“Uhhh—moving in. Remember?” Gary suddenly found a spot on the carpeting to be the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. “Would you believe this is the second time today I’ve walked in on someone having sex?”
“What? Today! I thought you were coming in a few weeks?” Valerie screeched from her position behind Greg.
“Yeah, well, Lucy and I got in to it pretty bad after I walked in on her bangin’ some dude this morning. Get this…she got pissed at me for interrupting. All hell broke loose and she went nuts. She started grabbing arm-fulls of my stuff and throwing it out the door. So, uh…surprise. Here I am.”
“You couldn’t have called or texted?” Greg loved his brother and all, but this…this was too much.
“About that, it seems that cellphones don’t work very well after getting pummeled with a hammer.” He held out a small plastic bag with what appeared to be cellphone dust and a broken microchip or two.
“All right. Go wait in the living room. We’ll be there in a minute.”
“Take your time.” Gary turned on his heel, heading out of the room. “By the way, I really hope you plan on bleaching the table before dinner.”
“Out! Now!” Greg yelled, this was not part of his fantasy scenario. After a calming breath or two…maybe ten, he glanced at Valerie and laughed at the image she presented.
“To be continued later?”
Valerie was horrified. No. Mortified at being caught in the act by her brother-in-law. She could add that to her shit-did-that-really-just-happen list.
“You know I’ll never be able to look at him again. Right?” Valerie grabbed Greg’s shirt, quickly covering herself. “Remind me again why you’re letting him stay here?”
“Val, honey, you know why. He’s my brother and as much of an ass as he is at times, I still love him. I’m not about to let him live on the streets.” Greg threw on his pants before walking over and taking Valerie in his arms. He gently pressed his lips to her forehead, giving her a light peck. “We’ll figure it out. I promise. And we’ll pick up where we left off tonight. That’s another promise you can count on.”
“Fine. Let’s get some clothes on and get this over with.”
A few minutes later they were dressed and ready to face Gary.
“I’m going to grab the plate of sandwiches I had ready for lunch and bring those in. I’ll throw together a sandwich for Gary. It sounds like he’s had one hell of a day and I’m sure he hasn’t eaten today.”
“Thanks, honey. You’re the best, you know that right?” Greg gave her a light, playful swat to her ass as she passed by.
“Yeah, you just remember that next week when Gary’s driving me insane and I’m bitching up a storm.”
“Be nice, honey.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Valerie made her way to the kitchen to gather their lunch. So much for our afternoon fun. She slammed the fridge door a little too hard, showing her frustration. With a tray of drinks and sandwiches in her hands, she headed for the living room, trying to keep the scowl off her face.
Greg waited for his wife to return before interrogating his brother. “So what happened? I thought you were staying with Lucy until the lease ran out?”
“That was the plan, and it probably would have stayed that way if there wasn’t a pink slip attached to my time card when I got to work today. I turned around and headed home and found Lucy in bed with some dude.”
Valerie gasped in surprise. “Talk about hitting the bad luck trifecta. You lost your job, your girl, and your apartment all in one day.”
“No shit, Sherlock. Don’t forget my phone. You saw what she did to it.”
Greg shook his head in disbelief. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another with Gary. Knowing there would be an elaborate excuse, he asked the inevitable. “Why did you lose your job?”
Gary shrugged his shoulders like he did every time he had to account for his actions. “Who knows? My boss had it out for me. I was always getting bitched at for every little thing.”
“Bosses generally don’t fire you unless they have a good reason.” Greg should have known he’d never get the truth. Gary always blamed someone else for everything that happened. He did it all through their childhood, and it appeared that he wasn’t going to change anytime soon.
“Look.” Gary paused, rubbing his forehead. “Can we talk about this later? I’ve had a hell of a day, my head is pounding, and I’m starving.”
Valerie looked to Greg and nodded her approval. Even she wasn’t about to nag Gary about finding a new job or looking for a place to live. At least not today. She’d give the guy a day or two before she started dropping hints and leaving well-placed reminders for him to see, aka the classifieds.
“Yeah. Take the day, get your head together and come up with a plan. Val made some lunch. Let’s eat up so I can get back to work.”
“Sounds good. Where are my nieces and nephews?” Gary grabbed a sandwich and can of soda.
“Chloe and Logan are at school, Dylan and Daphne are at daycare. I have to pick them up after lunch. They’ll be excited to see you.”
“I can’t wait to see them. It feels like it’s been forever. Lucy didn’t really like to visit. She said the kids gave her a headache, but I don’t think it had anything to do with the kids, more like she’s just a bitch. I don’t know why I didn’t see what was really going on sooner.” Disappointment blanketed his face, his body slouched as reality set in.
“Don’t blame yourself for Lucy. You’re right. She’s not a very nice person. Just stay away from girls like her. Trust me, you pull yourself together, hold on to a decent job for a while, get your own place…you’ll have the right type of girls lining up for a shot to go out with you. Ones without the emotional baggage that a 747 carries.” Valerie tried to lighten the mood by letting Gary know that he really wasn’t a bad person. He just needed a little bit of focus and maybe a dash of perspective.
“Gee, Val, thanks. I think. I know you mean well, but you’re making me sound like an old rundown fixer upper. Buy at your own risk! He’s decent but he’s got a cracked foundation, leaky pipes, and needs a new roof.” Gary joked at his own misfortune.
“Uh…I didn’t say anything about leaky pipes and really, Gary, I think you should talk to your doctor about that. Could be from sleeping with all the tramps.” Valerie winked.
“Hardee-har-har. We’ve got a smartass in the house today.”
Greg laughed at Val’s quick wit. She had a razor sharp tongue and had no fear of using it. She would definitely put and keep Gary in his place when needed.
“Seriously, dude. But the one good thing you do have going for you is you have your brother’s good looks.” Valerie patted her husband’s thigh, trying not to think about their interrupted play time. A deep sigh escaped as the images flashed through her mind.
“You do know I’m the older one, right? He’s got my good looks.”
Greg laughed at his brother’s comment. “Here we go again. Yes, we know you’re forty-seven seconds older than me. Not even a full minute.”
“Whatevvess, I’m still older.”
The age thing was an ongoing joke, as with any twins. Greg was sure Dylan and Daphne would do the same thing when they were old enough to fight about it.
“Well as much fun as this afternoon started out as, I need to get back to work.” Greg rose and helped Valerie gather up the mess from lunch.
“I need to go pick up the twins. Oh, Gary, when I have my weekly get together with my girls, you need to find something to do. When we get together for coffee, this place becomes a man free zone. Nothing with a penis is allowed to remain in the house. I’d say sorry, but I’m not. I’m just giving you a heads up because sometimes they come here.”
“Seriously? I can’t stay and flirt with some of the ladies? There’s bound to be a few hotties, right? I’m sure one of them needs some lovin’. Maybe a couple of hot mommas. Besides, I’m single now. What’s the big deal?”
Valerie considered smacking
the bejesus out of him. She probably would have if Greg didn’t frown upon violence. Well, that and the whole illegal-jail thing. Prison orange wouldn’t match her hair or her complexion. “How ‘bout no? Does that work for you? Besides, they’re all married, that’s the last thing you need.”
Always the one for theatrics, Gary pretended to pout at not being allowed to join the girl’s club. “Fine. Just don’t serve them coffee at the table until you bleach it. Twice! I’ve seen what you serve your husband for lunch on that thing.”
A full-body blush covered Valerie in an instant. “Ass!” She promptly lobbed a half-full water bottle at his head, then spun on her heal and walked away.
As the weeks passed, so did Valerie’s patience with her brother-in-law. It’s not that she didn’t like him. She did. She just didn’t want to live with him. A happy camper she was not.
She was in mourning for her afternoon sexcapades with her husband. They had quickly become a thing of the past. Their evening mommy-and-daddy-time was also suffering due to their house guest. It was awkward at best when the headboard started to bang against the wall, considering the fact that Gary was sleeping on the other side of that very same wall. They had already been busted once by him, she had no desire to go there again.
Something had to give soon before Valerie lost her mind. It wasn’t like her and Greg to go days, let alone weeks without sex. She needed to come up with a solution, and fast. Gary needed to find a job at the very minimum. At least then she and Greg could resume their afternoon trysts.
Her morning was rushed, she had to drop Dylan and Daphne off at daycare as soon as Chloe and Logan got on the bus. She needed to make a quick trip to the local grocery store to pick up the supplies for breakfast. This would require a mad dash home and get breakfast started before her friends showed up.
“You’re still here?” Valerie asked as she rushed into the house, dropping grocery bags on the counter.
“I really don’t have anywhere else to go right now. This has pretty much been my morning routine. You know with the job loss and all.” Gary sipped his coffee as he looked over the classifieds.
“Luckily, there’s plenty of yardwork that needs to be done. That should keep you nice and busy for an hour or two.” If he thinks he’s just going to lounge around while he’s here, he’s got another thing coming.
She expected to hear him complain about the chore she just assigned. Lord knows she would have. He surprised her with his answer when he glanced up from the paper.
“Fine. Is there gas for the mower and trimmer?” Gary grumbled at the prospect of spending his morning on yardwork.
“Yep. Everything is in the garage. Do not…I repeat, do not run over my flowers, shrubs, or rosebushes unless you want me to beat you senseless.” She aimed for her best scowling mom look, her index finger wagging back and forth.
“Do I look like my brother? Just for the record, I’m quite capable of operating a mower and trimmer without butchering a lawn.”
“Silly question by the way. Of course you look like him, you’re twins. Please don’t act like him when it comes to yardwork.”
“Relax, woman. I’ve got it under control. You’ll see. Besides, I’m more than experienced. I can’t even begin to count how many landscaping companies I’ve worked for over the years.”
“Perfect, now scram. I’ve got a ton of stuff to do before they get here.” Valerie made a shooing motion with her hands.
“Fine, but save me some of whatever you are making.”
“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try.”
Valerie scrambled to get everything unpacked and put away. She quickly chopped up the pecans she needed for her recipe and mixed up the dip for the French toast. Ahhh quick and easy. Just the way I like it.
The front door opened just as she poured herself a fresh cup of coffee. “I’m in the kitchen, come on back.”
“Hey, did you get gardener?” Jamie asked as she made her way to the kitchen.
“No. That’s Greg’s brother,” Valerie replied.
“I thought for a minute it was Greg but quickly realized it couldn’t be him. Weird,” Jamie explained as she grabbed a cup from the counter, filling it to the brim.
“I put him to work today. I didn’t want him in here while you all are here. I told him it was a dick free zone so he needed to find something to do. When he said he had nothing to do, I gave him something that will keep him out of our hair.”
Before she knew it, all of her bffs filled her cozy kitchen. She never tired of their weekly events. It was something she looked forward to each and every week without fail. Every woman needs a little girl time to relax and kick back with their besties.
“So, what’s new this week on Éveiller Drive?” Laura asked after they were all seated with their coffee and maple pecan French toast.
“I’m happy to report Jeff and I finally talked a few things over last week. I know it’s only been a week, but I’m starting to see a few improvements with the kids already. It’s been kinda’ nice.” Ashley was the first to answer.
“That’s great to hear,” Laura responded.
“What happened to make such a big difference in one week?” Ava asked between bites. “This is really good by the way.”
“Thanks,” Valerie shot a quick reply. “You want the recipe?”
“Uhh, do you not see me scarfing it down like I haven’t eaten in a week?” Ava joked.
When Ava and Valerie finished, Ashley replied, “Jeff walked in on Emily having quite the little party after school. I guess he found her making out with one of the boys from a few blocks over. Needless to say, he was livid.”
“Oh shit.” Jamie’s head popped up from her plate.
“Right!” Ashley continued, “Anyway, long story short, it was enough to make Jeff realize things couldn’t keep going the way they were. He had to be the one to take action with the kids. Besides, Laura was right. It’s not my place to punish them, that’s on him. If I tried to punish them, they’d only end up resenting me for it. That’s the last thing I need right now.”
“Glad I could help, kiddo.” Laura smiled at Ashley, thankful she was able to help with her own life experiences.
“What did he say when he walked in on that?” Kara asked.
“From what he told me, he flipped the fuck out. Instead of grounding her, he took most of her cellphone privileges away. She has no texting or internet now and she can only call us, her mom, or her grandma. It’s so hard not to laugh when she picks up her phone and sighs. I almost feel bad for her.” Ashley paused to take a sip of her coffee. “He also told her she had to wait another month to get her driver’s permit instead of right on her sixteenth birthday. I’m not sure which punishment is hitting her the hardest. It’s definitely made her think twice about mouthing off.”
“Way to go dad. That’s one way of getting a teen’s attention. Most kids would die if you took away their texting. Hmmm. I’m going to file that away for future use.” Ava planned to use that punishment should she ever need it.
“Honestly, I’m just glad things have calmed down. The house is almost peaceful these days. I’m beginning to breathe a bit easier.” Ashley smiled. “The tension between everyone has gone down a lot, and we’re actually going to do a family outing this week. It should be fun. I know I’m looking forward to it.”
“How’s it going with Greg’s brother being here?” Laura asked.
“Ugh. He’s a nice guy and all.” Valerie started then paused, carefully considering how to describe Gary. “He’s a sweetheart just like Greg, but really…I don’t want to say lazy. Let’s just say he’s not a go getter like Greg. It’s more like he’s waiting for something, waiting for the right girl, the right job instead of going and finding them. Does that make sense? The real problem that I have, though, is that Greg didn’t even ask my opinion about the whole situation. Gary called and Greg promised. I realize he had nowhere else to go and would have ended up here anyway. It would have been nice had Greg ask
ed my opinion on the matter or even consulted me rather than just saying, ‘by the way Gary’s moving in’.”
“Yikes. I’d be pissed, too!” Laura responded. “It’s more of a common courtesy than anything else. Something that all marriages need.”
Ava added her two cents to the mix. “Oh, he should have talked to you first. There’s no doubt about that. And for someone in their early twenties, Gary’s behavior makes perfect sense. But for someone in their mid-thirties, they just need to grow up and get their ass in gear.”
“That’s exactly it. I mean he’s great with the kids. They freaking adore their Uncle Garbear. Hell, I love him and we joke around all the time. It’s a comfortable relationship, but I’m afraid it’s going to take a turn for the worse if he doesn’t get on his feet soon. We’re going to resent him being here as much as he’s going to resent being here. Plus, he’s killing our sex life.” Valerie pressed her head to the table. “I’m dying here.”
“Oh no, not the sex life,” Jamie joked.
Valerie shot back up, enraged for herself. “I know right! I’m probably the only one on the block not getting her brains banged out these days and it’s flippin’ killing me.” Exasperated, Valerie ran her fingers through her hair. Her sexual frustration level was at an all-time high and it was beginning to show.
“So what’s the big deal? Just lock your door and have at it. It’s not like you guys are teenagers or something. Clearly Gary knows that the two of you have sex. I mean, you have four kids and all. I don’t think any of us ever considered Immaculate Conception as the reason for your children,” Kara added.
“It’s not that simple. I wish it was, but Gary’s staying in the bedroom next to ours, and he’s already busted us once. That whole fiasco was embarrassing enough. It took me a week before I could even look him in the eye again,” Valerie huffed.
“How bad could it have been?” Ashley asked.
“He literally walked right in on us having wild monkey sex on the table. Needless to say, I think Greg and I are a little gun shy about getting caught by his brother again, especially when he’d likely hear the headboard banging against the wall.”
Éveiller Drive Complete Boxed Set Page 17