by Drew Elyse
“I don’t think that’s for you to determine.” Oh, my kitty really wanted to flash her claws, did she?
“It’ll be for me to determine when I fuckin’ kill any other man who tries.” I noticed several heads jerk our way, but I didn’t pay them any attention. Sparring with Cami took all facilities. I didn’t have the attention left for anything else.
“Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else,” Cami suggested, not so gently.
“Could’ve skipped on talking at all. Could’ve gotten back from work and had my tongue between the lips of your pussy. You’re the one who shot that all to shit.”
“This is not the place to talk about this. We’re in the middle of a goddamn Victoria’s Secret, Gauge,” she snapped.
“Darlin’, you came here. Now, you wanna have this chat somewhere else, grab those panties in your size and we’ll get the hell out of here.”
“So, you act like a jerk and then expect me to just do what you say?”
“Cami,” I warned.
“No, Gauge! You don’t get to order me around like some club slut! If I want to go to the mall, I damn well will!”
“And I don’t have a fuckin’ problem with you coming to the mall. Particularly not if you’re going to come home with sweet shit like this,” I said, snatching the lace from her hands. “What I’ve got a problem with is you taking off from the clubhouse without a damn word to me. And that you got in this fuckin’ snit when I called you out on it.”
“Are you seriously trying to do this right now?”
“No. I fucking am not. I want to get out of here and deal with this, you’re the one digging your heels in.”
“Go. Home.” She gave me a look that might have felled a lesser man. I, however, was no lesser man.
“Cami, I leave this damn mall, you’re with me.”
We lapsed into silence, a stare off I was determined not to lose happening between us. She was pissed, but so was I. At least I had some damn reason to be. She was being ridiculous. I glowered at her, not even trying to put a cap on my anger. Cami was a big girl. If she wanted to poke the bear, she better be prepared for the roar.
Finally, she looked away, and said, “Fine. Let’s go.” She placed the panties back on the shelf with a forceful hand and shouldered past me.
“You forgetting something, babe?” I called after her.
“No.”
I jogged after her and grabbed her arm. “I think you are.” I dragged her back to the display, grabbed the pair she’d been eyeing, and pulled her toward the register.
“And what if those aren’t my size?”
“Why were you looking at a pair in the wrong size?”
“Because I wanted to see what they looked like!” She was bullshitting me.
“Without checking to see if they had your size?”
“Maybe.”
I held the panties I’d balled in my fist up. I looked at them, then Cami’s hips, which were cocked to one side. “They look good enough.”
“Seriously?”
“Cami, what the fuck size are you, then?”
“That’s a rude question to ask a woman,” she pointed out.
“Swear to Christ, woman, you don’t stop fucking with me like this, your ass is going to be redder than these.” I lifted my hand to indicate the scrap of fabric.
Her mouth opened a bit, her eyes wide. Well, that shut her up. After a moment, she snatched them from my hand and looked at the tag. “These are the right size,” she muttered, then continued the walk to the register.
The young blonde behind the counter had eyes on me from the moment we approached. “Good afternoon! Did you find everything okay?” she asked me, completely ignoring Cami.
“Yes, I did,” my girl snapped as she handed over the panties and the black mesh bag with her other picks in it.
Blondie’s eyes flicked to her for a moment before settling back my way. “Well, I’m happy to help if there’s anything you need.”
“What we need is for you to ring us up and stop checking out my man,” Cami huffed.
Blondie looked shocked at my girl’s attitude, but quickly got to actually doing her job. I wrapped my arm around Cami’s waist and pulled her reluctant body against mine. I leaned in so my lips were against her ear, and said, “So, I’m your man now?” That got me an elbow in the ribs, but I didn’t let her go. “I like you jealous, darlin’.”
She turned her head toward me. “Flirting with the floozie checkout girl is not going to help you out here.”
Oh, on the contrary. It seemed it was helping me out quite a bit. Particularly when Blondie looked up again and Cami settled herself tighter against me to show her what was up. Part of me almost wanted to encourage the attention to see how far I could push my girl.
When Blondie gave the total, I quickly fished out my card and handed it over before Cami could get her wallet free from her purse. “I got it.”
Cami pulled herself from my hold and looked at me. “You aren’t paying.”
“Yeah, I am, babe.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Really? You want to keep this going? I picked the last pair, I’m the one who’s going to be looking at them and taking them off. Fuck, I might even be the one ripping them in half if I’m in a mood, so I’ll pay.”
That flustered her again, but her recovery came quicker. “Who said you’ll be seeing anything?” I gave her a look. We both knew I’d be seeing those fucking panties. “You’re such an asshole, Gauge.”
“Never said I wasn’t, darlin’.”
She looked like she was really trying to get the last word, but she stayed quiet, which was probably best for the both of us. If she pushed me much more, I was liable to start ripping her clothes off and taking her in the middle of the damn store. I doubted she would appreciate the trip downtown for public indecency.
It took another couple minutes for Blondie to finish doing her job while keeping her eyes on me instead of the register. The entire time, I could feel Cami stewing beside me. When we were finally done and Blondie wished us—or really, just me—a “wonderful afternoon”, Cami snatched the bag from the counter and stomped off without a word. I followed her through the mall, letting her have her attitude because that shit amused me. But when we made it outside and she started walking off in the opposite direction, I brought her to a stop.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
She pointed off to the sea of cars. “I’m parked that way.”
“You’re riding with me,” I said.
“I can’t leave the car here,” she stated like I was a moron. “And besides, I’m not dressed for a bike.”
She was right. She had on shorts and sandals. Not the coverage I’d prefer for my bike. “Alright, but you don’t head straight back to the club, we got problems.”
She pulled away and started walking off, mumbling, “We’ve already got problems.”
“You’ve got no idea, babe.”
I am not too proud to say I did not seriously consider going somewhere else. Every street I passed that would lead me away from the route to the clubhouse called to me. A couple times, I even changed lanes and turned on my turn signal before backing out. I was that close to driving off and dealing with the blowback later. Of course, about halfway into the drive, I stopped doing even that when Gauge’s bike came into my rearview mirror. No way was he going to let me drive off without following me.
So, after a short drive, I was pulling into the clubhouse lot with Gauge right behind me. We both parked and I let my head fall back while my eyes closed. This had to happen, whether I wanted it to or not. Apparently, my moment of finding my center took longer than I thought. Before I realized it, my door was yanked open and I was looking at a wall of angry biker.
“Did you forget how to get here?”
“What are you talking about?” I feigned ignorance. I hadn’t seen him behind me when I’d considered driving away.
“Saw your turn signal, babe
.” Well, there was no good response to that. “Get out. We need to talk.”
I did as he said, realizing I was facing a fight I could not win. I carried the two bags of purchases I’d actually been able to make before Gauge came charging in to the mall like some oversized dog jumped up on adrenaline and a need to piss all over his favorite toy.
“I need to give Roadrunner his keys,” I decided to point out as it became clear he was on a fast track straight to his room.
“I’ll deal with it later.” I started to protest, and he practically growled, “You gonna argue with everything I say today?”
Oh, that was how he was going to play it? He wanted me to be the docile little bimbo he came home to at the end of the day to get his rocks off? No. Hell no. I left that life, I was not walking back into it willingly. I stormed past him once he unlocked the door to his room, immediately going for my bag. It was time to get the hell out of there. I would stay at a damn hotel until Dad got back and then figure it out from there.
“What the hell are you doing?” Gauge snapped.
“Leaving.”
“Leaving?”
“Yes, Gauge, leaving,” I answered as I stuffed my discarded clothes from the floor into the duffle. He didn’t respond right away, so I stuck to my task. Then, his arms hauled me backwards, wrapping around me, pinning my own against my sides. “What the hell?” I exclaimed.
“You aren’t going fuckin’ anywhere, Cami.”
“You don’t own me, asshole!”
He set me down, but kept a tight hold as he turned me to face him. “No, you’re right. I don’t own you. But you’re mine all the same.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means we both feel this shit between us. You’re mine. We’ve both known it since we met. It’s why you finally left that jackass. Fuck, Cami, it’s why you came here! You can say it was about returning home all you want, but your home was always fuckin’ here, you just didn’t know I was.”
“You are so unbelievably arrogant,” I snapped, unwilling to accept any truth in his words.
“Tell me, did you even try to call your dad when you walked out, or was I the first call you made?”
“The first call I made was for a cab,” I told him.
“Don’t play fuckin’ games with me,” he warned. “The minute your ass was in that cab, you had one destination in mind and you called one person, and that wasn’t Tank.”
“So what?” I asked, unable to refute what he was saying. “Maybe I thought it was a good idea at the time, but I’ve learned from my mistake.”
“So that’s what you’re going to call this? A mistake? I’m just the guy you fucked for three days straight to get it out of your system, then you’ll move on to another uptight fuck like Nathaniel?”
“Apparently, I already have!” I accused, throwing his hands off me. “You want me to be the perfect little woman sitting behind in the clubhouse, only leaving or doing something else with your okay, fitting in where you want me to and nothing more. You’re exactly like him!”
“I am nothing like that asshole!” Gauge roared. “I don’t want you to be any-fucking-thing but yourself. I want Cami. Smart-mouthed, full-of-attitude, so-damn-sassy-she-makes-my-fuckin’-dick-hard Cami.”
“Bullshit.”
“Bullshit? Fuck, the only fuckin’ thing I asked of you was to tell me when you were fuckin’ leaving. What’s so damn hard about that?”
“I’m a grown ass woman. I don’t need to check in with you!”
“No, but is it so much to ask for a little peace of fuckin’ mind that I know where my woman is? That I don’t come back here fuckin’ expecting to find her and she’s gone?”
I hesitated. That didn’t sound so bad, but there was one glaring problem. “I’m not your woman.”
He grabbed my face between his rough hands, his eyes like orbs of black fire. “You are, darlin’. Unless you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me, you’re mine. But you better make me believe it, Cami, or I won’t let you go.”
“Gauge,” I said.
“I want you. Your beauty, your attitude, all of it. I want you on the back of my bike, and I want you wearing my patch. Maybe this’ll all go to hell in time, but I’m willing to take that fucking risk. You don’t want that, this is your chance to get out.”
“You…you want me to be your old lady?” No, that couldn’t be right.
“Yeah, baby.”
Alright, clearly this was a conversation we should have had a couple days ago. “You’re serious?”
“Dammit, Cami.” He shook his head, and then planted his lips on mine. He kissed me hard, his tongue prying my lips open so he could deepen it. Any resistance still in my body disintegrated, and I felt my weight sag against his solid front. He kissed me for long minutes until what the hell we were fighting about in the first place became a bleary memory. When he pulled back, I grasped on to his cut to keep him close. I didn’t want to go back to talking or fighting or whatever we still had to do. I wanted to stay right where we were, with his lips on mine, and pretend all the complicated things did not exist at all.
“Don’t stop,” I pleaded.
“Honey, look at me.” I did as he asked. “Look, this bullshit today was on me. I should’ve laid all that out sooner. You’re not just some piece of ass to me. I’m fucking in this.” He looked at me like he was searching for something, but I was a little too shell-shocked to figure out what. I decided to nod. “You gotta know, though, there are rules with this life. You grew up with this club, you know how shit works. There’s going to be stuff I can’t talk about, there’s going to be shit you don’t like that you get no say in, there are going to be times where you’re gonna have to fuckin’ trust that I’m looking out for you when it seems like I’m being a prick. You gonna be able to handle that?”
He was right. I knew what club life was like. I knew being Tank’s daughter and Gauge’s old lady made me a Disciple, but that didn’t make me a brother. I didn’t get a say in the club, and I wouldn’t. The brothers would respect me, treat me well and protect me, but I would be expected to show that respect as well. Maybe parts of the club dynamics seemed backwards to some, like the guys treated women as second-class citizens, but I knew the truth of it. The right woman, the woman who became a brother’s old lady—she was treated like a queen. It was a life many probably could not understand, but it was a life that made perfect sense to me.
So, I gave him a simple answer to a question that seemed huge, but was really straight-forward at its core to me. “Yes.”
His lips came back to mine, his kiss claiming in a way it hadn’t been before—or maybe that was just me recognizing that quality to it for the first time. Whatever it was, I let it consume me. I could not remember having felt more alive.
Hours later, as we lay in his bed replete and exhausted, I broke away from the light conversation we were having to address something still bothering me.
“Gauge, did you really think I would leave and go back to Nathaniel?”
“Darlin’,” he said as a non-answer, and I realized the truth of it.
“You did, even if only for a moment, you really thought it was a possibility.”
He sighed, turning onto his side so he could face me. “You’re mine, Cami, and I’ll fight to keep you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know there’s shit I can’t offer you. He might be a total asshole, but he brings home a mint. I do well for myself with the club, but I can’t provide that shit.”