by Renee Fowler
“What’s wrong with right in the middle?”
Stradling me, she leans up and shrugs her shoulders slightly. “If I was a better singer, I wouldn’t need all that post processing. I wouldn’t have to rely on all those stupid gimmicks to sell records either.”
“You don’t need all that stuff.”
“Says you.”
“What’s going to be the gimmick this time?”
“Brent wants me to do the sexy schoolgirl schtick.” Trin wrinkles her nose. “But I said no way.”
“You could do it for me,” I suggest with a crooked smile, folding my hands behind my head.
“For you maybe, but I don't want to prance around on stage in pigtails.”
“Then what are you going to do instead?”
“I dunno.” She traces a finger along the collar of my shirt, and bites the corner of her lip. “He came up with the idea of touring with Kane.”
I feel my eyebrows tick up. “Your exboyfriend?”
“He wasn’t my real boyfriend,” she points out quickly, then starts to shake her head again. “I don’t really want to do that either. He’s such an idiot, and everyone would think I’m cheating on you, even though I made it clear I would not be relaunching Trane.”
“Relaunching what?”
“You know, if you put Trin and Kane together, like an abbreviation.” She clicks her nails together. “You and me would be Trabe, or Grin.” Her face breaks out into a wide grin. “I like that. It’s perfect. We’re Grin.”
I’m not sure what face I’m making currently, but I know damn well I’m not grinning. “Are you trying to ask me if you should go on the road with your exboyfriend, the one you used to get high with?”
“No!” Trin sucks on her bottom lip for a moment. “Maybe. Brent’s right. It would fill seats. It would mean I’m not on the road for nine months again. Gabe, I just want to get back home so we can start our real life together.”
“This is our real life, right now, and no matter how long you’re on the road for, we can make it work.”
Her bottom lip puckers out into a pout.
“How would I explain that to my family?” I ask.
“You told your family about us?”
“Well, I told my sister Becca, and I’m sure she’ll clue them in sooner or later.”
“Oh, god.” Trin cups her hands over her mouth and nose. “They hate me.”
“That was all a long time ago.”
“They must think I’m a sinful skank.”
“That was a long time ago too.”
“Not that long ago.”
“Almost four years ago.” I slide my palms up her thighs, and grip around her hips. “If you’re asking my opinion, then no, I don’t think you should tour with Kane, for a number of reasons.”
“I know you’re right.” She sighs heavily. “I wish I had never signed that stupid contract. I want to stay here with you, and… It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”
“Is it even legally binding? You told me yourself that you barely remember signing it.”
“Did I?”
“Yeah, you did. Was there anyone else present when you signed it?”
“I don’t know. I can’t even remember, but it doesn’t matter. I already spoke with a lawyer and tried to get out of it.”
“How can you trust a man that would slide a contract in front of someone so under the influence they can’t even remember signing the damn thing?”
“Gaaabe,” she whines. “Don’t start this again.”
“Seriously, Trin. How can you trust him?”
She blinks rapidly, and stares towards the ceiling for a second. “I don’t know who to trust anymore.”
“You trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course I trust you, but you don’t understand how it works. He knows how to deal with the guys in suits, and he knows… I just have to get through this next album and tour, then I’m done with him.”
“I’m worried about you, Trin.”
“Well, stop worrying. I’m never going to use again. Ever.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“And I’m not going on the road with Kane. You’re right. It’s a stupid idea anyways.”
“I’m not worried about that either, but someone that would do the things Brent has done is dangerous, Trin. He’s not the kind of person you turn your back on.”
“Ugh.” Her head droops between her shoulders, and she lets out a long sigh. “He’s not the eyeball eater, Gabe. He’s the reason you don’t have to explain a picture of us fucking in my hot tub to your parents. You really ought to be thanking him.”
“What if he’s the one who hired that photographer in the first place?”
“Why would he do that? Gabe, that doesn’t make any sense.”
“Trin-”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore! I don’t tell you how to do your job, and I would appreciate the same respect. We were supposed to go out and have a nice night together, not rehash this same crap. I love you, Gabe, but you need to give this a rest.”
I scrub a hand over my face, and blow out a slow breath. God, I hope Shane’s buddy in forensics finds something. It looks like Trin isn’t going to listen to reason unless I have solid, concrete evidence she can see with her own eyes.
Chapter 28
Trin
The first time I met Shane’s wife Gina, she was sort of star struck and weird around me, which I anticipated. The second time she was a bit more relaxed, letting some of her real personality shine through. By the fifth time, she’s comfortable enough to strip down to her panties in my presence.
“There’s no way those are your real boobs,” I say, with a small hint of jealousy.
“They’re all mine.” She gives the right a little bounce in the full length mirror before pulling up the straps of the black, fitted dress covered in tassels. “But I just turned thirty, so I’ve probably only a got a few years of this left, if I’m lucky. These babies are gonna be hanging down to my belly button one of these days. Give me a zip, will ya?”
“How the hell does someone in your line of work look this good?” I ask, maneuvering the tiny, hidden zipper up her back. Gina runs a small catering company from her home that mostly specializes in making cakes for weddings and birthday parties.
“I hate sweets.”
I groan. “Oh, god. You’re one of those people.”
“You know how it is. When you’re around the same thing all the time, it gets old, if that makes sense.”
I murmur under my breath. It makes perfect sense. After almost seven years as a musician, I’ve grown weary of it all, but lately I’m feeling an odd sort of energy and excitement to record this new album.
“These sure came in handy for my last line of work.” She adjusts her breasts in the low, fitted cups, and twists this way and that to inspect herself in the mirror.
“What did you do?”
“I was a stripper.”
My mouth falls open into a wide grin. “No you weren’t.”
“I sure was, but I preferred the term exotic dancer. It’s classier.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“If you’ve got a pole somewhere, I’ll be happy to show you,” she offers, then pauses to let out a throaty laugh. “I doubt I’ve got the moves anymore. I’d probably end up breaking my neck. That was years ago.”
“You should keep it.” I say, as she does a little twirl so the slender tassels flare out around her body. Gina starts to argue, but I insist. “I’ll probably never fit in that thing again. I could barely squeeze into it the first time I wore it.”
“I don’t know where I’d go wearing this.”
“Make Shane take you somewhere nice.”
She rolls her eyes. “We’re way past that phase. I’ll be lucky if he takes me to Burger King for our anniversary.”
Gabe took me there just last week at my insistence. I wore my long, auburn wig, and he called me Heidi. When
I wear the short black one, I go by Cleo.
“Is that how you and Shane met?”
“Oh, hell no. I would never look twice at the skeevy guys that came in that place. I stopped all that nonsense a few years before we crossed paths.” Gina fanned her lush, dark hair around her shoulders. “We met at an AA meeting.”
“Really?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“I dunno.”
“I’m glad I met him when I did. I was there because I had to be, you know, under court order. He was there of his own free will, and he took it way more serious than I did at first.”
“It’s hard to imagine Shane being serious about anything.”
“I know, right.”
Truthfully, it’s a little hard to imagine the two as a couple at all. Gina is voluptuous, with a tiny waist and delicate features. Shane is tall, but lanky. His carrot red hair is complemented with an unfortunate amount of bronze freckles, but it doesn’t take too long with the both of them in the same room together to see they are the real deal.
“How did you and Gabe meet?” she asks, wiggling back out of the dress, and next her panties. She steps into the bathing suit I handed her without a bit of modesty. Maybe it’s not too difficult to imagine Gina being a stripper in her former life.
“We’ve known each other forever. We met at church when we were kids. He was my first real boyfriend.” I choose not to divulge he was my only real boyfriend, a fact I find a little humiliating to share. It sounds so pathetic.
“Then how did he end up with that bitch, Leah.”
“You’ve met her?”
“Mmhmm. She didn’t like me very much.” Gina adjusts the pink cups of my bathing suit top over her huge, perky swells. “Oh, well. She’s history now.”
But she’s not history. She’ll always be a part of Gabe’s life since they have a child together, and after learning that we’re an item again, Leah has been on a mission to make his life difficult. “He ended up with her because I’m a dumbass.”
“It all turned out okay in the end though.”
“Yeah, I guess it did,” I say with a small sigh, handing her a robe.
I guess in a way it really did. Gabe has Rose, who he adores, and it’s hard to say how things may have turned out if I hadn’t left. A small part of me wants to believe we were destined for each other, that we would’ve been blissfully happy, but my rational side doubts that is the case. I had a serious case of wanderlust, and the emotional maturity of a thirteen year old. If I had stayed in Trenton to be with Gabe, I might’ve resented him. Even if that opportunity in Nashville hadn’t presented itself, I may have still set out for greener pastures elsewhere.
Maybe things turned out the way they were supposed to afterall.
We head back downstairs, and out back. Since the little snafu with those photographs, I’ve had some taller fencing put in, and a little privacy enclosure built. It blocks out some of the surrounding natural beauty, and it still doesn’t put my mind totally at ease. Gabe and I almost never step foot out here anymore.
“I need to talk Shane into getting one of these for our cabin out at the lake,” Gina says, sinking down into the water up to her neck.
“I thought he said you were selling that place?”
“Over my dead body.”
I laugh. “When is your anniversary?”
“Next month.” She waggles the fingers of one hand above the surface of the water, displaying her wedding band and engagement ring. “Five years. I was your age when we first got married.”
I make a mental note about that hot tub. Maybe I could get them one for their anniversary. “Are you two thinking about having any kids?”
Gina lets out a tinkling laugh. “You’ve met our kids. Rosco and Sadie,” she says, referring to their two golden retrievers.
“You don’t want to have a baby?”
She shakes her head. “The two of us don’t have any business having a baby.”
“Why not?”
“We’re both alcoholics for starters, plus I got bounced all around when I was a kid. People that get raised like me make terrible mothers. Shane is a good guy, but he comes from a long line of drunks. It’s in their blood or something. I figure the two of us ought to just do the world a favor and keep our DNA out of the gene pool.”
“I don’t think I want to have kids either.”
“You’re still young. You might change your mind.”
“Maybe.” I shrug and wiggle down so a jet of water pulses between my shoulder blades. Lately I’ve been spending more time with Hope. We have fun together. She’s a beautiful little girl, but the notion of having one of my own, even with Gabe, doesn’t sit well with me for some reason. I brush a palm over my stomach beneath the surface of the swirling water. The idea of something alive, moving around in my belly seems gross. The thought of pushing a tiny human out of my vagina terrifies me, and then everything that happens after… None of it appeals to me.
“What about Gabe? Does he want any more?” she asks.
I shrug again. “We haven’t even been back together for three months. It seems a little early to be talking about that.”
“Yeah. I guess so. Have you met Rose yet?”
I shake my head. Gabe hasn’t offered to introduce us, and I haven’t asked. After hearing so much about her, I want to meet her, but I guess he still has reservations. “I think Gabe’s waiting to see if I go bananas again.”
Gina gives me a weird, tight lipped smile that resembles a grimace.
“I’m sure Shane mentioned it.”
“Maybe,” she admits reluctantly. “It didn’t sound like you went bananas though, more like you were just stressed out.”
“I went a little bananas,” I admit. “Plus I was coming off oxys at the time. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gabe never wants me around her.” I sigh, and kick my legs lazyly beneath the surface of the bubbling water. “I probably shouldn’t be infecting the gene pool with my DNA either.”
“You could always adopt, or get a dog. You’ve got enough room, you could probably get yourself a miniature pony. It would have plenty of space to gallop all around in there.”
I laugh. “I don’t think so.”
“There’s enough kids out there already,” Gina says, waving her hand dismissively. She sits up, and drapes her arms over the edge of the hot tub. “I don’t know why people want to keep having all these babies when there are places full of them that no one wants.”
The door to my back creaks open. I startle slightly, and twist around to see Gabe striding out to greet us. Nearly three months back together, and I still get a little lost, a touch breathless every time I see him.
“I was wondering where you girls were,” Gabe says. His dimples flash when he smiles in my direction.
“You’re already off work?” Gina asks. “I didn’t realize it was so late. I’m gonna have to get home soon.”
“Real or fake,” I ask Gabe, pointing in Gina’s direction.
“Huh?”
“Are her boobs real or fake? Guess.”
Shaking his head, he lifts his hands in the air, and his cheeks turn a touch rosey.
Gina cackles. “Aw. You’re making him blush.” She climbs out, and wraps a towel around her torso. “You can ask my hubby next week, rookie.” She pauses to give his cheek a little pat before continuing on inside.
Gabe wanders closer to hold a towel out for me. “I would’ve never introduced you two if I knew it was going to be like this,” he says with a small smile.
“You’re fun to mess with.”
“Is that all I’m good for?”
“Nah, I guess not.” I lean up to kiss him. “Did you have a nice day?”
He nods, somewhat stiffly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. You better get inside. It’s freezing out here, Trin.” He cups a hand over my bare shoulder covered in gooseflesh and steers me towards the door.
After Gina departs, and I’m dressed in fr
esh clothes, I ask Gabe what’s wrong again. There’s obviously something bothering him. Maybe it wouldn’t be obvious to someone else, but I can tell clearly. His shoulders are stiff. The muscles at the edge of his jaw jump.
“I’m worried about you going down there, Trin.”
“That’s not for two more weeks,” I remind him, running my hands over his cheeks, trying to smooth away some of the tension. “But I’ve been thinking I could hire like a… sober coach. I was reading about it. I’m not sure what the hell they would do exactly. It would probably be like having a second Mia trailing around behind me, but if it would put your mind at ease-”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
I huff quietly. “Even if Brent was the eyeball eater, which he’s definitely not, there are going to be tons of other people around the studio. Nothing is going to happen.” My anxiety over all that has diminished greatly, thanks in big part to Gabe who gave me a few gentle nudges to get out of the house more. Often I go out as Heidi or Cleo. Sometimes I don’t bother with the disguise. “Do you want me to hire a bodyguard too?” I ask with a laugh. “I’m going to have a whole entourage before long.”
“Shane had one of his friends go back over a few things from the investigation. A ton of that evidence is missing now, Trin.”
I swallow. “Well, I’m sure things like that happen sometimes, right?”
He widens his eyes at me, and his mouth hangs open for a moment. “Evidence in lock up for an ongoing investigation doesn’t just vanish into thin air.”
“Gabe, why are you so obsessed with this? Just leave it.”
“I can’t just leave it! Trin, I love you, and I need to make sure you’re safe.”
“I wish you would stop worrying about it.” I also wish I could tell Gabe the truth. Brent likely did what he always does, he threw money at the problem to make it go away, but someone as good as Gabe is not going to be able to see past the dishonesty of my manager’s actions. Brent is not the eyeball eater. He just didn’t want any of us to deal with the huge hassle. “I love you too, but I’m sure that stalker has moved on to someone else by now. It’s been months.”
“What is it going to take to prove it to you?”
“It’s not your job to prove anything. You’re my boyfriend, not my private investigator.” I force a laugh, and press my lips to his. “I don’t want to fight about this again, especially since we’re not going to see each other for a few days.”