“Glenna, do you worry about your family and friends every day?”
“No. Effie is a Barista and shop owner, she doesn’t put herself in the line of fire every day. She’s a normal person.”
“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call Effie normal,” she said a bit on the dry toast side. “Have you thought about the desperate drug addict who sees her shop as a means to get his next fix? The one who is going to walk in and demand money and doesn’t care who he hurts?”
Glenna closed her eyes, Keira had painted a picture she’d never thought of, nor did she want to, again her stomach rumbled and jumped.
“If you didn’t have the Patrick’s of the world that would happen more than it already does. We need him. Care for him, but let him do what he loves. He is an agent because he feels as I do. Glenna you’ll need to come to terms with this.”
She’d known that they wouldn’t do anything to get Patrick off the case. However, as usual Tyler had known what she needed when she called. Even though it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, it was what she needed to hear.
“Thank you, sis. I don’t know how you do it.” Glenna brushed at her face again. “I’m not sure I can.”
“Glenna, take care of you and remember Patrick is trained and knows what he’s doing. He’ll find the ring of criminals and take them off the streets. And we’ll be safer for it.” There was a click. “We’re on speaker.”
Tyler’s voice rang out next. “Sister of mine, I love you and you’ll be fine. As will Patrick. Trust him. Good night.”
Keira was next. “Take care of him. Good night, Glenna, and Glenna? I love you too and so does Lucy. Remember we’re all always here for you.”
And the connection broke.
Glenna sat on the bench cradling the phone in her lap. She watched the people coming and going, all with dramas of their own. It was time for her to visit Patrick and make sure he was okay. The call had accomplished one thing, she wouldn’t ask Patrick to step away. She understood he needed to finish what he’d started. He needed that. She’d follow through with the plan, but she’d hold fast against her feelings for him.
She could not do this every day. As she stood, she felt her heart beat faster and knew what a battle it was going to be to shield it from Patrick.
He was fast becoming embedded in her heart.
When she walked into the hospital quiet surrounded her. She glanced at the clock in the waiting room and realized it was almost ten, she’d kept her brother and sister in law on the phone longer than she’d meant to.
Patrick’s sister was gone when she reached his room, only Finn was in with him, she didn’t think his parents were gone. They must have gone for coffee or something. She stood in the door and watched father and son for a moment.
As if he knew she was there, Patrick’s eyes lifted to hers and locked. A bolt raced over her and she knew she was in trouble. She sucked in her breath and did her best to strengthen the shield to stop the crumbling of the wall around her heart.
Finn stopped talking as he looked over his shoulder, he grinned when he saw her. She saw this through her peripheral vision, as she hadn’t taken her eyes off his father. Somewhere in her heart she was afraid if she did, he wouldn’t be okay that it was all an illusion.
“Glenna! Dad’s going to be okay.” He turned his attention to Patrick again. “I told you he was a tough old bird.”
The emotion in the boys’ voice, broke her heart. If it weren’t for her, they’d probably be getting ready for bed, or already turned in for the night. Instead they were in the hospital.
Patrick had finally broken the electrical current between them and turned to Finn. “What do you mean old? I am not old, I have a long way to go before old.”
“You’re getting up there old man.” Finn slid from the side of the bed, placed a hand on his dad’s shoulder, and then leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “You’re going to be around until I’m an old man with you.”
Glenna swallowed down the love that wanted to overflow of these two who’d come to mean so much to her in such a short time.
“I’m going to see if I can find the older folks, they may be lost wandering aimlessly.”
He chuckled at his own joke. Two steps and he was by Glenna’s side, he grabbed her and swung her around. When he sat her down, he held her a moment to steady her. He leaned down and looked in straight in the eye.
“Dad’s going to be fine. He wouldn’t be the man he is if he didn’t protect those he loved, and those who need protecting.” Then he straightened and looked at his dad and back to her. “He needs you.”
Glenna watched him leave the room wondering how he’d known her feelings.
“He’s a smart kid.”
Patrick drew her attention. She shut the door then went to his bed side. He patted the place where his son had just vacated. She hesitated for a second too long. He gently reached for her hand and gave her a tug until she settled next to him.
“What are you thinking Glenna?”
She blew the air out of her lungs, closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn’t think with him watching her. How to put into words her feelings? They were so new to her, she’d never felt anything like what was in her heart before. It seemed like years ago that she’d been abandoned at the altar. If nothing else told her she hadn’t been in love with Lance, the turmoil in her heart warring with the rolling of her stomach did.
“Glenna? Talk to me.”
He almost died for her trying to get home to her and Finn before the art thieves who were far more dangerous than she’d first thought. Until Patrick was hurt she’d thought Alex had been a onetime accident, a knee jerk reaction when she’d interrupted the burglars search. He deserved to know the truth of her thoughts.
“You could have died. I couldn’t live with that, I brought these people to your home.”
Patrick’s chuckle cut itself short ending in a grown. “Oh, don’t make me laugh it hurts.”
“This is not funny Patrick. You could have died. Then what would I…” she placed a hand on his arm. “…what would Finn do without his father?”
“You were going to say what would you do, be honest Glenna. You are not responsible for me being in the hospital. I’ve been here before and I’ll most likely be here again. Though I’ll do everything to avoid it. It’s just not fun. And you know what? They poke at you… A lot!”
“This is not a joking matter.”
He tried to scoot up, when he failed, Glenna slid off the bed and fiddled with the controls. “Better?”
“Yes. I need to be as close to looking you straight in the eye when I say this.”
She wasn’t sure she was ready for whatever it was. She started to turn. But again he grabbed her hand and tugged until she perched on the side of the bed. Once she’d settled he touched her face, then he placed his other hand on her cheek so that her face was cradled. Warmth spread through her. He leaned in, slowly more from his injuries than prolonging the moment and kissed her at first tenderly, then deepened until he stole her breath.
He didn’t let her go, with his words whispering against her lips he said, “I’m falling hard for you Glenna.”
She pulled away and shot to her feet nearly knocking over his water in the process.
“You can’t.”
“Oh but I can, and I am. Hard.”
Her entire body tightened, as if turning to stone. Yet her chest burned. She wasn’t falling for him. She’d already leaped over the cliff and landed hard. As much as she told herself she was protecting her heart, she’d done a damn poor job of it.
“Glenna. Come back and sit. We’ll talk about this rationally.”
Without turning toward him. “The heart is never rational Patrick. I don’t know that I can do this. Every time you walk out the door I’ll wonder if you’ll return.”
“Glenna I’m not going to talk to your back. Please come here.”
She could hear the rustle of bed sheets and turned in time to see him struggling wit
h tubes and other medical equipment to come to her.
“Stop that.”
She went to him and pushed him back and then sat in the chair. No way could she touch him at that moment and be rational.
“You’re going to sit there?”
“I am.”
“Okay. It’s better than you walking out the door. We have to talk Glenna. We haven’t known each other very long. Before you give me your thoughts, can I tell you mine?”
Could she hear him out without her resolve crumbling along with the barrier around her heart? She gazed at him a moment, his features battered and bruised and she wanted to cry. She blew the breath out of her lungs, again. It seemed like she was always taking deep breaths or releasing it in order to calm and focus. After a moment, she decided this matter of the heart wasn’t going to go away if she didn’t listen.
“Okay.”
“And when I’m finished you’ll tell me what you’re thinking?”
Would she? Could she? She wasn’t sure how to put into words the emotions swirling and bumping around her body until every nerve ending sparked.
“I’ll try.”
“I’ll take that.”
He struggled to get into a better position to look at her straight. He was having such a difficult time, she finally stood so she could slide on to the side of the bed again. Just being in the room with him made her aware of his rugged handsomeness, though a bit battered at the moment.
“Better?”
“Much, now I can do this.” She’d expected him to take her hand, but he leaned for a brush of lips. “Now let me tell you what I’m feeling.”
“I’m falling hard for you Glenna.” He repeated as he took her hand. “Heaven knows I didn’t want this, not while I’m trying to focus on doing a job.”
She tried to pull her hand away. “This is my fault…”
“Shush, it isn’t your fault. I was focused today. I don’t know how they knew I left the back way. One of them must have been watching.
“The point is, I’m here now talking to you because of my training. I know every day what I may face. Most days are danger free, but there are times when I’ll be facing obstacles and dangerous situations, it’s what I do. I’m trained for it. Art is your career, you know it. This is a career for me. I know you’re scared. I’m scared of leaving Finn an orphan. Everyday.”
He leaned his head back a moment. She wasn’t sure if he was thinking, or in pain, or just needed to rest. A few seconds later she determined it was a mixture of all three.
“I thought I’d never fall in love. And before you say anything, I believe I’ve told you this before, I did not love Finn’s mother. She was my first serious relationship, as serious as a young college boy ever lets it get. I was full of raging hormones and though I thought we were careful, I have Finn to prove I wasn’t. And I thank God for him every day.
“If she’d walked away and took him, I’d have moved heaven and earth to find him and have a life with him. Even though the last thing I wanted by that time was to spend time or have a life with her. I’m so glad she gave me the gift of my son. I will always be grateful.”
“He’s a wonderful young man, you should be proud.”
“I am.” He grinned, then winced. “But this is my turn, remember? Anyway, I know that my having an ex-wife is one of the things that you’re not comfortable with, most people aren’t comfortable with an ex. luckily mine is a distant bad memory…”
When she opened her mouth to agree, he held up a hand.
“Not yet. The next thing holding you back is my career, and we’ve covered that. It’s not going away. I know it’s asking a lot but I want you to think of a few things. Do you worry about your parents?”
He nodded to let her know she could actually speak and she almost laughed. But this was serious. She had an idea this was going to go the same route as the conversation with Keira she’d had earlier.
“Well they’re getting a little older, I’m worried something might happen and I’m too far away.”
“Do you worry about your friends?”
She’d been right. “If they’re sick or if they have an accident, yes I do. However, my friends are all healthy so I don’t worry that something will happen to them every day.”
“Good choice of word. Accident. Something can happened to a person every day. An accident. A sudden heart attack. Or in Effie’s case a break-in because someone wants her coffee recipes.”
This elicited a short chuckle from Glenna. He was making light, but she knew he took every word serious as did she.
“True, my duties place me in danger more often than most. I do a good thing. I help take the bad guys off the street so my son can be safe at school, the store, or when he’s out with his friends.”
His words were almost an echo of her sister-in-law’s. Did they teach them this at Quantico?
“I can’t do anything about the fact I have an ex-wife and I can’t do anything about being a federal agent it’s who I am. But I can promise to take care of myself to the best of my ability. I plan to live a very long life. And if Finn thinks I’m a tough old bird now, I’m just going to get tougher and older.”
What could she say? She realized as he spoke, the words that repeated her thoughts.
“I have an idea. We’ve already come up with the idea of being a couple to catch the bastards who broke into your shop.”
She pursed her lips as she interrupted his idea. “And knocked you senseless. And they must know you’re working the case.”
“They thought they did. But I told them I was hanging around you because I was in love with you. When they didn’t buy that I told them I’d met you through Tyler, your brother, who I’d met at Quantico for training. And that made them pause. They’ll check it out. I’m sure even if they have a shadow of doubt, I’ve laid the ground work and we need to keep with the plan.”
“Maybe we better let Tyler know, so he’s not caught off guard.”
“They’re not going call him, they’ll use their resources and check the dates, etc. Let’s not get sidetracked. Glenna you care about me.
“Have you called your brother today?” He asked with far more insight than she wanted him to have.
“Yes, I did.”
“Was that just to tell him about the four guys who thought they could best me?”
“Yes.”
He waited. He gave her hand a little squeeze when she didn’t say anything. Finally on a sigh she told him the reason she’d called.
“It’s my fault you’re in the hospital I asked Tyler to call your superiors to take you off the case.”
He struggled to sit up straighter. “What?”
“Don’t worry, Tyler explained that you wouldn’t want him to do that, nor would he do that to you. He said you were the best agent and I had to have faith in you.”
“Good, because there is no way I’m going to quit now. We’re going to get these guys and they are going to pay for what they did to Alex and to you.”
“Patrick, I know you will. That wasn’t the reason.”
He stilled. “What was the reason?”
She swallowed it seemed it was her turn. “I told him that I couldn’t stand that you were battered and bruised because of me. He told me in no uncertain terms that you needed to finish the job and to get over myself, it wasn’t my fault. If you weren’t working on this case it would be another one.”
“He’s right. Is that the only reason? Because I’m hurt, or as you said battered and bruised. It’s not your fault, so why do you want me off the case?”
Hadn’t she just explained? He waited a questioning expression graced his face along with the colorful bruising. Come on Glenna, for once in your life be truthful to a man, don’t hide because you’ve been hurt by someone you trusted.
Her pep talk should have calmed her, but it just made her more anxious. She’d trusted Danny Collins, he’d hurt her physically but the emotional scars ran far deeper. Then there was Lance, she’d basically hur
t herself on that one, and mostly her pride had taken a beating. Her fault, she’d held herself away from him emotionally so he couldn’t hurt her. Not something to base a marriage on.
Patrick was different than either of those men. He was a kind, protective, and a genuinely good man. He didn’t want to be hurt either so why was this so hard?
“Have you gone into a coma or something?”
Though his words were joking, she could hear a thread of serious in them. She took a deep breath and decided to go with the entire truth, not just part to protect her now completely vulnerable heart. Some things were worth the risk.
“No-holds-barred?”
He titled his head, winced, and seemed to consider her words. Then when she was about to speak because he didn’t seem inclined, he answered.
“Yes, even if it’s going to give me more bruises. I’d rather hear now than fall harder and then find out.”
“I have tried since the moment I met you to shield my heart. After all, you have my number one and two reasons not to get involved with a man. One, you’re law enforcement. The Beckett’s are full of those, why do we need another one?”
His chuckle filled the room, but even that sounded a little nervous and forced. But he kept quiet waiting for her to continue.
“Two, you have baggage of the female kind. Finn’s mom, and no Finn is not part of that package. Joyce is out of the picture but she hurt you. She was your first love.” She held up a hand when he started to speak. “Oh, I know you said you weren’t in love with her. It still did a number on your head. Proof of that is the fact you have had no serious relationships since. Am I right?”
He looked over her shoulder as if he couldn’t look her in the eye, which told her more than anything that she’d hit the nail on the head. She raised a brow and waited for his answer.
“No.” He gave her hand, he was still holding, a squeeze to prevent her from commenting. “Only because I have Finn to consider. He didn’t have a mom, and I didn’t want him to get attached to someone and have it not work out.”
Abandoned (The Beckett Series Book 6) Page 14