by Aven Ellis
“Holy Cannoli, will you stop yelling, Louis? I’m coming!” Nonna yells before turning back to us. “Go do your grocery shopping, but JoJo, do something fun with this boy later, will you please? Although I don’t have to tell you what I think you should do for fun with your niiiiiccccccccccce boy. And it’s not board games.”
Then she winks at us.
“Nonna!” I gasp, mortified.
“Ciao!” She grins mischievously. Then she disconnects the call.
“Oh, God,” I groan, dropping my phone in my lap and covering my face with my hands. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry? For what?”
I peek at him through my fingers. He doesn’t want to run for the hills after Nonna’s last comment?
Of course, it would be rude to dump me at the Whole Foods in Cap Hill. Cade’s a nice guy. He’ll at least let me get some groceries before dumping me at the apartment building.
Cade pries my fingers open so he can see my face.
“Your family is great,” he declares, his eyes shining brightly. I lower my hands and stare back at him. “I love Nonna. She just says whatever the hell she thinks. That’s awesome.”
“What? No, it’s not! Her mental filter broke after she turned sixty! Did you honestly like that cucumber remark?” I blurt out.
“Heck, yes, that was hilarious.”
“Right.”
“Truth.”
A hint of a smile plays on his full lips, and I know this whole episode hasn’t fazed him.
“What about my dad telling you not to hit Landy Holder?”
Cade grins wickedly at me. “I’m afraid I can’t promise that one. I always piss him off when we play each other, and we end up going at it. But you can tell your Dad I think Landy is a great guy off the ice. I got to know him this summer at a training camp sponsored by the sports drink we both do promos for.”
Okay. He loves Nonna and is cool with my dad, but what about the worst of it?
“And my over-dramatic, over-emotional mother who thinks I’ll never leave Denver because of you?”
Cade reaches for my hand.
“She misses you. I imagine she thought you’d go to Denver, eventually come back, get married, and buy a house two doors down like your brother so she’d see you every day. Your leaving must have been hard for her. The fact that you are starting to date in Denver makes it all the more real for her, that’s all.”
Once again, I’m struck by how much Cade truly listens to what I say and how perceptive he is. The fact that none of this nonsense right now bothers him and he can look past all the crazy and see me, tells me once again what a good man he is.
“I think you’re the special one,” I say, squeezing his hand in mine.
Cade leans forward and kisses me, a slow, sweet kiss that sends happiness through me.
He breaks the kiss. “Okay. I can’t kiss you anymore or I won’t want to go shopping. I will want to take you home and make out with you, and then you’ll starve to death and your family will hate me.”
“Hmmm, I see why you understand my over-dramatic mother so well.”
Cade grins at me. “The sooner we shop, the sooner I can take you home. So we can not play board games.”
“While I’m in favor of not playing board games with you,” I say, flirting with him, “you aren’t getting out of your produce lesson so easily. But we’re skipping cucumbers.”
Cade bursts out laughing, and I join him.
As we get out of the SUV and walk toward the store, I know I’ve found something special with Cade.
I glance up at him, looking so masculine in his baseball hat, facial scruff, and plaid shirt, and know every time I’m with him, I give him more of my heart.
There’s no one else I want to give it to.
The thought gives me pause.
No matter how amazing Cade is, I still need to proceed with caution. Besides Cade has made it clear he still wants to move slowly, too. I just pray his feelings, however hard he tries to slow them down, are growing in the same way.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Today’s Purpose and Passion Statement:
Today I will meet with Tiffany with the purpose of getting feedback on my recipe ideas. This is a huge opportunity to learn from her and I’m going to take full advantage of it. I’m going to ask questions and seek her advice for following my career passions while I have this golden opportunity in front of me. I’m also going to give a full report to Skye regarding any changes and make sure she’s comfortable with those, too.
***
I repeat my purpose and passion statement in my head as I sit down at my desk first thing on Wednesday morning. Today is going to be a great day.
I can already tell.
I’m tired from lack of sleep, but staying up late to make out with Cade was more than worth it. I didn’t want him to go home last night. We’ve just discovered each other, but after spending every day with him since Sunday, I already find myself missing him when he’s not around.
How can I want to be with him all the time so soon?
Because it’s right, my heart whispers.
My face flushes with happiness. It is right. I’m so convinced of that, more than ever after our date yesterday. The way we laughed and talked. How he survived my family and oh, the way he caressed me as his lips found mine . . .
I’m letting myself fall.
I think about how I was so sure I was going to act differently this time around. That going slowly was what I needed to do. But now I’m not so sure.
I should have gone slower with Marco. I should have used every yellow light to slow down and get to know him better before falling in love with him.
But maybe I don’t need that with Cade.
He’s not Marco.
Maybe I can trust him with all of my heart.
Beep!
I glance at my computer screen and see a new email from Angelique in my inbox. I swear she must have been keeping watch for me so she could send me an email as soon as I sat down. I steel myself and click on it:
From: Angelique.Whitmire-Hox@bakeit!magazine.com
To: Josephine.Rossi@bakeit!magazine.com
Date: September 6
Subject: Assignment
Josephine. While I realize you are working with Tiffany on the Skye Reeve cupcake project, you will continue to receive your regular workload from me. You completed your sugar assignment in regards to the chocolate chip cookies yesterday, however, I feel it would be best to replicate the entire project again to ensure your results are indeed accurate because I question the results you achieved. I have also assigned you to do the next part of the cookie test, which is to test various chocolate chips and record the results.
Angelique
By the time I’m finished reading, I’m fuming. There was nothing suspect about my results with the sugar testing yesterday. She’s making me replicate it because she’s pissed. Why didn’t Greg Martin get the chocolate chip assignment? Usually we split the ingredient testing and recipe testing assignments. I can see this will be my punishment. I’ll get every ingredient trial this week while Greg gets all the new recipes to test.
Fine. I can play her game. I can test chocolate chips with a smile on my face to spite her crumble and foam-loving self.
I gather up my stuff and head down the hall to Angelique’s office. I rap on the door, and she looks up from her laptop.
“I received my assignments. I’ll get started on the sugar comparison after I meet with Tiffany,” I say.
Angelique smiles at me. “I’m glad to hear that because your results were so disappointing. I knew you had errors the second I read them.”
“Oh, I don’t think they were wrong, but I’m glad to do it again to prove I’ll secure the same result,” I say cheerfully.
Ha-ha! Angelique’s nostrils flare telling me she’s pissed, but she quickly recovers and clears her throat.
“Don’t be overconfident, Josephine.”
“I don’t think bel
ieving that your proven, recorded result is correct is being overconfident, Angelique.”
Angelique narrows her eyes and stares me down. I don’t flinch.
“Go meet with Tiffany,” she says and resumes typing on her keyboard.
I walk off, thinking I’m so glad I’m confident enough to stand up for my work. If I have to spend the next few months testing ingredients, I’m game. As long as I have this development project with Tiffany, my purpose is met.
And with that thought in my head, I head off to meet with Tiffany.
***
“I have to say,” Tiffany says, pausing to take a sip of coffee from her BOSS LADY tumbler, “I love these cupcake ideas. They’re so whimsical.”
“Thank you,” I say, feeling pride in my concept.
“I also like how you explained your thought process in your email. I got inside your head for a little bit,” Tiffany says. “I think you have a playful personality when it comes to your baking, am I right?”
I nod. “I do. With my background, I know a lot of people think I should want to work in a five-star restaurant doing precision pastry, but I find no joy in being confined like that. I want the freedom to use ingredients that speak to my heart. I want people to not necessarily ‘oooh’ and ‘ahhh’ over my baking complexity, but think, ‘That looks fun, I want to try it!’”
“You seem to know yourself very well,” Tiffany says. “Unusual for someone so young. Usually, people your age think they know what they want but are still finding themselves. You, however, seem to know.”
“I do know the path I want to take,” I say. “I want to be a developer and ghostwrite recipes for cookbooks. That’s why I’m here. I want to learn everything I can. I’m very excited to be able to have you oversee me on this project.”
“Do you know what I like about you? You’re really hungry for this. Your playfulness with baking is exactly the breath of fresh air I want. Whimsical and accessible.”
She gets me. It’s like Tiffany is inside my head, seeing everything that is whirling in there in regards to my career passions.
“Let me guess, you have a stack of ideas stored in that head of yours.”
“I do.”
“Tell me two of them.”
I tell her about my recent Italian desserts cheesecake fusion idea and then follow up with another one.
“I would love to do a cupcake feature called ‘Cupcakes and Cereal,’” I explain. “Each cupcake would feature a different childhood cereal. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Honeycombs, Cookie Crisp, Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, Trix. I’d like to use my own unique spin on this kind of nostalgia baking. I’ve studied the back issues. We haven’t run a piece with either of these ideas.”
Tiffany looks thoughtfully at me. She reaches for her pen and scrawls something on the notepad in front of her.
“I appreciate that you do your homework. You believe in yourself, and you’re aggressive enough to go after this. If I like what you do with Skye’s cupcakes, we’ll discuss another development project. I’m going to turn you loose now with the Valentine’s Day project. Why don’t you come back next Monday and tell me how it’s going? You can schedule your appointment with Monica,” she says, referring to her assistant.
Ahhhh! I’m so ecstatic I could burst.
I rise from my seat, smiling at Tiffany. “Thank you so much for your belief in me.”
“Hey, when I find talented young people, I like to keep them,” she says, smiling back. “It’s wise investing.”
“Well, thank you for taking the time to mentor me,” I say. “And for giving me this opportunity.”
I head back to my desk so I can check my messages before starting a batch of Skye’s cupcakes and another sugar trial.
And so I can text Cade and tell him about the meeting.
I reach for my phone and see I have two new messages: one from Cade and one from Skye.
I open Cade’s first. I love how I always start my day by talking to him. I look forward to our little exchanges throughout the day.
Thinking about you. Text me when you can to tell me how your meeting with Tiffany went.
I smile to myself. I’ve found a good man in Cade.
I text him back:
Just got out. Tiffany believes in me and wants to see me grow. If these cupcakes go well, she’ll let me do another development piece. I’m so happy!
I hit send and he replies right back:
That’s fantastic! I’m not surprised though. She’d be an idiot not to see your talent. Proud of you. We should celebrate tonight.
Oooh!
I decide to flirt with him:
How so?
Cade responds:
By not playing board games.
My face immediately grows hot as I remember making out with him last night.
Another message from him drops in:
Kidding! I wouldn’t invite you over just to not play board games.
Now I’m grinning. I type back:
Well, that’s disappointing. I like not playing board games with you.
Another text comes through:
Stop it. I’m trying to behave. Dinner?
My fingers fly across my iPhone:
I’m not coming downstairs for scorched Pot Noodle, Cade Callahan.
There’s a pause and then a reply:
You made me spit coffee out on Jupe’s dashboard. He’s not pleased with either of us. But I’ll surprise you with the one dish I can make.
A giggle escapes my throat, and Emily Sharp, the girl at the desk next to me, glances my way. I recompose myself:
Tell Jupe I’m sorry. And I’ll see you tonight. With a fire extinguisher just in case.
I hit send, and I know I’ll get an instant response:
HA very funny. But smart on your part.
I say goodbye and flip over to Skye’s message:
JoJo, can I ask you a huge favor? I’m thinking about what I want to do for the REAL ME, and I think a good start would be blogging. Writing about life straight from my heart. Would you mind reading my draft and telling me what you think? Whenever, no rush. I emailed it to you. Xo
I access my Gmail and find the message from Skye sandwiched in between emails from Williams-Sonoma and King Arthur Flour.
I click open the attachment and read:
REALITY BLURRED
First of all, thank you to everyone who followed me on my journey on Is It Love? While it didn’t end in love for me, I realize this is exactly what was supposed to happen. Looking back on the whole experience and knowing what happened after the show aired, I understand now that the cameras blurred my reality. I put my head aside in favor of my heart while I was on TV.
I pause for a moment. An uneasy feeling runs through me. I feel like she is speaking to me with these words. I force myself to continue:
What I realize now is that I was swept up in the idea of love. Tom Broaden was gorgeous, successful, witty, bright—everything I had ever wanted. I didn’t go on the show with the idea I’d fall in love. I put my brain in charge at the beginning. But somewhere between the romantic dates and magical kisses, I shut my brain off. I let my heart do the driving, and I made the mistake of putting my brain in the backseat. I knew he was different. He was special. I fell immediately, something I had never done before. But after Tom told me it wasn’t love, I realized I had never listened to my head. Not once during the whole process.
One thing is clear to me now: you can’t fall in love within days of meeting someone. Real love takes time. It takes time to truly know someone. You can’t do that in a week. You can’t even do it in six weeks, which is the length of time I was on the show. Lasting love isn’t instant.
My stomach sinks as I read her words. Skye did everything I’m doing now. With a sick feeling washing over me, I continue:
I will never make that mistake again. After watching the show back, I see how in love I was with Tom. How eagerly I jumped all in. How wrong that was. Next time, I’ll take my time.
&
nbsp; Just like true love does.
I stop reading. I swallow against the lump that has formed in my throat. This time, it’s not Tiffany reading what is in my brain. It’s Skye. And I was meant to receive this warning.
Cade is everything I want. It’s magic when we’re together. He’s sexy, caring, smart, and funny. Successful. Driven. He loves my passionate side.
But I can’t be this stupid. Not after Marco.
The message is clear.
Cade wants to go slowly, to see if this could eventually be love for him. He’s told me that. He’s not going to make the same mistake and rush in. And I shouldn’t either. While my heart is screaming at me to go all in, I can’t listen to it. I can’t.
I need to be careful. I need to proceed with caution. Even if my heart wants me to open up, I need to remain silent. I need to think in terms of one date at a time. I can’t think of anything beyond that, no matter what my heart tries to tell me.
Because while Marco hurt me, I have a feeling if Cade were to walk away, the damage would be far, far worse.
It would devastate me.
And I can’t let that happen.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Today’s Purpose and Passion Statement:
Today’s purpose is to learn all about one of Cade’s biggest passions: fishing. We’re headed up to Boulder early this morning for fishing on a private pond. I know this is a big deal for Cade to share this part of himself with me. I just hope my lack of outdoor experience doesn’t ruin his day. But tonight we’re making pasta together, and I’m very excited to share my passion with him. I mean pasta making passion. Not passion-passion. Although as I type this, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea either . . .
***
I hit save on my file, electing not to print this personal statement and hang it in the kitchen for obvious reasons. I close my laptop and grab my canvas tote bag. It’s still black outside, as it’s like six in the morning, but Cade wanted to be in Boulder by seven, so here I am.