I rolled my eyes as she finished her speech. Even though she was arguing why he apparently liked me, it was clear she was defending his actions just as much. She could be weirdly protective of him sometimes.
“Anyway,” she said brightly as she turned to me with a smile to show she’d finished. “On to another unrelated topic—we need to organise a date for you and Morgan to get your suits fitted.”
Fuck. I hadn’t wanted to think about anything wedding-related over the weekend because wedding-related was Alyssa-related, which made the hole in my chest swell to swallow my lungs as well as my heart.
“Isn’t it the bride’s job to hassle me about that sort of thing?” I laughed in an attempt to cover up the ache. “Or at the very least the matron of honour’s?”
“Oh, that’s nice,” Eden said. “Rub that one in again.” She winked at me to let me know there were no hard feelings.
Alyssa and Eden had come to an understanding that although Ruby was going to be the matron of honour and help with all the Brisbane arrangements, Eden was Alyssa’s on-the-ground assistant in Sydney—and in charge of keeping Morgan in line when it came to the stag party arrangements.
“Well, how about the weekend before Townsville?” I asked.
She shook her head. “That’s no good. I’m going to be in Brisbane that weekend.”
I tilted my head in confusion and she giggled.
“The hen night, remember?”
“Fuck, that’s right. I forgot.”
Alyssa had already marked the weekend off her calendar, telling me that someone else was going to arrange the event. I hadn’t pushed her for any more details yet; I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“Forgot, or forced it out of your mind?”
I groaned. “The latter.”
“Don’t worry, squirt, it’s just a night out with a couple of strippers.”
“Strippers, Edie?” I asked, an ill feeling spreading through me. “Really?”
“What do you expect?” she asked as she shrugged. “It is a hen night after all. You don’t expect her to celebrate her last night of freedom without looking at semi-naked men, do you?”
“Why the hell would Alyssa want strippers?” I spat the word out in disgust.
“Surely you’re having strippers?” Eden asked.
“You’d have to ask your boyfriend about that. I haven’t arranged a thing.”
“Declan, I know you well enough to know you’d be happy as a pig in shit to be surrounded by boobs and half-naked women. Why deny Alyssa the same privilege?”
“Alyssa’s going to be surrounded by boobs and half-naked women?” I asked with a snicker. “Now that’s a party I could probably get behind.”
In fact that would be preferable to having skanky strippers hanging around me at my bachelor party. The part of my life where I enjoyed that was over. It was over from the moment I decided that I wanted Alyssa in my life.
Eden rolled her eyes at me. “You know what I mean. If that’s what Alyssa wants . . .”
“Is that what Alyssa wants?” I asked, feeling sick at the thought. Had she expressed some desire to get down and dirty with a mob of G-string-wearing Hercules wannabes?
“I don’t know. I told you already, I haven’t organised anything.”
I felt like I was pulling teeth. “Okay, so who is organising it?”
Eden shook her head as if I were stupid. “The matron of honour, of course.”
“Ruby,” I muttered under my breath.
“Yeah, she’s arranged a night out at the Ball Pit.”
“The Ball Pit? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Eden shrugged. “Dunno what to tell you, it is what it sounds like.”
“Fucking strippers. The fucking Ball Pit. Fuck, I have to talk to Ruby.”
Eden was practically doubled over with laughter when I left her to make a phone call to Brisbane. I hoped Danny wouldn’t mind me abandoning the pits for a moment. In fact, I was sure he would understand. It was life or death, after all.
I yanked out my mobile and scrolled to Ruby’s number, which Alyssa had programmed into my phone, together with a few others, so I would always be able to contact her family in case of an emergency.
“Hi, Declan,” Ruby answered cheerfully. Apparently, Alyssa had given her my number as well, because I sure as shit had never called her before. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Strippers, Ruby?” I asked, my voice dripping with incredulity. “Seriously?”
“So, you heard about the plans for Alyssa’s last hurrah?”
“Yeah, I fucking heard about it. And all I can say is what in the actual fuck?”
“What’s good for the goose and all that,” she answered, her voice still too fucking cheerful considering she was talking about my future wife ogling other men’s junk.
“Don’t give me that shit,” I growled. “I don’t like it.”
“Oh, I get it. Me, Declan. You, Alyssa.” She made some ridiculous fucking monkey sounds before laughing.
“What the fuck?”
“You’re a caveman!” she exclaimed. “You’ll happily go look at strippers, but the mere suggestion that Alyssa is going to and you freak.”
“If I have to go see strippers, it won’t be happily.”
“Whatever. I’m not going to deprive my baby sister of the opportunity to make a final comparison before settling down.”
I growled, beyond words. The thought of Alyssa being around half-naked men made my skin crawl. But just as bad was the thought of having half-naked strangers pawing all over me. I’d been there before, and I didn’t want it again.
“What if I don’t have strippers?” I asked.
She laughed loudly. “I know you are turning over a new leaf and all that, but somehow I find that hard to believe.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear and flipped her the bird. I didn’t care if she couldn’t see me—I fucking knew I was doing it and it felt good. I lifted my mobile back up again and said, “Watch me.”
She laughed. “Well, I do believe you are stubborn enough to not do it if you’re dared. But really, you should be able to enjoy your night. So should Alyssa.”
“And enjoying the night entails looking at half-naked men? Is that what you’re saying?”
She laughed harder. “I had no idea that was your idea of enjoyment, Declan. I’m sure Flynn would love to hear that. Are you sure you’re marrying the right person?”
“Fuck off, Ruby.”
She pretended to gasp between her hysterical laughing fits. “Such language! And to a mother-to-be at that.”
She wasn’t going to be of any further assistance, but I decided to try one last time. “So, nothing will change your mind?”
“Not that I can think of.”
“Fine,” I seethed. “Bye, Ruby.”
I didn’t want to hassle Alyssa about it. Especially considering it would mean calling her in Sydney during a work day. Besides, she had enough on her plate, between worrying about me and the stresses of the graduate program at her job. I decided maybe Ruby had a point. If it was genuinely what Alyssa wanted for her last hurrah, who was I to deny her? If only I could be sure the boys—and the other hens, for that matter—would behave.
A stroke of inspiration hit me, and I headed off to hunt down Morgan.
I had no doubt he would be a more-than-willing accomplice.
CHAPTER TEN: GOOD VIBRATIONS
THE SECOND PRACTISE session of the day went exactly the same as the first. With each lap, I learned a little more about the car and how to treat it around the Adelaide circuit. I took time to dance from one side of the track to the other and pushed the car harder into the corners to try to find its limit.
Somewhat surprisingly, I was able to put all thoughts of male strippers out of my head and just focus on my driving. By the time the session was finished, I felt the fastest I ever had . . . at least the fastest I had in the Mini. I pulled the car into the shed at the end of the last pract
ise lap, leaving it ready for early qualifying the next day.
After debriefing Danny and Liam on how I felt about the session, I packed up the little I had and said goodbye to the few people who were still around. By the time I left the track, I was practically jubilant.
I climbed into a cab and gave him my hotel address and Visa card. For a brief moment, I debated going out to celebrate. Only I didn’t know where to go or what to do. In the end, I decided to head straight back to the room to call my girls instead.
A phone call home and room service for dinner were on the agenda. Except for the phone call home, it was how I’d spent my evenings before a big race. At least until the last six months of my former career, when I’d ramped up the efforts to get the images of Alyssa out of my head by trying to score before the races. Even though everything about my life was different, I figured I should stick to my pre-race routine as best as I was able.
My post-race routine—celebrating and relieving my tension with a random screw—could go and get fucked completely. There was only one girl I wanted to celebrate and release my tension with. And I only had to wait one more day until she was with me again.
When I arrived back at the hotel, I realised it was still a little too early to call Alyssa, so I jumped in the shower, ordered my dinner, and then surfed the TV channels for a few minutes.
I tried to work out what would be the best time to catch both Alyssa and Phoebe. I was in the middle of that internal debate when room service arrived. While I ate, I surfed the channels again, without finding anything that grabbed my attention, and waited as another hour passed—albeit slowly—before I was sure things would be more organised back home. It was close to seven when I grabbed the hotel phone and dialled home.
Alyssa picked it up on the first ring.
I laughed at her enthusiasm. “Anyone would think you were waiting for a call.”
“I knew you’d call.” I could hear her wide smile. “So, yeah, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Of course I’d call. What can I say? I’m under the thumb,” I joked.
“You’re in a better mood than I was expecting,” she mused.
“I had a better day than I was expecting.”
“Well, that makes one of us,” she murmured.
The sadness in her voice stopped me cold.
“Talk to me about it,” I offered, feeling immensely proud of myself for noticing the tone in her voice and acting upon it. Dr. Henrikson would have been pleased.
She quickly ran through her day, how it started with her spilling coffee on her white blouse on the way to work and ended with having a run-in with one of the other graduates—whose father just happened to be a partner of the firm. Apparently, after leaving the office, Alyssa had broken down in tears as soon as she reached the car.
I was proud of her for not giving them the satisfaction of breaking down in front of them. The bastards didn’t deserve that victory.
“I’m sorry to hear it was fucked-up,” I whispered. “If I was there, I would kiss and hug”—and fuck—“you until it was all better.”
She giggled lightly down the line. “It’s better already just hearing your voice. Thank you.”
I grinned. Since we’d reunited, she’d often had to be my oasis in this shitty-arsed world, so I was glad I could do the same for her at least once. We chatted a little more about her day, and mine, before being interrupted by a ruckus on her end. I could hear Phoebe asking something, but I couldn’t make out all the words. I wondered if Alyssa had her hand on the mouthpiece.
“Would you like to talk to Phoebe?” she asked when I had her attention again.
“Hell yeah,” I said, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, but I’d been missing my little girl just as much as my bigger one.
I heard Alyssa chuckling as she passed the phone on.
“Hi, Daddy!”
It was amazing how those two little words made my whole fucking day even better. “Hi, baby, how was your day?”
“Good. I did some painting and played in the sandpit today.” She barely took a breath before telling me all the other details of her day. “Netty said she’s my best friend, and Miss Mary read us lots of stories and taught us a new song.” She launched straight into it, singing down the line about a town that was upside down or something.
I smiled as I listened to her. It was actually a little frightening each time I spoke to her because it forced me to see just how grown-up she was. Talking to her over the phone made me appreciate how well she could converse. After she finished her song, I told her how good I thought it was, and in return she made sure I knew all the words before we were allowed to move on to the next topic.
“Did you win today, Daddy?” she asked.
I snickered, but then decided it was easier to tell her I had won rather than try to explain the differences between practise sessions, qualifying, and races just yet. That could be a conversation for another day when she was older. Besides, I did feel like I’d won. The Mini was never going to be my dream car, but being back on the track was indescribable. “Yes, I won today.”
I heard her squeal, and then she was off and talking to Alyssa rather than into the phone. I chuckled when Alyssa came back on. “I think I’m going to hear about your win for a while. Everyone at her day care will know about it in the morning. I’d better go get her into bed. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
I felt suddenly bereft. An overwhelming pang of homesickness and loss washed over me at the thought of ending the call so soon. Even though it would only be a little over twenty-four hours before they’d be in Adelaide with me, it wasn’t soon enough.
“Can you call me back after Phoebe is in bed?” I asked Alyssa with a desperation I’d never thought I’d feel coursing through me. I needed more of her. I needed all of her.
I heard delight colour Alyssa’s voice as she agreed. She took down the hotel number and promised she would call back the moment Phoebe was asleep.
I WAITED impatiently for Alyssa’s phone call. I tried to distract myself any way I could, but nothing worked. Nothing could occupy my mind for more than a few seconds. I gave up on distractions and paced across the room, missing my family more with every step.
Finally, the phone rang and I raced to answer it. I reached it by the third ring.
“You took your time,” Alyssa joked.
I laughed. “Give me some credit. I was on the other side of the room.”
“Here I thought you wanted to talk to me?” I could hear the laughter in her voice. “I can always go if you’d prefer?”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I growled playfully.
“I won’t,” she murmured. “I couldn’t.” She sighed. “I miss you.”
I sighed as well. “Me too, baby, me too.”
“This bed’s so cold and lonely without you in it to warm it.”
I pictured her sprawled out on our bed—alone and waiting. My mouth grew dry.
“Are you in bed at the moment?” I asked.
“Yeah, I thought it was the best place to call you from. Less distractions.”
“I’m in bed too,” I told her.
My mind offered up an experience that I’d never had, but now wanted more than anything. Or at least, more than anything else I could have while she was in a different state. It was something I could share with Alyssa, and only Alyssa.
“What are you wearing?” I asked my voice dropping lower and quieter.
“Just my pyjamas, why?” she asked, but then a startled “Oh” came down the line as she understood the intent behind my question.
“I want you, Alyssa,” I whispered. “I wish you were here with me already.”
“Me too.” She sighed.
“But since you’re not with me, you’ll have to be my hands.”
“Dec, I don’t know if—”
I cut her off. “Please, Lys, for me.” I paused, desperate for her to understand exactly what I wanted and why I needed it. “I need you.”
I heard her almost muted acceptance down the line. As soon as the little “okay” reached me, I was assailed by images of her pleasing herself. Forefront in my mind was the vision I’d had a lifetime ago in London, after I’d seen the vibrator in her luggage. Even though I’d found out later that Ruby had put it there as a joke, I could still readily retrieve the mental image I’d had of Alyssa using it on herself while she panted my name.
“You’ve still got the toy that you had in London, right?” I asked.
Her voice was shaky when she replied. “I . . . umm . . . yes.” The last word was almost silent.
“I want you to use it,” I instructed. I could tell that the same thing that was driving me into a frenzy, and causing me to be utterly and completely erect, was also causing her more than a few nerves. By being assertive, I hoped I could give her more courage. I didn’t want her to be embarrassed or anxious about what I wanted—needed—in that moment. With the amount of travelling I’d be doing during the season every year, I could only hope a good outcome would mean many repeat performances.
“Please, Lys,” I cooed after getting no response. “You would not believe how hard I am just thinking about it.”
That seemed to be the motivation she needed. She breathed heavily into the phone.
“Okay,” she squeaked.
I heard her standing up before moving to rifle through the drawers. My heart pounded as I heard her footsteps as she walked back to the bed. I closed my eyes and pictured her lying on my pillow.
“Put the phone on speaker and place it beside you on the pillow,” I directed.
“Why?” she asked. Her voice quivered, but I wasn’t sure if it was with need or fear.
“I want you to use both hands,” I explained.
An instant later, I heard the slight echo of the speakerphone.
“That’s a good girl,” I murmured. I was so fucking hard it hurt. “Now, turn on the toy and have it near you ready to go.”
Declare (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #4) Page 10