by Cheree Alsop
The others crowded around me and I sent them all the same image. I felt embarrassed by the sudden attention, but glad they didn’t see me as an outcast. When each of them saw what I sent, their responses were the same. They dropped their hands and stared at me, a look of surprise and respect in their eyes.
“That’s amazing,” Nikki said.
“Really neat,” Taye agreed.
“We’ve got to get you in a girl’s locker room,” Brock said.
Jaze shoved his shoulder. “It doesn’t work like that,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You’d have to be there with him because it only seems to work on contact.”
“It was just a thought,” Brock replied, chagrined.
“He’s red,” Cassie’s small voice came from behind Jet. “Is that okay?”
“Definitely,” Jet replied. He knelt and pulled her to stand in front of him. She clung to his shirt, her little hands white. “Hold out your hand. It’s just Kaynan. He’s nice, remember?”
She held out her little fingers and I stuck out my nose. She felt my muzzle, then giggled when I licked her hand.
“He’s cool,” Alex exclaimed, leaving his dad’s side to put his face in my fur. His breath tickled the rough guard hairs and sent a rush of warmth through me at the trust of their parents.
“Shall we join him?” Taye asked.
Jet, Jaze, and Mouse phased quickly in the spare bedroom and came back into the living room. The two Alphas’ black coats made them look more menacing than Mouse’s gray pelt. Jet had a strange symbol that looked like a seven on his shoulder in white fur. He caught me staring at it and held my gaze until I looked away.
Taye and Grace returned a few minutes later. Taye looked beautiful with her pure white coat and blue-gray eyes, but Grace’s light gray fur and lithe body reminded me of our run from the laboratories. She walked with her shoulder next to Taye’s for guidance, her ears twitching back and forth as she blinked her sightless blue eyes. I wanted to protect her from everything, to keep her safe and sheltered; I settled for trotting to meet her and leaning against her to show her what I saw. She sat next to me and sighed, clearly enjoying being able to see again if only by proxy.
“Why don’t you guys go out and enjoy the night?” Mr. Davies invited. “If the children phase, we’ll call you back. Otherwise, Mrs. Carso, Nikki, and Brock have offered to keep them company while we go for a run. Have fun and we’ll catch up.” He gave Mrs. Carso a grateful smile.
Mrs. Davies opened the door and let us out, telling us to be safe and to stay away from the cows. Grace gave a snort of laughter that I echoed. Staying away from cows was certainly something I had never been told before. Moonlight spilled around us, putting to shame the puny lamp that stood near the Davies’ front porch. I took a deep breath of the night air and the scents of the country filled me with anticipation.
Jaze gave a bark of invitation and loped off through an alfalfa field with Mouse close behind. We kept pace with them but stayed behind. Grace’s paws fell in time with mine as though we had run shoulder to shoulder our whole lives. It felt so natural to have her next to me, and I felt a pang of longing for Renee and the way we completed each other. We had been together since our first class in high school; we knew each other’s secrets, hopes, dreams, and fears, and we had planned to enroll in the same college next year so that we could major together.
Thoughts of Renee’s blond hair and sparkling blue eyes made my heart clench and my pace slowed. Grace slowed with me until we were walking through long grass that reached almost to our shoulders and waved gently in the midnight breeze. Her expression matched the ache in my heart and I wondered if she was thinking about Gabe.
I climbed a small rise and we sat and watched the land below come alive with the moonlight. A brook behind us danced with laugher as the water made its way over rocks and under bridges. An owl asked its ageless question from a tree to our right, while mice scurried through the underbrush in the hopes of staying out of its sight. A fox barked and birds, startled from sleep, rose into the air crying their outrage until they disappeared into a new stand of trees.
The breeze tickled my fur; I closed my eyes to fully feel the soft touch of moonlight along my back and shoulders. I took a deep breath and held it, then let it out slowly. Everything felt so new, so fresh and alive. Smells, my vision, and sounds were crisp and crystal clear, as though I had been walking around with blinders until the accident and never knew it.
It felt as though the moonlight soaked through my skin and muscles. The scent of the clean water in the brook mixed with the green reeds that pulled at the breeze and made it whistle. I glanced at Grace and the ache of Renee’s absence faded when I saw Grace’s eyes close and face turn to the moonlight as though she felt it as deeply as I did. She opened her eyes and leaned back against me. I rose to continue our run when a howl sounded.
My ears pricked at the joy and welcome of the sound. A lighter voice joined it, and then two high-pitched voices echoed the first. Grace gave a short yip of answer and we loped down the hill at top speed. It amazed me how effortless it was for us to run together now, how seamless my sight and Grace’s pace matched. She truly lived up to her name in wolf form.
Taye met us near the house, her eyes bright and tail wagging. She led us to the back field where two Alphas, Jet and Mr. Davies, rolled around with a small dark gray cub and a small light gray one. Mrs. Davies, now an elegant white wolf, looked on proudly from the edge of the field. We joined them and I could practically feel Grace’s excitement radiating from her. Her paws danced as she sat and I could feel her longing to join the twins in play.
Jaze and Mouse stopped near us and the twins bounced over with all the enthusiasm of twenty puppies. They tackled Grace, then pounced on me, no longer afraid of my red fur and eyes. I nipped softly at their paws and they attacked with mock growls of anger and tiny, needle-sharp teeth. Jet bounced in, acting like a puppy himself, and saved me from his young siblings.
We played tag and raced through the fields until the early hours of the morning stole away the power of the moon. I felt the need to be a wolf fade until we stayed in our wolf forms out of choice. I was exhausted by the time we filed into the house, but my heart still ran in the fields with Cassie and Alex chasing me, and my soul soared with the freedom of the wolf.
I led Grace to the room and waited courteously while she and Taye phased and changed into their clothes. It was my turn to phase after them, but a reluctance to take on my human form again ran so sharply through my body that it was hard to push away the paws and the simplified animal thoughts and take on my now-gangly feeling form and never-ending guilt. I sighed and pulled on my clothes, tying shoes over feet that yearned for long grass and soft earth.
“Newly phased cubs have to be the cutest things in the world,” Taye was exclaiming when I came into the room.
“They’re amazing,” Grace agreed.
Mrs. Davies gave them both a warm smile. “Thank you. We’re honored that you were here for it.”
Mrs. Carso came from the kitchen carrying a plate of cookies. Brock and Nikki followed close behind with cups of milk. “Eat up,” Mrs. Carso invited, offering a cookie to me before setting the plate on the coffee table. “Phasing always makes wolves hungry.”
I couldn’t argue against the answering pangs in my stomach, and made sure Grace had a cup and a cookie before devouring my own.
Jet entered the room in his human form followed a few minutes later by Jaze and then Mouse. “They’re perfect,” Jet said quietly.
Mr. Davies nodded. “I couldn’t be prouder of all of my children.” He smiled at Jet and the werewolf dropped his eyes, his cheeks touched with red.
Mrs. Davies handed him a cookie and he took it without saying anything. Taye hooked her arm in his. “Where’s Cassie and Alex?” she asked.
“Fast asleep,” Mr. Davies replied with a laugh. “They were pretty worn out.”
The Davies exchanged fond looks and I couldn’t help but wonder how they ma
de being werewolves look so easy. The acceptance, understanding, and the way they embraced being a family of werewolves felt so natural. I wondered if it would ever feel the same way for me. My heart throbbed at the thought of my family, of Renee, and of my sister.
Chapter 12
Jaze drove us home with the sunrise. The Davies had invited everyone to stay longer, but Mrs. Carso felt it would be better to give them their house back. It felt good to return to Jaze’s. We walked through the door exhausted but happy.
Mrs. Carso said she would call everyone in sick for the day at school to give them some rest, then bid everyone a goodnight and left to her room. Jaze walked Nikki home, then went to bed himself. Taye gave Jet a light kiss on the cheek, then excused both she and Grace. Grace accepted gladly, her expression as tired and worn as I felt. I wanted to go to bed, but my mind was still racing from the night. I settled on the couch, and after a minute, Jet relaxed from his regular position leaning by the door to take the armchair across from me.
I glanced at him. “You trust me?” I asked, surprised.
He threw me an unreadable look. “I don’t get you, but you’re not an Alpha, so I don’t have to fight the urge to kill you.”
I tipped my head back on the couch, unsettled by his answer. He gave a slight sigh. “Sorry. Can’t help myself sometimes.”
I rubbed my forehead. “You don’t have to apologize. My past isn’t exactly spotless.” Something occurred to me and I turned to look at him. “I noticed your mom called you Will, but everyone else calls you Jet.”
“Is that a question?” he asked, but his tone was reluctant as though he was stalling instead of answering what I implied. At my nod, his eyes shifted to the front door. He opened and closed his hands slowly. “I was kidnapped when I was little and grew up in a fighting ring. I didn’t even know my name was Will until I found my family again a few months ago.” He frowned at the door, his eyes distant. “The killer inside me only knows the name Jet. Until I can get past the urge to destroy everything in my life, I can’t accept the name Will even though I want to.” He met my eyes, daring me to judge him for his past and what he was.
I met his gaze calmly though my heart pounded with the trust he gave me. “I like Jet. It’s a good name.”
Darkness swept through his eyes. “Will’s better.”
I shrugged. “Perhaps someday, but I don’t see anything wrong with Jet.”
He held my eyes for a moment, his own narrow. Then a shadow of a smile touched his lips and he nodded. He rose from the chair. “You’re good to have around.”
“Why? Because people come out of nowhere to attack me, putting everyone else in danger?” The self-loathing in my tone surprised me, not that I felt it, but that I let it show.
Jet gave a shrug similar to mine. “I like a good reason to fight, it calms me down.” His dark blue eyes lightened. “But it’s the way you help Grace. There’s something special about her, like Taye. She’s innocent and doesn’t deserve what was done to her.”
“I can’t let them find her,” I replied.
He nodded. “Everyone here will fight to keep both of you safe.”
I sighed. “I just wish us being here didn't put everyone else in danger.”
He gave another small smile, his eyes dark. “Being a werewolf is dangerous.”
***
“I think you bought more than enough,” Nikki laughed, looking through the grocery bags of black hair dye.
“I wanted to be sure,” Mrs. Carso said with an answering chuckle. “I’ve never dyed a wolf before.”
“Me either,” Taye agreed. She pulled on a pair of plastic gloves and began sorting the contents of each box.
Grace touched my shoulder. “Better go phase. We have the appointment at Mr. Davies’ vet’s this afternoon and who knows how long this’ll take.”
Jaze laughed at the look of dread on my face. “Don’t worry,” he said, his expression sympathetic. “It’ll go away tonight after you phase back.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I said, eying Mrs. Carso, Nikki, Taye, and Grace. “I’m not sure about giving so many girls free range over me.”
Everyone laughed and Jaze grinned. “I wouldn’t be so sure either, but you don’t have much of a choice.”
“Yeah,” Brock echoed. “Or you could leave it to us.”
I looked at the partially eaten sandwich in his hand made up of as many meats and cheeses one could possibly cram between two pieces of bread, combined with pickles, olives, chips, and cheese whiz, and shook my head. “I’ll take my chances with the girls.”
“Lucky us,” Nikki replied with a dramatic eye roll and the girls laughed again.
“Oh, go phase,” Grace said, pushing me toward the stairs.
I sighed and obeyed. I phased in Taye’s old room that we had taken over and stalked back down the stairs.
“At least as a wolf you can’t protest,” Taye said with a teasing wink when I padded back into the kitchen. It was my turn to roll my eyes and the girls laughed.
“We’ll leave you to your fate,” Jaze said. Brock, Mouse, and Jet followed him from the room.
“You boys should go to school if you’re not planning to help out,” Mrs. Carso called after them.
Jaze poked his head back through the door. “We’re investigating the labs and looking for Grace’s pack with Roger. It’s more important than school.” He gave her a winning smile and disappeared back through the door.
Mrs. Carso turned to the girls with a sigh and a resigned shake of her head. “Boys.”
“Get over here, Kaynan. You’re not getting away that easily,” Nikki said.
I returned slowly through the door and sat down on the floor in front of them. Mrs. Carso gave me a stern look over, then eyed the back of the hair dye box. “We might need more dye,” she said after a moment. Nikki, Taye, and Grace broke into laughter.
***
“You’re driving too fast,” Colleen said from the passenger seat. My mind raced, anticipating something horrible, but I couldn’t change anything.
“We’re fine,” I replied. My voice slurred and Colleen’s friend Debra giggled in the back seat. I had heard that giggle before, I was sure of it, but I couldn’t fight through the fog.
I stepped on the gas to emphasize that I was in control, when in fact headlights and reflectors blurred together on the freeway until they looked like solid lines and I couldn’t tell which was which.
“You’re going to get pulled over,” Colleen said, a touch of panic to her voice as I swerved toward what I guessed to be the reflectors.
“Calm down,” I told my sister as if I had said it a hundred times. “I promised Dad we’d be home before midnight and I’m gonna keep my promise.” I squinted at the glaring lights and felt patterned thuds under the tires. A warning signal went off in the back of my head. I ignored it and pressed the gas harder, intent on a set of bright lights heading toward us.
“Kaynan, look out!” Colleen shouted. Debra screamed.
The lights towered above us a second before the semi slammed into the front of the car. Our vehicle rolled and glass shattered close to my head. The girls kept screaming and I locked eyes for one brief second with Colleen. Her soft blue eyes filled with tears, then the car started to flip.
Each roll and then the jarring force of another vehicle hitting the car wracked my body with the knowledge that I had done this to us. I flew through the windshield and landed on the grass on my back. The stars winked down at me with condemnation for what I had done. Moonlight covered my body, promising retaliation for my actions.
I wiped the blood out of my eyes and rolled onto my knees, then stared at the burning car. The thought of Colleen inside spurred me to action. I dove through the asphalt and pounded on the passenger window. My hands burned, but I couldn’t feel them past the panic that flooded adrenaline through my veins. I grabbed a rock and drove it through the glass.
“Colleen!” I yelled. I was responsible. I had been driving
despite the alcohol Greg and I had consumed before I picked her up from the party. Sobriety rushed through me in a wave as I peered through the smoke and yelled, “Colleen, take my hand!”
I pushed through the window and heat from the fire felt like it was melting the skin from my face. I shouted, “Colleen! Talk to me, Colleen!”
I reached her body and my heart leaped with joy that I knew deep down was in vain. Blood covered my fingers and a yell tore from my throat at the fire that burned along the tops of the seats above us, consuming the fabric like it would soon consume our bodies.
Colleen’s face turned toward me. Her beautiful blue eyes, the color of the summer sky at noon, met mine and filled with tears of pain and fear that I had caused. She said my name and my heart clenched at the fact that her tone was not one of condemnation or anger, but of pain and love.
“I’m here Colleen. You’ll be okay. I’ll get you out of here, I promise,” I said, though my heart shattered with the knowledge that neither of us would get out of there alive.
Hands grabbed my legs and began to pull me back out of the window. “No!” I screamed. “I can’t leave her!” I kicked out, but they wouldn’t let go. The broken window cut at my stomach. “I won’t leave her!”
I kicked free of their hands and grabbed onto her. Her eyes closed and breathing stopped, but I wouldn’t let go. I sucked in the smoke, willing myself to die of asphyxiation instead of live without my sister. Memories of the old health classes we had taken together rushed to my mind and I breathed into her mouth, willing her to take what good there was left of the air. Her face was pale, ashen, and without the life and spark that made her who she was.
“No!” I yelled with my final breath. I glared at the flames that writhed above us and curled my body over Colleen’s to shield her from the fire. Smoke filled my lungs and I coughed. Each breath was empty of air and full of searing smoke. I closed my eyes and warm tears ran down to Colleen’s face.