“Is that so terrible?”
Her reply seemed to confuse him.
“I’m always in charge.”
“I only want to touch you, is that really so difficult for you to take?”
His hand went slack on hers and she took that as an invitation to continue.
“My own orgasm caught me unawares,” he said, as grave as can be.
Doris burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
She wasn’t sure, exactly. All she knew was that being with this man made her feel light headed and giggly.
“Do you always take yourself so seriously? My goodness, you had an orgasm, you really need to lighten up.”
“Is that right?”
“So are you into all that BDSM stuff?”
“I believe that sex is a lot more intense, the stronger the power imbalance,” he replied.
“You mean man all powerful, woman weak and trembling, right?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“You don’t like a woman to take charge?”
“No, I can’t say that would work for me.”
“Curt? Can I ask you something?”
“Why not? You’re doing a pretty good job of it so far.”
“Have you ever had sex with a woman as an equal? Have you ever been with someone where you haven’t played games in the bedroom?”
“Yeah. The first time we were together.”
Doris stiffened at the non-memory, jealousy seeping into her bones at the thought of her twin sleeping with Curt.
“You said yourself I was putting on an act.”
“Look, Dahlia, what is this? Since when have you claimed to know so much about deep and meaningful relationships?”
“I told you, I’m not the same woman I used to be. Have you ever had sex with someone where you were friends first and foremost?”
“No. Have you?”
Yes, of course she had. Doris’s relationships had always started out as friendships. She had always hoped that lust would grow of such solid roots, but it never had. She knew she was half right, though. Without friendship, a relationship was doomed, she was convinced of it.
“No,” she replied, thinking of Dahlia’s string of soulless encounters. “But I’d like to. I’d like to be with someone where we have mutual respect for each other. I want the whole package. Friendship. Lust. Respect.”
“I know what you’re trying to do.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. You’re trying to scare me off by sounding like you’re picking out the engagement ring already.”
Was she dong that? Maybe he had a point. It was more than that, though. If she succumbed to his bullying, sexual games, she would be letting her sister down. Dahlia deserved better than that. Well, maybe she didn’t deserve it as such, but Doris wanted that for her. If Curt used her, it would be another sordid sexual encounter to add to Dahlia’s extensive list. When Dahlia got out of rehab and walked on to her new film set, it should be with a co-star that respected her.
“I have done things in my life that I’m not proud of. But that doesn’t give you the right to punish me. You’re using the sexual attraction I feel towards you against me, and that’s not right.”
He fell silent and she stiffened in his arms, her hand pulling away from his chest that she had been stroking the entire time.
“Christ Dahlia, since when did you decide you were a relationship expert? This is the woman that had a threesome in a public toilet.”
“Will you let that go already? Anyone would think that you were actually jealous.”
“What if I am?”
His answer surprised her.
My God. I do believe he really is jealous.
“What if I promise not to do such terrible things again? It’s not like you and me were an item when I did it. Stop punishing me, I feel bad enough already about the things I’ve done in my past.”
“The new, improved Dahlia,” he said softly.
“Yeah. I’ve never asked you before,” she said, to change the subject more than anything, “but what’s your real name?”
“You’re really on a roll now, aren’t you? I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
“Oh, go on, I’ll make it worth your while.”
She writhed against him, dropping soft kisses on his shoulder.
“OK, fine. If you must know, it’s Cyril Godwin.”
“Cyril Godwin?” Doris repeated, laughing. “That is so geeky.”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. So what’s your real name then?”
“Doris Dean.”
Oh my God, I can’t believe I just said that…
“Doris? I think that’s prettier than Dahlia.”
Doris was glad she was lying on his shoulder so he couldn’t see her blushing. What an idiot.
“Dahlia sounds more glamorous than Doris.”
“I like Doris. I’m going to call you Doris from now on. In private, of course.”
“No!” she gasped her heart beating wildly. “If you call me Doris then I will call you Cyril. In public.”
“Hey, why are you being bitchy? It’s your name, isn’t it? It’s a nice name.”
I am such an idiot.
“I just prefer Dahlia.”
“And I prefer Doris. Doris.”
“I’m sorry Curt, but I have to go. I promised I’d see Jeremy.”
“What is it with you and your little agent? Do you see me surgically attached to mine?”
“He’s managing my career.”
“Yeah, and that’s all you care about, isn’t it Dahlia?”
“I have to go.”
When she had been lying on his shoulder with her breasts hidden by her arm and firmly tucked against his side, her nudity hadn’t been an issue. But now, up on her feet, it really was.
Curt lay on his back, the sheet draped across his middle and one hand casually resting beneath his head. He watched her as she searched for her clothes with as much dignity as she could muster.
“A car will come to pick you up at eight tonight. Make sure you’re ready.”
“You’re so arrogant,” she said, when her most private parts were hidden by underwear. “Who says I want to meet you tonight?”
“Because you’re the fabulous Dahlia Dean who will do anything for her career.”
Hastily she dressed and left him there in the bed, not daring to even glance at him when she left the room for fear of what her eyes might betray.
CHAPTER FOUR
By the time she had reached the foyer of the hotel and her heart had slowed to an almost regular beat, she discovered she had no idea what she was doing or where she was going.
I suppose I should call Jeremy. I need to tell him that I let slip my ‘real’ name is Doris…
When she switched on her mobile she saw she had six missed calls form Jeremy.
He picked up after one ring.
“Doris. What the hell are you playing at? Are you actually having sex with Curt Gunner for real?”
“Hello Jeremy. That’s none of your business.”
“I’ll take that as a yes, then.”
There was little reproach in his voice. She supposed that was because he was used to people behaving badly.
“How did it go with that journalist?” she asked, swiftly changing the subject. How much does she know?”
“It’s alright sweetie, I’ve smoothed it all over, don’t worry about it. I’ve been trying to call you. I spoke to Dahlia just now. She’s on the mend.”
“You did?” Why didn’t she call me?
Doris bit down the usual hurt.
“Yeah. She hopes to be out in a few weeks or less. That’ll give you time to lose a bit of weight and for Dahlia to gain some so hopefully you’ll meet somewhere in the middle.”
“My God, that is just so shallow.”
“It’s showbiz, baby. And I’ve rescheduled that last interview you missed today for tomorrow. You know, the one you shirked b
ecause you were busy bonking Curt instead.”
Doris blushed. “I’m going to see my sister, right now.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“Why not? I need to talk to her.”
“She’s still recovering, she’s not up for visits yet. Besides, you really don’t want to go potentially drawing attention to yourself like that. What if someone sees you going in? Do you have any idea how hard this is for me to keep this out the press? I tell you, I’m a fucking God to have managed this one. The best thing you can do to help is climb back into Curt’s bed.”
His patronising tone irked her. “Good bye Jeremy.”
“Don’t go and see your…”
She cut him off midstream. First of all, she was going back to her hotel room to change into something a little less conspicuous, and then she was going to pay dear Dahlia a visit.
Two hours later she stood outside the understated building of the drug and alcohol rehabilitation clinic in West London. She was wearing her own clothes; a thin knit, tatty purple pullover that she loved dearly and an old pair of faded levis. With her hair scraped back, no makeup on and dark glasses she felt confident that no one would recognise her as Dahlia.
“Why did you come?” were the first words out of Dahlia’s mouth.
“Hello Dahlia, how are you? It’s lovely to see you too.”
For a moment back there, Doris thought the receptionist was going to turn her away without seeing her twin. Dahlia really wasn’t keen on having her here.
“Christ, Doris, if the press saw you come here then my career is over. I can’t believe you’re being this selfish.”
Doris pulled up a plastic chair next to Dahlia, where she sat in an armchair by the window. They were in Dahlia’s private room. It wasn’t quite as Spartan as a hospital room, but it wasn’t far off either. It only served to remind her that her sister was a drug addict and a lump formed in her throat. So much so, that she didn’t even mind being called selfish.
“I’m here because you’re my sister and I’m worried about you.”
“Yeah, yeah, you came here to check up on me, more like. Now I’m a superstar, your life will never be the same again. Everywhere you go, people will think you are me. Even in your silly little village you won’t be able to pass unnoticed. It’s going to get out soon that I have a twin, we just have to keep up the pretence a little while longer until I’m better.”
“And when exactly, will that be?”
“Soon. A day or so.”
“Great,” Doris said, letting out a shaky breath.
She tried to tell herself she was relieved, but there was no mistaking the pang of disappointment.
In a few days time I’m never going to see Curt again...
“So come on then, what’s my new film about?” Doris looked at her blankly and Dahlia sighed in exasperation. “Please tell me you know what it’s going to be about?”
Doris realised that it hadn’t even occurred to her to ask Curt what kind of film it was, yet alone what it was about.
“I, er, didn’t ask. It didn’t seem important.”
“Not important? If ‘Brick Face’ made me, then this new film will cement my career. I can’t believe you’re so stupid that you didn’t even ask what it was about. It’s a good job I’ve got Jeremy to keep me informed of everything. God, Curt is going to think I don’t care. I hope you’re being nice to him.”
Doris blushed. “I’m always nice.”
Dahlia leaned forward in her seat. “Oh my God, you’re sleeping with him for real, aren’t you? I do not believe this shit.” Her tone softened. “But hey, he is gorgeous, and me and him hooking up is just about the best thing possible for my career. I knew that man was always secretly in love with me.”
“Yeah.”
“I hope you’re not being too crap in bed.”
Doris felt a rise of anger. “For God’s sake, Dahlia.”
“Oh shit, I should’ve guessed. You probably really like him, don’t you? Well, that’s just stupid, Doris, it’s me he wants, not you.”
Doris hastily stood up, tears pricking behind her eyes. She should never have come. This was a mistake.
“I have to go.”
“My God, Doris, you are so pathetic.”
“What’s to stop me spilling everything and going back to my life in Cornwall?”
Dahlia’s bitchy façade fell away. “Because you’re a better person than me and you want to help me. Even if you have fallen in love with my leading man.”
“I have not…”
Her words trailed away. It couldn’t be true, could it?
“So this is what I want you to do. Things have got too messy. You need to develop a bad case of bird flu or something, and disappear until I get better.”
“But what about all the interviews I have lined up? You have lined up? That would be career suicide, surely?”
Dahlia shrugged. “Career suicide is you mooning over my boyfriend and screwing everything up. Really, thank you for standing in for me and all, but it has to stop now before you completely blow my cover.”
Doris felt a wave of hatred for the sister that she loved. “You know what, dear sister? Curt said the first time we shagged was crap, but now I blow his mind.”
Dahlia laughed breezily. Her arrogance knew no bounds. “Oh perlease, as if.”
“I’m going.”
“Fine. I’m calling Jeremy now, and then he’ll call you. Thank you, and goodbye, dear sister.”
Doris stropped out the room, tears stinging her eyes.
She was aimlessly wandering the streets of London when her mobile went off.
“Hello Jeremy,” she said, her heart in her throat.
“Doris, I’ve just had Dahlia chewing my ear off. I told you not to go and see her and stir the pot, what the hell are you playing at?”
“I only wanted to see my sister. Is that such a crime?”
Jeremey sighed heavily. “Not a crime, just a pain. You do realise that she wants you to disappear for a while?”
“Yeah, I kinda got that message.”
“The thing is Doris, she’s right. It’s been great of you to step in for her and everything, but at the end of the day, Dahlia is my client. She wants you gone so it’s probably for the best if you disappear for a while.”
“Disappear? Why do you keep telling me to disappear?”
“Because we don’t need you anymore. It was wonderful of you to take her place at the film premiere, and you did such a good job I guess I got a little bit carried away. I should’ve known that an ordinary person would struggle with fame thrust upon them like this.”
An ordinary person. Could he be anymore patronising?
“So I’m expected to just go home? Pretend like this has never happened?”
“Yeah, pretty much. Thanks for all you’ve done Doris. Don’t worry about Curt, I’ll tell him you’ve got flu and aren’t receiving visitors. Filming starts soon for ‘Death Car,’ I’ll tell him you need to rest up and you’ll see him then. Hello? Are you still there?” he said to her silence.
“Yeah.”
“He doesn’t have any idea that he’s been sleeping with Dahlia’s identical twin, does he?”
“No, of course not.”
“I sincerely hope you haven’t developed feelings for Gunner? You didn’t actually think that you might tell him the truth, did you?”
“No,” she breathed.
“Because that would be silly. I must admit, I was surprised when you jumped into bed with him, you never struck me as the type of person that could have sex without being in love.”
This conversation was getting way too personal.
“Goodbye Jeremy,” she said, moving the phone away from her ear to press end call.
“No! Doris, wait. Look, you’re a nice girl. I thought you could handle this, but I don’t think you can. I think you should get out while your heart is still in one piece. He is your sister’s boyfriend, not yours. You’re in over your head, get
out while the going’s good.”
She pressed end call, her vision blurred by tears. So that was it. No more Curt. It was over. Not that it had ever even properly begun. Because he was never hers to start with.
With a sinking heart, Doris started the lonely journey back to the hotel to pack her bag.
She received a text from Jeremy when the taxi pulled up outside the hotel:
I’ve contacted Curt and told him you have the flu. Please screen your calls and don’t talk to him. I hope you have a safe journey back to Cornwall. Thanks for all your help. J.
She pocketed the mobile in disgust. She had never felt so used and confused in all her life. But she knew that Jeremy was right. She was in over her head. This was all too messed up and she needed to get away.
The more distance between me and Curt Gunner, the better. My sister’s welcome to him.
If only she believed it.
Half an hour later, Doris’s bags were packed and she emerged from the lift in the hotel foyer. Her heart started beating ten to the dozen when she saw who was there to greet her the second the lift doors swooshed open. It was like he knew it would be her at that precise moment.
“Well, looky what we’ve got here. If it isn’t the invalid.”
Swiftly, she took in how devastatingly handsome he looked, dressed casually in blue jeans and a plain black jumper that looked considerably more expensive and better cut than her own tatty old jumper.
Doris blushed hot. “I’m really ill.”
“Yeah. So I see. You’re certainly dressed like someone who has lost the will to live.”
“What are you doing here, Curt?”
“I came as soon as Jeremy called. He said that I had to leave you alone for a few days, that you were so very ill. The obnoxious little prick should’ve waited before he called me, then maybe I wouldn’t have rushed over here and caught you before you did your mid-afternoon flit.”
“Curt, please, I just have to go away for a few days, OK? It’s no big deal. I’ll see you again when we start filming.”
“I don’t think so baby girl. You don’t get to swan in and out of my life whenever you please. You don’t get to play me.”
“Play you? That is the most juvenile thing I’ve ever heard.”
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