by R.H. Proenza
****
He heard birds chirping. Was this the forest? He opened his eyes and realized the birds were outside his window. He was awake and at home. The dream came flooding back to him. He shot up in bed as the memory soaked into his mind. Had he talked to his beloved Callie? Had his mind made up the dream, as if wishful thinking? No, he did, in fact, talk to her, but she disappeared before she finished talking. He ran to the bathroom mirror and there it was -- the little heart with a star in its middle drawn by her fingertip!
It was real, it had all happened. He believed now, he really believed, and he would push logic aside. He would have to! An epiphany jumped at him. Some things in the universe existed that could not be explained, and they existed whether or not you believed them. He had new motivation to live. How foolish that episode with the gun had been. All that booze did turn his brain into guacamole! That small bitter-sweet contact with his beloved seemed to change everything. Even as brief and flimsy as it was, it happened! Yet the ache and loss in his heart still remained.
He collected himself and got busy cleaning the house that had gotten in such disarray since the funeral. He remembered to run to the store and renew his grocery supply, although he was reluctant to leave the house. After a while, he ran out of things to do and realized he had been staying busy waiting to see if Callie would reappear.
He stood at the window and pondered all that had happened since her death. Her reappearance had turned his world upside down. As he stood he felt something strange --- a pressure at his back. He froze because he knew immediately it was her. He perceived the familiar contact of her breasts on his back through the filmy shirt he had given her. He felt her hips and full body up against him, and her arms surrounding his torso. He closed his eyes and let his breath out to relish this feather-light sensation. He imagined the warmth he would have felt had her living body really been there, and felt his own body respond.
"Callie … Callie … how I miss you, baby." His whisper came out ragged. After long wonderful minutes passed the sensation was gone. She had visited him again, making herself be felt until she tired out. He understood. He decided if they could only communicate while dreaming then he was headed for bed as soon as the time came.
Now in bed, he felt himself drifting off to sleep but not before he felt light pressure on his lips. Did she just kiss me, or did I imagine it? BABY, I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! was his last thought. He eased into a restful sleep. Then sounds of the running brook surrounded him.
Daniel Brody was again outside of his body. He saw an impossibly blue sky and he could hear the bubbling of flowing water. An active crystalline brook was nearby and explained the sound.
"Hi, honey," came her sweet voice from behind. "Yes, that was me," she said with a little girl giggle and came toward him. They rushed into each other's arms. He devoured her lips in a burning kiss.
"Oh, how I've missed you, baby," his voice almost gruff, hungry for her. They pressed against each other in a tight embrace. At once he realized their clothing had dissolved away. "O-o-o-h ..." he gasped as he felt the sensation of her soft naked skin on his. "Things happen, uh, quickly in this dream-world."
"Darling, I did that," she whispered into his ear. "Make love to me, one more time." She put her mouth on his for a long moment and then lay down on a soft blanket that had appeared on top of the grass. He paused looking down and took in her incredible beautiful nakedness.
Their lovemaking on the grass was exquisite, lasting for hours it seemed. The intensity was dizzying. Afterward, they rested tangled in each other. They enjoyed the pleasant sound of the brook and the warmth of the day. She turned, looked into his eyes and donned a sad face.
"What is it, Callie?"
"Darling ..." she creased her forehead. "I have to leave."
"But I'll see you later, or tomorrow, right?"
"Danny, this was a gift we were given. A parting gift; a special gift of love. My reason for being here between our two worlds was to prevent a terrible tragedy. YOURS! Also, if you had taken your own life I might have been stuck in limbo, I think; all this is still new to me."
A big tear ran down his cheek, then another.
"You must never even think of taking your own life. NOT EVER!"
"But ... you're my LIFE ... you're my Soul-mate, remember? You're my EVERYTHING! I can't live without!"
"NO! Listen! Now you must live for BOTH of us! You MUST!" She paused and held his face. "Right now the future is a little fuzzy to me, and I know I won't be visiting you again like this. And yet, I DON'T think this is the end. There's something else there that I can't see. I'm just not sure what it is. Honey, I know that what I'm about to say now is awkward, but listen to me carefully: DON'T BE ALONE! Please-Please find someone else … don't be alone. Do it for ME, yes, for ME, find someone else, and with MY blessing!"
She stopped and looked around to where the sun had gotten at once brighter, then smiled. "Danny, I am in a wonderful place. Don't worry about me, honey. And, you'll see that YOUR pain is going to be much less when you wake. I will take your sadness away, and I think…" she hesitated, "… your loneliness, too. You're going to be all right, darling." She started to fade gradually but glowed brilliantly. "Goodbye, my love, goodbye."
"Callie, wait! DON'T LEAVE ME!" He reached out to grasp her to keep her with him as everything turned a blinding white around them. The forest and brook dissolved into the brilliance, along with Callie.
The brilliance of the sun was waking him again through the window as on other mornings. He stretched and yawned like a grizzly bear after hibernation. Scratching the back of his head he had a vague notion of having been dreaming about Callie. Did he remember hearing her saying, "Don't be alone?" What did she mean? The words kept echoing in his head but he couldn't remember what it was about. His eyes were wet; no doubt the dream had been sad. He missed her but somehow now the pain wasn't as debilitating as before. He realized he had to get on with his life. He knew that's what she'd want him to do.