura, Vicki, Debra, Rebecca L., Nan, Rebecca J., Ellie, Virginia, Elizabete, and Paula. Thank you for the comments that got me started on the editing path.
The Facebook writing groups I visit almost everyday, Authors Think Tank and iWriteNetwork, with so many helpful, encouraging members.
My first editor, Elizabeth Ludwig, who opened my eyes to how much work I had to do. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I’m thankful you had the courage and kindness to point out my mistakes.
The Secret Life of Daydreams Page 27