“Dial 1-800-Who-Cares because I surely don’t.”
“I wanna speak to your supervisor!”
“Lady, you don’t want to get on my bad side because all kinds of shit can happen to you in here. You don’t want to make me mad.”
I shut up real quick. I’m not certain that he can make it bad for me, but I am not about to take that chance. The guard laughs at me and it takes all my self-control not to tell him to bite me. I return my attention to my pillow and again try to punch it into a comfortable position.
“Do you think I can get another pillow?”
“Ha! In your dreams. You seem to think you are on vacation. This is the big house, baby, and the only benefits you get are those I decide you need and a pillow ain’t one of them.”
Humbled, I decide to keep my comments to myself. My fear is growing. This man doesn’t like me and I sense that he is going to make things hard for me. Unfortunately, I don’t realize how hard until much later in the night. Somehow, I drift off to sleep.
My dreams are troubled; I keep seeing Kentee as he slides down the car, his face contorted in pain. It is difficult for me to watch this scene being replayed over and over in my head, but I am stuck on it. I guess because my future freedom is affected by his reactions.
In my dreams, that bitch Leah shows up to nurse him back to health. That vision alone causes me to wake up in a cold sweat. The last thing I want is to chase him back into her arms. Kentee went back and forth between us like there was a revolving door with prizes being given out at every stop. I drift off again, but the dreams are tormenting me as I fight against my covers, trying to get closer to Kentee to tell him how sorry I am for the attack.
In one dream, I finally get to speak with him and he forgives me for trying to hurt him. This is the dream that disturbs me the most because in the dream we start to get physical. I can almost feel him touching me, kissing me, tasting my steamy pussy.
Tarcia
Around three-thirty in the morning, I wake up when a pair of hands roughly snatch me from my dreams and yank down my pants. Clarity hits me full force as I realize just how much authority my jailor has over me. He clamps his hand over my mouth and whispers in my ear.
“Don’t you say a mother-fucking word ’cause I can arrange for your ass to die in here and no one will be the wiser.” He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I will take this rape and fight it when I get outside of his reign.
He flips me over and roughly pulls my shirt over my head. I’m not wearing a bra, so my breasts are fully exposed to him. He begins to eat at my breasts and I start to get real scared. He’s sucking my nipples. He is trying to eat my damn boobs! He is pinching and biting me like I am on the buffet at Ryan’s.
“Why are you doing this?” I whisper, fighting back against the pain he is inflicting.
“Because you’re a mean-ass bitch who needs to be taught a lesson.”
“I’ll be good, just stop.”
“I ain’t stopping until I am ready to stop and the more lip I get, the longer it will be.” He thrusts his dick inside me. I try to make myself enjoy what he is doing to me, but it’s hopeless. No matter which way I look at it, I am being raped and he isn’t wearing a condom! I try to close my eyes and not think about all the diseases he could be exposing me to, but it does no good. It is what it is and I cannot do shit about it until after I’m out of here.
“Just relax and I might make your stay more comfortable. Hey, I might even give you an extra pillow.”
All the anger that I previously held against Kentee is coming back two-fold and I am ready to kick some jailor ass! I allow him to stick his fingers into my pussy before I clamp down on his hand and go for his eyes. I try to snatch them right out of the sockets and his howls ring out in this otherwise quiet wing. My fingers are dripping blood and I don’t intend to let go until either he is blind or someone comes along to witness my assault; whichever comes first doesn’t matter to me.
With his free hand, he tries to knock me aside but I am determined that I will be the last female he assaults. Hell, I am already in jail. What else could they do to me? So I hold on for dear life until he passes the fuck out.
Kentee
Although the paramedics are already on the scene, they are reluctant to move me until the police arrive. Lucky for me it isn’t a life-threatening wound or I could have bled to death waiting on them. The whole time I am waiting, Tarcia is yellin.’ The police placed her in handcuffs and she is in the car, but I can still hear her mouthing even as they drive off.
The police insist that I go by ambulance to the hospital ’cause I’m two seconds away from driving myself. I am still feeling light-headed and the pain is intense despite the drugs they give me en route to the hospital. Lucky for me that psycho bitch missed my artery or things would not have gone so well.
“I can’t believe that bitch stabbed me!”
I decide not to press charges against her. She knows too much about my business to have her singing to some judge. But unfortunately, the decision is not up to me. DeKalb County decides whether they want to press charges. I don’t envy Tarcia being caught up in a system that likes to keep people that look like us locked down, but she brought it on her own damn self. I was just making sure my kids were okay.
Thinking of my kids makes my head and heart hurt. I can still hear them crying for their mother even though it was me who was bleeding. I reach for the phone to call my ex–mother-in-law. The officers told me they allowed her to take the kids home while I was being transported to the hospital. I didn’t even know she was there, but I thank God she was. It would have killed me if they sent my children to DFACS because of that dumb bitch.
Paula answers on the first ring. I don’t hear any crying in the background, so I assume the kids have settled down and gone to sleep, or worse, their mother came and got them. I know I am in for a serious tongue lashing from her the next time I speak to her.
“Hello,” Paula says.
“Uh, Paula, this is Kentee. How are the kids?” It is clear from her tone that she really doesn’t want to be talking to me.
“They’re fine.” She left off the “no thanks to you,” but it is in her voice.
“Uh…did they go home with their mother?”
“No, they’re here; Leah won’t be back until tomorrow.” Where did Leah go? Who is she with? Why didn’t she tell me?
“Oh, okay. Can I speak with Kayla?”
“They’re sleeping. They had a rough day.”
They had a rough day. What about me? Hell, I got stabbed! Isn’t she even going to ask if I am okay?
“Alright then, I guess I will talk to them later.” She hangs up, leaving me holding the phone. Fear and jealousy eat away at my stomach; fear that Leah won’t let me see my kids again and jealousy that she might be away with that guy from the day care center. Kayla talks about him a lot and I get the impression he’s spending a lot of time with them outside of the center.
I’m not ready to accept another man in Leah’s life. It doesn’t matter that I cheated on her, or that I left her for another woman. She still belongs to me and when she gets back from wherever the hell she went, I am going to make sure she knows it. I’m not about to have no other man playing father to my children! Jumping out of the hospital bed, I am impatient to get back home so I can start planning on how I can win Leah back.
I’ll just tell her I made a mistake. I’ll tell her she’s the only woman in the world for me and that it took being away from her to realize it. I’ll tell her it’s over with me and Tarcia. I won’t mention Tarcia stabbing me unless Kayla has already told her. I’ll ask her if I can move in with them. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll tell her that I don’t like them living there all by themselves. That it isn’t safe for her to live alone. If I get her scared enough, she won’t hesitate to let me back in. If she won’t let me back into the bedroom right away, I can always find a piece on the side until she comes around. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I got to get out of h
ere. Hey, I will buy her another ring! Diamonds are a surefire way to a girl’s heart.
I walk out of the hospital without waiting to be released. I hop a bus back to my car and my first stop is the pharmacy to fill my prescription for pain medication. They made a big mistake giving me the drugs before I signed the bill. Once home, sleep claims me and I start dreaming as soon as my head hits the pillow. I dream Leah and I are a family again.
Tarcia
Dread grips my stomach and makes me feel like I’m about to vomit. What have I done? The guard is lying in the corner of my cell with blood still oozing out of his eye. The blood forms a puddle on the floor and each drop echoes against the walls. I’d acted in self-defense, but looking at the evidence of my hatred scared the shit out of me.
What surprised me the most was that no one came looking for Mister Slick Dick. His radio was beeping and folks were calling, but he didn’t respond. I am quite sure my tormentor would never see out of that eye again because his eyeball was hanging down on his cheeks and appeared to be drying up like a prune.
The guards didn’t discover his body until lunchtime, some nine hours after he attempted to rape me.
“We’ve got a man down. Open number sixteen.”
They threatened me with a stun gun as they wheeled him out. Can’t they see that I’m not a threat to anyone? Haven’t I been through enough? I just want to wake up and let this nightmare be over.
“Your court date just got bumped up,” says the guard as he slams the door shut. This is scaring the shit out of me. I’ve never been to jail and don’t know what to expect. I am hoping they will let me speak to an attorney, but so far, I’ve been ignored. Briefly, I worry about Kentee, but he is the least of my problems right now. I am confident that he won’t press charges against me, but if he does, he will rue the day. However, this situation with the guard is really bothering me. If the guard hadn’t been in my cell trying to fuck me, he would have never lost his eye.
Within the hour, I am transferred into another holding cell. I ignore the catcalls as I walk in my prison-issued uniform, carrying my one pillow, blanket, and shoes, to my cell. They had me remove my clothing because it was stained with blood. I can’t decide who I am madder at, Kentee or the damn guard whose name I never knew. My new cell is further along the hallway, but this time I’m not in it alone. I wearily enter the cell, unwilling to turn my back on either the guard or my new cellmate.
At the rate I am going, I will never leave this place. Why is everyone fucking with me? My roommate is a straight-up he/she who does not waste any time letting me know how they feel about sharing a space with me.
“What the fuck is this? This ain’t no damn hotel!”
“Bitch, you don’t pay no rent, so I can put anyone in this cell I desire!” the guard says. He has a point and I have to struggle not to laugh at his witty retort. My cellmate shut his mouth up until we are alone in the cell.
“I got bottom bunk.”
“No problem.” The silence in the room is weighted as if it has a life of its own. I am curious about what this obvious drag queen did to land behind bars, but I am not about to be the first one to start a conversation. Instead, I hoist myself up on my cot and try to nap. Chauncey, as I learn is his name, has other ideas. He wants to know whom he is sleeping with.
“Why you here?”
I debate on whether or not I should tell him the truth. I want to establish right up front that I’m no damn joke, so I told him.
“I stabbed my cheating-ass boyfriend and I blinded one of the guards that tried to rape me.”
“Damn. So you a bad bitch, huh?”
“Let’s just say I don’t take no shit from nobody. If you step to me, I’m jumping in that ass.”
“Well then, I think you and I are going to get along just fine ’cause I don’t take no shit either.”
“Fine, you stay in your space and I’ll stay in mine.”
“Cool. And if shit starts to get fucked up, as it tends to get, I’ve got your back, but will you have mine?” I don’t know how to answer that. I am in unfamiliar territory. “Look, honey, this ain’t no place to be trying to be the Lone Ranger unless you want to wind up in a corner with a broomstick up your ass.”
I shudder at the visual. “I got you, sista.”
“I ain’t a sista yet. When my ass gets out of here, I will finish the process.”
“That’s entirely too much information for me. But if I read you right, we like the same thang, so I hope not to be here long enough to fight you over a damn dick.”
“Touché. But the men I am after ain’t gonna be interested in you. They know what they want before they even get here. I ain’t trying to change nobody. I just want to get my nut on!”
“Shit, you should have been with me about nine hours ago. If you had been, maybe that guard would be able to see how to tie his shoes. I fixed his ass; I dug his eyeballs out the sockets and left his ass to rot. If there’s one thing that I can’t stand, it’s a rapist.”
“Gurl, you ain’t even lied. Wish I would have been there. He wouldn’t have to rape me; I would’ve given him my shit spit-shined and polished. Shoot, girl, I ain’t had no dick in a minute. I might have raped his ass.” Despite the severity of my situation, that is funny and I cannot contain the laughter. I am beginning to like my cellmate.
“Shit, why’d he have to pick on me? I’ve already got one case; I sure don’t need two.”
“You ain’t lying, chile. These guards don’t take too kindly to you hurting one of their own, even if they are wrong.”
“But he started the shit; I didn’t want his attention or his nasty dick.”
“Wait till your ass has been here as long as I have. You will be begging for a dick! Me, I ain’t turning none of it down.”
“How long have you been here? If that’s too personal, you don’t have to answer.”
“Naw, it’s all good. I’ve been inside for ten years on a twenty-year sentence. I’m up for parole so they transferred me here to await my hearing. I am trying to keep my ass on the low-low and get the fuck up out of here.”
“Damn. Ten years is a long time,” I reply, feeling sorry for him.
“Tell me about it. This ain’t no place for punks or pushovers. You’ll have to butch up if you are going to make it. If you don’t, some ho will have your ass bent over a table fucking you with anything she can get her hands on.”
“Wow. You see that shit on TV, but I never believed it really happens.”
“Damn, gurl, you got a lot to learn. In here it’s all about respect. Don’t look folks in the eye. Keep to yourself and if someone steps to you, handle your business, ’cause if you punk out, then your life here will be hell.”
Fear grips me again. I was never much of a fighter growing up. I’d surprised myself with my ruthless attack on the guard and my foolish impulsiveness with Kentee. I never meant to stab him. I just wanted to scare him.
“Where are you from?” I am curious about Chauncey’s accent, which is familiar and foreign at the same time.
“Born and raised in New Orleans.”
“I should have guessed. I was born in New Orleans too, but I’ve lived here most of my life.”
“So what are you in for?”
“I already told you. I stabbed my boyfriend in the neck with a broken bottle.”
“Damn, you must have caught him acting like a puppy.”
“Worse. I was watching his children from a previous relationship and they set my house on fire. I lost everything and he acted like I didn’t matter.”
“Ouch. You got anger management issues.”
“That son-of-a-bitch has put me through hell. I wanted him dead!”
“I hear your pain, but those puppies ain’t worth this hell hole.” Sadly, I realize he is right. I gave up my freedom for a few seconds of satisfaction.
“If I have to stay here longer than a day, he is going to pay dearly.”
“And just how are you going to accomplish that, my T
asmanian devil?”
“I don’t know yet, but if I don’t get out soon, I will have plenty of time to think about it. Someone, either his stupid-ass ex-wife or that trifling nigga, is going to pay.”
“Oh, I smell a loud bark coming out. Don’t tell me the puppy is married too?”
“He was when we first got together, but he left her for me,” I proudly announce.
“Lawd, talk about drama!”
I realize my new cellmate is correct. I have been floating around in a pot of shit for the last few years. Ever since I laid eyes on Kentee my life hasn’t been the same.
“Yeah, it’s been a trip.”
“You could put a curse on him.”
“A curse? Oh, Lawd, not you too. I had to hear that shit from my cousin and I frankly just don’t believe in that shit.”
“It ain’t up to you to believe. If it’s done right, the proof will be in the pudding.”
“What exactly are you talking about?” I hate to admit it, but he has my curiosity going.
“Rootwork.”
“I don’t know any rootwork.” My hopes are dashed before I can get excited about the prospect of revenge.
“Maybe not, but I do.” Chauncey sits looking at his nails as if he isn’t involved in this conversation. I, on the other hand, am very interested in finding out how he can help me.
“Look, you’ve been through a lot so you need time to think about this before you agree because once this shit is started, there ain’t no backing out. The effects of some of these spells are irreversible.”
“Why are you so willing to help me? What’s in it for you?” I am suspicious of his motives. I’ve only known him for a short time and already he is pledging allegiance to me.
“It ain’t nuthin’ to me. I’m in here until they let me out. What else is there to do?”
It sounds reasonable enough to me, but I’m not thinking in my right mind. I had forbade my cousin to use black magic in my house and I know she loves me, but I am willing to trust a total stranger to do the same thing. Go figure.
Fool, Stop Trippin' Page 17