It was 4:45 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon and I was getting ready to go home when the call came in from a customer in unit 2001. It was the penthouse suite. I had installed service there two weeks ago, but the housekeeper was complaining about a bad connection. So, I packed my supplies and headed over on my way home. When I arrived at 5:15 p.m., the door was open and the unit seemed empty. I shouted to see if anyone was there.
“Cable man! Is anybody home?”
“Come on in,” a woman’s voice yelled. “The problem seems to be back here.”
When I opened the door to the cafeteria, I understood exactly what she meant by that remark. Regina, who was the owner, was bent over the television wearing short tight gym shorts and a white bikini top. I could see the nipples on her breast protruding through the material. My mouth was open, but I couldn’t speak. I finally managed to gain my composure.
“So what seems to be the pr-problem?” I stuttered.
“Well Mr. Cable man,” she said very seductively “I’m having a problem with my reception.”
“Let me have a look at it.”
As I walked over to the television, I could see that the cable wire had been disconnected in the back. Now I was starting to really get the picture. This was a set up.
“Do you see the problem?” she asked.
“Yeah, I think I have it fixed.” I picked up the remote and set to the guide channel. “Is there anything else you need looked at?”
Why in the world did I have to say it like that? She took advantage of my sarcastic remark.
“As a matter of fact, there’s something else I need fixed. Did you bring all of your tools?”
“Excuse me!”
“Don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about, Able.”
“How did you know my name?”
With a seductive look on her face, she walked over to me and pointed at my nametag. We were so close, our lips nearly touched.
“You are Able with the cable, aren’t you?” she said while licking her thick lips.
When she said that, I could feel the bulge in my pants growing. Too little sex and too much blood flowing from my brain caused me to hallucinate. Instantly, I had become a single, horny, and eligible bachelor. No wife, no kids, no guilt.
“Miss, I feel it’s only fair to warn you,” I said while she unsnapped my tool belt. “I’ve been sexually deprived for the last few months, and I’m liable to hurt somebody.”
That’s when she walked over to her purse and pulled out a pack of condoms.
“Is that a threat or a promise?”
Everything after that was a blur. For the next hour I corrected all of her reception problems, adjusted her satellite dish, and made sure her box was properly plugged in, if you know what I mean. By the time I finished, she had received basic and all of the super stations, all at no additional charge, of course.
Since that day, my marriage has been going much smoother. My wife doesn’t feel pressured into having sex, and I don’t feel frustrated being turned down. I simply put on my uniform, grab my toolbox, and head out for another love connection. And I don’t mean for the company either. I’m going to quit that job in a couple of weeks. After all, the whole purpose was to find something to do with my spare time, which I managed to do. Now I install a different kind of cable, the kind that doesn’t require wires or a remote. As a matter of fact, Regina was so impressed with my work, she turned me on to some of the other single female residence. If my wife is still rationing sex by the time she calls me back, I’ll be ready, willing and Able to do the job again.
Sex as a Weapon
Are there any women out there who can sympathize with this unfortunate man? Remember I said sympathize, not agree. Surely there are plenty of men who will not only sympathize with him but also applaud his decision. They know, as I do, that some women ration out sex for the sole purpose of control. It is no secret that women have used sex, or the lack of, to manipulate men into getting what they want. It is nature’s erotic tool to hammer out deals and adjust the situation to suit her needs. Likewise, it can be used as a primitive weapon to shoot down a man’s ego and kill his masculinity. There is no excuse for playing games with a man’s sexuality. Sex is for pleasure and propagation, not for payoff and punishment. For the women out there who have a legitimate physiological or psychological excuse for holding out, my advice to you is, “Seek professional help. Right away!” And to those of you who choose to continue using sex as a means to exploit, I say, ‘What goes around comes around.”
4
YOU, ME AND SHE
In the game of infidelity there are no innocent players. The other woman is a careless co-conspirator. The wife or girlfriend is a silent witness to the crime. And the cheating man is guilty as charged. In the end they will all pay for their part in this lust triangle, emotionally, financially, or with the loss of dignity. Play at your own risk!
Vamp, Tramp, Traitor
If it is true that men who cheat are dogs, then the other woman must be the dogcatcher. Because without her full and unconditional cooperation the husbands and boyfriends of the world would have only one place to go, home. Single-handedly she can turn a happy home into a house of horror. With little or no shame she will aggressively pursue, wrongfully date, and shamelessly screw any man who tickles her fancy. And she doesn’t give a damn if he just happens to be married, engaged, shacking, or seriously involved. As far as she is concerned, the wife or girlfriend is his responsibility, not hers. This type of woman is cold-hearted and careless. She is out for herself and pledges allegiance to no one. Not to her co-workers, not to her best friend, and not even to her own blood. Any man who crosses her path is fair game, no exceptions. As one woman stated, “Women get along just fine at passion parties, business functions, and baby showers, but let an attractive man come into the picture and it’s every woman for herself.”
It is important to keep in mind that when I talk about the other woman. I’m referring only to those women who are consciously aware of the cheating man’s other relationships. The innocent and unsuspecting other woman who has been lied to, is not to blame, unless she continues to carry on the affair even after she discovers the reality of his situation. Then she too becomes an accessory to the crime. There is no legitimate excuse for any woman to stay with a man once the truth is out. Nevertheless, you and I both know they will still try to justify their dirty deed, either by declaring temporary insanity or blaming the man. For example, one woman said, “By the time I realized he was married, I was already in love, with him.” Please, give me a break! Women are fully aware when they are dealing with a man who has more than one oar in the water. They simply ignore the obvious signs to temporarily or permanently postpone confrontation. What she should have said was, “By the time I admitted to myself that I was playing the fool, I was already dick whipped.” This confession would have been more accurate and honest. Then there is the ever-popular excuse of, “All of the nice men I meet are either shacking or married.” That may well be true, but that doesn’t give you the right to have sex with them, now does it?
For an increasing number of women, the concept of “Man Sharing” is not only tolerable but preferred, or so they say. These are the women I label as “Vamps.” They intentionally seek out men who are already involved in other relationships, preferably marriages. And their mentality is shrewd and to the point. One woman’s statement expressed my point. “When I’m ready to have sex, I just pick up the phone and call my fuck buddy,” she said. “But after the sex is over, I want him gone. If he’s married, I know he has to go home to his wife.” Women who fall into this category have accepted sex as nothing more than a physiological need. No commitment, no emotional attachments, no expectations.
The professional woman is a perfect example. She is too busy with high-powered meetings and quarterly reports to take time out for a serious relationship. Instead she seeks a man who will not demand much of her time or cause stress with his complaining. She has a ful
l agenda, a large bank account, and little patience. When the man arrives at her condo, she expects him to submit his proposal, execute his business, and promptly leave. The older and more mature woman is also a very good Vamp. She has had enough of fantasizing about Mr. Right. Now all she wants is Mr. Right On Time, with the sex that is. After years of falling in and out of love with insensitive men who only wanted a quickie, she has adopted a new philosophy, “What the hell? I may as well get mine, too.” In many cases the Vamp over forty has already been married, has children, or doesn’t want any, and is settled into a comfortable routine. In her world men are strictly for entertainment purposes.
By far the most interesting Vamp of them all is the cheating married woman. Don’t act so surprised, married women are out there creeping, too. Statistics show that 50-60% of them have cheated on their husbands, at least once. Some would argue the numbers are much higher. Maybe the other 40% were too busy cheating to be surveyed. No matter what the numbers, there is no doubt the married woman is Vamping. And she is often the most adamant about dating married men, only. Not just because they appear to be more stable than the single men who run the streets, but also because they can better identify with the inconvenience of her situation. After all, who can better sympathize with a married cheater than another married cheater?
The number of Vamps is multiplying every day and there is no sign of a slow down. “What is the cause of this?” you ask. One reason is the over-exaggerated male-shortage statistics. Women are scrambling like chickens with their heads cut off trying to find a good man, or any man with whom they can spend quality time. As one vamp stated, “I just want a piece of the rock; sometimes you have to chisel off another woman’s boulder.” Again, this is just another weak excuse women use to justify their lack of sexual and emotional control. If only they would take time out to look at the big picture, they could see the problem isn’t quantity of men but quality in the man. Until they understand this fact, the cheating man will continue to play them against one another like two pit bulls in a ring and puppets on a string.
And why shouldn’t he dog them out? The Vamp is constantly setting herself up as an emotional doormat and a sexual outhouse. The cheating man is simply going along with the game and treating her like the whore she is. “If it’s sex she wants, then it’s sex she’ll get,” he says. “No love, no affection, and for damn sure, no respect.” Millions of men all across this country have adopted this same heartless mentality, and they have no incentive to change. Why not? you ask. Because in every nightclub, office building, and bowling alley in America there is a desperate Vamp willing to spread her legs without a cause or conscience. As a result, men have become very cocky towards women in general. For example, a 30-year-old gentleman from Chicago told his girlfriend flat out, “If you don’t want to get with the program, I’ll find somebody who will.” And guess what? He had no problem whatsoever finding a number of desperate women who were willing to go along with that so-called program. So much for long-term commitment.
Another reason why women are Vamping these days is because of the liberal feminist attitude concerning uncommitted sex. I guess this is some form of 60s free love with a condom. The idea is to do it whenever you want, with whomever you want, as long as you use protection. But my question is, Protection against what? “Herpes, Syphilis, AIDS? That’s all fine and well, but what about protection against degradation, humiliation, and heartbreak? Even the conniving and calculating Vamp has been known to get burned. Although she may appear to be secure and in control, just wait until she runs into the right man. Or should I say, the wrong man? All of a sudden her busy work schedule slows down and her casual attitude becomes more serious. When love calls, she’ll pick up on the first ring.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve met plenty of women who are just as good at emotional detachment as men are, in some cases even better. But those women are exceptions to the rule. Most often women cannot separate love from sex. And besides, that trick only works when it’s a man she’s not that into in the first place. When a woman is having sex with a man she has feelings for, over time her emotions will come into play. Suddenly Mrs. In Control, wants more out of the relationship, sexually, emotionally, and in terms of spending more quality time. At that point she’ll have to make a decision to move on and start over, which most women hate to do, or accept her role as the other woman, or the other other woman.
The mature Vamp usually has very specific taste in men. She prefers a mature man who has his head and finances together, not some young buck she has to make decisions for. She also gravitates to men who are well-groomed whom she can trust to be appropriately dressed for whatever the occasion. Close attention is paid to details such as clothes, shoes, brand of cologne, fingernails, etc. Just like a Sugar Daddy likes to show off his tender young thang, the mature Vamp wants her lover to be on point and represent her well in public. Just because he’s somebody else’s man doesn’t mean she can’t reap some of the benefits of the hard work another woman has put into him.
With the consideration of love aside, she wants the best physical specimen she can get. Dorothy from Atlanta said it best, “If I’m going to share a man with another woman, it’s going to be someone I can look at naked without turning off the lights!” The mature Vamp also requires a man with a bit of charisma and tons of confidence. Believe it or not, many couples who are cheating attend social events together and travel. No woman wants to be seen in public with a man who’s weak and insecure, and he’s married too, awe hell naw! If her girlfriends or co-workers discover that he’s married or involved, at least they will be impressed with the package. On the other hand, if he’s in her life strictly for sexual gratification, you’ll never see him in the day of light because she will hide him like a vampire.
Which brings me to the most important attribute for the mature Vamp, her man has to bring his hard hat and lunch box to the bedroom. As one woman said, “What’s the point of having an attractive, well-dressed, minute man?” Darren, who is 50 years old and married, says that vamps approach him all the time, especially at business conferences. His last close encounter took place six months ago with Theresa and Tonya, two Vamps who thought they had everything under control. Well, we’ll just have to see about that. As we began to talk about his experience, he shared with me why he thought more women have turned to Vamping. In his words, “Women have become just as low down and dirty as the men whom they criticize.” Now, whatever gave him that impression?
Darren’s Story
I was at a sales conference at the Eden Rock Hotel in Miami and the last speaker had just wrapped up his presentation. He was boring as hell. I headed straight for the bar to get a drink to wake myself up. As I approached the bar and took a seat on the last bar stool, I could feel the eyes following me. Although most of our VP’s are men, the majority of the sales force is made up of women. Once I got my Grey Goose and cranberry, I took a long sip and exhaled. “Thank God that’s over!” I said to myself. Through the reflection in the bar mirror I could see the show that was about to start. There’s nothing more entertaining than watching corporate people let their hair down when they get away from home. It’s like kids being let out for recess at grammar school. The married men and women are the most fun to watch. Once they get drunk, watch out, you see the real person come out. They are wilder then the single ones.
I casually glanced around the room to see who was watching. Every now and then I would catch the eye of an attractive older woman who was sitting at the table on the opposite side of the bar. Of course, she looked away every time our eyes met. I guess she was checking me out to see if I was expecting company before she resigned herself to coming over. I chilled out and ordered another drink to loosen up a bit.
The night was still young, and I was in no hurry. About twenty minutes after sitting down and half way through my second drink, the bartender came over to me with a silly looking grin on his face.
“So, would you like another of what you’re having?” h
e asked.
“Slow down bartender, I’m not finished with this one yet.”
“Well, when you’re done, the lady would like to buy you another.”
“Hey, that’s fine by me!”
Now, keep in mind, he never did specify which young lady it was who offered to pay for my drink. So, I assumed it was the woman whom I had been making eyes at. Wrong assumption. When the bartender came over with the drink, I lifted my glass in her direction and whispered, “Thank You.” She responded by giving me a flirtatious smile and blowing me a kiss. That gesture obviously set off the woman who actually paid for my drink because a minute later I felt a set of large breasts against my back and a soft voice in my ear.
“Are you enjoying your drink?”
Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want? Page 16