—
I’ve never been in love before. Never believed in it after growing up the way I did. Wesley claims he loves me—and that turned out for me the same way it did for my mother. Only I didn’t open my heart the way she did. I watched her fade a little each year. The longer my father stayed away, the more withdrawn she grew. Until one day she decided to stay in bed. That turned into weeks, then months. She didn’t die from pneumonia, she simply gave up on life.
I won’t.
I can’t.
Pride is one of the seven deadly sins. Yet for me, it’s a survival instinct. Do I possess the capacity to care deeply? Yes. To get intimate with someone? Yes. But not enough to change who and what I am. Joshua didn’t hold anything back today. And I believe he thinks he’s in love with me. Orgasms have a way of convoluting everything, especially the ones he gives me. I hug my middle, then rock back and forth on my bed. It’s so quiet. My roommate is in Costa Rica until summer. And I never rented the other bedroom after Marisela moved out.
That’s what I need, a serious fix of the Gonzalez sisters. Both found what most girls can only dream about: men who worship the ground they walk on. Husbands who don’t even bat an eyelash if a hot girl walks by. I ended up with an oversexed jock who thinks every girl is fair game. No means yes and yes means no to Wesley. Not that I blame him. He’s a former college football star, rich, and good-looking. Women chase him and he chases back.
I feel terrible for not inviting Joshua inside. He pulled into the driveway and I jumped out, slamming the car door shut before he had a chance to say anything. Once I came inside, I peeked out the window. He sat in the driveway for fifteen minutes, maybe hoping I’d change my mind.
I check Facebook on my iPhone. There are a dozen messages from my friends in Paris. I didn’t even bother letting them know I made it home safely. And Robyn has posted several pictures of her pregnant profile on my home page. I smile. She’s too pretty. I message everyone, but I’m brief. Then I drop my phone on the bed. I hate technology sometimes; everybody knows everyone’s personal business. I don’t know if it’s a curse or a blessing. My message alert sounds and I pick up my cell. A new friend request from Joshua. I roll my eyes, but accept. That makes three thousand friends now. He messages me.
What’s going on, Macey?
Need some time to think.
Why?
Do you always harass the women you sleep with?
No, just you.
Taking a week off.
No.
Already done.
He doesn’t respond and I don’t pursue it. I’m throwing my big post–Super Bowl party next weekend; two hundred people attended last year. That’s where I’ll focus all my energy, making this party the best ever. I search my contacts list and find the caterer I use. I dial and Renee answers. We discuss the menu for twenty minutes—she gives me a preliminary quote of three thousand dollars. The price doesn’t faze me; it includes a team of uniformed servers. Then I dial Robyn.
“I can’t believe you waited this long to call me,” she complains right away.
“Sorry—there’s so much going on.”
“I’m coming over.”
“Now?” I ask.
“Now,” she confirms.
Before I can discourage her, she disconnects. Great. I hop off the bed and rush to my bathroom. I look like shit. My eyes are puffy and red and I’m pale. I shrug. Hopefully another hot shower and a sexy dress will cover up the pain I feel.
Chapter 10
“John Legend?” Robyn asks as she steps inside my house. “ ‘All of Me’?” She places her hand on her hip and I know she knows.
I shrug innocently. “I’m in a mellow mood.”
She snorts. “My husband is best friends with Wesley,” she reminds me.
Of course I’m horrified that my ex got to tell his side of the story first. “Good.” I play it too cool. “Then you already know what a lying, cheating prick he is.”
“Yes,” she answers quietly, placing her bag on the couch. “He behaved like a caveman and wants to make amends.”
I fling my hand up, angry she’s trying to get us back together. “No chance.”
“Why?”
“He cheated, Robyn. Slept with some tramp he met while I was away.” I glare at her. “Whose side are you on, anyway?” This isn’t the same girl I knew a year ago. She’s in love with the perfect man. “If Garrick had an affair, would you forgive him?”
“I don’t know. I’d at least give him a chance to explain before I cut him out of my life.”
“Well, I’m fucking happy for you,” I snap. “That’s not how I roll, girlfriend.”
She sighs, then plops down on the end of the sofa. “We’re not taking his side, Macey. In fact, Garrick is beyond angry, trust me.”
“What else did Wesley tell you?”
“That he’s had a change of heart.”
I arch a brow. “Really?”
“He’s acknowledged how foolish and impractical he’s been, letting his parents interfere with his feelings for you.”
I hold my hand up, stopping the conversation dead in its tracks. “Come with me.”
She follows me upstairs to my office. I open the door and head directly to my desk. I fumble in a drawer and pull out a bank statement. “This should put an end to any thoughts you have about playing Dr. Drew for Wesley and me.”
She studies the document, then looks at me. “I didn’t know.”
“No,” I confirm. “You didn’t.”
“What are you trying to say? He changed his mind after he found out about your financial independence?”
“Exactly.” She hands me the paper and I stash it in the desk. “We’re history. Sorry I yelled.” Tears bubble in the corners of my eyes again. I palm them away, then open my arms. “Look at you, beautiful. Boy or girl?”
We embrace. Then she pulls back a little, her face glowing with unadulterated joy. “Boy.”
I rub her tummy like she’s a Buddha statue. “Names?”
“Jesse Harmon and Noah Patrick are my top picks.”
“I love both.”
We head to the kitchen and I make some herbal tea. “How’s the blood pressure?”
“Stabilized, but I still take long naps every afternoon.”
“And Marisela?”
“Pregnant.”
We both giggle. How often do sisters get knocked up at the same time? “Don’t look at me like that—there’s no hat trick. I’m not getting pregnant, too.”
“Well.” She shrugs. “A girl can dream.”
“There’s more…” I place our cups on the table, then sit across from her. “I met someone.”
“Joshua?” She gives me an appraising look, a sly smile creeping over her face.
I throw my hands up. “What the hell?”
“Hey.” She reaches for my hand. “Who do you think helped him upgrade the security system at the club? Garrick did. I tagged along one afternoon and met him. We sat in his office for a couple of hours while Garrick tested the system.”
“And?”
“Well, he seemed overly curious about you.”
I lean back in my chair, completely surprised. “I thought Darren filled him in on everyone.”
“Joshua had a short list of girls he wanted to know more about. You were at the top.”
Everyone’s a mind reader lately. I decide it’s time to face one of my fears—admitting I like him. “I slept with him,” I blurt. I shield my face with both hands, trying to avoid her stern look.
After a long pause in our conversation, I peek around my fingers. She crooks her eyebrows at me. “Rebound sex?” she asks.
“No,” I assure her. Anything but.
She inhales and I prepare for a butt chewing. But it never comes. Instead, she gives me one of those dazzling smiles that could disarm a large army. “Bring him over for dinner.”
—
What’s going on in that beautiful mind of hers? I’m done guessing where and
what she’s doing right now. The club is slow, which doesn’t help. I’ve already finished the liquor order for next week, mingled with the customers, helped Glenda wash dishes, shot three games of pool, and taken over the security monitoring for over an hour. I’m out of options. My shoulders jut upward in anger when I imagine her spending time with her ex. That’s not fair. She’s done nothing to make me suspicious.
I slip outside to call her.
“Macey?”
“Hi, Joshua.” She sounds tranquil.
“Feeling better?”
“Much,” she says. “How’s business?”
“Frustratingly slow.” I know she’ll read between the lines of that comment. “I need to know…”
“We can see each other.”
That gives me a reason to smile. “What changed your mind, baby?” Just as I’m about to say something else, I hear, “Joshua?” I spin around and, holy shit, my ex is standing by my car. “Macey,” I say. “Can I call you back?”
“Sure.” She hangs up.
I shove my phone in my front pocket and gape at Julia. “What are you doing here?” I walk toward her, a not-so-happy look on my face. “Thought we settled things on the phone the other night.”
“Hello to you, too,” she shoots back. “It’s not that simple.”
She’s unusually aggressive—something I’m not used to. In fact, now that I think about it, she’s changed over the last year so much, I’m not even sure there’s anything left of the girl I fell in love with years ago. She needs to leave. “Yes it is.”
“Who were you talking to?” she asks. “Thought I heard you say the name Macey.”
I squint at her; she’s always had ears like a hawk. “Nothing for you to worry about,” I say, losing patience. I’m not about to discuss my love life with her. “Go home, Julia.”
“Mother wants to see you.”
I chuckle at the casual reference, as if I’d still call her that. “Send my regards.” My bad feelings don’t extend to her parents, but they raised a certain kind of daughter—the type who throws temper tantrums until she gets what she wants. Of course I was pussy-whipped for so long, I didn’t see her numerous flaws until after she cheated on me. She turns her head and grimaces at my Porsche. “I thought you were going to sell that thing.”
My father drove his 1995 911 GT2 nearly every day. I resent her disapproval of something that means so much to me. “How’s that Prius?”
“Don’t be smug,” she says.
“Don’t be a bitch.” I can’t do this, not anymore. “I’m going inside.”
I open the door, only to have her slip under my arm. She freezes, taking in the sights and sounds.
“Good God, Joshua.” She’s staring at the main stage.
Desire is stripped down to her G-string—doing a handstand against the pole. “Former Olympian,” I joke.
She follows me to the bar. “Glenda,” I call. “This is Julia Henderson. Give her whatever she wants.”
Glenda smiles, then drops a cardboard coaster on the counter in front of her. “Name your poison.”
“Uh—” She’s tongue-tied.
“A Manhattan.” I turn to Julia, fully expecting a slap.
“That’s not what I drink,” she pouts.
“Seemed appropriate.” I’m determined to make her uncomfortable. “She’ll have a cherry vodka sour.”
After the drink is made, I escort Julia to my office. I sit behind my desk. “This can’t happen again.”
She explores the room, running her fingers over the familiar artwork that used to hang in my workspace in our apartment in New York. “What happened to us, Joshua?” She looks at me intently.
I scrub my face with both hands, loathing the need to explain. “Remember the phone call?”
“Come on,” she urges. “Let’s try to have a mature conversation.”
“All right.” I fold my hands. “After spending some time alone I think it’s safe to say we made a mistake. We have different ambitions—separate dreams. You’re interested in what the world can do for you. I approach it from a more symbiotic standpoint. Give and take.”
She clicks her tongue. “Since when did you become a great humanitarian?”
“Not what I said.” She takes her psychology degree a little too seriously. “You’re high maintenance, Julia. And I’ve simply outgrown it. I want a relationship with a woman who doesn’t need to be the center of attention all the time. Who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. And quite frankly, someone who cares about me.”
She sits on the sofa, staring at me. “Is that your way of telling me you’re back on the market?”
I sigh impatiently, ready to shed her like a dirty pair of socks. “Interpret it any way you wish.”
She takes a long sip of her drink, stretching her long legs out. “Is this really why your father spent a hundred thousand dollars on your education? So you could work here? Will this be the Camden legacy?”
During my years in New York I spent two weekends a month volunteering at the local soup kitchen. I developed friendships with several people who relied on the meals we served. Good people who didn’t have the opportunities my family provided me with. It gave me a different perspective on life, and an intolerance for snobbery—even from the beautiful woman I used to bang. “You’ve made your point. You disapprove of my lifestyle. Clark is a much safer bet, Julia. He’s everything I’m not.”
She scrunches her face. “How do you know?”
“Let’s just say I’ve done some research. Get married—have a half-dozen kids—a couple of affairs—and by the time you hit forty, you’ll end up on some gossip rag of a television show covering your high-profile divorce.”
“That’s the fate you envision for me?”
I shrug. “For you and a hundred other Texas debutantes whose daddies forgot to give them spankings when they desperately needed them.”
She empties her glass and slams it down on the nearest side table. “Bastard.”
I grin, satisfied I’ve made my point. “Maybe,” I say. “But I still have a clean conscience. What about you?” Her pupils are dilated.
Her hands fist at her sides. “There’s nothing I can do to regain your confidence? To get you to love me again?”
I rub my chin, pretending to think it over. “No.” She doesn’t need to know how many nights I got drunk or how many things I smashed. “Ready to go?” I stand.
“Almost…I had thought—well—what if we saw each other socially. Maybe if we…”
“Julia,” I say, shaking my head, thoroughly exasperated with her refusal to accept my rejection. “I’ll escort you outside.”
She heads to the door that opens into the club.
“No.” I unlock the emergency exit. “This way.”
Her Prius is parked a couple of spots over from my car. I offer my hand. “Take care of yourself, Julia. I really do wish you the best.”
She refuses to shake, and instead stands on the tips of her toes, then kisses me.
“Joshua?”
We both look up. Macey. She’s standing a few feet away, a smirk on her pretty face.
Chapter 11
Everything about Julia is Texas perfect. The poufy blond hair, her nails, collagen-injected lips, and those glorious Prada studded suede ankle-strap sandals. As for kissing Joshua…I cross my arms over my chest, dying to hear whatever excuse he’s going to give me.
“Macey.” He’s cool and collected. “This is Julia—she’s leaving.”
“Charmed.” I smile. “Whatever brought you to our neck of the woods?” I say with a southern drawl that could knock Scarlett O’Hara off her belle throne.
She eyes me with open hostility, then stares at Joshua again. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Get what you came for?” I already know she’s been duly rejected for the umpteenth time. I’m not the catty type, but sometimes it’s fun to play the part. After all, although Joshua and I haven’t made a formal commitment yet, I am interested in seeing hi
m again. And with my own ex sniffing around, I’m not in the mood to deal with his. Especially another cheater.
“Give me your keys.” Joshua holds his hand out. She grudgingly turns them over and he walks to the driver’s side of her car and opens it. “Get in,” he commands.
She tosses her head at me. “Don’t get too comfortable.”
I smile. Once she turns into traffic, I gaze at Joshua. He’s unusually quiet. Maybe afraid I think he did something wrong. He didn’t, I witnessed the whole thing. She kissed him. “Happy reunion?”
He grumbles something, then gives me a cynical look. “Mad?”
“Do I have a reason to be?”
“Not in the slightest.” He moves toward me.
“Unannounced visit?”
“She ambushed me in the parking lot when I was on the phone with you.” He opens up his arms. “I need a hug.”
I’m not accustomed to showing affection at work.
“Worried about your customers seeing you happy?”
“Maybe.”
“Trust me…” He throws me an impish smile. “It’ll make them fight over you.”
I can’t argue with his logic right now. And once I’m buried in his arms, the world around us melts away.
“Spend the night with me, Macey,” he whispers against my ear.
“Doing what?”
His fingers slowly skate across my back. “A little of this.” He nips my neck.
Instant chills. “I’m not convinced…”
“No?” His eyes sink into me. He takes both of my wrists in one hand, raising my arms above my head, then pushes his tongue into my mouth. I’m quickly shoved back, until my body hits the wall of the building. He lets go and I dig my way under his shirt, feeling his hot skin, running my fingers up his washboard abs. “Change your mind?”
A car pulls into the parking lot, its bright headlights blinding me for a second. I’m sure Joshua felt my body tense, because he shields me from view, pressing his hard frame against me, his groin grinding into my stomach. He’s fully erect and I’m instantly wet. Shocked and elated, embarrassed and fully aware of how easily my body and mind react to this man’s touch. Car doors slam and I cringe at the loud whistle.
Sin Page 7